REUNIONS - VAYIGASH

Parshas Vayigash is characterized by a number of dramatic reunions between Yosef and his family. It is instructive to analyze the actions and attitudes of the great people who were involved in these emotional occasions. The most powerful of all the reunions was clearly that of Yosef with his father Yaakov. Yaakov surely felt indescribable joy at seeing his beloved son after twenty two years of separation, having believed that Yosef was no longer alive. What did Yaakov do when he finally saw Yosef? Rashi tells us that he said the Shema. Some commentaries understand that he was fulfilling one of the two daily obligatory recitations of the Shema; they discuss why he chose this point to fulfill his obligation of Shema. However, the Maharal writes that Yaakov was not fulfilling the daily obligation of Shema. Rather he was saying Shema as an expression of his great connection to HaShem at this joyous time. Instead of focusing purely on the joy of seeing his son, he tried to direct all his happiness to love of HaShem. He chose Shema in particular, because this represents an acknowledgement of how everything HaShem does is ultimately for the good. Moreover, it involves kabbalas ol Malchus Shamayim, which means that as a result of one’s recognition of HaShem one totally subjugates himself to HaShem’s will. The most striking fact about Yaakov’s actions is that, even on an occasion of such great natural emotion, he strove to connect all his natural joy to HaShem and emphasize his subjugation to HaShem.
The Torah writes further that Yosef acted very differently in this same reunion. The Torah states: “Yosef harnessed his chariot and went up to meet his father, to Goshen; and he appeared to him, fell on his neck, and he wept on him excessively.” Rashi explains the clause, “and he appeared to him,” to mean that Yosef appeared to Yaakov. The Ramban asks, that these words seem superfluous – once we know that Yosef fell on Yaakov’s neck it is obvious that Yosef appeared to his father. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l explains the significance of the fact that Yosef appeared to Yaakov: He notes that it is evident that Yosef himself felt great joy at the prospect of being reunited with his beloved father after so many years. However, Yosef approached this reunion with only one intent – to provide his father with as much joy as possible in being reunited with his son. Therefore, Yosef made a conscious effort to ‘appear’ or ‘make himself seen’ by his father when they met . He disregarded his own desire to see his father at that moment of reunion, and his single goal was to provide his father with as much joy as possible . We see from this explanation that Yosef had a very different intent from his father in this joyful reunion. Yaakov focused purely on his connection with HaShem at this time, whereas Yosef concentrated on the Mitzvo of kibud av v’eim (honoring one’s parents) to the greatest degree possible. The common denominator between the two was that the intent of both was purely to do what they perceived to be HaShem’s will at this time. This shows a tremendous level of constant awareness of HaShem, and a permanent desire to do his will, even at the height of one’s own natural emotions.
We learn similar lessons in this vein from the earlier reunion in the Parsha between Yosef and Binyomin. The Torah tells us: “Then he [Yosef] fell upon his brother, Binyomin’s neck and wept; and Binyomin wept upon his neck.” Chazal tell us that the two brothers saw through ruach hakodesh future calamaties that would take place in their portions of land in Eretz Yisroel: Yosef cried over the destruction of the two Temples that would be in Binyomin’s portion whilst Binyomin mourned the destruction of the Mishkan of Shiloh that would be in Yosef’s portion.
Rav Aharon Yehuda Leib Shteinman shlita, discusses why they had such a vision at this time in particular. He explains that their thoughts and emotions were constantly directed to spirituality. Thus, despite the great emotion they felt at this time, their concerns were only spiritual. Had they only been focusing on their personal feelings, they would not have merited to receive ruach hakodesh. The fact that they did receive it at this time, demonstrates their lofty thoughts even at the heights of this powerful reunion. This is another example of how tzaddikim approach moments of great joy. There is a further lesson in how the two brothers reacted to their sad vision. It is noteworthy that they did not cry over the future destructions that would take place in their own portions, rather over the loss in the other brother’s portion. This shows, that, even in the midst of receiving ruach hakodesh, the brothers maintained a very high level of selflessness and sensitivity for others.
We have seen the great righteousness of Yaakov, Yosef and Binyomin, in how they conducted themselves at the height of their emotions. This demonstrates their constant sense of connecting to HaShem and doing His will. Whilst their level seems unattainable for us, there are a number of ways in which we can strive to emulate them in our daily lives. Indeed, halacha (Jewish law) dictates that even at times of great joy, we direct our happiness to HaShem. For example, on the occasion of the birth of a child we say the bracha (blessing) of shehechiyanu or hatov vehametiv. Likewise, we say one of these blessings when we acquire a new item that gives us great joy.
We can also emulate the heightened sense of bein adam lechaveiro that Yosef and Binyomin demonstrated at their reunion. Even at a time of great joy, they thought about other people more than themselves. A common example where this can be emulated is when a person is celebrating some kind of happy occasion. At such a time, one can easily become totally absorbed in his own joy and not notice other people. Yet this is an apt time to make the guests and well-wishers feel good by showing them that we are really happy to see them. This gives them a sense of importance and being appreciated. May we all merit to emulate the great personalities in the Torah, by serving HaShem even at times of great emotion.

YOSEF - SECOND IN COMMAND - VAYIGASH

The parsha begins with Yosef revealing himself to his brothers; he informs them that they need not feel guilty for what they had done because Hashem was guiding the course of events that brought them to this incredible situation. “G-d has sent me ahead of you to insure your survival in the land and to sustain you for a great deliverance. “ Yosef’s role was to ensure the physical well-being of the B’nei Yisroel during their stay in Mitzrayim. Later in the parsha the Torah alludes that Yehuda was responsible for ensuring the spiritual well-being of the Bnay Yisroel in Mitzrayim, it was he who preceded his brothers in coming there so that he could set up yeshivas : This division of roles between Yosef and Yehuda established a pattern for Jewish history; Yosef is the facilitator by paving the way in gashmius and Yehuda is the ultimate Melech, leading Klal Yisroel in ruchnius. This relationship is most plainly borne out by the respective roles of Mashiach ben Yosef and Mashiach ben David. Mashiach ben Yosef will fight the wars, destroying our enemies and paving the way for Mashiach ben David to build the 3rd Beis HaMikdash.

One important aspect of Yosef’s role is that it is essentially a secondary one - his job is to facilitate Yehuda’s position of Melech. Indeed, a brief analysis of Yosef’s time in Mitzrayim shows that Yosef was mesugal to a role of ’number two’: He first becomes the head of Potiphar’s household - second to Potiphar; then he rises to a similar position in prison, second to the prison warden. And finally he assumes the role of Viceroy in Mitzrayim, second to Pharaoh. This pattern indicates Yosef’s role as the number two, the facilitator. A person could easily find this role unsatisfactory - playing ’second fiddle’ to someone else could pose a considerable challenge to a person’s midos. A key aspect of Yosef’s greatness is his willingness to accept his role as the facilitator with joy.

Two of Yosef’s most famous descendants were faced with a similar challenge to accept a secondary role but responded to it in drastically contrasting ways: In Parshas Vayechi, Yaakov alludes to these two people; he notes Ephraim’s greatness because of his future descendant, Yehoshua bin Nun. However, he also prophetically sees that one of the most evil Kings of Israel, Yeravam ben Navat, would emerge from Yosef.
Both these men had the potential to follow Yosef’s example of being a prime facilitator but only one succeeded whilst the other failed dismally. Why did they take such divergent paths?

Yehoshua is most famous for being the devoted talmid of Moshe Rabbeinu. There are numerous instances of Yehoshua showing his submission to his Rebbe. The Torah describes him as Moshe’s attendant , and Chazal explain that he would take towels to the bathhouse for him and would rise early every morning and select the largest of the manna and give it to Moshe . In Torah learning he dedicated himself to understanding and emulating his Rebbe to the extent that the Talmud Yerushalmi says that even in matters that he had not heard from Moshe, his own reasoning corresponded with what had been told to Moshe at Sinai . Yehoshua was completely content with his role as second to Moshe, he did not feel as though it belittled his own standing, rather it elevated him to incredible heights.

Indeed the Medrash tells us that it was the merit of Yehoshua’s submission to Moshe that caused him to become the leader of Klal Yisroel: “Hashem told Moshe, Yehoshua constantly served you and accorded you much honor. He came early to your house of assembly to arrange the benches and spread the mats. Since he served you with all his might, he is worthy of serving Israel. ” Yehoshua happily accepted his role as ‘number two’ and consequently attained the ultimate position of leader of Klal Yisroel.

Yosef’s other relative alluded to in Vayechi, Yeravam Ben Navat, also had the opportunity to emulate Yosef and accept a position of facilitator but failed dismally. In Tanach we see that he was initially a great tzaddik and talmid chochom . Hashem decided that the kingdom of Yisroel should be split into two as a punishment for Malchus Beis David, and he sent Achiya HaNavi to grant Yeravam the Northern Kingdom which would consist of the vast majority Klal Yisroel. Moreover Achiya promised him that if he would follow in the ways of the Torah then he would meet with great success. He did however point out that Yeravam’s kingship was only a result of the sins of Malchus Beis David and that ultimately it would return to the descendants of David HaMelech. Yeravam’s role was to be a leader but a temporary one, whose purpose was to be the instrument of punishment for Malchus Beis David. Had he accepted this role then he could have emulated Yosef and Yehoshua and been recorded as one of the great leaders and tzaddikim in Jewish history.

Yeravam, however, was unwilling to accept the position of facilitator or ‘number two’. He desired to be the King in his own right and was not prepared to subjugate himself to anyone. He worried that when the nation would perform the mitzvo of Hakhel in the Beis Hamikdash only the Melech Yisroel would be allowed to sit down but he would have to stand up. When the people would see this they would rebel against him and return to the kingdom of Yehuda . In order to prevent this threat to his power he set up two golden calves in the North and banned anyone from going down to the Beis HaMikdash. Yeravam’s action was the catalyst for the constant Avoda Zara that plagued the Northen Kingdom and he is known as the ultimate machti es harabim .

Even after he began to sin Hashem gave him one last opportunity to do teshuva. The Gemara says that Hashem grabbed Yeravam by his garment and said to him, “’Repent and I, you and the son of Yishi will stroll together in Gan Eden“ Given this incredible opportunity to redeem himself Yeravam asked, ‘Who will be at the head?’ Hashem answered that Ben Yishi would be at the head - when he heard this he refused to do teshuva . Yeravam could not accept being second to anyone, even though he was offered the greatest reward of Gan Eden. His arrogance was the cause of his destruction, he wanted power but instead he is one of the Kings that receives no Olam HaBa .

Yosef Hatzadik was invested with the role of facilitator in Mitzrayim , preparing the way for Yehuda, he accepted his role with joy and was able to reach true greatness. Yehoshua, too, achieved his potential through his willingness to subjugate himself to Moshe Yeravam could not do so and lost his opportunity for distinction. This is a powerful lesson; we should all strive to be as great as possible., however there are times when hashgacha clearly tells us that certain attainments are not best for us. For example, a person may work hard in learning Torah and learn a great deal and yet not attain the teaching position that he would like - what we must realize is that anything beyond the realm of our bechira is in the category of hashgacha - we can strive to be greater but there is not toeles in fighting the hashgacha. Whatever role in life we attain, that is the position through which we can fulfill our tachlis.

YOSEF’S PROOF - VAYIGASH

“They went up from Egypt and came to the land of Canaan to Yaakov their father. And they told him, saying, ‘Yosef is still alive’ and that he is ruler over all the land of Egypt; but his heart rejected it for he did not believe them.” However, when they related to him all the words that Yosef had spoken to them, and he saw the wagons that Yosef had sent to transport him, then the spirit of their father, Yaakov, was lifted.”

When the brothers returned from their momentous reunion with Yosef, they told Yaakov Avinu the astounding news that his beloved son was still alive. However he was not convinced by all their efforts to persuade him and he only accepted the news when they showed him the wagons that Yosef had sent. What was so special about the wagons? Rashi quotes the Medrash Tanchuma that explains that the wagons were a simun of the Mitzva of Egla Arufah which was the final thing that Yaakov and taught Yosef. This simun finally convinced Yaakov that his son was really alive. The Darchei Mussar asks that Yosef could surely have given any number or proofs that he was not an impostor. Why did he choose to give this particular simun? Furthermore, why did this evidence supersede everything that the brothers could say to prove that this was really Yosef?

The Darchei Mussar answers with a fascinating story involving the Vilna Gaon zt”l. There was a woman whose husband had been lost for many years and she was in the status of aguna. Suddenly, a man returned claiming that he was the missing husband. He gave many simunim that seemed to prove beyond reasonable doubt that he was indeed her husband, however, she remained uncertain of his true identity. Unsure what to do, the people involved came to the Vilan Gaon to ask him the course of action. He advised them to bring this man to the shul that the husband had attended, and test him by telling him to sit in his makom kavua. The man did not know where the makom kavua was and admitted that he was not this woman’s husband. Evidently, he had met the husband at some point and found out many private details about him as part of his plan. The Vilna Gaon explained that he realized that it was conceivable that this man had met the true husband and asked him questions about his life that enabled him to convincingly pose as the husband himself. However, if this man was really an impostor who was planning to commit such an evil act of deceit, then it was impossible that he would think to ask the true husband about a davar sheb’kedusha. It was inconceivable that such a rasha would have thoughts of kedusha because they were so distant from his headspace.

With this story, the Darchei Mussar explains why Yosef sent his father a simun of the last piece of Torah that they learnt together. If the Egyptian Viceroy were an impostor of Yosef he would never think to have asked Yosef a matter pertaining to ruchnius. Thus Yosef knew that only something relating to kedusha would convince his father that he was the same Yosef that left so many years earlier. The Darchei Mussar continues further that this simun also served as an excellent proof that Yosef had maintained his high spiritual standing because had he been negatively influenced in Mitzrayim he never would have thought to send a simun relating to Torah.

We learn from this explanation that the things that occupy a person’s thoughts and make up his speech give a very strong indication of his spiritual standing. A person who devotes much of his thinking and conversation to matters of ruchnius shows that his penimius is saturated with kedusha. For example, when the famed Rogatchover Gaon zt”l was about to undergo an operation, one observer noted that he suspected that when the surgeon would cut the Rogatchover’s skin, Torah would come pouring out! He was so full of Torah that it constituted his very essence.

In contrast, a person who devotes much of his conversation to intrinsically meaningless matters gives an indication that his penimius is not saturated with spirituality. A person may diligently learn Torah when he is in the Beis HaMedrash but he should also ask himself what he talks about in his ’spare time’? There is nothing necessarily wrong with discussing the news and business matters to a certain degree but they should surely not constitute the majority of one’s conversation. An important aspect of self-growth is to develop an appreciation of spiritual matters such as Torah and chesed to the extent that they dominate one's thinking and speech. A paradigm of such a level was the Chofetz Chaim zt“l. It is said that he was a very talkative person - what did he talk about? Torah and matters pertaining to the spiritual welfare of Klal Yisroel.

We learn from Yosef’s simunim that that which occupies a person’s minds is a great indication of where his holding - may we all merit to think and speak words of true spiritual depth.

YOSEF - SECOND IN COMMAND - VAYIGASH:

The parsha begins with Yosef revealing himself to his brothers; he informs them that they need not feel guilty for what they had done because Hashem was guiding the course of events that brought them to this incredible situation. “G-d has sent me ahead of you to insure your survival in the land and to sustain you for a great deliverance.“ Yosef’s role was to ensure the physical well-being of the B’nei Yisroel during their stay in Mitzrayim. Later in the parsha the Torah alludes that Yehuda was responsible for ensuring the spiritual well-being of the Bnay Yisroel in Mitzrayim, it was he who preceded his brothers in coming there so that he could set up yeshivas: This division of roles between Yosef and Yehuda established a pattern for Jewish history; Yosef is the facilitator by paving the way in gashmius and Yehuda is the ultimate Melech, leading Klal Yisroel in ruchnius. This relationship is most plainly borne out by the respective roles of Mashiach ben Yosef and Mashiach ben David. Mashiach ben Yosef will fight the wars, destroying our enemies and paving the way for Mashiach ben David to build the 3rd Beis HaMikdash.

One important aspect of Yosef’s role is that it is essentially a secondary one - his job is to facilitate Yehuda’s position of Melech. Indeed, a brief analysis of Yosef’s time in Mitzrayim shows that Yosef was mesugal to a role of ’number two’: He first becomes the head of Potiphar’s household - second to Potiphar; then he rises to a similar position in prison, second to the prison warden. And finally he assumes the role of Viceroy in Mitzrayim, second to Pharaoh. This pattern indicates Yosef’s role as the number two, the facilitator. A person could easily find this role unsatisfactory - playing ’second fiddle’ to someone else could pose a considerable challenge to a person’s midos. A key aspect of Yosef’s greatness is his willingness to accept his role as the facilitator with joy.

Two of Yosef’s most famous descendants were faced with a similar challenge to accept a secondary role but responded to it in drastically contrasting ways: In Parshas Vayechi, Yaakov alludes to these two people; he notes Ephraim’s greatness because of his future descendant, Yehoshua bin Nun. However, he also prophetically sees that one of the most evil Kings of Israel, Yeravam ben Navat, would emerge from Yosef.

Both these men had the potential to follow Yosef’s example of being a prime facilitator but only one succeeded whilst the other failed dismally. Why did they take such divergent paths?
Yehoshua is most famous for being the devoted talmid of Moshe Rabbeinu. There are numerous instances of Yehoshua showing his submission to his Rebbe. The Torah describes him as Moshe’s attendant, and Chazal explain that he would take towels to the bathhouse for him and would rise early every morning and select the largest of the manna and give it to Moshe. In Torah learning he dedicated himself to understanding and emulating his Rebbe to the extent that the Talmud Yerushalmi says that even in matters that he had not heard from Moshe, his own reasoning corresponded with what had been told to Moshe at Sinai. Yehoshua was completely content with his role as second to Moshe, he did not feel as though it belittled his own standing, rather it elevated him to incredible heights.

Indeed the Medrash tells us that it was the merit of Yehoshua’s submission to Moshe that caused him to become the leader of Klal Yisroel: “Hashem told Moshe, Yehoshua constantly served you and accorded you much honor. He came early to your house of assembly to arrange the benches and spread the mats. Since he served you with all his might, he is worthy of serving Israel.” Yehoshua happily accepted his role as ‘number two’ and consequently attained the ultimate position of leader of Klal Yisroel.

Yosef’s other relative alluded to in Vayechi, Yeravam Ben Navat, also had the opportunity to emulate Yosef and accept a position of facilitator but failed dismally. In Tanach we see that he was initially a great tzaddik and talmid chochom. Hashem decided that the kingdom of Yisroel should be split into two as a punishment for Malchus Beis David, and he sent Achiya HaNavi to grant Yeravam the Northern Kingdom which would consist of the vast majority Klal Yisroel. Moreover Achiya promised him that if he would follow in the ways of the Torah then he would meet with great success. He did however point out that Yeravam’s kingship was only a result of the sins of Malchus Beis David and that ultimately it would return to the descendants of David HaMelech. Yeravam’s role was to be a leader but a temporary one, whose purpose was to be the instrument of punishment for Malchus Beis David. Had he accepted this role then he could have emulated Yosef and Yehoshua and been recorded as one of the great leaders and tzaddikim in Jewish history.

Yeravam, however, was unwilling to accept the position of facilitator or ‘number two’. He desired to be the King in his own right and was not prepared to subjugate himself to anyone. He worried that when the nation would perform the mitzvo of Hakhel in the Beis Hamikdash only the Melech Yisroel would be allowed to sit down but he would have to stand up. When the people would see this they would rebel against him and return to the kingdom of Yehuda. In order to prevent this threat to his power he set up two golden calves in the North and banned anyone from going down to the Beis HaMikdash. Yeravam’s action was the catalyst for the constant Avoda Zara that plagued the Northen Kingdom and he is known as the ultimate machti es harabim.

Even after he began to sin Hashem gave him one last opportunity to do teshuva. The Gemara says that Hashem grabbed Yeravam by his garment and said to him, “’Repent and I, you and the son of Yishi will stroll together in Gan Eden“ Given this incredible opportunity to redeem himself Yeravam asked, ‘Who will be at the head?’ Hashem answered that Ben Yishi would be at the head - when he heard this he refused to do teshuva. Yeravam could not accept being second to anyone, even though he was offered the greatest reward of Gan Eden. His arrogance was the cause of his destruction, he wanted power but instead he is one of the Kings that receives no Olam HaBa.

Yosef Hatzadik was invested with the role of facilitator in Mitzrayim , preparing the way for Yehuda, he accepted his role with joy and was able to reach true greatness. Yehoshua, too, achieved his potential through his willingness to subjugate himself to Moshe Yeravam could not do so and lost his opportunity for distinction. This is a powerful lesson; we should all strive to be as great as possible., however there are times when hashgacha clearly tells us that certain attainments are not best for us. For example, a person may work hard in learning Torah and learn a great deal and yet not attain the teaching position that he would like - what we must realize is that anything beyond the realm of our bechira is in the category of hashgacha - we can strive to be greater but there is not toeles in fighting the hashgacha. Whatever role in life we attain, that is the position through which we can fulfill our tachlis.