"Do not take revenge; do not bear a grudge; love your neighbor like yourself."
The Mitzvo of 'love your neighbor like yourself' is described by Rebbe Akiva as being a great principle in the Torah. Similarly, when a prospective convert asked Hillel HaZaken to sum up the Torah 'on one foot' he answered him with this Mitzvo, adding that the rest of the Torah is an explanation of it. The Ben Ish Chai writes that, given it's centrality to the Torah, a very significant part of this Mitzvo is overlooked by many people. He writes that whilst many people recognize how it requires a person to help his fellow in terms of his physical well-being, they are less aware that it also obliges him to help his fellow's spiritual health. Indeed he argues that helping his friend in the spiritual realm (ruchnius) is a far greater fulfillment of the Mitzvo than benefiting him in the physicalrealm(gashmius).
He explains: "When one helps his friend in a physical sense, he expresses his care for his friend's body, however, man's body merely consists of a combination of blood and flesh! The main aspect of a person is his G-dly aspect, his soul, and the soul gets no benefit from kindness in the physical sense. However, if one rebukes his fellow and prevents him from transgressing Hashem's Mitzvos, then he bestows a great kindness on his friend's soul, and love for one's fellow's spiritual side is far more important than love of his physical being." The Ben Ish Chai teaches that in order to most effectively fulfill the Mitvzo to love one's neighbor he cannot limit his kindness to the help in gashmius, rather he must strive to help his ruchnius to an even greater degree.
In this vein, the Orchos Tzadikim tells us that there are three main types of giving: Giving of one’s money; giving of one’s body and giving of one’s wisdom. He goes on to discuss all three but he ends the chapter focusing on the giving over of Torah to others: “One must be especially giving with his Torah wisdom; to teach all men knowledge and to draw their hearts to heaven. This is the greatest of all the types of giving - giving to another to bring him to the life of the World-to-Come.” Similarly the Meiri in Pirkei Avos states; “there is no kindness in the world that compares to the one who gives merit to the many.” Likewise, Rav Aharon Kotler writes: “The main kindness one can do for others is to give over to them Torah and Mitzvos and to distant them from the evil inclination. This is the greatest kindness in the world that one can do for another…”
There are a number of ways of helping others in the spiritual realm. The Ben Ish Chai mentioned the greatness of rebuking others, however, in this generation, it is very difficult to rebuke in the correct way and therefore there is the risk that rebuking can do more harm than good. A less threatening way of helping others spiritually is by sharing one's Torah with them; Indeed there are many sources in Chazal that indicate that teaching Torah is a fundamental part of each person's purpose in life: The Gemara in Rosh Hashana 23b says that one who learns and does not teach is like a myrtle tree in the desert. The Maharal explains that the myrtle is the most pleasant smelling tree and it is in the world for people to benefit from its pleasant smell. A myrtle that is in the desert does not fulfill its purpose because no-one can benefit from it. So too, Torah is there to be taught over to others and one who does not do so cannot fulfill his purpose in life. He writes: “The main aspect of the Torah is wisdom that by its very nature is there to teach others and if it is not taught over then it is a waste, because the essence of wisdom is to be given over to everyone.”
Similarly, the Mishna in Pirkei Avos states: “If you have learnt much Torah, ‘al tachzik tova’ to yourself, because that is why you were created.” The simple understanding of this Mishna is that a person should not be proud of his achievements in Talmud Torah because learning Torah is his purpose in life. However, many commentaries suggest a different explanation. They explain the Mishna to mean that if a person has learnt much Torah he should not keep its goodness for himself, rather he should teach it to others - why? Because his purpose in creation is to learn and teach.”
We have seen how giving over Torah is such a central aspect of the Mitzvo of 'love your neighbor'. Accordingly, Rav Wolbe zt”l believed that this message should be inculcated in our children from a young age. He said; “I think that we must teach this to youngsters already from the time that they enter into Yeshiva Katana. Immediately in the first year, we must say to them that they are intrinsically connected to Klal Yisroel, and that they are obligated to give over to Klal Yisroel all of the Torah that they will learn in Yeshiva Katana and Gedola. This is their job - not just to think about themselves. One must know that he must give over his Torah to Klal Yisroel.” Rav Wolbe is teaching us that even a person who is in a period of life where he predominantly focuses on his own learning must recognize that his ultimate intentions must be to share his learning with his fellow Jew. Why must this lesson be inculcated in our children from such a young age? Because if it is not, then one will accustom himself to being selfish, not just in this gashmius, but even in his ruchnius. The mida of selfishness is very hard to uproot, therefore Rav Wolbe insists that we implant an attitude of chesed in our children from a young age. However, this is clearly not just a lesson that we must teach our children through words, it is one that must be taught through example; we must develop our own trait of kindness and apply it to our own lives - if we begin to do this then we can fulfill the Mitzvo of 'love your neighbor' properly and strive to fulfill our purpose in life.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
KEDOSHIM - UNDERSTANDING THE TRUE MEANING OF CHESSED - KEDOSHIM
In the latter part of the Parsha the Torah enumerates the various forbidden relationships and their punishments. Towards the end of this list the Torah states: “A man who takes his sister, the daughter of his father, or the daughter of his mother, and sees her nakedness, it is a chesed and they shall be cut off in the sight of the members of their people; he will have uncovered the nakedness of his sister, he shall bear his iniquity.” There is a glaring problem with this passuk - the description of an incestuous relationship as being a ‘chesed’. Chesed is normally translated as kindness - what kindness is involved in arayos?!
In order to answer this question it is necessary to alter our understanding of what ‘chesed’ actually entails. It seems that chesed is more appropriately understood as a mida that is characterized by overflowing and lack of boundaries. One significant outgrowth of this is kindness in that chesed causes a person to want to unabashedly share with others, breaking his boundaries of selfishness. However, that is just one manifestation of chesed, and like all midos, chesed has negative, as well as positive, apects. One negative manifestation is that a person can lose his appreciation of a proper sense of boundaries. Arayos involves ignoring the Torah’s assertion that certain relationships break the appropriate boundaries. Consequently, the Torah describes arayos as chesed;
Two prominent characters in the Torah represent negative aspects of the mida of chesed; Yishmael and Lot. Chazal tell us that Yishmael was deeply involved in arayos and thievery. Both of these emanated from his distorted chesed which broke the acceptable boundaries. An attitude of ‘what is mine is yours and yours is mine’ causes a person to believe that he has the right to infringe on other people’s wives and material possessions. Lot grew up in Avraham Avinu’s home and therefore became habituated to doing chesed with others, as is demonstrated by his great hachanasos orchim in Sodom. However, Lot clearly developed a warped sense of chesed. For example, when the people of Sodom threatened to abuse his guests he preferred to offer them his own daughters! He wanted to do chesed with his guests at the expense of his own daughters.
Why did Yishmael and Lot so badly misapply the mida of chesed? The answer is that their chesed was not acquired through avodas hamidos based on the Torah‘s guidelines, rather it came as a result of genetics and upbringing. Even a generally positive mida such as chesed has undesirable offshoots if it is not applied in the correct way. For example, a person with a natural inclination to chesed may do kindness in the wrong way or quantity. He may be overflowing with chesed to friends, but forget about sufficiently caring for his own family. Another example is that a ‘chesed’ person may have a difficulty with making appropriate boundaries for himself in various aspects of life; he may find it hard to be punctual or reliable because he finds it difficult to set limits on his time. Further if a person does not have well-defined boundaries then he may have a nisayon of avoiding sheker because honesty requires the ability to adhere to the boundaries of truth.
The epitome of the correct balance of chesed is Avraham Avinu. He certainly had a natural propensity for chesed, however he did not merely allow his natural inclinations lead him blindly, rather he harnessed and even negated his chesed when necessary. On many occasions throughout the Torah, Avraham was placed in situations where he was forced to curtail his chesed. Avraham succeeded in these difficult nisyonos, thereby showing that his chesed was not directed by natural inclinations but by Yiras Hashem and Avodas HaMidos.
Another common failing of a person naturally endowed with doing chesed is that he expects people that he helps to be equally giving to him. Consequently he may not hesitate to request that others do significant favors for him because he would do the same for them. However, whilst demanding that we give in great abundance, the Torah requires that we strive not to rely on the kindness of others. This is demonstrated in Shlomo HaMelech’s assertion that “one who hates gifts will live.” Our Gedolim were overflowing with chesed and yet they often refused to take anything from anyone else. A striking example of this is the Brisker Rav. When he was the Rav of Brisk, there were a number of children whose father’s identities were unknown and whose mother were unable to raise them. No one wanted to assume the tremendous responsibility of caring for these children. What did the poor mothers do? They would come in the middle of the night and place their children on the Brisker Rav’s doorstep. When morning came and the Rav found a crying child outside his door, he brought him inside. He took upon himself the task of finding someone to take care of the child. If he was unsuccessful, then he himself took care of all the child’s needs.
Whilst he was overflowing in helping others the Brisker Rav was extremely careful never to accept gifts of any kind, even under the most difficult of circumstances. When he first arrived in Palestine in 1941, along with the Mirrer Rosh Yeshivah, Rav Eliezer Yehuda Finkel, they were detained in the passport control offices. The delegation awaiting the two Gedolim was told that they did not have the money with which to pay the poll tax of one-half to a full-lira (approximately 80 shekels) and it was forbidden to allow entry to anyone who had not paid. One of the heads of the Jewish Agency offered to pay the tax for the Brisker Rav, but he staunchly refused, saying, “Never in my life did I take money from anyone.” After much deliberation, an old resident of Brisk had an idea - he entered the office and approached the Brisker Rav, “The members of the Brisker Community who have come to Eretz Yisroel want the Rav to continue serving as our Rav. We will pay the Rav a salary just as we did in Brisk. Therefore, I want to either give or lend the Rav the money to pay the tax, which will then be deducted from his salary.” “That’s an offer I can accept,” agreed the Brisker Rav and he accepted the money. The Brisker Rav may or may not have been naturally endowed with the mida of chesed. Regardless of his natural inclinations he excelled in the correct form of chesed and simultaneously avoided its negative aspects.
We have seen that chesed does not simply mean kindness, rather it represents the propensity for overflowing and lack of boundaries, and this can be utilized for the good or bad. Moreover, there is a striking difference between a person who has the mida of chesed through genetics or habit, as opposed to someone who develops his chesed within the lens of the Torah. May we all use the mida of chesed only for the good.
In order to answer this question it is necessary to alter our understanding of what ‘chesed’ actually entails. It seems that chesed is more appropriately understood as a mida that is characterized by overflowing and lack of boundaries. One significant outgrowth of this is kindness in that chesed causes a person to want to unabashedly share with others, breaking his boundaries of selfishness. However, that is just one manifestation of chesed, and like all midos, chesed has negative, as well as positive, apects. One negative manifestation is that a person can lose his appreciation of a proper sense of boundaries. Arayos involves ignoring the Torah’s assertion that certain relationships break the appropriate boundaries. Consequently, the Torah describes arayos as chesed;
Two prominent characters in the Torah represent negative aspects of the mida of chesed; Yishmael and Lot. Chazal tell us that Yishmael was deeply involved in arayos and thievery. Both of these emanated from his distorted chesed which broke the acceptable boundaries. An attitude of ‘what is mine is yours and yours is mine’ causes a person to believe that he has the right to infringe on other people’s wives and material possessions. Lot grew up in Avraham Avinu’s home and therefore became habituated to doing chesed with others, as is demonstrated by his great hachanasos orchim in Sodom. However, Lot clearly developed a warped sense of chesed. For example, when the people of Sodom threatened to abuse his guests he preferred to offer them his own daughters! He wanted to do chesed with his guests at the expense of his own daughters.
Why did Yishmael and Lot so badly misapply the mida of chesed? The answer is that their chesed was not acquired through avodas hamidos based on the Torah‘s guidelines, rather it came as a result of genetics and upbringing. Even a generally positive mida such as chesed has undesirable offshoots if it is not applied in the correct way. For example, a person with a natural inclination to chesed may do kindness in the wrong way or quantity. He may be overflowing with chesed to friends, but forget about sufficiently caring for his own family. Another example is that a ‘chesed’ person may have a difficulty with making appropriate boundaries for himself in various aspects of life; he may find it hard to be punctual or reliable because he finds it difficult to set limits on his time. Further if a person does not have well-defined boundaries then he may have a nisayon of avoiding sheker because honesty requires the ability to adhere to the boundaries of truth.
The epitome of the correct balance of chesed is Avraham Avinu. He certainly had a natural propensity for chesed, however he did not merely allow his natural inclinations lead him blindly, rather he harnessed and even negated his chesed when necessary. On many occasions throughout the Torah, Avraham was placed in situations where he was forced to curtail his chesed. Avraham succeeded in these difficult nisyonos, thereby showing that his chesed was not directed by natural inclinations but by Yiras Hashem and Avodas HaMidos.
Another common failing of a person naturally endowed with doing chesed is that he expects people that he helps to be equally giving to him. Consequently he may not hesitate to request that others do significant favors for him because he would do the same for them. However, whilst demanding that we give in great abundance, the Torah requires that we strive not to rely on the kindness of others. This is demonstrated in Shlomo HaMelech’s assertion that “one who hates gifts will live.” Our Gedolim were overflowing with chesed and yet they often refused to take anything from anyone else. A striking example of this is the Brisker Rav. When he was the Rav of Brisk, there were a number of children whose father’s identities were unknown and whose mother were unable to raise them. No one wanted to assume the tremendous responsibility of caring for these children. What did the poor mothers do? They would come in the middle of the night and place their children on the Brisker Rav’s doorstep. When morning came and the Rav found a crying child outside his door, he brought him inside. He took upon himself the task of finding someone to take care of the child. If he was unsuccessful, then he himself took care of all the child’s needs.
Whilst he was overflowing in helping others the Brisker Rav was extremely careful never to accept gifts of any kind, even under the most difficult of circumstances. When he first arrived in Palestine in 1941, along with the Mirrer Rosh Yeshivah, Rav Eliezer Yehuda Finkel, they were detained in the passport control offices. The delegation awaiting the two Gedolim was told that they did not have the money with which to pay the poll tax of one-half to a full-lira (approximately 80 shekels) and it was forbidden to allow entry to anyone who had not paid. One of the heads of the Jewish Agency offered to pay the tax for the Brisker Rav, but he staunchly refused, saying, “Never in my life did I take money from anyone.” After much deliberation, an old resident of Brisk had an idea - he entered the office and approached the Brisker Rav, “The members of the Brisker Community who have come to Eretz Yisroel want the Rav to continue serving as our Rav. We will pay the Rav a salary just as we did in Brisk. Therefore, I want to either give or lend the Rav the money to pay the tax, which will then be deducted from his salary.” “That’s an offer I can accept,” agreed the Brisker Rav and he accepted the money. The Brisker Rav may or may not have been naturally endowed with the mida of chesed. Regardless of his natural inclinations he excelled in the correct form of chesed and simultaneously avoided its negative aspects.
We have seen that chesed does not simply mean kindness, rather it represents the propensity for overflowing and lack of boundaries, and this can be utilized for the good or bad. Moreover, there is a striking difference between a person who has the mida of chesed through genetics or habit, as opposed to someone who develops his chesed within the lens of the Torah. May we all use the mida of chesed only for the good.
THE CHALLENGES AND OPPORTUNITIES OF LIVING IN SECULAR SOCIETY - KEDOSHIM
Before detailing the list of forbidden relationships the Torah instructs us: “Do not perform the practices of the land of Egypt in which you dwelled; and do not perform the practices of the land of Canaan to which I bring you..” Rashi writes that Mitzrayim and Canaan were the most morally decadent nations and in particular those parts in which the Jews dwelled were the worst sections of these countries. Why did Hashem deliberately place the Jewish people in the most corrupt places on Earth?
Rav Dessler zt”l answers this question in an essay in which he discusses how one should react to negative surroundings. He observes that negative society can have a very detrimental effect on a person. However, if he is strong enough so that the negative influences do not effect him, then, it can actually strengthen him in his Avoda. How is this so? Rav Dessler explains that when he sees the surrounding evil it becomes more disgusting in his eyes because he attains a greater recognition of its chesronos, this enables him to strengthen himself even further in his appreciation of good. Based on this understanding of human nature, Rav Dessler makes a historical observation that can explain why Hashem deliberately placed the Jewish people in the most degenerate places on Earth.
“Every time where there was a necessity for a tzaddik to rise to an extremely high level the tzaddik was flung into the most lowly and degenerate environments so that he could learn from them the lowliness of evil and strengthen himself in good to the opposite extreme.”
Hashem deliberately placed the Jewish people in Mitzrayim so that they could develop an intense hatred of its tuma which, he writes, was indeed their motivation for crying out to Hashem to free them from this terrible place. This intense disgust enabled them to rapidly rise from being on the 49th level of tuma to reaching the level of being able to receive the Torah. Had they found themselves in a less immoral environment then they would not have been able to rise to such a high level.
This too would seem to explain why the Jewish people had to go to a similarly abhorrent land. Seeing the highly immoral behavior of the Canaanite nations was intended to intensify their disgust at evil and in turn, heighten their appreciation of Torah morality.
Rav Dessler uses this yesod to help understand another passage discussed in the parsha - the Seir l’Azazel. On the most holy day of the year, Yom Kippur, Hashem commands us to take a goat through the desert and throw it off a cliff. What is the significance of leading the goat through the desert? Rav Dessler explains that the desert is the makom where people sacrifice goats to sheidim. By leading the goat through this tamei place and being exposed to its tuma on Yom Kippur, the people become further strengthened in Avodas Hashem.
Rav Dessler’s yesod also helps us understand some inyanim relating to Pesach. We begin the Haggadah discussing our ancestors who worshipped idols. Rav Dessler asks, how is this connected to the story of leaving Mitzrayim? He answers that through being surrounded by such negativity, Avraham Avinu rose to such a high level of kedusha to the extent that its power would never be nullified. The geula from Mitzrayim sprouted directly from this kedusha.. Therefore, we talk about our idol-worshipping ancestors to highlight that it was directly as a result of their tuma that Avraham emerged to reach such an incredibly high level and it was his greatness in turn that planted the seeds for yetsias Mitzrayim.
We can now gain a deeper understanding of why the Haggaddah goes to considerable length to discuss the negative influences that include our idol-worshipping ancestors, the Mitzrim and Lavan. Perhaps this is intended to arouse our disgust at such immoral people and in turn, heighten our appreciation of Hashem for freeing us from them and giving us the Torah.
In today’s world, the nisayon of secular influences is unavoidable. Even if we live in observant neighborhoods, the myriad negative influences bombard us daily. It is of course highly advisable to strive to reduce their influence as much as possible but nonetheless it is impossible to completely eliminate any exposure to them. Rav Dessler’s yesod can help us deal with these influences and perhaps even use them for the good. By observing the obvious chesronos of the secular world we can enhance our appreciation for the beauty of the Torah lifestyle. May we all merit to protect ourselves from negative influences and instead to use them to grow closer to Hashem.
Rav Dessler zt”l answers this question in an essay in which he discusses how one should react to negative surroundings. He observes that negative society can have a very detrimental effect on a person. However, if he is strong enough so that the negative influences do not effect him, then, it can actually strengthen him in his Avoda. How is this so? Rav Dessler explains that when he sees the surrounding evil it becomes more disgusting in his eyes because he attains a greater recognition of its chesronos, this enables him to strengthen himself even further in his appreciation of good. Based on this understanding of human nature, Rav Dessler makes a historical observation that can explain why Hashem deliberately placed the Jewish people in the most degenerate places on Earth.
“Every time where there was a necessity for a tzaddik to rise to an extremely high level the tzaddik was flung into the most lowly and degenerate environments so that he could learn from them the lowliness of evil and strengthen himself in good to the opposite extreme.”
Hashem deliberately placed the Jewish people in Mitzrayim so that they could develop an intense hatred of its tuma which, he writes, was indeed their motivation for crying out to Hashem to free them from this terrible place. This intense disgust enabled them to rapidly rise from being on the 49th level of tuma to reaching the level of being able to receive the Torah. Had they found themselves in a less immoral environment then they would not have been able to rise to such a high level.
This too would seem to explain why the Jewish people had to go to a similarly abhorrent land. Seeing the highly immoral behavior of the Canaanite nations was intended to intensify their disgust at evil and in turn, heighten their appreciation of Torah morality.
Rav Dessler uses this yesod to help understand another passage discussed in the parsha - the Seir l’Azazel. On the most holy day of the year, Yom Kippur, Hashem commands us to take a goat through the desert and throw it off a cliff. What is the significance of leading the goat through the desert? Rav Dessler explains that the desert is the makom where people sacrifice goats to sheidim. By leading the goat through this tamei place and being exposed to its tuma on Yom Kippur, the people become further strengthened in Avodas Hashem.
Rav Dessler’s yesod also helps us understand some inyanim relating to Pesach. We begin the Haggadah discussing our ancestors who worshipped idols. Rav Dessler asks, how is this connected to the story of leaving Mitzrayim? He answers that through being surrounded by such negativity, Avraham Avinu rose to such a high level of kedusha to the extent that its power would never be nullified. The geula from Mitzrayim sprouted directly from this kedusha.. Therefore, we talk about our idol-worshipping ancestors to highlight that it was directly as a result of their tuma that Avraham emerged to reach such an incredibly high level and it was his greatness in turn that planted the seeds for yetsias Mitzrayim.
We can now gain a deeper understanding of why the Haggaddah goes to considerable length to discuss the negative influences that include our idol-worshipping ancestors, the Mitzrim and Lavan. Perhaps this is intended to arouse our disgust at such immoral people and in turn, heighten our appreciation of Hashem for freeing us from them and giving us the Torah.
In today’s world, the nisayon of secular influences is unavoidable. Even if we live in observant neighborhoods, the myriad negative influences bombard us daily. It is of course highly advisable to strive to reduce their influence as much as possible but nonetheless it is impossible to completely eliminate any exposure to them. Rav Dessler’s yesod can help us deal with these influences and perhaps even use them for the good. By observing the obvious chesronos of the secular world we can enhance our appreciation for the beauty of the Torah lifestyle. May we all merit to protect ourselves from negative influences and instead to use them to grow closer to Hashem.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
NEW START - METSORA
Parshas Metsora outlines the purification process for a person struck by tzoraas. One of the essential stages of this process is tevila in a mikva. The Sefer HaChinuch suggests a reason for the significance of tevila as a key part in the teshuva process which the metsora is undergoing. He explains that the world was full of water before man was created and therefore symbolizes a return to the beginning of creation. Dipping into water is a gesture of leaving behind past aveiros and starting afresh.
When a person sins and then recognizes his failure, there is a natural tendency to feel guilt-ridden and low. This can be directed in a positive way, motivating him to avoid such sin in the future, however, often it has a very undesirable effect, causing the person to fall into a downward spiral of spiritual failing. When a person feels low about what he has done, he may become disconcerted and lose the strength to continue in his Avodas Hashem as before. In this way the ’fall-out’ from a sin can actually be far more damaging than the sin itself. Toivelling in a mikva after a sin symbolizes that the person is saying that he will not be bound by his past errors and will not let them bring him down further.
Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l notes many examples in Tanach where a person sinned or failed in one area and as a result, suffered a great yerida that destroyed their spiritual standing. A striking case is that of Orpah, the daughter-in-law of Naomi. When Naomi was returning to Eretz Yisroel, both Ruth and Orpah were determined to stay with her and convert to Judaism. At this point, Orpah was on the same lofty level as the great Ruth., equally willing to leave her homeland to join the Jewish people. However, after Naomi’s supplications for them to return, she could not withstand the test and gave in and went back to Moav. It would seem logical that after this single lapse Orpah would still stand on a high spiritual level, just a little lower than that of Ruth. However, Chazal tell us that on the very night when she left Naomi, she sunk to the lowest levels of depravity. How could it be that she fell in such a dramatic way in one night? Rav Shmuelevitz explains that when she saw that she failed in the great nisayon to join the Jewish people, she could not leave her sin behind and start afresh. She was greatly effected by her inability to stand up to challenges, and consequently lost all sense of balance and fell to the powers of the yester hara.
Rav Shmuelevitz cites another maaseh in Tanach in which a great man failed a nisayon and recognized the danger he was in of falling into the trap of being completely ensnared by the yetser hara. Shmuel HaNavi instructed Shaul HaMelech to destroy all of Amalek, however Shaul left some animals and the Amalekite King Agag alive. Shmuel confronted him and told him that he had forfeited his right to the kingdom with this aveiro. After failing to exonerate himself Shaul admitted his guilt but then made a very strange request of Shmuel. “Please now honor me in front of the Sages of my people and the people of Israel...” What was the purpose of this request, it was surely not merely an attempt by Shaul to feel better about himself. Moreover, Shmuel acceded to the request, indicating its validity. Rav Shmuelevitz explains that Shaul did not merely want honor, rather he knew that he was in danger of suffering a great fall and he realized that he needed to strengthen himself immediately so that he would not be adversely effected by his sin. Therefore, amidst this great fall in madreigo he asked Shmuel to honor him and thereby help him maintain his sense of equilibrium and start afresh. It seems that Shmuel, despite his displeasure with Shaul, consented to his request because he recognized its importance.
We also learn from the actions of Shaul an aitso of how to prevent failure having a disastrous effect. When a person fails, he is likely to feel bad about himself and lose his sense of self-respect. When a person feels that he is a failure he may give up and let himself fall badly. In order to avoid this he must maintain his self-image after failure and recognize that even though he made a mistake he can do teshuva and start again.
Shlomo HaMelech makes this very point in Mishlei when he writes: “A tzadik falls seven times but he gets up.” The Malbim and Metsudos David explain that despite a tzaddik’s setbacks he rises up again. Indeed, a big part of what makes a person a tzaddik is his ability to recover from failure or mistakes. The tevila of the metsora teaches us the same lesson - even though he sinned he need not be doomed to perpetual downfall. If he can put his past behind him he can make a fresh start.
When a person sins and then recognizes his failure, there is a natural tendency to feel guilt-ridden and low. This can be directed in a positive way, motivating him to avoid such sin in the future, however, often it has a very undesirable effect, causing the person to fall into a downward spiral of spiritual failing. When a person feels low about what he has done, he may become disconcerted and lose the strength to continue in his Avodas Hashem as before. In this way the ’fall-out’ from a sin can actually be far more damaging than the sin itself. Toivelling in a mikva after a sin symbolizes that the person is saying that he will not be bound by his past errors and will not let them bring him down further.
Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l notes many examples in Tanach where a person sinned or failed in one area and as a result, suffered a great yerida that destroyed their spiritual standing. A striking case is that of Orpah, the daughter-in-law of Naomi. When Naomi was returning to Eretz Yisroel, both Ruth and Orpah were determined to stay with her and convert to Judaism. At this point, Orpah was on the same lofty level as the great Ruth., equally willing to leave her homeland to join the Jewish people. However, after Naomi’s supplications for them to return, she could not withstand the test and gave in and went back to Moav. It would seem logical that after this single lapse Orpah would still stand on a high spiritual level, just a little lower than that of Ruth. However, Chazal tell us that on the very night when she left Naomi, she sunk to the lowest levels of depravity. How could it be that she fell in such a dramatic way in one night? Rav Shmuelevitz explains that when she saw that she failed in the great nisayon to join the Jewish people, she could not leave her sin behind and start afresh. She was greatly effected by her inability to stand up to challenges, and consequently lost all sense of balance and fell to the powers of the yester hara.
Rav Shmuelevitz cites another maaseh in Tanach in which a great man failed a nisayon and recognized the danger he was in of falling into the trap of being completely ensnared by the yetser hara. Shmuel HaNavi instructed Shaul HaMelech to destroy all of Amalek, however Shaul left some animals and the Amalekite King Agag alive. Shmuel confronted him and told him that he had forfeited his right to the kingdom with this aveiro. After failing to exonerate himself Shaul admitted his guilt but then made a very strange request of Shmuel. “Please now honor me in front of the Sages of my people and the people of Israel...” What was the purpose of this request, it was surely not merely an attempt by Shaul to feel better about himself. Moreover, Shmuel acceded to the request, indicating its validity. Rav Shmuelevitz explains that Shaul did not merely want honor, rather he knew that he was in danger of suffering a great fall and he realized that he needed to strengthen himself immediately so that he would not be adversely effected by his sin. Therefore, amidst this great fall in madreigo he asked Shmuel to honor him and thereby help him maintain his sense of equilibrium and start afresh. It seems that Shmuel, despite his displeasure with Shaul, consented to his request because he recognized its importance.
We also learn from the actions of Shaul an aitso of how to prevent failure having a disastrous effect. When a person fails, he is likely to feel bad about himself and lose his sense of self-respect. When a person feels that he is a failure he may give up and let himself fall badly. In order to avoid this he must maintain his self-image after failure and recognize that even though he made a mistake he can do teshuva and start again.
Shlomo HaMelech makes this very point in Mishlei when he writes: “A tzadik falls seven times but he gets up.” The Malbim and Metsudos David explain that despite a tzaddik’s setbacks he rises up again. Indeed, a big part of what makes a person a tzaddik is his ability to recover from failure or mistakes. The tevila of the metsora teaches us the same lesson - even though he sinned he need not be doomed to perpetual downfall. If he can put his past behind him he can make a fresh start.
REACTING TO PAIN - TAZRIA
TAZRIA - REACTING TO YISSURIM By Yehonasan Gefen
Parshas Tazria discusses the various forms of negaim and the process by which a person can be healed. Since the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash the laws of negaim no longer apply. Given this, how is this parsha relevant to our daily lives? The Sefer HaChinuch answers this question: He writes that the tuma of a metsora comes about because of a person's aveiros. The suffering that a person endures is not coincidental - it comes from Hashem. The metsora must go through a wrenching process of seclusion in which he is supposed to reflect on his behaviour and come to a recognition of how he erred. This message is of course highly relevant in every generation. We no longer suffer from negaim but we are afflicted by many other forms of yissurim. Tumas negaim teaches us that we should not ascribe such suffering to coincidence, rather we should see it as Hashem's way of communicating to us.
There is another mitzvo related to negaim which further teaches us to how we should and should not react to yissurim. The Torah tells us that one form of negaim is a nesek. If a person finds a nesek on his body he goes through a process of seclusion and examination by a Kohen. If, after one week of seclusion, the nesek has not spread, then the person must shave the area around the nesek. However, he is strictly forbidden from shaving the hair that is on the nesek. The Sefer HaChinuch explains the significance of this prohibition. "This mitzvo teaches us that every person should accept whatever pain or punishment that Hashem sends to him; he should not kick out against them, and he should not think that he has the ability to nullify them and hide them from people.." The Chinuch teaches us that there are two incorrect ways in which people react to yissurim which are symbolized by shaving off the nesek sent by Hashem. Firstly, a person may "kick out" against Hashem when he suffers, questioning Divine justice. A person may be above blaming Hashem for their pain but may adopt another incorrect approach. He may try to remove the suffering without learning the lessons that it represents. Moreover, a person may be more concerned about what people think and primarily focus on hiding the yissurim, rather than using them as an opportunity to grow. The prohibition of removing the nesek teaches us that we should not ‘put our head in the sand’ when we endure difficulty, rather we should strive to grow through them.
The Mashgiach of Slobodka, Rav Avraham Grodzinski zt”l elaborates on the message of yissurim at length in his sefer Toras Avraham. He writes that the main purpose of prophecy was to communicate to the people how they were erring. Even when, ostensibly they were doing nothing wrong, the prophet would delve deep into their hearts and pinpoint an area in which they were lacking. He asks, in the post-prophecy era how does Hashem communicate to us to tell us what we are doing wrong? He answers that ‘yissurim’ are the replacement for prophecy. When a person is in pain, no matter how small, Hashem is communicating to him in some way that he needs to grow. Thus, yissurim are a tremendous gift - they provide us with an opportunity to mend our ways. The Gemara says that suffering doesn’t just refer to great afflictions, rather even minor difficulties; it gives the example of when a person tries to take out three coins from his pocket and he only picks up two. In this way Hashem is constantly communicating with us through yissurim.
The obvious question that we are faced with is, ‘it was very easy in the time of the Beis HaMikdash when people suffered from afflications such as negaim that arose when specific aveiros such as lashon hara were committed. But nowadays, how can a person know what message Hashem is trying to tell him through the yissurim?” Of course it is impossible to be certain but The Toras Avraham brings a yesod from Chazal that Hashem punishes a person mida ceneged mida for his aveiros. For example, The Mishna in Sotah tells us that Shimshon sinned with his eyes, therefore he was punished that the Plishtim took out his eyes, and Avshalom was arrogant about his beautiful hair, therefore his hair was the cause of his death when it got tangled up amongst the branches of a tree. Therefore it is recommended that a person look for a cause that is somehow connected to the form of suffering. For example if someone experiences pain in his mouth then perhaps he should first assess whether he transgressed in an area connected with speech. There is, ironically a very good example of this idea in relation to Rav Grodszinski’s life himself. He suffered from a noticeable limp and when a shidduch was first proposed to Rav Ber Hirsch Heller’s daughter Chasya, she rejected it because of his limp. Shortly thereafter she fell down the stairs to the cellar, breaking her leg. She concluded that this was a sign not to reject the match because of Rav Grodzinski’s bad leg and they did indeed marry.
However, more important than whether we find the ‘correct’ aveiro or not is that we search for it at all. In the previous example, if the person’s pain in his mouth comes as a result of lying but he works on lashon hara then he has achieved the main tachlis of the yissurim - trying to grow. This is an extremely important point because there is a common trend that when a person experiences suffering he looks for different segulos in order to end the pain. However, this seems to contradict the lesson of the Chinuch that we should not merely strive to nullify our pain. Hashem does not send us yissurim merely so that we can do some kind of segulo (even if it is effective in ending the pain), rather he wants us to grow. This does not necessarily mean that all segulos are negative but one should not forget the tachlis of the yissurim - that Hashem is telling us to grow. The parshas of negaim are indeed highly relevant to all of our lives - they teach us how we can utilize yissurim to become better people. May we all be zocheh to grow from the yissurim Hashem sends us.
Parshas Tazria discusses the various forms of negaim and the process by which a person can be healed. Since the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash the laws of negaim no longer apply. Given this, how is this parsha relevant to our daily lives? The Sefer HaChinuch answers this question: He writes that the tuma of a metsora comes about because of a person's aveiros. The suffering that a person endures is not coincidental - it comes from Hashem. The metsora must go through a wrenching process of seclusion in which he is supposed to reflect on his behaviour and come to a recognition of how he erred. This message is of course highly relevant in every generation. We no longer suffer from negaim but we are afflicted by many other forms of yissurim. Tumas negaim teaches us that we should not ascribe such suffering to coincidence, rather we should see it as Hashem's way of communicating to us.
There is another mitzvo related to negaim which further teaches us to how we should and should not react to yissurim. The Torah tells us that one form of negaim is a nesek. If a person finds a nesek on his body he goes through a process of seclusion and examination by a Kohen. If, after one week of seclusion, the nesek has not spread, then the person must shave the area around the nesek. However, he is strictly forbidden from shaving the hair that is on the nesek. The Sefer HaChinuch explains the significance of this prohibition. "This mitzvo teaches us that every person should accept whatever pain or punishment that Hashem sends to him; he should not kick out against them, and he should not think that he has the ability to nullify them and hide them from people.." The Chinuch teaches us that there are two incorrect ways in which people react to yissurim which are symbolized by shaving off the nesek sent by Hashem. Firstly, a person may "kick out" against Hashem when he suffers, questioning Divine justice. A person may be above blaming Hashem for their pain but may adopt another incorrect approach. He may try to remove the suffering without learning the lessons that it represents. Moreover, a person may be more concerned about what people think and primarily focus on hiding the yissurim, rather than using them as an opportunity to grow. The prohibition of removing the nesek teaches us that we should not ‘put our head in the sand’ when we endure difficulty, rather we should strive to grow through them.
The Mashgiach of Slobodka, Rav Avraham Grodzinski zt”l elaborates on the message of yissurim at length in his sefer Toras Avraham. He writes that the main purpose of prophecy was to communicate to the people how they were erring. Even when, ostensibly they were doing nothing wrong, the prophet would delve deep into their hearts and pinpoint an area in which they were lacking. He asks, in the post-prophecy era how does Hashem communicate to us to tell us what we are doing wrong? He answers that ‘yissurim’ are the replacement for prophecy. When a person is in pain, no matter how small, Hashem is communicating to him in some way that he needs to grow. Thus, yissurim are a tremendous gift - they provide us with an opportunity to mend our ways. The Gemara says that suffering doesn’t just refer to great afflictions, rather even minor difficulties; it gives the example of when a person tries to take out three coins from his pocket and he only picks up two. In this way Hashem is constantly communicating with us through yissurim.
The obvious question that we are faced with is, ‘it was very easy in the time of the Beis HaMikdash when people suffered from afflications such as negaim that arose when specific aveiros such as lashon hara were committed. But nowadays, how can a person know what message Hashem is trying to tell him through the yissurim?” Of course it is impossible to be certain but The Toras Avraham brings a yesod from Chazal that Hashem punishes a person mida ceneged mida for his aveiros. For example, The Mishna in Sotah tells us that Shimshon sinned with his eyes, therefore he was punished that the Plishtim took out his eyes, and Avshalom was arrogant about his beautiful hair, therefore his hair was the cause of his death when it got tangled up amongst the branches of a tree. Therefore it is recommended that a person look for a cause that is somehow connected to the form of suffering. For example if someone experiences pain in his mouth then perhaps he should first assess whether he transgressed in an area connected with speech. There is, ironically a very good example of this idea in relation to Rav Grodszinski’s life himself. He suffered from a noticeable limp and when a shidduch was first proposed to Rav Ber Hirsch Heller’s daughter Chasya, she rejected it because of his limp. Shortly thereafter she fell down the stairs to the cellar, breaking her leg. She concluded that this was a sign not to reject the match because of Rav Grodzinski’s bad leg and they did indeed marry.
However, more important than whether we find the ‘correct’ aveiro or not is that we search for it at all. In the previous example, if the person’s pain in his mouth comes as a result of lying but he works on lashon hara then he has achieved the main tachlis of the yissurim - trying to grow. This is an extremely important point because there is a common trend that when a person experiences suffering he looks for different segulos in order to end the pain. However, this seems to contradict the lesson of the Chinuch that we should not merely strive to nullify our pain. Hashem does not send us yissurim merely so that we can do some kind of segulo (even if it is effective in ending the pain), rather he wants us to grow. This does not necessarily mean that all segulos are negative but one should not forget the tachlis of the yissurim - that Hashem is telling us to grow. The parshas of negaim are indeed highly relevant to all of our lives - they teach us how we can utilize yissurim to become better people. May we all be zocheh to grow from the yissurim Hashem sends us.
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