Showing posts with label Vayeishev. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vayeishev. Show all posts
Monday, November 18, 2013
Parachat Vayéchev — Sortir de notre petit monde
Vers la fin de la paracha, Yossef HaTsadik se retrouve dans une situation désespérée, après dix ans de prison ferme, sans aucune libération en perspective. À ce moment, l’épisode de l’interprétation des rêves des ministres de Pharaon se déroule. C’est ainsi que débute son élévation soudaine jusqu’au poste de vice-roi sur toute l’Égypte. L’un des versets qui racontent la considérable amélioration de situation dans la vie de Yossef est facilement négligé. Après les rêves respectifs des deux ministres, ces derniers étaient très bouleversés, car ils n’en comprenaient pas le sens. En voyant leur mine défaite, Yossef demande : « Pourquoi semblez-vous abattus aujourd’hui ? » Cette question, apparemment sans importance entraîna l’interprétation des rêves puis la libération de Yossef et son ascension fulgurante au pouvoir. Si Yossef ne leur avait pas demandé la raison de leur désarroi, ils ne se seraient probablement jamais confiés à lui et la formidable opportunité qu’il soit libéré aurait été manquée. La petite prévenance de Yossef peut paraître insignifiante, mais il faut prendre en compte la situation dans laquelle il se trouvait à ce moment : il avait vécu dans des conditions épouvantables pendant dix ans, sans espoir réel de libération. Il aurait été compréhensible qu’il soit complètement absorbé par sa propre situation et qu’il ne remarque pas l’expression du visage des personnes qui l’entouraient. Qui plus est, il avait pour tâche de servir les deux ministres qui étaient des personnalités importantes en Mitsraïm – ceux-ci le considéraient certainement comme un subalterne et ne lui prêtaient absolument aucune attention. Pourtant, il mit ces éléments de côté et se soucia de leurs visages déprimés.
Nous sommes tentés de vivre en nous focalisant sur nos propres vies au point que nous ne remarquons pas les besoins des autres. L’un des moyens de devenir un véritable baal ‘hessed (philanthrope) est de passer outre nos intérêts personnels et d’être attentif au monde qui nous entoure. Parfois, cela demande des concessions, de ne pas tenir compte de notre bien-être en faveur de celui des autres. L’exemple le plus remarquable se trouve un peu plus tôt, dans la paracha, lorsque Tamar est prise pour être amenée au bûcher. Elle avait toutes les chances d’avoir la vie sauve en montrant que les objets qu’elle détenait étaient ceux de Yéhouda. Néanmoins, elle se soucia plus de la gêne que cela aurait causé à Yéhouda si elle le faisait et garda donc le silence . La guemara déduit de cet incident qu’il vaut mieux se laisser mourir plutôt que de mettre quelqu’un dans l’embarras . Rabbénou Yona et Tosfot affirment que telle est la halakha (loi juive) ! Cela nous enseigne que parfois, nous sommes obligés de donner priorité aux sentiments d’autrui plutôt qu’aux nôtres.
Les guedolim (grandes figures en Thora) incarnent parfaitement cette capacité de réduire à néant leurs propres besoins et à se concentrer sur ceux des autres. Le rav Moché Feinstein zatsal fut conduit en voiture par un jeune homme de sa yéchiva. Alors qu’il entrait dans la voiture, le ba’hour ferma la porte sur les doigts du rav, qui resta malgré tout silencieux, comme si rien ne s’était passé. Un spectateur abasourdi lui demanda pourquoi il n’avait pas hurlé de douleur. Le rav répondit que le jeune homme aurait certainement été très gêné de lui avoir fait mal ; rav Moché se contint et garda le silence. Cette histoire est connue, mais elle mérité réflexion ; rav Moché personnifiait cette aptitude à négliger ses sentiments pour éviter la peine de son frère juif.
Ce n’est pas seulement dans les moments difficiles que nous devons nous focaliser sur les autres. Le rav Aharon Kotler zatsal et son fils, le rav Shnéor zatsal allèrent dire au revoir au rav Isser Zalman Meltser (le beau-père de rav Aharon) avant de quitter Erets Israël pour le mariage de rav Shnéor. Le rav Isser Zalman s’arrêta au milieu des escaliers en les raccompagnant, sans les escorter jusqu’à l’extérieur de la maison. Ils lui en demandèrent la raison et il expliqua : « Plusieurs de mes voisins ont des petits-enfants qui furent tués par les nazis, yima’h chemam (que leur nom soit effacé). Comment puis-je sortir et enlacer mon petit-fils, affichant ma joie en public, alors que ces gens ne peuvent en faire autant ?! »
Ces démonstrations exceptionnelles d’altruisme peuvent être source d’inspiration pour nous. Souvent, nous pouvons dominer notre égocentrisme et prendre conscience de ce dont l’autre a besoin. Lorsque nous marchons dans la rue, nous avons tendance à être plongés dans nos pensées, mais il vaudrait la peine de prêter attention aux personnes qui nous entourent – il se peut que quelqu’un porte une lourde charge et aimerait bien qu’on lui prête main-forte . Quelques fois, sans raison particulière, nous restons focalisés sur notre petit monde. Par exemple, il arrive que celui qui fait la hagbaa (levée du séfer Thora) du Chabbat matin reste assis et porte le séfer Torah, sans ‘houmach en mains pour suivre la haftara (texte que l’on lit après la lecture de la Thora). Bien que les fidèles soient occupés à suivre la haftara, le fait de lui tendre un ‘houmach serait une marque d’attention appréciée. À Torah VaDaat, il arrivait qu’il manque des chaises dans la salle et les ba’hourim (jeunes hommes) devaient donc prendre des chaises d’une autre pièce. Le rav Shraga Feivel Mendelowitz zatsal disait qu’un jeune homme qui n’apportait qu’une seule chaise pour lui-même n’était qu’un simple porteur, tandis que celui qui en apportait deux, l’une pour lui-même et l’autre pour son ami, était un baal ‘hessed .
Plusieurs actes de prévenance peuvent illuminer la vie d’une personne. Nous apprenons de Yossef que nous ne pouvons jamais savoir quelles seront les conséquences d’un bienfait. Le Alter de Slabodka zatsal disait que l’on ne peut également jamais savoir quel salaire nous allons recevoir pour un petit acte de ‘hessed. Il évoque l’incident lors duquel Yaacov Avinou enleva la pierre du puits afin que tout le monde puisse en boire l’eau. Cette petite sollicitude ne semble pas vraiment compter parmi les nombreuses mitsvot que Yaacov accomplit au cours de sa vie. Pourtant, elle est un grand mérite pour le peuple juif. Chaque année, nous récitons une prière spéciale pour la pluie – tefilat haguechem. Dans cette tefila, nous rapportons certaines actions vertueuses des patriarches, telles que la victoire de Yaacov sur l’ange d’Essav. Or, nous mentionnons également le fait que Yaacov retira cette pierre : « Il [Yaacov] se dévoua et fit rouler la pierre de l’ouverture du puits – en sa faveur, ne retiens pas l’eau. » Chaque bienfait accompli avec un cœur sincère a une valeur inestimable. Puissions-nous tous apprendre de nos Avot (patriarches) et être de véritables donneurs.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
STEPPING OUT OF OUR OWN WORLD - VAYEISHEV
Towards the end of the parsha, Yosef Hatzadik finds himself in a hopeless situation, having been in prison for ten years with no prospect of freedom. At that point othe incident of the interpretation of the dreams of Pharaoh’s ministers takes place. This begins the process of his meteoric rise to the position of Viceroy over the whole of Mitzrayim. There is one easily overlooked passuk which signals the beginning of the drastic upturn in Yosef’s fortunes. After the two ministers dreamt their respective dreams, they were very distressed because they did not know their meaning. At that point, Yosef sees their unhappy countenances; he asks, “Why do you appear downcast today? ” This seemingly inconsequential question leads to the interpretation of the dreams which eventually results in Yosef’s liberation and incredible rise to power. Had Yosef never asked them why they were upset then they would probably never have confided in him and the golden opportunity for freedom would be lost. Yosef’s small act of thoughtfulness may not seem particularly noteworthy, however in truth it is quite remarkable considering his situation at that time: He had been living in appalling conditions for 10 years with no realistic hope of freedom. He had every right to be totally engrossed in his own situation and not notice the facial expressions of those around him. Moreover he was assigned to serve the two ministers who were very important people in Mitzrayim - they surely treated him as an inferior and gave him absolutely no attention. Yet he overcame all these factors and showed concern at their distressed appearance.
There is a great temptation to go through life so absorbed in our own lives that we do not recognize the needs of others. One of the keys to being a genuine baal chesed is to overcome our own self-absorption and notice the world around us. Sometimes, this even requires that we be mevater on our own needs for the sake of others. The most glaring example of this is found earlier in the parsha when Tamar is being taken to be burnt at the stake. She had every opportunity to save her life by revealing that the items in her possession were those of Yehuda. However she gave greater emphasis to the embarrassment that Yehuda would endure if she did so and therefore remained quiet. The Gemara learns from here that a person must give up his life before embarrassing someone else . Rabbeinu Yonah and Tosefos pasken this way lehalacho! This teaches us that there are occasions where we are obligated to give greater precedence to the feelings of others than even our own.
Gedolim epitomized the ability to negate one’s own needs and focus on the needs of others. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l was being taken in a car by a bachur from his yeshiva. As Reb Moshe entered the car the bachur closed the door onto his fingers, yet he remained completely silent as if nothing had happened. A bewildered onlooker asked him why he did not cry out. He answered that the bachur would feel incredible embarrassment about having caused him pain and therefore Reb Moshe controlled himself and kept quiet. This is a well-known story but it deserves thought; Reb Moshe exemplified the ability to ignore his own feelings in order to spare the pain of his fellow Jew.
It is not only in times of pain that we should focus on others. Rav Aharon Kotler zt”l and his son Rav Shneur zt”l went to Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer (Rav Aharon’s father-in-law) to say goodbye shortly before leaving Eretz Yisroel for Rav Shneur’s chasunah. Rav Isser Zalman stopped in the middle of the stairs on the way down rather than escorting them all the way to the street. They asked him about it and he explained, “Many of the people who live around here have grandchildren who were murdered by the Nazis, yemach shemam. How could I go down to the street and embrace my grandchild, flaunting my joy publicly, when these people can’t do the same?! ”
These superhuman demonstrations of selflessness can be an inspiration to us. There are numerous examples where we can overcome our own self-absorption and show an awareness of the needs of those around us. When we are walking down the street we tend to be involved in our own thoughts but it is worthwhile to be aware of the people around us - there may be someone who is carrying a heavy load and would appreciate a helping hand . There are many occasions when we may not be experiencing great joy or pain but we may still tend to focus on our own dalet amos alone. For example, after hagbaah on Shabbos Shacharis the baal hagbaah is left sitting on a chair holding the Sefer Torah with no Chumash to read the Haftara. People are understandably focused on following the Haftara themselves, but it shows great thoughtfulness to hand him a Chumash so he too can follow along. In Torah Vodaas there were occasions where there were not enough chairs in the room so the bachurim had to bring chairs for themselves from another room. Rav Shraga Feivel Mendelowitz zt”l used to say that a boy who brought just one chair for himself was merely a shlepper, but a boy who brought two, one for himself and one for a friend, was a baal chesed .
There are numerous examples of small acts of thoughtfulness that can light up people’s lives. And we learn from Yosef that we can never be certain of the consequences of one act of chesed. The Alter of Slobodka zt”l says that we can also never know how much reward we receive for a small act of chesed. He discusses the incident in which Yaakov Avinu removes the stone off the mouth of the well so that everyone could drink the water. This small act of kindness would not seem to rank highly amongst the numerous mitzvos that Yaakov performed throughout his life. However, it is in fact the source of great merit for the Jewish people. Every year we recite a special prayer for rain - Tefillas Geshem. In this tefilla we mention some of the great acts of the Avos such as Yaakov’s overcoming of Esav’s malach. Yet we also mention Yaakov’s removal of the stone: “He [Yaakov] dedicated his heart and rolled a stone from the mouth of a well of water - for his sake do not hold back water.” Every act of chesed done with purity of heart is of immeasurable value. May we all learn from our Avos and be true givers.
There is a great temptation to go through life so absorbed in our own lives that we do not recognize the needs of others. One of the keys to being a genuine baal chesed is to overcome our own self-absorption and notice the world around us. Sometimes, this even requires that we be mevater on our own needs for the sake of others. The most glaring example of this is found earlier in the parsha when Tamar is being taken to be burnt at the stake. She had every opportunity to save her life by revealing that the items in her possession were those of Yehuda. However she gave greater emphasis to the embarrassment that Yehuda would endure if she did so and therefore remained quiet. The Gemara learns from here that a person must give up his life before embarrassing someone else . Rabbeinu Yonah and Tosefos pasken this way lehalacho! This teaches us that there are occasions where we are obligated to give greater precedence to the feelings of others than even our own.
Gedolim epitomized the ability to negate one’s own needs and focus on the needs of others. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l was being taken in a car by a bachur from his yeshiva. As Reb Moshe entered the car the bachur closed the door onto his fingers, yet he remained completely silent as if nothing had happened. A bewildered onlooker asked him why he did not cry out. He answered that the bachur would feel incredible embarrassment about having caused him pain and therefore Reb Moshe controlled himself and kept quiet. This is a well-known story but it deserves thought; Reb Moshe exemplified the ability to ignore his own feelings in order to spare the pain of his fellow Jew.
It is not only in times of pain that we should focus on others. Rav Aharon Kotler zt”l and his son Rav Shneur zt”l went to Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer (Rav Aharon’s father-in-law) to say goodbye shortly before leaving Eretz Yisroel for Rav Shneur’s chasunah. Rav Isser Zalman stopped in the middle of the stairs on the way down rather than escorting them all the way to the street. They asked him about it and he explained, “Many of the people who live around here have grandchildren who were murdered by the Nazis, yemach shemam. How could I go down to the street and embrace my grandchild, flaunting my joy publicly, when these people can’t do the same?! ”
These superhuman demonstrations of selflessness can be an inspiration to us. There are numerous examples where we can overcome our own self-absorption and show an awareness of the needs of those around us. When we are walking down the street we tend to be involved in our own thoughts but it is worthwhile to be aware of the people around us - there may be someone who is carrying a heavy load and would appreciate a helping hand . There are many occasions when we may not be experiencing great joy or pain but we may still tend to focus on our own dalet amos alone. For example, after hagbaah on Shabbos Shacharis the baal hagbaah is left sitting on a chair holding the Sefer Torah with no Chumash to read the Haftara. People are understandably focused on following the Haftara themselves, but it shows great thoughtfulness to hand him a Chumash so he too can follow along. In Torah Vodaas there were occasions where there were not enough chairs in the room so the bachurim had to bring chairs for themselves from another room. Rav Shraga Feivel Mendelowitz zt”l used to say that a boy who brought just one chair for himself was merely a shlepper, but a boy who brought two, one for himself and one for a friend, was a baal chesed .
There are numerous examples of small acts of thoughtfulness that can light up people’s lives. And we learn from Yosef that we can never be certain of the consequences of one act of chesed. The Alter of Slobodka zt”l says that we can also never know how much reward we receive for a small act of chesed. He discusses the incident in which Yaakov Avinu removes the stone off the mouth of the well so that everyone could drink the water. This small act of kindness would not seem to rank highly amongst the numerous mitzvos that Yaakov performed throughout his life. However, it is in fact the source of great merit for the Jewish people. Every year we recite a special prayer for rain - Tefillas Geshem. In this tefilla we mention some of the great acts of the Avos such as Yaakov’s overcoming of Esav’s malach. Yet we also mention Yaakov’s removal of the stone: “He [Yaakov] dedicated his heart and rolled a stone from the mouth of a well of water - for his sake do not hold back water.” Every act of chesed done with purity of heart is of immeasurable value. May we all learn from our Avos and be true givers.
JOSEPH’S DREAMS - VAYEISHEV
The Torah Portion begins with an account of the deterioration of the relationship between Joseph and his brothers. Joseph’s two dreams played a very significant part in the increasing resentment of the brothers towards him. Close analysis of the dreams can provide us with more insight into how they caused such a rift amongst the brothers. The Beis HaLevi, Rabbi Yosef Dov Soleveitchik notes that the Torah tells us after the first dream that the brothers hated Joseph, whereas after the second dream it does not state that they hated him, rather that they were jealous of him . What is the reason for this difference?
The Beis HaLevi answers this by examining the dreams more carefully. In the first dream Yosef said that he and his brothers were in the field and that their sheaves stood up and bowed down to his sheave; he did not say that the brothers themselves bowed down to him. In contrast in the second dream he compared them to stars and related that they bowed down to him. In this dream the stars represented the brothers and that they themselves bowed directly to Yosef . The
Beis HaLevi explains that the two dreams represented two separate areas in which the brothers would become subservient and inferior to Joseph. The sheaves in the first dream represented Yosef’s future superiority over the brothers in the realm of success in this world (Olam Hazeh). The bowing of their sheaves to his indicated that they would be dependent upon him for their physical sustenance. However, success in the physical realm does not make a person intrinsically superior to others, rather it means that he has more possessions. Accordingly, a wealthy person is not on a higher level than a pauper. Based on this, the Beis HaLevi explains that in the first dream which represented gashmius (physicality), the brothers themselves did not show their subservience to Joseph, rather their physical possessions are shown to be inferior to those of their brother. In contrast the second dream refers to Yosef’s future spiritual superiority over the brothers. Spiritual accomplishments do define the intrinsic greatness of a person. Accordingly, in the second dream, which represented ruchnius (spirituality), the brothers’ themselves bowed to Joseph, indicating his inherent spiritual superiority over them.
With this understanding the Beis HaLevi answers the initial question of why after the first dream the brothers hated Joseph whereas following the second, they were jealous of him. Hatred results when one resents another person’s actions, whereas jealousy arises when one feels inferior to his fellow. The brothers hated Joseph after the first dream because of its implication that they would need him for their sustenance and he would physically rule over them. However they were not jealous of him because the prospect of his greater wealth did not make them feel inferior to him. They saw physical attainment as something external to a person and therefore not worthy of jealousy. In contrast they were jealous of him after the second dream because that implied that he would be spiritually superior to them and this could indeed arouse their jealousy.
There are two very important lessons that can be derived from the Beis HaLevi’s explanation. Firstly, we learn that the material possessions of a person are of no consequence with regard to his true greatness. A wealthy person may be deserving of respect , but one should not envy his wealth because it does not represent a barometer of his real value. Only the spiritual level of a person determines the true greatness of a person and only that is worthy of envy.
It is very possible for a person to view his sense of importance in terms of his material possessions. One possible way of maintaining a correct perspective to material possessions is to look at what defines a great person in the Torah world. Wealth is of no significance in determining who is a ‘Gadol b’Yisroel’ (a term used to describe the greatest Torah scholars), indeed many Gedolim were extremely poor. What is important according to the Torah definition is the intrinsic spiritual greatness that a person attains. Reminding oneself of the qualities of our Gedolim can help us keep an accurate perspective of the insignificance of wealth to one’s true greatness.
One indication that a person that is very attached to his physical belongings is that he looks at them as part of his very being. For example, a person’s home may be so precious to him that any damage to it is equivalent in his eyes to damage to his own body. Another negative consequence of such an attitude is that a person who is so attached to the physical world can become a slave to it to the extent that it dictates his life in a damaging way. This was sadly evident in the years before the Holocaust in Germany. As the situation of the Jewish people in Germany deteriorated many Jews became increasingly aware of the need to escape. However, some of the wealthier Jews found it very difficult to leave their beautiful homes and possessions. Consequently far more poor Jews left Germany than their wealthy counterparts. Their attachment to their physical possessions proved fatally dangerous .
We learn from the dreams of Joseph that the only true measure of greatness is spiritual accomplishment and not material gain. May we all merit to recognize and achieve genuine greatness.
The Beis HaLevi answers this by examining the dreams more carefully. In the first dream Yosef said that he and his brothers were in the field and that their sheaves stood up and bowed down to his sheave; he did not say that the brothers themselves bowed down to him. In contrast in the second dream he compared them to stars and related that they bowed down to him. In this dream the stars represented the brothers and that they themselves bowed directly to Yosef . The
Beis HaLevi explains that the two dreams represented two separate areas in which the brothers would become subservient and inferior to Joseph. The sheaves in the first dream represented Yosef’s future superiority over the brothers in the realm of success in this world (Olam Hazeh). The bowing of their sheaves to his indicated that they would be dependent upon him for their physical sustenance. However, success in the physical realm does not make a person intrinsically superior to others, rather it means that he has more possessions. Accordingly, a wealthy person is not on a higher level than a pauper. Based on this, the Beis HaLevi explains that in the first dream which represented gashmius (physicality), the brothers themselves did not show their subservience to Joseph, rather their physical possessions are shown to be inferior to those of their brother. In contrast the second dream refers to Yosef’s future spiritual superiority over the brothers. Spiritual accomplishments do define the intrinsic greatness of a person. Accordingly, in the second dream, which represented ruchnius (spirituality), the brothers’ themselves bowed to Joseph, indicating his inherent spiritual superiority over them.
With this understanding the Beis HaLevi answers the initial question of why after the first dream the brothers hated Joseph whereas following the second, they were jealous of him. Hatred results when one resents another person’s actions, whereas jealousy arises when one feels inferior to his fellow. The brothers hated Joseph after the first dream because of its implication that they would need him for their sustenance and he would physically rule over them. However they were not jealous of him because the prospect of his greater wealth did not make them feel inferior to him. They saw physical attainment as something external to a person and therefore not worthy of jealousy. In contrast they were jealous of him after the second dream because that implied that he would be spiritually superior to them and this could indeed arouse their jealousy.
There are two very important lessons that can be derived from the Beis HaLevi’s explanation. Firstly, we learn that the material possessions of a person are of no consequence with regard to his true greatness. A wealthy person may be deserving of respect , but one should not envy his wealth because it does not represent a barometer of his real value. Only the spiritual level of a person determines the true greatness of a person and only that is worthy of envy.
It is very possible for a person to view his sense of importance in terms of his material possessions. One possible way of maintaining a correct perspective to material possessions is to look at what defines a great person in the Torah world. Wealth is of no significance in determining who is a ‘Gadol b’Yisroel’ (a term used to describe the greatest Torah scholars), indeed many Gedolim were extremely poor. What is important according to the Torah definition is the intrinsic spiritual greatness that a person attains. Reminding oneself of the qualities of our Gedolim can help us keep an accurate perspective of the insignificance of wealth to one’s true greatness.
One indication that a person that is very attached to his physical belongings is that he looks at them as part of his very being. For example, a person’s home may be so precious to him that any damage to it is equivalent in his eyes to damage to his own body. Another negative consequence of such an attitude is that a person who is so attached to the physical world can become a slave to it to the extent that it dictates his life in a damaging way. This was sadly evident in the years before the Holocaust in Germany. As the situation of the Jewish people in Germany deteriorated many Jews became increasingly aware of the need to escape. However, some of the wealthier Jews found it very difficult to leave their beautiful homes and possessions. Consequently far more poor Jews left Germany than their wealthy counterparts. Their attachment to their physical possessions proved fatally dangerous .
We learn from the dreams of Joseph that the only true measure of greatness is spiritual accomplishment and not material gain. May we all merit to recognize and achieve genuine greatness.
THE WRONG KIND OF JOY - VAYEISHEV
“And Yosef dreamt a dream, which he told to his brothers, and they hated him even more. And he said to them, ‘please hear the dream that I dreamt: ‘Behold, we were binding sheaves in the middle of the field, when, behold, my sheaf arose and also stood; then behold, your sheaves gathered around and bowed down to my sheaf.”
The beginning of the Parsha relates the sequence of events that led to the sale of Yosef. The Torah tells us that the brothers hated Yosef because they saw that Yaakov loved him more than all of them. When Yosef related the contents of his first dream to his brothers, their hatred of him increased. The Torah states: “And they hated him more, because of his dreams and because of his words.” The commentaries ask that since the Torah already stated that they hated him because of his dreams, what does the clause, “because of his words”, refer to?
Rav Moshe Sternbuch shlita answers this by quoting the Meshech Chachma. The Meshech Chachma writes that three times in Yosef’s account of the dream, he says, ‘Behold!’ ’ He brings a Sifri that when the word’ ’Behold’ is used in the Torah, it is associated with joy. Yosef expressed joy at every stage of the dream, and because of this joy at the events of the dream, the brothers hated him even more. Thus, the clause, “because of his words” does not refer to the actual content of the dream, rather the way in which he told it over to them – with such joy. It still remains unclear why the brothers should hate him for being happy about having success – that would seem to be quite understandable. Rav Sternbuch explains that the brothers perceived that Yosef’s joy was not only because of his own success that was predicted in the dream, rather also the fact that they would not achieve the same success. It was this perceived attitude of joy at their expense that caused them to hate him even more. Rav Sternbuch continues to discuss the Torah approach to this form of joy – joy at the failings of one’s fellow. He writes, “It is a fundamental tenet that when HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives power, wealth, or honor to a person, he should thank HaShem, but if he is only happy because he got it and his fellow did not – this is a forbidden form of joy.”
Whether Yosef really felt this forbidden type of joy is unclear, however, the Netsiv writes that even Yaakov Avinu was susceptible to this challenge: In the episode at the end of Parshas Toldos, Yaakov tricked his father into giving him the blessings. The Netsiv explains that this was a kind of ‘aveiro lishma’ - a sin that was done purely for the right reasons, and thus was the correct way to act in these specific circumstances. The Netsiv notes, however, that Yaakov was punished for the pain that his trickery caused Esav; when Esav heard that Yaakov had taken the blessings, he let out a tremendous cry of pain. Chazal say that measure for measure, Yaakov’s descendant, Mordechai, let out a similar kind of cry when Haman, Esav’s descendant, decreed the destruction of the Jewish people. The Netsiv notes that Yitzchak Avinu also endured great pain when he heard that he had been tricked – he trembled greatly when he realized what had happened. Why, then was Yaakov not punished for the pain he caused Yitzchak, whilst he was punished for that which he inflicted on Esav? He answers that Yaakov had absolutely no pleasure at the pain that he caused Yitzchak in deceiving him, therefore he was not punished for the pain that Yitzchak experienced. However, he felt some small measure of happiness at Esav’s distress. Accordingly, he was punished for that element of joy he felt at Esav’s loss. Thus, we see, according to the Netsiv, that even Yaakov Avinu, on some slight level, was subject to the feeling of joy at success at the expense of someone else.
Rav Sternbuch’s lesson; that joy at someone else’s expense, lies at the very centre of the Torah attitude to interpersonal relationships. It is well-known that the most fundamental Mitzvo in this realm is that of, “Love your neighbor like yourself”. One of the most basic aspects of this Mitzvo is that one should develop a desire for his fellow man to succeed just as much as he wants that for himself.
It seems that an attitude of joy at one’s fellow’s failures represents the antithesis of the essence of the Mitzvo. Indeed, the Rambam seems to express this point in his discussion of this Mitzvo: He ends by saying that a person who feels joy at the failure or degradation of his fellow has no place in the World to Come.
It seems that the secular attitude and the Torah outlook clash greatly in this area. In the secular world, there is a strong emphasis on competition, and the idea of “each man for himself”. Sports, in particular ingrain a desire to “beat” the other person. It is very common for sports fans to be as happy at the defeat of their rival, as they are joyous at their own victory. Moreover, in many areas of life, there is a great stress on succeeding, and this often involves overcoming or defeating others. The Torah outlook also emphasizes succeeding in life, but the Torah’s definition of success does not include ‘defeating’ other people. In fact, a large aspect of a Torah Jew’s success is his ability to work as a unit with his fellow Jews. This is based on a recognition that all Jews are part of one spiritual entity, and therefore the success of one part of that entity, means success for all the other parts as well. This concept is applied to Jewish law. For example, on joyous occasions, the prayer of Tachanun is omitted. This is not limited to one’s own happy occasions, rather if there is a single person in the Minyan who is celebrating a happy event , then the whole Minyan is exempt from Tachanun – this is because his joy is shared by everyone else present. This is even the case, when the other members of the Minyan do not know the person! This teaches us how we should view such events.
We learn from the explanations of the Meshech Chachma and Rav Sternuch that having joy because of the downfall of one’s fellow, is something worthy of disdain. May we all merit to avoid this attitude, and fulfill the Mitzvo to love our neighbor to the fullest extent.
The beginning of the Parsha relates the sequence of events that led to the sale of Yosef. The Torah tells us that the brothers hated Yosef because they saw that Yaakov loved him more than all of them. When Yosef related the contents of his first dream to his brothers, their hatred of him increased. The Torah states: “And they hated him more, because of his dreams and because of his words.” The commentaries ask that since the Torah already stated that they hated him because of his dreams, what does the clause, “because of his words”, refer to?
Rav Moshe Sternbuch shlita answers this by quoting the Meshech Chachma. The Meshech Chachma writes that three times in Yosef’s account of the dream, he says, ‘Behold!’ ’ He brings a Sifri that when the word’ ’Behold’ is used in the Torah, it is associated with joy. Yosef expressed joy at every stage of the dream, and because of this joy at the events of the dream, the brothers hated him even more. Thus, the clause, “because of his words” does not refer to the actual content of the dream, rather the way in which he told it over to them – with such joy. It still remains unclear why the brothers should hate him for being happy about having success – that would seem to be quite understandable. Rav Sternbuch explains that the brothers perceived that Yosef’s joy was not only because of his own success that was predicted in the dream, rather also the fact that they would not achieve the same success. It was this perceived attitude of joy at their expense that caused them to hate him even more. Rav Sternbuch continues to discuss the Torah approach to this form of joy – joy at the failings of one’s fellow. He writes, “It is a fundamental tenet that when HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives power, wealth, or honor to a person, he should thank HaShem, but if he is only happy because he got it and his fellow did not – this is a forbidden form of joy.”
Whether Yosef really felt this forbidden type of joy is unclear, however, the Netsiv writes that even Yaakov Avinu was susceptible to this challenge: In the episode at the end of Parshas Toldos, Yaakov tricked his father into giving him the blessings. The Netsiv explains that this was a kind of ‘aveiro lishma’ - a sin that was done purely for the right reasons, and thus was the correct way to act in these specific circumstances. The Netsiv notes, however, that Yaakov was punished for the pain that his trickery caused Esav; when Esav heard that Yaakov had taken the blessings, he let out a tremendous cry of pain. Chazal say that measure for measure, Yaakov’s descendant, Mordechai, let out a similar kind of cry when Haman, Esav’s descendant, decreed the destruction of the Jewish people. The Netsiv notes that Yitzchak Avinu also endured great pain when he heard that he had been tricked – he trembled greatly when he realized what had happened. Why, then was Yaakov not punished for the pain he caused Yitzchak, whilst he was punished for that which he inflicted on Esav? He answers that Yaakov had absolutely no pleasure at the pain that he caused Yitzchak in deceiving him, therefore he was not punished for the pain that Yitzchak experienced. However, he felt some small measure of happiness at Esav’s distress. Accordingly, he was punished for that element of joy he felt at Esav’s loss. Thus, we see, according to the Netsiv, that even Yaakov Avinu, on some slight level, was subject to the feeling of joy at success at the expense of someone else.
Rav Sternbuch’s lesson; that joy at someone else’s expense, lies at the very centre of the Torah attitude to interpersonal relationships. It is well-known that the most fundamental Mitzvo in this realm is that of, “Love your neighbor like yourself”. One of the most basic aspects of this Mitzvo is that one should develop a desire for his fellow man to succeed just as much as he wants that for himself.
It seems that an attitude of joy at one’s fellow’s failures represents the antithesis of the essence of the Mitzvo. Indeed, the Rambam seems to express this point in his discussion of this Mitzvo: He ends by saying that a person who feels joy at the failure or degradation of his fellow has no place in the World to Come.
It seems that the secular attitude and the Torah outlook clash greatly in this area. In the secular world, there is a strong emphasis on competition, and the idea of “each man for himself”. Sports, in particular ingrain a desire to “beat” the other person. It is very common for sports fans to be as happy at the defeat of their rival, as they are joyous at their own victory. Moreover, in many areas of life, there is a great stress on succeeding, and this often involves overcoming or defeating others. The Torah outlook also emphasizes succeeding in life, but the Torah’s definition of success does not include ‘defeating’ other people. In fact, a large aspect of a Torah Jew’s success is his ability to work as a unit with his fellow Jews. This is based on a recognition that all Jews are part of one spiritual entity, and therefore the success of one part of that entity, means success for all the other parts as well. This concept is applied to Jewish law. For example, on joyous occasions, the prayer of Tachanun is omitted. This is not limited to one’s own happy occasions, rather if there is a single person in the Minyan who is celebrating a happy event , then the whole Minyan is exempt from Tachanun – this is because his joy is shared by everyone else present. This is even the case, when the other members of the Minyan do not know the person! This teaches us how we should view such events.
We learn from the explanations of the Meshech Chachma and Rav Sternuch that having joy because of the downfall of one’s fellow, is something worthy of disdain. May we all merit to avoid this attitude, and fulfill the Mitzvo to love our neighbor to the fullest extent.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
THE WRONG KIND OF JOY - VAYEISHEV
“And Yosef dreamt a dream, which he told to his brothers, and they hated him even more. And he said to them, ‘please hear the dream that I dreamt: ‘Behold, we were binding sheaves in the middle of the field, when, behold, my sheaf arose and also stood; then behold, your sheaves gathered around and bowed down to my sheaf.”
The beginning of the Parsha relates the sequence of events that led to the sale of Yosef. The Torah tells us that the brothers hated Yosef because they saw that Yaakov loved him more than all of them. When Yosef related the contents of his first dream to his brothers, their hatred of him increased. The Torah states: “And they hated him more, because of his dreams and because of his words.” The commentaries ask that since the Torah already stated that they hated him because of his dreams, what does the clause, “because of his words”, refer to?
Rav Moshe Sternbuch shlita answers this by quoting the Meshech Chachma. The Meshech Chachma writes that three times in Yosef’s account of the dream, he says, ‘Behold!’ ’ He brings a Sifri that when the word’ ’Behold’ is used in the Torah, it is associated with joy. Yosef expressed joy at every stage of the dream, and because of this joy at the events of the dream, the brothers hated him even more. Thus, the clause, “because of his words” does not refer to the actual content of the dream, rather the way in which he told it over to them – with such joy. It still remains unclear why the brothers should hate him for being happy about having success – that would seem to be quite understandable. Rav Sternbuch explains that the brothers perceived that Yosef’s joy was not only because of his own success that was predicted in the dream, rather also the fact that they would not achieve the same success. It was this perceived attitude of joy at their expense that caused them to hate him even more. Rav Sternbuch continues to discuss the Torah approach to this form of joy – joy at the failings of one’s fellow. He writes, “It is a fundamental tenet that when HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives power, wealth, or honor to a person, he should thank HaShem, but if he is only happy because he got it and his fellow did not – this is a forbidden form of joy.”
Whether Yosef really felt this forbidden type of joy is unclear, however, the Netsiv writes that even Yaakov Avinu was susceptible to this challenge: In the episode at the end of Parshas Toldos, Yaakov tricked his father into giving him the blessings. The Netsiv explains that this was a kind of ‘aveiro lishma’- a sin that was done purely for the right reasons, and thus was the correct way to act in these specific circumstances. The Netsiv notes, however, that Yaakov was punished for the pain that his trickery caused Esav; when Esav heard that Yaakov had taken the blessings, he let out a tremendous cry of pain. Chazal say that measure for measure, Yaakov’s descendant, Mordechai, let out a similar kind of cry when Haman, Esav’s descendant, decreed the destruction of the Jewish people. The Netsiv notes that Yitzchak Avinu also endured great pain when he heard that he had been tricked – he trembled greatly when he realized what had happened. Why, then was Yaakov not punished for the pain he caused Yitzchak, whilst he was punished for that which he inflicted on Esav? He answers that Yaakov had absolutely no pleasure at the pain that he caused Yitzchak in deceiving him, therefore he was not punished for the pain that Yitzchak experienced. However, he felt some measure of happiness at Esav’s distress. Accordingly, he was punished for that element of joy he felt at Esav’s loss. Thus, we see, according to the Netsiv, that even Yaakov Avinu, on some slight level, was subject to the feeling of joy at success at the expense of someone else.
Rav Sternbuch’s lesson; that joy at someone else’s expense, lies at the very centre of the Torah attitude to interpersonal relationships. It is well-known that the most fundamental Mitzvo in this realm is that of, “Love your neighbor like yourself”. One of the most basic aspects of this Mitzvo is that one should develop a desire for his fellow man to succeed just as much as he wants that for himself. It seems that an attitude of joy at one’s fellow’s failures represents the antithesis of the essence of the Mitzvo. Indeed, the Rambam seems to express this point in his discussion of this Mitzvo: He ends by saying that a person who feels joy at the failure or degradation of his fellow has no place in the World to Come.
It seems that the secular attitude and the Torah outlook clash greatly in this area. In the secular world, there is a strong emphasis on competition, and the idea of “each man for himself”. Sports, in particular ingrain a desire to “beat” the other person. It is very common for sports fans to be as happy at the defeat of their rival, as they are joyous at their own victory. Moreover, in many areas of life, there is a great stress on succeeding, and this often involves, overcoming or defeating others. The Torah outlook also emphasizes succeeding in life, but the Torah’s definition of success does not include ‘defeating’ other people. In fact, a large aspect of a Torah Jew’s success is his ability to work as a unit with his fellow Jews. This is based on a recognition that all Jews are part of one spiritual entity, and therefore the success of one part of that entity, means success for all the other parts as well. This concept is applied to Jewish law. For example, on joyous occasions, the prayer of Tachanun is omitted. This is not limited to one’s own happy occasions, rather if there is a single person in the Minyan who is celebrating a happy event , then the whole Minyan is exempt from Tachanun – this is because his joy is shared by everyone else present. This is even the case, when the other members of the Minyan do not know the person! This teaches us how we should view such events.
We learn from the explanations of the Meshech Chachma and Rav Sternuch that having joy because of the downfall of one’s fellow, is something worthy of disdain. May we all merit to avoid this attitude, and fulfill the Mitzvo to love our neighbor to the fullest extent.
The beginning of the Parsha relates the sequence of events that led to the sale of Yosef. The Torah tells us that the brothers hated Yosef because they saw that Yaakov loved him more than all of them. When Yosef related the contents of his first dream to his brothers, their hatred of him increased. The Torah states: “And they hated him more, because of his dreams and because of his words.” The commentaries ask that since the Torah already stated that they hated him because of his dreams, what does the clause, “because of his words”, refer to?
Rav Moshe Sternbuch shlita answers this by quoting the Meshech Chachma. The Meshech Chachma writes that three times in Yosef’s account of the dream, he says, ‘Behold!’ ’ He brings a Sifri that when the word’ ’Behold’ is used in the Torah, it is associated with joy. Yosef expressed joy at every stage of the dream, and because of this joy at the events of the dream, the brothers hated him even more. Thus, the clause, “because of his words” does not refer to the actual content of the dream, rather the way in which he told it over to them – with such joy. It still remains unclear why the brothers should hate him for being happy about having success – that would seem to be quite understandable. Rav Sternbuch explains that the brothers perceived that Yosef’s joy was not only because of his own success that was predicted in the dream, rather also the fact that they would not achieve the same success. It was this perceived attitude of joy at their expense that caused them to hate him even more. Rav Sternbuch continues to discuss the Torah approach to this form of joy – joy at the failings of one’s fellow. He writes, “It is a fundamental tenet that when HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives power, wealth, or honor to a person, he should thank HaShem, but if he is only happy because he got it and his fellow did not – this is a forbidden form of joy.”
Whether Yosef really felt this forbidden type of joy is unclear, however, the Netsiv writes that even Yaakov Avinu was susceptible to this challenge: In the episode at the end of Parshas Toldos, Yaakov tricked his father into giving him the blessings. The Netsiv explains that this was a kind of ‘aveiro lishma’- a sin that was done purely for the right reasons, and thus was the correct way to act in these specific circumstances. The Netsiv notes, however, that Yaakov was punished for the pain that his trickery caused Esav; when Esav heard that Yaakov had taken the blessings, he let out a tremendous cry of pain. Chazal say that measure for measure, Yaakov’s descendant, Mordechai, let out a similar kind of cry when Haman, Esav’s descendant, decreed the destruction of the Jewish people. The Netsiv notes that Yitzchak Avinu also endured great pain when he heard that he had been tricked – he trembled greatly when he realized what had happened. Why, then was Yaakov not punished for the pain he caused Yitzchak, whilst he was punished for that which he inflicted on Esav? He answers that Yaakov had absolutely no pleasure at the pain that he caused Yitzchak in deceiving him, therefore he was not punished for the pain that Yitzchak experienced. However, he felt some measure of happiness at Esav’s distress. Accordingly, he was punished for that element of joy he felt at Esav’s loss. Thus, we see, according to the Netsiv, that even Yaakov Avinu, on some slight level, was subject to the feeling of joy at success at the expense of someone else.
Rav Sternbuch’s lesson; that joy at someone else’s expense, lies at the very centre of the Torah attitude to interpersonal relationships. It is well-known that the most fundamental Mitzvo in this realm is that of, “Love your neighbor like yourself”. One of the most basic aspects of this Mitzvo is that one should develop a desire for his fellow man to succeed just as much as he wants that for himself. It seems that an attitude of joy at one’s fellow’s failures represents the antithesis of the essence of the Mitzvo. Indeed, the Rambam seems to express this point in his discussion of this Mitzvo: He ends by saying that a person who feels joy at the failure or degradation of his fellow has no place in the World to Come.
It seems that the secular attitude and the Torah outlook clash greatly in this area. In the secular world, there is a strong emphasis on competition, and the idea of “each man for himself”. Sports, in particular ingrain a desire to “beat” the other person. It is very common for sports fans to be as happy at the defeat of their rival, as they are joyous at their own victory. Moreover, in many areas of life, there is a great stress on succeeding, and this often involves, overcoming or defeating others. The Torah outlook also emphasizes succeeding in life, but the Torah’s definition of success does not include ‘defeating’ other people. In fact, a large aspect of a Torah Jew’s success is his ability to work as a unit with his fellow Jews. This is based on a recognition that all Jews are part of one spiritual entity, and therefore the success of one part of that entity, means success for all the other parts as well. This concept is applied to Jewish law. For example, on joyous occasions, the prayer of Tachanun is omitted. This is not limited to one’s own happy occasions, rather if there is a single person in the Minyan who is celebrating a happy event , then the whole Minyan is exempt from Tachanun – this is because his joy is shared by everyone else present. This is even the case, when the other members of the Minyan do not know the person! This teaches us how we should view such events.
We learn from the explanations of the Meshech Chachma and Rav Sternuch that having joy because of the downfall of one’s fellow, is something worthy of disdain. May we all merit to avoid this attitude, and fulfill the Mitzvo to love our neighbor to the fullest extent.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
STEPPING OUT OF OUR OWN WORLD - VAYEISHEV
VAYEISHEV
Towards the end of the parsha, Yosef Hatzadik finds himself in a hopeless situation, having been in prison for ten years with no prospect of freedom. At that point occurs the incident of the interpretation of the dreams of Pharaoh’s ministers which begins the process of his meteoric rise to the position of Viceroy over the whole of Mitzrayim. There is one easily overlooked passuk which signals the beginning of the drastic upturn in Yosef’s fortunes. After the two ministers dreamt their respective dreams, they were very distressed because they did not know their meaning. At that point, Yosef sees their unhappy countenances; he asks, “Why do you appear downcast today? ” This seemingly inconsequential question leads to the interpretation of the dreams which eventually results in Yosef’s liberation and incredible rise to power. Had Yosef never asked them why they were upset then they would probably never have confided in him and the golden opportunity for freedom would be lost. Yosef’s small act of thoughtfulness may not seem particularly noteworthy, however in truth it is quite remarkable considering his situation at that time: He had been living in appalling conditions for 10 years with no realistic hope of freedom. He had every right to be totally engrossed in his own situation and not notice the facial expressions of those around him. Moreover he was assigned to serve the two ministers who were very important people in Mitzrayim - they surely treated him as an inferior and gave him absolutely no attention. Yet he overcame all these factors and showed concern at their distressed appearance.
There is a great temptation to go through life so absorbed in our own lives that we do not recognize the needs of others. One of the keys to being a genuine baal chesed is to overcome our own self-absorption and notice the world around us. Sometimes, this even requires that we be mevater on our own needs for the sake of others. The most glaring example of this is found earlier in the parsha when Tamar is being taken to be burnt at the stake. She had every opportunity to save her life by revealing that the items in her possession were those of Yehuda. However she gave greater emphasis to the embarrassment that Yehuda would endure if she did so and therefore remained quiet. The Gemara learns from here that a person must give up his life before embarrassing someone else . Rabbeinu Yonah and Tosefos pasken this way lehalacho! This teaches us that there are occasions where we are obligated to give greater precedence to the feelings of others than even our own.
Gedolim epitomized the ability to negate one’s own needs and focus on the needs of others. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l was being taken in a car by a bachur from his yeshiva. As Reb Moshe entered the car the bachur closed the door onto his fingers, yet he remained completely silent as if nothing had happened. A bewildered onlooker asked him why he did not cry out, he answered that the bachur would feel incredible embarrassment about having caused him pain and therefore Reb Moshe controlled himself and kept quiet. This is a well-known story but it deserves thought; Reb Moshe exemplified the ability to ignore his own feelings in order to spare the pain of his fellow Jew.
It is not only in times of pain that we should focus on others. Rav Aharon Kotler zt”l and his son Rav Shneur zt”l went to Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer (Rav Aharon’s father-in-law) to say goodbye shortly before leaving Eretz Yisroel for Rav Shneur’s chasunah. Rav Isser Zalman stopped in the middle of the stairs on the way down rather than escorting them all the way to the street. They asked him about it and he explained, “Many of the people who live around here have grandchildren who were murdered by the Nazis, yemach shemam. How could I go down to the street and embrace my grandchild, flaunting my joy publicly, when these people can’t do the same?! ”
These superhuman demonstrations of selflessness can be an inspiration to us. There are numerous examples where we can overcome our own self-absorption and show an awareness of the needs of those around us. When we are walking own the street we tend to be involved in our own thoughts but it is worthwhile to be aware of the people around us - there may be someone who is carrying a heavy load and would appreciate a helping hand . There are many occasions when we may not be experiencing great joy or pain but we may still tend to focus on our own dalet amos alone. For example, after hagbaah on Shabbos Shacharis the baal hagbaah is left sitting on a chair holding the Sefer Torah with no Chumash to read the Haftara. People are understandably focused on following the Haftara themselves, but it shows great thoughtfulness to hand him a Chumash so he too can follow along. In Torah Vodaas there were occasions where there were not enough chairs in the room so the bachurim had to bring chairs for themselves from another room. Rav Shraga Feivel Mendelowitz zt”l used to say that a boy who brought just one chair for himself was merely a shlepper, but a boy who brought two, one for himself and one for a friend, was a baal chesed .
There are numerous examples of small acts of thoughtfulness that can light up people’s lives. And we learn from Yosef that we can never be certain of the consequences of one act of chesed. The Alter of Slobodka zt”l says that we can also never know how much reward we receive for a small act of chesed. He discusses when Yaakov Avinu removes the stone off the mouth of the well so that everyone could drink the water. This small act of kindness would not seem to rank highly amongst the numerous mitzvos that Yaakov performed throughout his life. However, it is in fact the source of great merit for the Jewish people. Every year we recite a special prayer for rain - Tefillas Geshem. In this tefilla we mention some of the great acts of the Avos such as Yaakov’s overcoming of Esav’s malach. Yet we also mention Yaakov’s removal of the stone: “He [Yaakov] dedicated his heart and tolled a stone from the mouth of a well of water - for his sake do not hold back water.” Every act of chesed done with purity of heart is of immeasurable value. May we all learn from our Avos and be true givers.
Towards the end of the parsha, Yosef Hatzadik finds himself in a hopeless situation, having been in prison for ten years with no prospect of freedom. At that point occurs the incident of the interpretation of the dreams of Pharaoh’s ministers which begins the process of his meteoric rise to the position of Viceroy over the whole of Mitzrayim. There is one easily overlooked passuk which signals the beginning of the drastic upturn in Yosef’s fortunes. After the two ministers dreamt their respective dreams, they were very distressed because they did not know their meaning. At that point, Yosef sees their unhappy countenances; he asks, “Why do you appear downcast today? ” This seemingly inconsequential question leads to the interpretation of the dreams which eventually results in Yosef’s liberation and incredible rise to power. Had Yosef never asked them why they were upset then they would probably never have confided in him and the golden opportunity for freedom would be lost. Yosef’s small act of thoughtfulness may not seem particularly noteworthy, however in truth it is quite remarkable considering his situation at that time: He had been living in appalling conditions for 10 years with no realistic hope of freedom. He had every right to be totally engrossed in his own situation and not notice the facial expressions of those around him. Moreover he was assigned to serve the two ministers who were very important people in Mitzrayim - they surely treated him as an inferior and gave him absolutely no attention. Yet he overcame all these factors and showed concern at their distressed appearance.
There is a great temptation to go through life so absorbed in our own lives that we do not recognize the needs of others. One of the keys to being a genuine baal chesed is to overcome our own self-absorption and notice the world around us. Sometimes, this even requires that we be mevater on our own needs for the sake of others. The most glaring example of this is found earlier in the parsha when Tamar is being taken to be burnt at the stake. She had every opportunity to save her life by revealing that the items in her possession were those of Yehuda. However she gave greater emphasis to the embarrassment that Yehuda would endure if she did so and therefore remained quiet. The Gemara learns from here that a person must give up his life before embarrassing someone else . Rabbeinu Yonah and Tosefos pasken this way lehalacho! This teaches us that there are occasions where we are obligated to give greater precedence to the feelings of others than even our own.
Gedolim epitomized the ability to negate one’s own needs and focus on the needs of others. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l was being taken in a car by a bachur from his yeshiva. As Reb Moshe entered the car the bachur closed the door onto his fingers, yet he remained completely silent as if nothing had happened. A bewildered onlooker asked him why he did not cry out, he answered that the bachur would feel incredible embarrassment about having caused him pain and therefore Reb Moshe controlled himself and kept quiet. This is a well-known story but it deserves thought; Reb Moshe exemplified the ability to ignore his own feelings in order to spare the pain of his fellow Jew.
It is not only in times of pain that we should focus on others. Rav Aharon Kotler zt”l and his son Rav Shneur zt”l went to Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer (Rav Aharon’s father-in-law) to say goodbye shortly before leaving Eretz Yisroel for Rav Shneur’s chasunah. Rav Isser Zalman stopped in the middle of the stairs on the way down rather than escorting them all the way to the street. They asked him about it and he explained, “Many of the people who live around here have grandchildren who were murdered by the Nazis, yemach shemam. How could I go down to the street and embrace my grandchild, flaunting my joy publicly, when these people can’t do the same?! ”
These superhuman demonstrations of selflessness can be an inspiration to us. There are numerous examples where we can overcome our own self-absorption and show an awareness of the needs of those around us. When we are walking own the street we tend to be involved in our own thoughts but it is worthwhile to be aware of the people around us - there may be someone who is carrying a heavy load and would appreciate a helping hand . There are many occasions when we may not be experiencing great joy or pain but we may still tend to focus on our own dalet amos alone. For example, after hagbaah on Shabbos Shacharis the baal hagbaah is left sitting on a chair holding the Sefer Torah with no Chumash to read the Haftara. People are understandably focused on following the Haftara themselves, but it shows great thoughtfulness to hand him a Chumash so he too can follow along. In Torah Vodaas there were occasions where there were not enough chairs in the room so the bachurim had to bring chairs for themselves from another room. Rav Shraga Feivel Mendelowitz zt”l used to say that a boy who brought just one chair for himself was merely a shlepper, but a boy who brought two, one for himself and one for a friend, was a baal chesed .
There are numerous examples of small acts of thoughtfulness that can light up people’s lives. And we learn from Yosef that we can never be certain of the consequences of one act of chesed. The Alter of Slobodka zt”l says that we can also never know how much reward we receive for a small act of chesed. He discusses when Yaakov Avinu removes the stone off the mouth of the well so that everyone could drink the water. This small act of kindness would not seem to rank highly amongst the numerous mitzvos that Yaakov performed throughout his life. However, it is in fact the source of great merit for the Jewish people. Every year we recite a special prayer for rain - Tefillas Geshem. In this tefilla we mention some of the great acts of the Avos such as Yaakov’s overcoming of Esav’s malach. Yet we also mention Yaakov’s removal of the stone: “He [Yaakov] dedicated his heart and tolled a stone from the mouth of a well of water - for his sake do not hold back water.” Every act of chesed done with purity of heart is of immeasurable value. May we all learn from our Avos and be true givers.
YOSEF’S DREAMS - VAYEISHEV
The Parsha begins with an account of the deterioration of the relationship between Yosef and his brothers. Yosef’s two dreams played a very significant part in the increasing resentment of the brothers towards him. Close analysis of the dreams can provide us with more insight into how they caused such a rift amongst the brothers. The Beis HaLevi zt”l notes that the Torah tells us after the first dream that the brothers hated Yosef, whereas after the second dream it does not state that they hated him, rather that they were jealous of him . What is the reason for this difference?
The Beis HaLevi answers this by examining the dreams more carefully. In the first dream Yosef said that he and his brothers were in the field and that their sheaves stood up and bowed down to his sheave; he did not say that the brothers themselves bowed down to him. In contrast in the second dream he compared them to stars and related that they bowed down to him. In this dream the stars represented the brothers and that they themselves bowed directly to Yosef . The
Beis HaLevi explains that the two dreams represented two separate areas in which the brothers would become subservient and inferior to Yosef. The sheaves in the first dream represented Yosef’s future superiority over the brothers in the realm of success in Olam Hazeh. The bowing of their sheaves to his indicated that they would be dependent upon him for their physical sustenance. However, success in the physical realm does not make a person intrinsically superior to others, rather it means that he has more possessions. Accordingly, a wealthy person is not on a higher level than a pauper. Based on this, the Beis HaLevi explains that in the first dream which represented gashmius, the brothers themselves did not show their subservience to Yosef, rather their physical possessions are shown to be inferior to those of their brother. In contrast the second dream refers to Yosef’s future spiritual superiority over the brothers. Spiritual accomplishments do define the intrinsic greatness of a person. Accordingly, in the second dream, which represented ruchnius, the brothers’ themselves bowed to Yosef, indicating his inherent spiritual superiority over them.
With this understanding the Beis HaLevi answers the initial question of why after the first dream the brothers hated Yosef whereas following the second, they were jealous of him. Hatred results when one resents another person’s actions, whereas jealousy arises when one feels inferior to his fellow. The brothers hated Yosef after the first dream because of its implication that they would need him for their sustenance and he would physically rule over them. However they were not jealous of him because the prospect of his greater wealth did not make them feel inferior to him. They saw physical attainment as something external to a person and therefore not worthy of jealousy. In contrast they were jealous of him after the second dream because that implied that he would be spiritually superior to them and this could indeed arouse their jealousy.
There are two very important lessons that can be derived from the Beis HaLevi’s explanation. Firstly, we learn that the material possessions of a person are of no consequence with regard to his true greatness. A wealthy person may be deserving of respect , but one should not envy his wealth because it does not represent a barometer of his real value. Only the spiritual level of a person determines the true greatness of a person and only that is worthy of envy.
The Western world greatly emphasizes the importance of the material possessions of a person. One’s wealth is considered a very significant indication of his ‘greatness’ according to the Western definition. This attitude is so pervasive that even a Torah observant person may find it difficult not to be influenced by the great chashivus that is ascribed to wealth. One possible way of maintaining a correct perspective to material possessions is to look at what defines a great person in the Torah world. Wealth is of no significance in determining who is a ‘Gadol b’Yisroel’, indeed many Gedolim were extremely poor. What is important according to the Torah definition is the intrinsic spiritual greatness that a person attains. Reminding oneself of the qualities of our Gedolim can help us keep an accurate perspective of the insignificance of wealth to one’s true greatness.
A second related lesson from the Beis HaLevi is that a person should be careful not judge his own standing according to his material possessions. This is no easy task given the importance that is attributed to wealth in the Western world. Rav Shlomo Brevda Shlita gives an interesting example of this phenomenon. He quotes a Gadol who pointed out that many people in the Western world are very secretive about anything relating to their financial situation. Why is this the case? He suggests that when something is very important to a person he does not want to reveal it because it is part of his essence; thus if a person’s financial standing is very important to him he is likely to not want to make known aspects of his financial status such as his salary and the value of his home.
Another indication that a person that is very attached to his physical belongings is that he looks at them as part of his very being. For example, a person’s home may be so precious to him that any damage to it is equivalent in his eyes to damage to his own body. Another negative consequence of such an attitude is that a person who is so meshubad to gashmius can become a slave to it to the extent that it dictates his life in a damaging way. This was sadly evident in the years before the Holocaust in Germany. As the situation of the Jewish people in Germany deteriorated many Jews became increasingly aware of the need to escape. However, the wealthier Jews found it very difficult to leave their beautiful homes and possessions. Consequently far more poor Jews left Germany than their wealthy counterparts. Their attachment to their physical possessions proved fatally dangerous .
We learn from the dreams of Yosef that the only true measure of greatness is spiritual accomplishment and not material gain. May we all merit to recognize and achieve genuine greatness.
The Beis HaLevi answers this by examining the dreams more carefully. In the first dream Yosef said that he and his brothers were in the field and that their sheaves stood up and bowed down to his sheave; he did not say that the brothers themselves bowed down to him. In contrast in the second dream he compared them to stars and related that they bowed down to him. In this dream the stars represented the brothers and that they themselves bowed directly to Yosef . The
Beis HaLevi explains that the two dreams represented two separate areas in which the brothers would become subservient and inferior to Yosef. The sheaves in the first dream represented Yosef’s future superiority over the brothers in the realm of success in Olam Hazeh. The bowing of their sheaves to his indicated that they would be dependent upon him for their physical sustenance. However, success in the physical realm does not make a person intrinsically superior to others, rather it means that he has more possessions. Accordingly, a wealthy person is not on a higher level than a pauper. Based on this, the Beis HaLevi explains that in the first dream which represented gashmius, the brothers themselves did not show their subservience to Yosef, rather their physical possessions are shown to be inferior to those of their brother. In contrast the second dream refers to Yosef’s future spiritual superiority over the brothers. Spiritual accomplishments do define the intrinsic greatness of a person. Accordingly, in the second dream, which represented ruchnius, the brothers’ themselves bowed to Yosef, indicating his inherent spiritual superiority over them.
With this understanding the Beis HaLevi answers the initial question of why after the first dream the brothers hated Yosef whereas following the second, they were jealous of him. Hatred results when one resents another person’s actions, whereas jealousy arises when one feels inferior to his fellow. The brothers hated Yosef after the first dream because of its implication that they would need him for their sustenance and he would physically rule over them. However they were not jealous of him because the prospect of his greater wealth did not make them feel inferior to him. They saw physical attainment as something external to a person and therefore not worthy of jealousy. In contrast they were jealous of him after the second dream because that implied that he would be spiritually superior to them and this could indeed arouse their jealousy.
There are two very important lessons that can be derived from the Beis HaLevi’s explanation. Firstly, we learn that the material possessions of a person are of no consequence with regard to his true greatness. A wealthy person may be deserving of respect , but one should not envy his wealth because it does not represent a barometer of his real value. Only the spiritual level of a person determines the true greatness of a person and only that is worthy of envy.
The Western world greatly emphasizes the importance of the material possessions of a person. One’s wealth is considered a very significant indication of his ‘greatness’ according to the Western definition. This attitude is so pervasive that even a Torah observant person may find it difficult not to be influenced by the great chashivus that is ascribed to wealth. One possible way of maintaining a correct perspective to material possessions is to look at what defines a great person in the Torah world. Wealth is of no significance in determining who is a ‘Gadol b’Yisroel’, indeed many Gedolim were extremely poor. What is important according to the Torah definition is the intrinsic spiritual greatness that a person attains. Reminding oneself of the qualities of our Gedolim can help us keep an accurate perspective of the insignificance of wealth to one’s true greatness.
A second related lesson from the Beis HaLevi is that a person should be careful not judge his own standing according to his material possessions. This is no easy task given the importance that is attributed to wealth in the Western world. Rav Shlomo Brevda Shlita gives an interesting example of this phenomenon. He quotes a Gadol who pointed out that many people in the Western world are very secretive about anything relating to their financial situation. Why is this the case? He suggests that when something is very important to a person he does not want to reveal it because it is part of his essence; thus if a person’s financial standing is very important to him he is likely to not want to make known aspects of his financial status such as his salary and the value of his home.
Another indication that a person that is very attached to his physical belongings is that he looks at them as part of his very being. For example, a person’s home may be so precious to him that any damage to it is equivalent in his eyes to damage to his own body. Another negative consequence of such an attitude is that a person who is so meshubad to gashmius can become a slave to it to the extent that it dictates his life in a damaging way. This was sadly evident in the years before the Holocaust in Germany. As the situation of the Jewish people in Germany deteriorated many Jews became increasingly aware of the need to escape. However, the wealthier Jews found it very difficult to leave their beautiful homes and possessions. Consequently far more poor Jews left Germany than their wealthy counterparts. Their attachment to their physical possessions proved fatally dangerous .
We learn from the dreams of Yosef that the only true measure of greatness is spiritual accomplishment and not material gain. May we all merit to recognize and achieve genuine greatness.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
YOSEF’S DREAMS - VAYEISHEV
The Parsha begins with an account of the deterioration of the relationship between Yosef and his brothers. Yosef’s two dreams played a very significant part in the increasing resentment of the brothers towards him. Close analysis of the dreams can provide us with more insight into how they caused such a rift amongst the brothers. The Beis HaLevi zt”l notes that the Torah tells us after the first dream that the brothers hated Yosef, whereas after the second dream it does not state that they hated him, rather that they were jealous of him. What is the reason for this difference?
The Beis HaLevi answers this by examining the dreams more carefully. In the first dream Yosef said that he and his brothers were in the field and that their sheaves stood up and bowed down to his sheave; he did not say that the brothers themselves bowed down to him. In contrast in the second dream he compared them to stars and related that they bowed down to him. In this dream the stars represented the brothers and that they themselves bowed directly to Yosef.
The Beis HaLevi explains that the two dreams represented two separate areas in which the brothers would become subservient and inferior to Yosef. The sheaves in the first dream represented Yosef’s future superiority over the brothers in the realm of success in Olam Hazeh. The bowing of their sheaves to his indicated that they would be dependent upon him for their physical sustenance. However, success in the physical realm does not make a person intrinsically superior to others, rather it means that he has more possessions. Accordingly, a wealthy person is not on a higher level than a pauper. Based on this, the Beis HaLevi explains that in the first dream which represented gashmius, the brothers themselves did not show their subservience to Yosef, rather their physical possessions are shown to be inferior to those of their brother. In contrast the second dream refers to Yosef’s future spiritual superiority over the brothers. Spiritual accomplishments do define the intrinsic greatness of a person. Accordingly, in the second dream, which represented ruchnius, the brothers’ themselves bowed to Yosef, indicating his inherent spiritual superiority over them.
With this understanding the Beis HaLevi answers the initial question of why after the first dream the brothers hated Yosef whereas following the second, they were jealous of him. Hatred results when one resents another person’s actions, whereas jealousy arises when one feels inferior to his fellow. The brothers hated Yosef after the first dream because of its implication that they would need him for their sustenance and he would physically rule over them. However they were not jealous of him because the prospect of his greater wealth did not make them feel inferior to him. They saw physical attainment as something external to a person and therefore not worthy of jealousy. In contrast they were jealous of him after the second dream because that implied that he would be spiritually superior to them and this could indeed arouse their jealousy.
There are two very important lessons that can be derived from the Beis HaLevi’s explanation. Firstly, we learn that the material possessions of a person are of no consequence with regard to his true greatness. A wealthy person may be deserving of respect, but one should not envy his wealth because it does not represent a barometer of his real value. Only the spiritual level of a person determines the true greatness of a person and only that is worthy of envy.
The Western world greatly emphasizes the importance of the material possessions of a person. One’s wealth is considered a very significant indication of his ‘greatness’ according to the Western definition. This attitude is so pervasive that even a Torah observant person may find it difficult not to be influenced by the great chashivus that is ascribed to wealth. One possible way of maintaining a correct perspective to material possessions is to look at what defines a great person in the Torah world. Wealth is of no significance in determining who is a ‘Gadol b’Yisroel’, indeed many Gedolim were extremely poor. What is important according to the Torah definition is the intrinsic spiritual greatness that a person attains. Reminding oneself of the qualities of our Gedolim can help us keep an accurate perspective of the insignificance of wealth to one’s true greatness.
A second related lesson from the Beis HaLevi is that a person should be careful not judge his own standing according to his material possessions. This is no easy task given the importance that is attributed to wealth in the Western world. Rav Shlomo Brevda Shlita gives an interesting example of this phenomenon. He quotes a Gadol who pointed out that many people in the Western world are very secretive about anything relating to their financial situation. Why is this the case? He suggests that when something is very important to a person he does not want to reveal it because it is part of his essence; thus if a person’s financial standing is very important to him he is likely to not want to make known aspects of his financial status such as his salary and the value of his home.
Another indication that a person that is very attached to his physical belongings is that he looks at them as part of his very being. For example, a person’s home may be so precious to him that any damage to it is equivalent in his eyes to damage to his own body. Another negative consequence of such an attitude is that a person who is so meshubad to gashmius can become a slave to it to the extent that it dictates his life in a damaging way. This was sadly evident in the years before the Holocaust in Germany. As the situation of the Jewish people in Germany deteriorated many Jews became increasingly aware of the need to escape. However, the wealthier Jews found it very difficult to leave their beautiful homes and possessions. Consequently far more poor Jews left Germany than their wealthy counterparts. Their attachment to their physical possessions proved fatally dangerous.
We learn from the dreams of Yosef that the only true measure of greatness is spiritual accomplishment and not material gain. May we all merit to recognize and achieve genuine greatness.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
STEPPING OUT OF OUR OWN WORLD - VAYEISHEV
Towards the end of the parsha, Yosef Hatzadik finds himself in a hopeless situation, having been in prison for ten years with no prospect of freedom. At that point occurs the incident of the interpretation of the dreams of Pharaoh’s ministers which begins the process of his meteoric rise to the position of Viceroy over the whole of Mitzrayim. There is one easily overlooked passuk which signals the beginning of the drastic upturn in Yosef’s fortunes. After the two ministers dreamt their respective dreams, they were very distressed because they did not know their meaning. At that point, Yosef sees their unhappy countenances; he asks, “Why do you appear downcast today?” This seemingly inconsequential question leads to the interpretation of the dreams which eventually results in Yosef’s liberation and incredible rise to power. Had Yosef never asked them why they were upset then they would probably never have confided in him and the golden opportunity for freedom would be lost. Yosef’s small act of thoughtfulness may not seem particularly noteworthy, however in truth it is quite remarkable considering his situation at that time: He had been living in appalling conditions for 10 years with no realistic hope of freedom. He had every right to be totally engrossed in his own situation and not notice the facial expressions of those around him. Moreover he was assigned to serve the two ministers who were very important people in Mitzrayim - they surely treated him as an inferior and gave him absolutely no attention. Yet he overcame all these factors and showed concern at their distressed appearance.
There is a great temptation to go through life so absorbed in our own lives that we do not recognize the needs of others. One of the keys to being a genuine baal chesed is to overcome our own self-absorption and notice the world around us. Sometimes, this even requires that we be mevater on our own needs for the sake of others. The most glaring example of this is found earlier in the parsha when Tamar is being taken to be burnt at the stake. She had every opportunity to save her life by revealing that the items in her possession were those of Yehuda. However she gave greater emphasis to the embarrassment that Yehuda would endure if she did so and therefore remained quiet. The Gemara learns from here that a person must give up his life before embarrassing someone else. Rabbeinu Yonah and Tosefos pasken this way lehalacho! This teaches us that there are occasions where we are obligated to give greater precedence to the feelings of others than even our own.
Gedolim epitomized the ability to negate one’s own needs and focus on the needs of others. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l was being taken in a car by a bachur from his yeshiva. As Reb Moshe entered the car the bachur closed the door onto his fingers, yet he remained completely silent as if nothing had happened. A bewildered onlooker asked him why he did not cry out, he answered that the bachur would feel incredible embarrassment about having caused him pain and therefore Reb Moshe controlled himself and kept quiet. This is a well-known story but it deserves thought; Reb Moshe exemplified the ability to ignore his own feelings in order to spare the pain of his fellow Jew.
It is not only in times of pain that we should focus on others. Rav Aharon Kotler zt”l and his son Rav Shneur zt”l went to Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer (Rav Aharon’s father-in-law) to say goodbye shortly before leaving Eretz Yisroel for Rav Shneur’s chasunah. Rav Isser Zalman stopped in the middle of the stairs on the way down rather than escorting them all the way to the street. They asked him about it and he explained, “Many of the people who live around here have grandchildren who were murdered by the Nazis, yemach shemam. How could I go down to the street and embrace my grandchild, flaunting my joy publicly, when these people can’t do the same?!”
These superhuman demonstrations of selflessness can be an inspiration to us. There are numerous examples where we can overcome our own self-absorption and show an awareness of the needs of those around us. When we are walking down the street we tend to be involved in our own thoughts but it is worthwhile to be aware of the people around us - there may be someone who is carrying a heavy load and would appreciate a helping hand. There are many occasions when we may not be experiencing great joy or pain but we may still tend to focus on our own dalet amos alone. For example, after hagbaah on Shabbos Shacharis the baal hagbaah is left sitting on a chair holding the Sefer Torah with no Chumash to read the Haftara. People are understandably focused on following the Haftara themselves, but it shows great thoughtfulness to hand him a Chumash so he too can follow along. In Torah Vodaas there were occasions where there were not enough chairs in the room so the bachurim had to bring chairs for themselves from another room. Rav Shraga Feivel Mendelowitz zt”l used to say that a boy who brought just one chair for himself was merely a shlepper, but a boy who brought two, one for himself and one for a friend, was a baal chesed.
There are numerous examples of small acts of thoughtfulness that can light up people’s lives. And we learn from Yosef that we can never be certain of the consequences of one act of chesed. The Alter of Slobodka zt”l says that we can also never know how much reward we receive for a small act of chesed. He discusses when Yaakov Avinu removes the stone off the mouth of the well so that everyone could drink the water. This small act of kindness would not seem to rank highly amongst the numerous mitzvos that Yaakov performed throughout his life. However, it is in fact the source of great merit for the Jewish people. Every year we recite a special prayer for rain - Tefillas Geshem. In this tefilla we mention some of the great acts of the Avos such as Yaakov’s overcoming of Esav’s malach. Yet we also mention Yaakov’s removal of the stone: “He [Yaakov] dedicated his heart and tolled a stone from the mouth of a well of water - for his sake do not hold back water.” Every act of chesed done with purity of heart is of immeasurable value. May we all learn from our Avos and be true givers.
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