BEHAALOSECHA – INSIGHTS IN RASHI – RECTIFYING INGRATITUDE

Bamidbar, 11:1: The people took to seeking complaints; it was evil in the ears of HaShem, and HaShem heard and His wrath flared, and a fire of HaShem burned against them, and it consumed at the edge of the camp. Rashi, 11:1: sv. Evil in the ears of HaShem: …they said, ‘woe to us, we have been burdened by this journey – for three days we haven’t rested from the difficulties of the journey.’ Sv. And His wrath flared: [HaShem said] ‘I intended for your good, that you would enter the land immediately.’ As the Jewish people left Har Sinai, HaShem sped up the journey so that they would arrive in Eretz Yisrael sooner; this was an expression of HaShem’s intense ‘eagerness’, so to speak, that the nation should attain its purpose. Sadly, a number of sins impeded their progress. One of them was that of the ‘misonenim’ (complainers) who complained about the burden of the journey. Instead of realizing that it was an act of kindness on HaShem’s part - in that it would bring them to the land sooner - they complained about how difficult it was to travel without rest. This particularly angered HaShem, because not only were they ungrateful for His act of kindness, but they actually focused on a negative aspect and complained about it. This was not the only time that the people were criticized for ingratitude. Immediately following the episode of the misonenim was the section about the asafsuf (rabble) who complained about the manna. Again, in Parshas Chukas they criticized the manna, calling it lechem hakolkel (insubstantial food). The Gemara highlights these complaints as classic examples of ingratitude of the worst kind: HaShem performed a kindness for them in giving them the elevated manna, and they not only did not thank Him, but actually complained about a perceived negative aspect of the gift! The Gemara further tells us that they inherited this trait from Adam HaRishon. When he sinned by eating the fruit, HaShem asked him what happened, providing an opportunity to admit to his mistake. He answered; “The woman whom You gave to be with me – she gave me of the tree and I ate.” The Gemara highlights Adam’s reply as a gross example of ingratitude. Rashi explains that Adam blamed the fact that he sinned on HaShem because He gave Adam the woman who caused him to eat the fruit. In truth, the creation of Chava was a great gift from HaShem to provide him with the partner that he desired. We have seen the severity of viewing HaShem’s hanhaga (interaction) with His people in a negative way. This is most obvious with regards to HaShem’s gifts such as the manna, yet, in truth, even seemingly negative occurrences are also kindnesses from HaShem, and on many occasions we merit to see how such events are for the good. The following story is a dramatic example of such a phenomenon. As a young boy, Rabbi Moshe Sherer fell ill. His illness was diagnosed as strep throat which in those days, before antibiotics, was far more dangerous than today. The infection could worsen into rheumatic fever and cause permanent heart damage and even death. The doctor prescribed a very expensive medication. His mother, Mrs Basya Sherer gathered all the money to be found in the house in order to pay for the vital medication but doubted that it was enough. She nevertheless rushed to the pharmacy; the owner was not in the store, so Mrs Sherer begged his assistant to fill the prescription. The young man agreed to do so and prepared the medicine in exchange for all the money Mrs Sherer had. Mrs Sherer gratefully took the medicine and rushed home. In her haste, she tripped over a curb and watched in horror as the bottle flew from her hand and smashed on the ground. She retrieved the paper bag in which the medicine was placed, in order to save any remnants of the precious elixir, but most of it was lost. Her money and medicine gone, she rushed back to the pharmacy still carrying the bag with the broken bottle inside. By that time, the storeowner had retuned and he listened to Mrs Sherer’s sobs as she offered to clean the store after hours if he would just refill the prescription. He agreed, and went to the back of the store to refill the prescription. He returned a moment later, ashen faced. “Angels are watching over your son,” he told her. From the smell of the medicine absorbed by the bag, he realized that the original prescription had been incorrectly filled, and instead of the needed medication she had received medication that could have been life threatening to the boy. Shaken by the near tragedy, he provided Mrs Sherer with the proper medication and even returned the money she had originally paid. She would tell over this story many times, saying, ‘When I tripped and heard the bottle breaking, I thought my life was over. Little did I know that what I saw as an incomparable disaster was really the greatest blessing from the Ribbono Shel Olam.” There are times when we will merit to see how what we thought was negative ended as positive, and there are times when we do not. Regardless of the outcome, it is incumbent on us to focus on the positive aspects and work on the vital trait of gratitude.

TAKING ACHRAYUS FOR OURSELVES - NITZAVIM -

“This mitzvo that I command you today - it is not hidden from you and it is not distant. It is not in heaven, [for you] to say, ‘who can ascend to the heaven for us and take it for us, so that we can listen to it and perform it?’” What is the mitzvo that the Torah refers to in this passuk? The Ramban writes that it is the mitzvo of teshuva; the Torah is telling us that teshuva is not something that is out of our grasp, rather it is easily attainable if only we make the effort. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l asks, if the mitzvo of teshuva is so easy to fulfil, then why are there so few people who do teshuva properly, everyone knows that they make mistakes so why do they not admit their error and repent?!

The following Medrash about the story of Kayin and Hevel can help us answer this question: After Kayin killed Hevel, Hashem did not punish him instantly, rather He said “where is Hevel your brother?” Kayin famously answered, “am I my brother’s keeper?” (ibid. 4:9) The Medrash gives more details of Kayin‘s reply: “You are the protector of all life, and You are asking me?!.. I killed him but You gave me the evil inclination, You are supposed to protect everyone and You let me kill him, You are the one that killed him… had You accepted my offering like his, I would not have been jealous of him.” Why didn’t Kayin do teshuva for his heinous act? Because he refused to accept culpability for his role in the murder - he even blamed it on Hashem! We can now answer our initial question as to why so few people do teshuva properly. We are generally aware that we commit aveiros but there is one factor that prevents us from repenting properly, the ability to accept that the ultimate responsibility for our actions lies with us and us alone. There are many factors to which we can easily attribute our flaws; whether it be our upbringing, our natural inclinations, or our society, we find it extremely hard to accept ultimate responsibility for our failings. The prerequisite for teshuva is a recognition that ’I could have done better, I could have overcome my yetser hara and not sinned.’ Without the ability to make this difficult admission we can not begin to repent properly but with it teshuva is easily attainable.

This inability to admit our guilt lies at the core of the first and most decisive sin in human history which plagues us to this very day - that of Adam HaRishon. We traditionally attribute Adam’s sin to his disobeying Hashem’s instructions not to eat from the fruit, and it was this that caused Adam and Chava to be expelled from Gan Eden with all the accompanying negative consequences. Rav Motty Berger shlita points out that on closer analysis it is clear that they were not punished immediately after the sin. Rather, Hashem engaged Adam in conversation, giving him the opportunity to admit his mistake. However, Adam did not accept this reprieve, instead he said, “the woman whom You gave to be with me - she gave me of the tree and I ate.” Adam avoided responsibility for his sin, shifting it onto Chava and even Hashem himself for giving her to him initially. Then Hashem turned to Chava, also giving her a chance to repent - she too declined the offer, saying, “the serpent deceived me and I ate.” Only then did Hashem punish them for the sin. it is clear that had they taken responsibility for their actions when Hashem confronted them, then surely the punishment would have been far lighter. Who knows how different the course of history could have been!

We see from the stories of Adam and Kayin that the ability to admit one’s mistakes is perhaps even more important than not sinning! Indeed we all err at some point, it is whether we can stand up and admit the truth for our actions that is the true judge of our spiritual level. It was only several hundred years after the sad beginning of history that a man arose who would shoulder the responsibility for his actions and metaken the mistake of Adam HaRishon. The Tosefta says “why did Yehuda merit the Kingship? Because he admitted [to his actions] in the incident of Tamar.” Tamar was about to be burned at the stake for her alleged act of adultery, when she gave Yehuda the chance to admit to his part in the events. He could easily have remained quiet, thereby sentencing three souls to death - Tamar and the twins inside her. However, in a defining moment in history, he bravely accepted accountability, saying, “she is right, it is from me.” It is no co-incidence that this was the key moment in producing the seed of Moshiach. We know that Moshiach is the person who will bring mankind back to its pristine state of before the sin, rectifying the mistake of Adam and Chava. The way in which to repair the damage done by a sin is by correcting the negative midda displayed in that sin. As we have seen, the main flaw present in Adam’s sin was an inability to accept responsibility for mistakes, therefore Yehuda’s success in taking responsibility for his actions was an ideal rectification.

The intrinsic connection between Moshiach and taking responsibility continued strongly amongst Yehuda’s most distinguished descendant, David Hamelech. The Gemara tells us that Shaul sinned once and subsequently lost his kingdom, whereas David sinned twice and remained king. Why was Shaul treated so much more harshly than David? Shmuel confronted Shaul after he had not destroyed all of Amalek as he was commanded. But instead of admitting his mistake, Shaul justified his actions, denying he even sinned. Then he blamed it on the people for pressuring him to leave over some of Amalek’s animals to be offerings. After a lengthy back and forth, Shaul finally did repent but it was too late and Shmuel informed him that he had lost his right to the kingship. In contrast, after David’s sin in the incident of Batsheva, The prophet Natan sternly rebuked him for his actions, and David immediately replied, “I have sinned to Hashem.” David showed his willingness to take responsibility for his mistakes by immediately admitting his guilt unlike Shaul. Therefore he was forgiven and given another chance to continue as King. Moreover, the kabbalistic sources write that David Hamelech is a gilgul (reincarnation)l of Adam HaRishon and that his purpose was to metaken Adam’s sin. It seems very apparent that one of the main ways in which David HaMelech was metaken the chet was by taking responsibility for his error so quickly.

We live in a society today that shuns the concept of responsibility - many educated people claim that no-one can be held liable for his behaviour. They argue that essentially we do not have any free will, the person that we become is predestined based on our background, upbringing, genetics and society. Consequently, criminals can be excused of their crimes on the basis that they really had no choice in the matter, and people can tolerate the failings in their relationships and middos as being unavoidable. The Torah outlook strongly rejects this view. If a person is brave enough to admit that he can do better then Hashem will surely help him do so.

We see this from the Gemara about a man called Elazar ben Durdaya. He was a man who was steeped in immorality, however, he suddenly came to a realisation of the error of his ways. The Gemara then proceeds to tell us how he tried to gain forgiveness for his sins. He sat between a mountain and a hill and asked them to request rachamim for him but they refused. He then asked the heavens and earth to request rachamim for him but they also refused. He finally turned to the sun and the moon but they also refused to help him.

Rav Yissochor Frand Shlita brings a drash explanation of this Gemara. The different things whom he asked to pray for him represent different influences on his life; he was trying to shift responsibility for his behaviour onto them. The mountain and hill represent his parents. He argued that his upbringing was responsible for his dire situation, but they refused to acknowledge their guilt. He then turned to the heavens and earth, who represent his environment and tried to blame that for his actions, but they also would not accept responsibility for his sins. He finally turned to the sun and the moon who represent his mazal, his natural inclinations, and claimed that it was impossible to avoid sinning because of his teva. But again, they would not accept culpability for his behaviour. Then the Gemara states that he said “this thing is only dependent on myself.” He finally acknowledged that there was only one source responsible for his aveiros - himself. He could not blame his parents, society or teva, he realised that he had the power to change his ways and he did so. He then did teshuva sheleima and his soul returned to heaven and a Bas Kol came out, proclaiming that Rebbi Elazar ben Durdaya has a place in Olam Haba. The commentaries note that the Bas Kol called him ‘Rebbi’ because he is our Rebbi in teshuva - he teaches us that the only way to do proper teshuva is to admit that the ultimate responsibility for our behaviour lies only with ourselves. If we can do this, then we can hope to do teshuva sheleima.