FASTING ON SHIVA ASAR B'TAMMUZ

The fast of shiva asar b'Tammuz begins the mourning period known as the 'Three Weeks'. On this day, the walls of Jerusalem were broken down, and three weeks later, the Beis HaMikdash was destroyed . It is instructive to delve deeper into the purpose of fasting, in order to enter into this sad period with the appropriate state of mind.

The Ben Ish Chai zt"l writes that there are two main purposes of fasting. The first reason is fairly apparent - that fasting diverts a person from physical involvement so that he can focus on more spiritual matters. His second reason is a little less obvious; he explains that when a person fasts, he feels hungry and endures considerable discomfort. By placing himself in such a predicament, he can come to a greater appreciation of the constant hunger and discomfort that a poor person faces throughout his life. This increased awareness will heighten his feelings of pity for the poor man's situation, and will motivate him to offer greater assistance to his unfortunate fellow.

The Ben Ish Chai applies this explanation to clarify an enigmatic gemara in Brachos. The gemara tells us, 'the reward for fasting is charity '. He explains that the gemara is telling us that the consequence of fasting is that a person will give more charity. His very act of fasting will cause him to be more caring about the poor people whom he constantly encounters, and accordingly he will want to help them to a greater degree. It is possible to add that fasting has another benefit related to doing chesed with those less fortunate than oneself. As well as causing a person to give more abundantly, it enables him to improve his giving in a qualitative fashion. By temporarily placing oneself in a situation similar to that of the poor person, he is able to show a far greater sense of understanding for his fellow's desperate situation. When the giver shows that he truly empathizes with the receiver, then the act of giving constitutes a far greater act of chesed.

Rav Shach zt"l excelled in doing chesed by showing an understanding of his fellow's challenges. On one occasion he heard about a widower who was depressed to the point that he stopped functioning. Rav Shach decided to visit the man in an attempt to bring him out of his depression. Receiving no response to his knock, he let himself in, and found the man lying motionless on the couch. "I know what you are going through," he said to the man. "I'm also a widower. My world is dark and I have no joy." The man's eyes lit up for the first time in months - this encounter was the catalyst of the man's resumption of a normal life. What was Rav Shach's secret? By stressing that he too experienced the feelings of losing a spouse, he showed the man that somebody truly understood his pain .

In this instance, the giver had first-hand experience of the receiver's situation. When one is fortunate enough not to endure the same difficulty, he must adapt the lesson of the Ben Ish Chai and try to somehow place himself in a state where he can somewhat relate to his fellow's plight.

This lesson of fasting is particularly relevant to the 'Three Weeks' Chazal say that the Second Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of failings in the area of bein adam lechaveiro . A failure to empathize with the situation of one's fellow is one of the main causes for such flaws. It is far easier for a person to harm others when he has no sensitivity to the pain that he causes them . The Ben Ish Chai teaches us that fasting can be an effective way of eroding one's apathy for his fellow Jews. May we utilize the fast of shiva asar b'Tammuz to improve our conduct in bein adam lechaveiro.

FASTING ON SHIVA ASAR B'TAMMUZ

The fast of shiva asar b'Tammuz begins the mourning period known as the 'Three Weeks'. On this day, the walls of Jerusalem were broken down, and three weeks later, the Beis HaMikdash was destroyed[1]. It is instructive to delve deeper into the purpose of fasting, in order to enter into this sad period with the appropriate state of mind.

The Ben Ish Chai zt"l writes that there are two main purposes of fasting. The first reason is fairly apparent - that fasting diverts a person from physical involvement so that he can focus on more spiritual matters. His second reason is a little less obvious; he explains that when a person fasts, he feels hungry and endures considerable discomfort. By placing himself in such a predicament, he can come to a greater appreciation of the constant hunger and discomfort that a poor person faces throughout his life. This increased awareness will heighten his feelings of pity for the poor man's situation, and will motivate him to offer greater assistance to his unfortunate fellow.

The Ben Ish Chai applies this explanation to clarify an enigmatic gemara in Brachos. The gemara tells us, 'the reward for fasting is charity[2]'. He explains that the gemara is telling us that the consequence of fasting is that a person will give more charity. His very act of fasting will cause him to be more caring about the poor people whom he constantly encounters, and accordingly he will want to help them to a greater degree. It is possible to add that fasting has another benefit related to doing chesed with those less fortunate than oneself. As well as causing a person to give more abundantly, it enables him to improve his giving in a qualitative fashion. By temporarily placing oneself in a situation similar to that of the poor person, he is able to show a far greater sense of understanding for his fellow's desperate situation. When the giver shows that he truly empathizes with the receiver, then the act of giving constitutes a far greater act of chesed.

The Sifsei Chaim explains an Avos d’Rebbi Nosson in this vein. It says, “one should greet every man with a friendly countenance… if a person gives to his friend all the gifts in the world, but his face is sullen, it is considered as if he gave nothing. But one who greets his fellow with a friendly countenance, even if he gave him no gifts, it is considered as if he gave him all the best gifts in the world.[3]” The Sifsei Chaim writes that what people want more than anything is for others to show an interest in and care about them. A gift is merely an indication that the giver thought about the needs of his fellow and how he could give him joy. However, without an accompanying show of warmth, the main purpose of the gift is lost, because the person does not feel as if he is being genuinely cared about. In contrast, when a person is friendly to his fellow even without giving any gifts, then he is providing him with his main need, the desire to feel cared about[4]. A person who gives charity with a friendly attitude is giving much more than money, he is nourishing the poor man with a sense of importance by showing that he is cared about. Similarly, when the poor man feels that his fellow truly relates to his pain, then he feels a great deal of comfort that someone truly understands and cares about his plight.

Rav Shach zt"l excelled in doing chesed by showing an understanding of his fellow's challenges. On one occasion he heard about a widower who was depressed to the point that he stopped functioning. Rav Shach decided to visit the man in an attempt to bring him out of his depression. Receiving no response to his knock, he let himself in, and found the man lying motionless on the couch. "I know what you are going through," he said to the man. "I'm also a widower. My world is dark and I have no joy." The man's eyes lit up for the first time in months - this encounter was the catalyst of the man's resumption of a normal life. What was Rav Shach's secret? By stressing that he too experienced the feelings of losing a spouse, he showed the man that somebody truly understood his pain[5].

In this instance, the giver had first-hand experience of the receiver's situation. When one is fortunate enough not to endure the same difficulty, he must adapt the lesson of the Ben Ish Chai and try to somehow place himself in a state where he can somewhat relate to his fellow's plight. Rav Noach Orlowek Shlita applies this lesson to help people empathize with those who lose family members through some kind of tragedy. He suggests that when one hears about such a tragedy he should spend a short time thinking about how he would feel if this happened to someone close to him. In this way, one can develop a far greater sense of empathy with those who suffer tragedy.

This lesson of fasting is particularly relevant to the 'Three Weeks' Chazal say that the Second Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of failings in the area of bein adam lechaveiro[6]. A failure to empathize with the situation of one's fellow is one of the main causes for such flaws. It is far easier for a person to harm others when he has no sensitivity to the pain that he causes them[7]. The Ben Ish Chai teaches us that fasting can be an effective way of eroding one's apathy for his fellow Jews. May we utilize the fast of shiva asar b'Tammuz to improve our conduct in bein adam lechaveiro.






[1] Taanis, 26a-b.
[2] Brachos, 6b, See Rashi and Maharsha for their explanations of what this means.
[3] Avos d’Rebbi Nosson, Ch.13.
[4] Sifsei Chaim, Moadim, 3rd Chelek, p.275, footnote 11.
[5] Kaplan, 'Major Impact', p.55-6.
[6] See Yoma, 9b, Bava Metsia, 30b.
[7] Psychologists observe that criminals are able to cause others great pain because they are totally immune to the pain that their victims endure. Accordingly, one of the most successful forms of therapy is making the criminals relive their crimes from the perspective of their victims. In this way, they develop some idea of the tremendous pain that they have caused innocent people.

MOURNING

One of the most difficult experiences that a person must undergo is the pain of the death of a loved one. Without guidance, one finds it very hard to find the correct approach to death. On one extreme, some people tend to try to escape the unpleasant feelings associated with death. One baal teshuva remembered the tragic death of a friend in his teens, and how his friends didn't know how to react. What did they do? They went out and got drunk as a way of escaping the unpleasantness of the situation. On occasion these feelings of the need to escape are even expressed at a shiva, where the visitors speak about mundane matters instead of talking about the deceased. On the other extreme, some people do not know how to recover from the pain of losing a loved one. They mourn excessively to the point where their lives are permanently harmed in some way.

In order to understand the Torah approach to death it is instructive to analyze some of the mitzvos that relate to mourning. The Torah prohibits certain acts of mourning: In parshas Kedoshim, it writes "You should not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you; I am Hashem." In parshas Re'eh it tells us, "You are children of G-d, do not cut yourselves, nor tear out hair between your eyes over a death." These mitzvos teach that it is wrong to make a cut in one's body as a sign of mourning. In contrast, there is a positive commandemnt to tear one's clothing on the occasion of the death of a close relative (this is known as kriah). The Shulchan Aruch states, "Someone whose relative has died, (if it is a relative that one is required to mourn over), must tear [their garment] for them." It is striking how very similar actions of tearing are regarded so differently in Jewish law, to the extent that cutting one's flesh is forbidden and yet, tearing one's clothing is obligatory?

In order to understand the difference between cutting one's body and cutting one's clothing, it is necessary to analyze the first event in the Torah in which clothing plays a role - that of the chet (sin) of Adam Harishon The Torah tells us that before the chet, Adam and Chava did not wear any clothes, yet they felt no shame. However, after they ate from the fruit, they then realized that they were naked and they wore clothes to cover their shame. What change took place as a result of the sin? We know that man is comprised of two, contrasting features; a body and a soul. It seems that it was always understood that it was inappropriate for one's essence to be exposed, and therefore there was the necessity of some kind of 'covering' or clothing. Before the sin, Adam primarily identified himself as a soul, and his body took on the role of a kind of 'clothing' for the soul. Accordingly, there was no need for garments to act as clothing for the body, because the body was a kind of clothing in and of itself. However, after the sin, man's primary identity shifted to being that of a body. Once he viewed his body as being the ikar, he felt embarrassed when it was uncovered. Accordingly he needed clothing to cover himself.

With this insight into the relationship between body and soul, we can now gain a deeper understanding of the significance of tearing one's clothing or cutting one's body. Since the chet of Adam Harishon, man lives his life primarily focusing on himself as a body. Thus, when a person dies, one could mistakenly think that his whole being is gone forever. However, this is a grave mistake - he has only lost his body, but his soul remains extant. Accordingly, we tear our clothing to remind us in our time of grief, that our loved one's essence has not disappeared. Only his body, which was the clothing for his soul, has been lost, however his soul is intact. This explains why it is forbidden to make a cut in one's flesh. To do so indicates a belief that this person ceases to exist in all forms.

Through the Torah's directions of how to react to death, we learn the correct attitude towards such a significant event. The mitzvo of kriah teaches us that it is appropriate and proper to express feelings of loss at the death of a loved one. Escaping is an unhelpful and even damaging way to react to any painful event. We acknowledge the pain of losing someone close to us, and also share in an pain that they may experience as they leave their body. However, we do not view death as the end of a person's existence. We recognize that our loved one has moved on to a higher plain of existence. Making cuts in one's body symbolizes a belief that the deceased ceases to exist in any form. Accordingly, it is a totally inappropriate action.
May we all merit to understand the Torah approach to life and death.
　
　
　
　

FASTING ON SHIVA ASAR B'TAMMUZ

The fast of shiva asar b'Tammuz begins the mourning period known as the 'Three Weeks'. On this day, the walls of Jerusalem were broken down, and three weeks later, the Beis HaMikdash was destroyed. It is instructive to delve deeper into the purpose of fasting, in order to enter into this sad period with the appropriate state of mind.

The Ben Ish Chai zt"l writes that there are two main purposes of fasting. The first reason is fairly apparent - that fasting diverts a person from physical involvement so that he can focus on more spiritual matters. His second reason is a little less obvious; he explains that when a person fasts, he feels hungry and endures considerable discomfort. By placing himself in such a predicament, he can come to a greater appreciation of the constant hunger and discomfort that a poor person faces throughout his life. This increased awareness will heighten his feelings of pity for the poor man's situation, and will motivate him to offer greater assistance to his unfortunate fellow.

The Ben Ish Chai applies this explanation to clarify an enigmatic gemara in Brachos. The gemara tells us, 'the reward for fasting is charity'. He explains that the gemara is telling us that the consequence of fasting is that a person will give more charity. His very act of fasting will cause him to be more caring about the poor people whom he constantly encounters, and accordingly he will want to help them to a greater degree. It is possible to add that fasting has another benefit related to doing chesed with those less fortunate than oneself. As well as causing a person to give more abundantly, it enables him to improve his giving in a qualitative fashion. By temporarily placing oneself in a situation similar to that of the poor person, he is able to show a far greater sense of understanding for his fellow's desperate situation. When the giver shows that he truly empathizes with the receiver, then the act of giving constitutes a far greater act of chesed.

The Sifsei Chaim explains an Avos d’Rebbi Nosson in a similar vein. It says, “one should greet every man with a friendly countenance… if a person gives to his friend all the gifts in the world, but his face is sullen, it is considered as if he gave nothing. But one who greets his fellow with a friendly countenance, even if he gave him no gifts, it is considered as if he gave him all the best gifts in the world.” The Sifsei Chaim writes that what people want more than anything is for others to show an interest in and care about them. A gift is merely an indication that the giver thought about the needs of his fellow and how he could give him joy. However, without an accompanying show of warmth, the main purpose of the gift is lost, because the person does not feel as if he is being genuinely cared about. In contrast, when a person is friendly to his fellow even without giving any gifts, then he is providing him with his main need, the desire to feel cared about. A person who gives charity with a friendly attitude is giving much more than money, he is nourishing the poor man with a sense of importance by showing that he is cared about. Similarly, when the poor man feels that his fellow truly relates to his pain, then he feels a great deal of comfort that someone truly understands and cares about his plight.

Rav Shach zt"l excelled in doing chesed by showing an understanding of his fellow's challenges. On one occasion he heard about a widower who was depressed to the point that he stopped functioning. Rav Shach decided to visit the man in an attempt to bring him out of his depression. Receiving no response to his knock, he let himself in, and found the man lying motionless on the couch. "I know what you are going through," he said to the man. "I'm also a widower. My world is dark and I have no joy." The man's eyes lit up for the first time in months - this encounter was the catalyst of the man's resumption of a normal life. What was Rav Shach's secret? By stressing that he too experienced the feelings of losing a spouse, he showed the man that somebody truly understood his pain.

In this instance, the giver had first-hand experience of the receiver's situation. When one is fortunate enough not to endure the same difficulty, he must adapt the lesson of the Ben Ish Chai and try to somehow place himself in a state where he can somewhat relate to his fellow's plight. Rav Noach Orlowek Shlita applies this lesson to help people empathize with those who lose family members through some kind of tragedy. He suggests that when one hears about such a tragedy he should spend a short time thinking about how he would feel if this happened to someone close to him. In this way, one can develop a far greater sense of empathy with those who suffer tragedy.

This lesson of fasting is particularly relevant to the 'Three Weeks' Chazal say that the Second Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of failings in the area of bein adam lechaveiro. A failure to empathize with the situation of one's fellow is one of the main causes for such flaws. It is far easier for a person to harm others when he has no sensitivity to the pain that he causes them. The Ben Ish Chai teaches us that fasting can be an effective way of eroding one's apathy for his fellow Jews. May we utilize the fast of shiva asar b'Tammuz to improve our conduct in bein adam lechaveiro.