TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OURSELVES - NITZAVIM

“This mitzvo that I command you today - it is not hidden from you and it is not distant. It is not in heaven, [for you] to say, ‘who can ascend to the heaven for us and take it for us, so that we can listen to it and perform it?’” What is the mitzvo that the Torah refers to in this passuk? The Ramban writes that it is the mitzvo of teshuva; the Torah is telling us that teshuva is not something that is out of our grasp, rather it is easily attainable if only we make the effort. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l asks, if the mitzvo of teshuva is so easy to fulfil, then why are there so few people who do teshuva properly, everyone knows that they make mistakes so why do they not admit their error and repent?!

The following Medrash about the story of Kayin and Hevel can help us answer this question: After Kayin killed Hevel, Hashem did not punish him instantly, rather He said “where is Hevel your brother?” Kayin famously answered, “am I my brother’s keeper?” (ibid. 4:9) The Medrash gives more details of Kayin‘s reply: “You are the protector of all life, and You are asking me?!.. I killed him but You gave me the evil inclination, You are supposed to protect everyone and You let me kill him, You are the one that killed him… had You accepted my offering like his, I would not have been jealous of him.” Why didn’t Kayin do teshuva for his heinous act? Because he refused to accept culpability for his role in the murder - he even blamed it on Hashem! We can now answer our initial question as to why so few people do teshuva properly. We are generally aware that we commit aveiros but there is one factor that prevents us from repenting properly, the ability to accept that the ultimate responsibility for our actions lies with us and us alone. There are many factors to which we can easily attribute our flaws; whether it be our upbringing, our natural inclinations, or our society, we find it extremely hard to accept ultimate responsibility for our failings. The prerequisite for teshuva is a recognition that ’I could have done better, I could have overcome my yetser hara and not sinned.’ Without the ability to make this difficult admission we can not begin to repent properly but with it teshuva is easily attainable.

This inability to admit our guilt lies at the core of the first and most decisive sin in human history which plagues us to this very day - that of Adam HaRishon. We traditionally attribute Adam’s sin to his disobeying Hashem’s instructions not to eat from the fruit, and it was this that caused Adam and Chava to be expelled from Gan Eden with all the accompanying negative consequences. Rav Motty Berger shlita points out that on closer analysis it is clear that they were not punished immediately after the sin. Rather, Hashem engaged Adam in conversation, giving him the opportunity to admit his mistake. However, Adam did not accept this reprieve, instead he said, “the woman whom You gave to be with me - she gave me of the tree and I ate.” Adam avoided responsibility for his sin, shifting it onto Chava and even Hashem himself for giving her to him initially. Then Hashem turned to Chava, also giving her a chance to repent - she too declined the offer, saying, “the serpent deceived me and I ate.” Only then did Hashem punish them for the sin. it is clear that had they taken responsibility for their actions when Hashem confronted them, then surely the punishment would have been far lighter. Who knows how different the course of history could have been!

We see from the stories of Adam and Kayin that the ability to admit one’s mistakes is perhaps even more important than not sinning! Indeed we all err at some point, it is whether we can stand up and admit the truth for our actions that is the true judge of our spiritual level. It was only several hundred years after the sad beginning of history that a man arose who would shoulder the responsibility for his actions and metaken the mistake of Adam HaRishon. The Tosefta says “why did Yehuda merit the Kingship? Because he admitted [to his actions] in the incident of Tamar.” Tamar was about to be burned at the stake for her alleged act of adultery, when she gave Yehuda the chance to admit to his part in the events. He could easily have remained quiet, thereby sentencing three souls to death - Tamar and the twins inside her. However, in a defining moment in history, he bravely accepted accountability, saying, “she is right, it is from me.” It is no co-incidence that this was the key moment in producing the seed of Moshiach. We know that Moshiach is the person who will bring mankind back to its pristine state of before the sin, rectifying the mistake of Adam and Chava. The way in which to repair the damage done by a sin is by correcting the negative midda displayed in that sin. As we have seen, the main flaw present in Adam’s sin was an inability to accept responsibility for mistakes, therefore Yehuda’s success in taking responsibility for his actions was an ideal rectification.

The intrinsic connection between Moshiach and taking responsibility continued strongly amongst Yehuda’s most distinguished descendant, David Hamelech. The Gemara tells us that Shaul sinned once and subsequently lost his kingdom, whereas David sinned twice and remained king. Why was Shaul treated so much more harshly than David? Shmuel confronted Shaul after he had not destroyed all of Amalek as he was commanded. But instead of admitting his mistake, Shaul justified his actions, denying he even sinned. Then he blamed it on the people for pressuring him to leave over some of Amalek’s animals to be offerings. After a lengthy back and forth, Shaul finally did repent but it was too late and Shmuel informed him that he had lost his right to the kingship. In contrast, after David’s sin in the incident of Batsheva, The prophet Natan sternly rebuked him for his actions, and David immediately replied, “I have sinned to Hashem.” David showed his willingness to take responsibility for his mistakes by immediately admitting his guilt unlike Shaul. Therefore he was forgiven and given another chance to continue as King. Moreover, the kabbalistic sources write that David Hamelech is a gilgul of Adam HaRishon and that his purpose was to metaken Adam’s sin. It seems very apparent that one of the main ways in which David HaMelech was metaken the chet was by taking responsibility for his error so quickly.

We live in a society today that shuns the concept of responsibility - many educated people claim that no-one can be held liable for his behaviour. They argue that essentially we do not have any free will, the person that we become is predestined based on our background, upbringing, genetics and society. Consequently, criminals can be excused of their crimes on the basis that they really had no choice in the matter, and people can tolerate the failings in their relationships and middos as being unavoidable. The Torah outlook strongly rejects this view. If a person is brave enough to admit that he can do better then Hashem will surely help him do so.

We see this from the Gemara about a man called Elazar ben Durdaya. He was a man who was steeped in immorality, however, he suddenly came to a realisation of the error of his ways. The Gemara then proceeds to tell us how he tried to gain forgiveness for his sins. He sat between a mountain and a hill and asked them to request rachamim for him but they refused. He then asked the heavens and earth to request rachamim for him but they also refused. He finally turned to the sun and the moon but they also refused to help him.

Rav Yissochor Frand Shlita brings a drash explanation of this Gemara. The different things whom he asked to pray for him represent different influences on his life; he was trying to shift responsibility for his behaviour onto them. The mountain and hill represent his parents. He argued that his upbringing was responsible for his dire situation, but they refused to acknowledge their guilt. He then turned to the heavens and earth, who represent his environment and tried to blame that for his actions, but they also would not accept responsibility for his sins. He finally turned to the sun and the moon who represent his mazal, his natural inclinations, and claimed that it was impossible to avoid sinning because of his teva. But again, they would not accept culpability for his behaviour. Then the Gemara states that he said “this thing is only dependent on myself.” He finally acknowledged that there was only one source responsible for his aveiros - himself. He could not blame his parents, society or teva, he realised that he had the power to change his ways and he did so. He then did teshuva sheleima and his soul returned to heaven and a Bas Kol came out, proclaiming that Rebbi Elazar ben Durdaya has a place in Olam Haba. The commentaries note that the Bas Kol called him ‘Rebbi’ because he is our Rebbi in teshuva - he teaches us that the only way to do proper teshuva is to admit that the ultimate responsibility for our behaviour lies only with ourselves. If we can do this, then we can hope to do teshuva sheleima.
　

WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO US - ROSH HASHANA

We all know that the main Avoda of Rosh Hashana is to mamlich Hashem - to accept Him as King over us. But what does this mean? On one level it means to recognize that He is all-powerful and has total control over the world. But there is another very important aspect to being Mamlich Hashem. The Gra and Malbim note that with reference to non-Jews Hashem is called a Moshel, whereas with regard to Jews He is called a Melech. A Moshel is a dictator who has complete power but is not loved by his subjects because they perceive that he is not the source of good for them. The goyim see Hashem as a ruler who may be powerful but they would prefer that He not interfere with their lives.

In contrast, a Melech is a ruler who we accept with love over us because we recognize that He is the source of all goodness - the Jewish people are supposed to have this attitude to Hashem’s kingship. In order to properly mamlich Hashem we must recognize that He and He alone is the ONLY source of meaning and happiness. The antithesis of this is the negative mitzvo of not following after other gods. This is not limited to not worshipping idols, it also requires that we acknowledge that there is no other source of our well-being other than Hashem. If a person believes that there is any other factor in his life that is independently significant to his happiness then he transgresses the mitzvo of not following other gods. There are numerous possible ‘alternative’ sources to attributing our well-being, including money, physical pleasure, material attainment, honor, or even ourselves. A person can say he believes in G-d but if he acts as though any of these factors provide him with any happiness to the exclusion of Hashem, then he cannot properly make Hashem King.

The extent to which we recognize that doing ratson Hashem is the only key to success has a great effect on our shemiras hamitzvos, both avoidance of negative (lavim), and performance of positive mitzvos. With regards to lavim, my Rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits Shlita suggests that the shoresh of many aveiros is a belief that there are other ways of succeeding in life apart from keeping the Torah. For example, a person may be faced with the opportunity to gain financially by doing something which is halachically highly questionable; The outcome of his decision whether to do the issur or not may well be based on his emuna - if he really believes that Hashem is the only key to goodness then he will refrain from doing something that Hashem tells him not to do. But, if, deep down, he feels that there is another way, apart from shemiras hamitzvos, in which a person can succeed, such as cheating in financial areas, then he will likely succumb to the temptation. Another example is when a person is put in a situation where he could speak lashon hara, if he has a clear realization that doing so, will, ultimately cause him only pain, then he will not do so. But if, b’shaas maaseh he feels that telling over this piece of gossip will give him pleasure, then he will do so. Of course, a person may not be consciously making such cheshbonos, but deep down they are probably the root of the rationalizations that a person makes when he sins. The more a person can mamlich Hashem, that is, to recognize that He is the ONLY source of happiness, then he will be more successful in his avoidance of doing aveiros because he will recognize that doing them would ultimately not provide him with any real happiness.

The same concept applies for performance of positive mitzvos: it is discussed by Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l. He asks; the Gemara states that there is no reward for mitzvos in Olam Hazeh - this means that a spiritual act such as a mitzvo cannot be sufficiently rewarded by anything in Olam Hazeh. Yet, Chazal also teach us that reshaim receive the reward for their mitzvos in Olam Hazeh - how can they be satisfactorily rewarded by this-worldly pleasures? He answers that the reward a person receives for a mitzvo is no more than the value he himself attributes to that mitzvo. Therefore, a rasha, who sees physical pleasures as the source of his fulfillment will be rewarded with just that for his mitzvos. When the Gemara says that there is no reward in this world, it means that a mitzvo done by a person who has an appreciation of the spiritual pleasures cannot be rewarded with the transitory pleasures of this world.

Based on this, we can gain a greater understanding of the importance on Rosh Hashana of recognizing that Hashem is the only source of true happiness: We are judged on this day according to how many mitzvos we have fulfilled against the number of aveiros that we have committed. However, the Rambam in Hilchos Teshuva writes that each mitzvo has a different potency based on a number of factors, one of the most important being the intentions behind the mitzvo. If a person’s aspirations are largely for this-worldly pleasures then this will surely effect his shemiras hamitzvos; There will be occasions where he will refrain from performing a mitzvo in order to satisfy his desires. Rav Shmuelevitz gives the example of a ben Torah stopping learning in order to earn some money. He is demonstrating that the mitzvo of Talmud Torah is worth less than the amount of money he could gain. Thus, even when he does perform the mitzvo, it is tainted by his underlying attitude that it is worth less than other forms of pleasure such as gaining money. The alarming consequence of this is that the reward he will receive for his mitzvos will only be equal to the value that he himself ascribed to the mitzvo. Thus, it is also apparent in our performance of positive mitzvos, that the extent to which we acknowledge that only Hashem is the source of goodness and that doing His ratson is the only way to succeed in life, bears a great effect on how we emerge from the din of Rosh Hashana.

We spend much of Rosh Hashana in tefilla - those tefillas repeatedly emphasize how Hashem is our King. When we say these words again and again on the day, let us remember what they mean: that Hashem is a loving King who is the source of all good, if we can internalise that then we can emerge from Rosh Hashana triumphant.
Kesiva v’chasima tova.
　

THE CHOICE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH

As we approach Rosh HaShana, it is essential for us to gain clarity as to our underlying attitudes in life. These hold the key to improving our Avodas Hashem. In Parshas Nitzavim, the Torah tells us: “See I have placed before you life and good, and death and evil...I have placed life and death before you, blessing and curse; and you shall choose life so that you and your offspring will live.”

The Torah tells us that Hashem has given us a clear choice, the ability to choose life and good, or death and evil, and it is this choice that is the foundation of our capacity to serve Hashem effectively. However, there seems to be a difficulty with the choice outlined in the passuk; the Torah says that there are two pairs of choices, one between good and evil, and one between life and death. In giving us these options, it is evident that we have the ability and inclination to choose either direction. With regard to good and evil this dichotomy is easily understood; a person will find himself in many situations in life where there will be a strong temptation for him to choose what the Torah defines as ‘evil’, because at times the wrong choice seems to be the one that will provide happiness and satisfaction. Thus, the Torah tells us that we are constantly faced with a free will battle to choose good or evil. What is far more difficult to understand is that the Torah sees that there is a difficult ‘choice’ to be made between life and death, implying that a person has a realistic inclination to choose death over life. Surely, no-one will ever find it difficult to choose life over death, there is no temptation to choose death! Accordingly, why is the choice between life and death such a difficult one to make?

Rav Noach Weinberg zt"l explains that when the Torah talks about ‘death’ it does not simply mean the state of not being alive. The Torah is warning us against what death represents. In order to understand what death means we need to develop our understanding of it’s opposite, ‘life’. When the Torah talks about life it does not merely mean breathing, rather life is the process of growing in one’s Avodas Hashem and Avodas HaMidos. Being alive means directly facing the challenges that life presents and using them to become a bigger person. Accordingly, choosing ‘death’ can mean avoiding dealing with those challenges and opting to escape the difficult opportunities that one faces throughout his life. Death is the choice of comfort over effort, of an easy life over a life full of challenge and growth. With this understanding it is easy to comprehend how choosing ‘life’ over ‘death’ constitutes a very difficult choice.

It is important to note that choosing death is not limited to failure to observe the mitzvos. A person can observe the Torah and simultaneously choose ‘death’; if he is not striving to improve himself, and not fighting his yetser hara, then he is choosing the comfortable option that is akin to a form of ‘death‘. What is frightening is that a person may not be completely aware that he is making this choice and can live his life on ‘cruise control’. If he never really pushes himself to further develop his relationship with Hashem, to daven with more kavanna, to improve his character traits, to be a better husband or father and so on, then he is choosing the comfortable option.

On a slightly deeper level, the choice between comfort and challenge is, in fact the choice between associating with one’s body or soul. Life is a constant struggle between these two contradictory forces that pull us in opposite directions. The body wants to return to the Adama (ground), from where it came; this manifests itself in a desire to lie down, rest, and experience enjoyable and ‘comfortable’ pleasures. In contrast, the soul wants to return to the Shamayim (heaven) from where it originated. This pull is represented by a desire to expand and grow. Thus, each person is constantly faced with these conflicting forces pulling him in opposite directions. The Torah in this week’s parsha tells him that in order to succeed in his tafkid (life purpose) he must choose life.

On Rosh HaShana we are not judged for our performance of specific mitzvos, rather we face a Din on who we are as a whole - what are our sheifos, what is important to us, what are our goals? The choice between living an essentially comfortable life (even if it is done in a ‘frum’ way) and striving to reach one’s potential is an essential element of the Avoda of Rosh HaShana - it defines a great deal about what is important to us.

May we all be zocheh to attain the Torah’s understanding of Chaim.
　
　
　

THE POWER OF HABIT - KI SEITSEI

“An Ammonite and Moabite shall not enter the congregation of Hashem …. Because of the fact that they did not greet you with bread and water on the road when you were leaving Egypt.” The men of Ammon and Moav displayed a great failing in the mida of chesed when they refused to give the Jewish people bread and water. This is one of the reasons that they can never marry into the Jewish people. The Maylitz Yosher notes that their failure to be gracious hosts is all the more difficult to understand when we bear in mind their patriarch - Lot. Lot excelled in hachnasas orchim (hosting people) to the extent that he risked his life to look after the angels who came to Sodom. In light of this, how is it possible that in a few generations this mida completely disappeared and his descendants displayed such indifference? He answers that if a person does chesed because of an internal recognition of its importance and a genuine desire to help others, then it will become ingrained in his descendants for many generations. However, if the chesed comes from habit then it will not be internalized by future generations. Lot did indeed excel in chesed, however this was only because he was brought up in the home of Avraham Avinu. He did not attain an internal recognition of the importance of chesed, it was merely a course of habit for him. Consequently actions such as those of Lot that are not internalized into a person’s soul do not last.

There are two important lessons that can derived from the explanation of the Maylitz Yosher: Firstly, it reveals one of the reasons for the all too common occurrences of youngsters brought up in observant homes leaving the path of Torah. If their parents keep the mitzvos, but their observance comes not out of internalization of what it means to be an Eved Hashem, but out of habit, then the children will surely pick up their parents attitude to mitzvos. At best, they will keep the mitzvos out of rote (which of course is highly undesirable) but at worst, the mitzvos will provide no meaning to their lives and consequently they will turn to other sources to find happiness and meaning.

Secondly, the Maylitz Yosher emphasises that even though Lot performed chesed out of habit he nevertheless did so to the degree that he was willing to give up his life for it! Thus a person may feel that since he is willing to spend much effort, money and time into the performance of mitzvos then this is a proof that he is not doing them out of habit. However, we see from Lot that the force of habit is so powerful that it can even drive a person to risk his life for it!

The Alter of Slobodka brings out another point with regards to Lot’s chesed. In the parsha about the rescue of Lot from Sodom, the Torah says that Hashem remembered Avraham and therefore freed Lot. The Medrash explains that Lot was saved because of a particular chesed that he performed for Avraham. When Avraham and Sarah were in Mitzrayim and Avraham said that Sarah was his sister, Lot could have easily revealed the truth to the Mitzrim and probably earn a great deal of money in return. The Alter asks, Lot was saved from destruction in Sodom for not committing the terrible act of informing on his own uncle to the Mitzrim; but surely his great mesiras nefesh to do hachnasas orchim in Sodom should be the source of his merit. He answers that because Lot’s hachnasas orchim was a result of his upbringing and not something he had internalized himself, it did not reflect in any high level and therefore deserves no reward. In contrast, he had a great natural love for money and this was so great that he felt a great temptation to at least hint to the Mitzrim that Sarah was Avraham’s wife and not his sister. In this area, he did not have the benefit of habit to help him, he had to turn to his own self-control and on this occasion he succeeded through his own efforts to do the right thing. In this instance, his ability to refrain from being an informer is considered greater than his tremendous chesed in Sodom.

We learn from here an example of Rav Dessler zt”l’s principle known as ’Nekudas habechira’ (the free will point). Rav Dessler argues that each person is not judged purely according to his mitzvos and maasim tovim, but to the degree to which he improves himself through his own efforts. Consequently he is judged according to his own standard, which takes into account his upbringing, surrounding influences and natural inclinations. This explains why we can never judge our friend until we stand in his place - we can never understand the nature of the tests that our friend faces because we can never know all the factors in his life.

It is true that there is reward for every mitzvo that is performed, however the main reward is for fighting the battle with the yetser hara and using one’s free will to become a better person. Thus, a person who is brought up in an atmosphere of shemiras hamitzvos and good midos does not receive his main reward for doing what he was naturally brought up to do. As we approach Elul, this is a frightening concept; we presume that all the mitzvos that we perform will be put on the scales against our aveiros, however the power of each mitzvo is judged according to the degree of free will that was exercised in its performance. Consequently, the mitzvos of a person who performs them simply because he was brought up that way, lose a great deal of their potency.

How can we begin to counter the power of habit? Rav Dessler writes that “the Gedolei hamussar and chassidus in the recent generations revealed to us the absolute necessity of limmudim of avodas halev that bring a person to an internalization [of mitzvos].” These include learning mussar, studying the meaning of tefilla, and a deepening of avodas Hashem. Of course it is difficult for a person to take on too much at the same time but Elul is an apt time to focus on one area of Avodas Hashem in which habit has taken over and to try to increase the inner meaning in our performance in this area. The rewards for such avoda are great - we can ensure that our external actions will become internalized in ourselves and consequently our descendants will be far more likely to follow in the path of Torah.