Parachat Mattot – Accepter la réprimande

Quand le Sfat Emeth était enfant, il était gardé par son grand-père, l’illustre ‘Hidouché Harim. Une fois, le Sfat Emeth resta réveillé une grande partie de la nuit pour étudier la Thora, et ne s’endormit qu’au petit matin. En se réveillant, peu de temps après, il réalisa qu’il avait quelques minutes de retard pour le chiour que le ‘Hidouché Harim donnait. Ce dernier, en voyant son petit-fils arriver en retard, le réprimanda sévèrement, ignorant qu’il était resté réveillé toute la nuit et supposant que ce retard était le fruit de la paresse. Au lieu de se défendre, le Sfat Emeth écouta silencieusement le reproche et l’accepta. Son ami lui demanda ensuite pourquoi il n’avait pas répondu à la critique du ‘Hidouché Harim, s’épargnant ainsi le dur reproche . Le Sfat Emeth répondit : « Devrais-je perdre une occasion d’être réprimandé par mon grand-père ?! » Il appuyait son raisonnement sur les faits racontés dans la Parachat Mattot . Les Bné Gad et Réouven abordèrent Moché Rabbénou et lui demandèrent la permission de rester sur la rive-est du Jourdain (Ever HaYarden), un vaste territoire pour élever leurs animaux. Moché répondit par une sévère réprimande – sa critique était principalement basée sur le fait qu’en n’entrant pas en Erets Israël, ils délaisseraient leurs frères lors de leur conquête de la Terre. Moché leur rappela longuement l’épisode des explorateurs et ses terribles conséquences. En réponse à la critique de Moché, les Bné Gad et Réouven dirent qu’ils se joindraient au reste du peuple pour conquérir la terre. Le Sfat Emeth fit remarquer qu’en réalité, au départ déjà, ils avaient l’intention de participer à la conquête, mais Moché Rabbénou n’avait pas compris cela de leur demande. Il les réprimanda, par conséquent, pour n’avoir pas voulu se joindre à leurs frères pour conquérir la terre. S’il en est ainsi, pourquoi ne l’ont-ils pas interrompu dès le début de son accusation au lieu de devoir subir une réprimande si forte ? Le Sfat Emeth explique qu’ils voulaient écouter le reproche d’un grand homme, et étaient heureux d’entendre ses remontrances, bien qu’ils aient facilement pu les repousser plus tôt. Le Sfat Emeth aussi, aurait pu stopper le blâme de son grand-père en justifiant son retard, mais il préféra écouter la réprimande du tsadik . Pourquoi l’admonestation d’un grand homme revêt-elle tant d’importance, au point que les Bné Gad et Réouven aient accepté de subir une remarque aussi cinglante ? La Guemara dans Taanit affirme que les malédictions faites par le prophète A’hiya HaChiloni au peuple juif sont plus fortes que les bénédictions énoncées par Bilam . La Guemara étaye cette idée sur un passouk de Michlé : « Les blessures faites par un ami sont justes et bénéfiques, et les baisers d’un ennemi sont comme un fardeau ». Les commentateurs expliquent que les « blessures » causées par un ami font ici référence à la remontrance. Le reproche de quelqu’un qui se soucie sincèrement de son ami est totalement bénéfique, car il a pour but, l’amélioration de celui-ci. Il s’agit donc d’un acte bienveillant, aidant la personne à s’élever spirituellement. Lorsque les Bné Gad et Réouven entendirent Moché Rabbénou les réprimander, ils savaient qu’il agissait avec les motivations les plus pures et ne recherchait que leur intérêt. Ainsi, bien qu’aptes à se défendre, ils préféraient écouter ses paroles et tenter de s’élever à travers elles. Jusqu’à présent, nous avons vu à quel point la critique d’un tsadik est profitable. Mais il semble que même la tokha’ha d’une personne moins vertueuse soit considérablement bénéfique. De plus, même une critique faite de façon erronée peut grandement aider une personne. Le Séfer Ha’Hinoukh écrit que l’interdiction de se venger est basée sur l’idée que tout ce qui nous arrive est envoyé par Hachem. Même si quelqu’un agit envers son prochain de manière négative, il est inutile de garder rancune ou de se venger, car ce tort n’aurait pu être engendré si Hachem ne l‘avait pas désiré . Ainsi, lorsqu’une personne est réprimandée d’une façon qui lui paraît offensante, il lui est très fortement conseillé d’ignorer les sentiments de la personne qui émet la critique, et de se concentrer sur les paroles prononcées, et d’accepter la remarque. Il y a souvent une part de vérité dans la réprimande, ce qui prouve que cette dernière est envoyée par Hachem comme un moyen de nous faire comprendre qu’il nous faut améliorer notre comportement. Chelomo HaMelekh exprime une idée semblable dans Michlé : « Écoute le conseil et accepte la réprimande, afin que tu deviennes sage à la fin de tes jours ». Notons que concernant le conseil, on nous demande d’« écouter », tandis que la réprimande, nous sommes tenus de l’« accepter ». Le fait d’écouter implique une observation et une réflexion — quand quelqu’un reçoit un conseil, il doit le peser avant de le mettre en application. Néanmoins, lorsque l’on reçoit un reproche, il faut l’accepter sans analyser le bien-fondé de la remarque – on doit plutôt considérer cela comme un message de Hachem pour s’améliorer et agir convenablement. Rav Moché Feinstein zt’’l parvenait à réagir très positivement devant une critique incorrecte. Une fois, il répondit au téléphone pour n’entendre qu’un déluge de critiques d’une personne outrée par l’une de ses décisions halakhiques. Il écouta patiemment la tirade jusqu’à la fin, sans même tenter de se défendre. Un disciple choqué lui demanda pourquoi il n’avait rien répondu à une réprobation aussi incorrecte. Il répondit qu’ayant très rarement entendu de reproches, il était reconnaissant de l’opportunité qu’il avait eu d’entendre de si dures paroles – et bien qu’à ce sujet, la réprimande était injustifiée, il devait bien y avoir un autre domaine dans lequel il pouvait s’améliorer, et il convenait donc d’utiliser ce moment de remise en cause pour se parfaire dans ce domaine ! Une autre fois, on reprocha à rav Moché d’avoir transgressé un interdit inexistant. Il répondit à la critique dans une techouva publiée dans le livre Igrot Moché . Il introduit sa réponse ainsi : « Je suis heureux que maalat kevodo (son honneur) ait été si zélé dans l’accomplissement de la mitsva de réprimander son prochain, selon sa compréhension de la situation, et je ne me sens nullement offensé, D. préserve. Bli néder, je ne me déplacerai pas en voiture au moment de l’allumage des bougies , bien qu’il n’y ait aucun interdit à le faire, et qu’il n’y ait même pas de problème de mar’it ayin . » Après avoir complètement réfuté les arguments de la personne qui avait adressé la remontrance, il conclut : « De la part de votre ami qui vous bénit grâce au mérite de la mitsva de faire une réprimande, accomplie pour l’honneur de Hachem Itbarakh et pour l’honneur de Chabbat kodech. » Nous comprenons bien que les gens, en général, ne sont pas au niveau de rav Moché Feinstein et n’aiment pas être critiqués – il n’est pas agréable d’entendre que l’on a un défaut ou que l’on a agi de façon incorrecte. Cependant, si une personne peut écarter les sentiments de douleur qu’elle ressent et tenter d’apprendre de la réprimande, elle pourra transformer cette critique en un outil extraordinaire d’élévation et l’utiliser pour être un meilleur éved Hachem.

MATOS-MASSEI - THE VALUE OF LIFE

“And Bilaam the son of Beor they killed with the sword. ” It would seem that the death of Bilaam Harasha was a punishment for his efforts to harm Klal Yisroel in the desert. The Gemara, however, cites a far earlier crime that he committed as the reason for his untimely death. “Three were in that aitsa [of how Pharaoh should treat the Jewish people], Bilaam, Iyov and Yisro: Bilaam advised [to harm them] and was killed; Iyov was silent and was judged with yissurim; Yisro escaped and was zocheh that his descendants should sit in the lishkas hagazis. ” Bilaam was punished with death at the hands of Klal Yisroel because of his evil advice to Pharaoh many years earlier. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l points out that this Gemara poses a great difficulty: It is clear that Bilaam deserved a far greater punishment than Iyov, because Iyov didn’t commit an active crime, rather he remained silent. Yet, it would seem that Iyov’s onesh was far greater than that of Bilaam. Whilst Bilaam suffered a quick death, Iyov had to endure suffering that no other man has ever experienced. How can this be understood? Rav Shmuelevitz answers that life itself is the greatest gift possible and that any pain, no matter how bad, is infinitely greater than death. Consequently, Bilaam’s onesh was far more severe than Iyov’s - Iyov still had the gift of life, Bilaam lost it forever. Rav Leib Chasman zt”l offers an excellent mashal to help understand this concept; imagine a man wins a huge prize on the lottery, and at that every moment, one of his jugs breaks. Would this minor inconvenience bother him at all at this time of great joy?! The happiness that he experiences due to the lottery prize nullifies any feelings of pain that come in everyday life. So too, a person should have the same attitude in life - his joy at the mere fact of his existence should be so great that it should render any difficulties as meaningless, even sufferings as great as those that Iyov endured. For they are nothing in comparison with the wonderful gift of life . Why is the gift of life so precious? The Mishna in Pirkei Avos can help answer this question: “One moment of repentance and good deeds in Olam Hazeh is greater than all of Chayei Olam Haba, and one moment of peripheral pleasure in Olam Habah is greater than all of Chayei Olam Hazeh. ” This Mishna seems to contradict itself - it begins by stating that Olam Hazeh is incomparably greater than Olam Haba and ends by saying the opposite! The commentaries explain that the two parts of the Mishna are focussing on different aspects. The second part of the Mishna is comparing the pleasure that one can attain in the two ‘worlds‘. In that sense, Olam Haba is infinitely greater than Olam Hazeh - there is no earthly pleasure that can begin to compare with one moment of pleasure in Olam Haba. The pleasure there is that of connecting to Hashem, the Source of all creation - all other pleasures are meaningless and transitory in comparison. However, the first part of the Mishna is focussing on the ability to create more of a connection to HaShem. In that aspect Olam Hazeh is infinitely greater because it is the place of free will in which we have the ability to choose to become closer to HaShem by performing mitzvos. In Olam Haba there is no more opportunity to increase the connection to Him. We can now understand why life is so precious - each moment is a priceless opportunity to attain more closeness to HaShem, the ultimate pleasure that will accompany us for eternity in Olam Haba. The Gra expressed the value of Olam Hazeh on his deathbed. He held his Tsitsit and cried, saying, “how precious is Olam Hazeh that for a few prutot it is possible to gain merit for the mitzvo of Tsitsit and to see the ‘pney hashechina’, whereas in Olam Haba it is impossible to gain anything.” This idea is also demonstrated by the Gemara in Avoda Zara . The Gemara tells of Elazar Ben Durdaya, an inveterate sinner. On one occasion, when he was about to commit a terrible sin, he was told that even if he repented his teshuva will never be accepted. This ‘sentence’ effected him so deeply that he did repent and he died in a state of perfect teshuva. As his soul left him, a Bas Kol came out and said that Rabbi Elazar Ben Durdaya is ready to go into Olam Haba. The Gemara then says that when Rebbi Yehuda HaNasi heard this maaseh he cried out, “there are those that earn Olam Haba in many years and there are those that earn it in one moment.” The commentaries wonder why Rebbi was so upset by this maaseh - he, a person who had struggled for many years in Avodas Hashem, was surely destined for a far greater portion in Olam Haba than someone who earned Olam Haba for one moment of inspired teshuva!? Rav Noach Weinberg zt”l answers in the name of his father, that Rebbi was crying because he saw the power of one moment in Olam Hazeh; in one moment a person can earn infinite bliss, therefore he was crying at any failure to utilise each moment in the best possible way. Each moment is an incredible opportunity at creating more Olam Haba. The Chofetz Chaim applies this concept to halacha . He brings the Sefer Hachinuch who writes that there are six mitzvos that are constantly incumbent upon man and that every second throughout a person’s life a person can fulfil them by merely thinking about them. Consequently, there is no limit to the reward for performing these mitvzos. This can also help explain why Jewish law is so against ending a person’s life prematurely, even if he is unable to live a normal life. Rav Zev Leff Shlita points out that even a person in a coma may well be able to perform numerous mitzvos by his thought. He can fulfil the Mitzvos that only require thought and moreover, Chazal tell us that if a person has a desire to perform a mitzvo but is prevented from doing so, he nevertheless receives reward as if he did indeed fulfil the mitzvo. Therefore, every second more of life is a great opportunity to create more Olam Haba. We have seen how every second of life is infinitely precious. Yet we often think that little can be achieved in a few minutes here or there. However, experience has proven differently. The Chasam Sofer was once asked how he became a Gadol, he answered that he became a Gadol in five minutes. He meant that by utilising every available moment he was able to learn so much more. Rav Moshe Feinstein once had a very large smile on his face - he explained that he had just completed Shas. This was not a novel achievement for him, he was known to have finished Shas dozens of times, but this siyum was different. It comprised of his learning in the gaps at Chasunas; by consistently learning small amounts he eventually learnt all of Shas this way. We too can use small amounts of time to attain surprisingly great achievements in learning. There are people who learn one Mishna a day, this seems a somewhat trivial amount, but after years of consistently doing this they have completed whole Sedarim of Mishnayos. Another important benefit of small sedarim is that one can use them to learn areas of Torah that are not normally given sufficient attention. One Talmid Chacham in Eretz Yisroel is well-known for his expertise in all areas of Torah, including Navi, Hashkafa, and Mussar, as well as his all encompassing grasp of Shas and poskim. When asked how he managed to learn such a wide array of subjects he explained that he had many small sedarim - by learning Maharal or Navi for ten minutes a day, he gradually attained a wide knowledge in them. Similarly, Rav Yisroel Reisman Shlita often emphasizes that in order to know Navi, one need not devote hours each day to it. He attained his expertise in it by learning it for a few minutes each night. Nowadays there are many ways in which one can utilise small sedarim - there are books such as ’A Lesson a Day’ and ’Praying with Fire’ which enable people to learn small but significant amounts of highly important subjects each day. We have seen how precious the gift of life is and the great value of every moment of life. Life is full of challenges and there are times when a person can feel despondent - but if he remembers that life itself is cause for joy then he can overcome any negative feelings: When the Alter of Novardok first started to build yeshivas, he was unsuccessful. He built yeshivas and they collapsed, he organised groups and they disintegrated. In addition, he and his approach were attacked by opponents. At that time he came to Kelm and his Rebbi, The Alter of Kelm noticed he looked sad and understood why. That Motsei Shabbos when a group had gathered to hear his shmuese, he stood at the podium and remained silent for a very, very long time. Then he banged his hand on the shtender and thundered, “It is enough for a living being that he is alive.” Over and over he repeated his words until finally he told the group to doven Maariv. “That session” said the Alter of Novardok “dispelled my gloom and cleared my thoughts. ” The Alter of Kelm taught the Alter of Novardok a priceless lesson - as long as one is alive, there is nothing to complain about. May we all be zocheh to appreciate the gift of life and use it to its fullest.

MATTOS - ACCEPTING REBUKE

When the Sfas Emes was a boy, he was looked after by his grandfather, the great Chiddushei Harim. On one occasion, the Sfas Emes stayed awake for most of the night learning Torah until he fell asleep in the early morning. He awoke after a short time to find himself a few minutes late for the shiur that the Chiddushei Harim taught. When the Chiddushei Harim saw that he arrived late he was unaware that his grandson had been awake for most of the night, and strongly rebuked him, presuming that his tardiness was the result of an element of laziness. Instead of defending himself, the Sfas Emes listened quietly to the scolding he received. His friend later asked him why he did not respond to the Chiddushei Harim’s criticism, and thereby spare himself of the rebuke . The Sfas Emes replied, saying, “would I waste the opportunity of being rebuked by my grandfather!” He based this line of thinking on an incident in Parshas Mattos . The B’nei Gad and Reuven approached Moshe Rabbeinu, asking that he allow them to remain on Eiver HaYarden where there was sufficient land for them to farm their animals. Moshe replied with a strong rebuke - his main point of criticism was that by not entering Eretz Yisrael they would be abandoning their brethren in the upcoming conquest. In a lengthy passage, Moshe ominously reminds them of the incident of the spies and its terrible consequences. In reply to Moshe’s criticisms, the B’nei Gad and Reuven said that they would join the rest of the nation in conquering the land. The Sfas Emes pointed out that in truth, they had intended to join the conquest right from the beginning but Moshe Rabbeinu did not understand this from their request and consequently rebuked them for being unwilling to join their brethren in conquering the land. If so, why did they not interrupt him right at the beginning of his condemnation instead of having to endure such a strong rebuke? The Sfas Emes explained that they wanted to hear the word of rebuke from a great man, and were therefore happy to listen to his criticisms even though they could easily refute them early on. So too, although he could have stemmed the rebuke of his grandfather by justifying his tardiness, he preferred to hear the rebuke of a tzaddik . What was the great quality of being rebuked by a great man that caused the B’nei Gad and Reuven to bear such stinging rebuke? The Gemara in Taanis tells us that the curses with which the Prophet, Achiya HaShiloni cursed the Jewish people are greater than the blessings with which Bilaam blessed them . The Gemara bases this idea on a passuk in Mishlei: “The blows of a beloved one are trustworthy, and the kisses of an enemy are damaging. ” The commentaries explain that the ‘blows’ delivered by one’s beloved here refer to words of rebuke. The rebuke of someone who genuinely cares about his friend is of great benefit because it is aimed at helping him improve himself. This is a great kindness because it helps one improve his spiritual standing. When the B’nei Gad and Reuven heard Moshe Rabbeinu rebuke them, they knew that he was doing so from the purest of motives and only had their best interests in mind. Thus, even though they could defend themselves, it was more worthwhile to listen to his words and try to somehow grow from them. Thus far, we have seen how the rebuke of a tzaddik is of great value, however it seems that even the tochacha of a less righteous person can be of considerable benefit. Moreover, even rebuke that is given in the wrong way, can still nonetheless help someone tremendously. The Sefer HaChinuch writes that the prohibition to take revenge is based on the concept that whatever happens to a person is directed by Hashem. Even if someone acted towards a person in a negative fashion, it is nevertheless fruitless to bear a grudge or take revenge because the pain caused would not have occurred had Hashem so desired . Thus, when a person is rebuked in what he perceives to be a hurtful way, it is highly commendable that he ignore the failings of the rebuker and focus on what he actually said and accept the rebuke. There is often an element of truth in the rebuke proving that this rebuke was sent from Hashem as a means of communicating that he should strive to change his ways. Shlomo HaMelech makes a similar point in Mishlei: “Hear advice and accept rebuke so that you will become wise in your latter days .” It is interesting to note that with regard to advice, we are told to ’hear’, whereas in relation to rebuke we should ’accept it’. Hearing implies an element of contemplation and thought - when a person is given advice he should think about it before he acts upon it. In contrast when one is rebuked he should accept it without analyzing the validity of the rebuke - rather he should view it as a message from Hashem to improve himself and act accordingly. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l excelled in his reaction towards incorrect rebuke. On one occasion, he answered the phone only to be met with a barrage of criticism from someone who was incensed at one of his halachic rulings. He patiently listened to the tirade until it ended and did not even try to defend himself. A shocked student asked him why he did not respond to such an inappropriate rebuke. He answered that he so rarely receives any rebuke that he was grateful for the opportunity to hear such strong words - and even though in this specific area the rebuke was unfounded, there must be some other area where he could improve himself and he should use the rebuke to improve in that area ! On another occasion Rav Moshe was rebuked for a perceived transgression. He answered the rebuke in a teshuva that is found in Igros Moshe . He begins the teshuva saying: I was very happy that maalas kevodo was so zealous in fulfilling the mitzvo of rebuke according to his understanding, and chas v’shalom that I should be upset at this… bli neder I will no longer travel in a car during the time of candlelighting even though there is absolutely no prohibition in it, and there is not even maaris ayiin .” After completely refuting the arguments of the rebuker he ends, saying, “from his beloved who blesses him with the merit of the mitzvo of rebuke that he did for the honor of HashemYisbarach and for the honor of Shabbos Kodesh..” It is understandable that most people are not on the level of Rav Feinstein and do not enjoy being rebuked - it is unpleasant be told that one has a character flaw or acted in an improper fashion. However, if a person can move past the feelings of pain he experiences and tries to learn from the rebuke then he can transform it into a tremendous tool for growth and can use it to be a better Eved Hashem.

ACCEPTING REBUKE - MATTOS

When the Sfas Emes was a boy, he was looked after by his grandfather, the great Chiddushei Harim. On one occasion, the Sfas Emes stayed awake for most of the night learning Torah until he fell asleep in the early morning. He awoke after a short time to find himself a few minutes late for the shiur that the Chiddushei Harim taught. When the Chiddushei Harim saw that he arrived late he was unaware that his grandson had been awake for most of the night, and strongly rebuked him, presuming that his tardiness was the result of an element of laziness. Instead of defending himself, the Sfas Emes listened quietly to the scolding he received. His friend later asked him why he did not respond to the Chiddushei Harim’s criticism, and thereby spare himself of the rebuke . The Sfas Emes replied, saying, “would I waste the opportunity of being rebuked by my grandfather!” He based this line of thinking on an incident in Parshas Mattos .

The B’nei Gad and Reuven approached Moshe Rabbeinu, asking that he allow them to remain on Eiver HaYarden where there was sufficient land for them to farm their animals. Moshe replied with a strong rebuke - his main point of criticism was that by not entering Eretz Yisrael they would be abandoning their brethren in the upcoming conquest. In a lengthy passage, Moshe ominously reminds them of the incident of the spies and its terrible consequences. In reply to Moshe’s criticisms, the B’nei Gad and Reuven said that they would join the rest of the nation in conquering the land. The Sfas Emes pointed out that in truth, they had intended to join the conquest right from the beginning but Moshe Rabbeinu did not understand this from their request and consequently rebuked them for being unwilling to join their brethren in conquering the land. If so, why did they not interrupt him right at the beginning of his condemnation instead of having to endure such a strong rebuke? The Sfas Emes explained that they wanted to hear the word of rebuke from a great man, and were therefore happy to listen to his criticisms even though they could easily refute them early on. So too, although he could have stemmed the rebuke of his grandfather by justifying his tardiness, he preferred to hear the rebuke of a tzaddik .

What was the great quality of being rebuked by a great man that caused the B’nei Gad and Reuven to bear such stinging rebuke? The Gemara in Taanis tells us that the curses with which the Prophet, Achiya HaShiloni cursed the Jewish people are greater than the blessings with which Bilaam blessed them . The Gemara bases this idea on a passuk in Mishlei: “The blows of a beloved one are trustworthy, and the kisses of an enemy are damaging. ” The commentaries explain that the ‘blows’ delivered by one’s beloved here refer to words of rebuke. The rebuke of someone who genuinely cares about his friend is of great benefit because it is aimed at helping him improve himself. This is a great kindness because it helps one improve his spiritual standing. When the B’nei Gad and Reuven heard Moshe Rabbeinu rebuke them, they knew that he was doing so from the purest of motives and only had their best interests in mind. Thus, even though they could defend themselves, it was more worthwhile to listen to his words and try to somehow grow from them.

Thus far, we have seen how the rebuke of a tzaddik is of great value, however it seems that even the tochacha of a less righteous person can be of considerable benefit. Moreover, even rebuke that is given in the wrong way, can still nonetheless help someone tremendously. The Sefer HaChinuch writes that the prohibition to take revenge is based on the concept that whatever happens to a person is directed by Hashem. Even if someone acted towards a person in a negative fashion, it is nevertheless fruitless to bear a grudge or take revenge because the pain caused would not have occurred had Hashem so desired . Thus, when a person is rebuked in what he perceives to be a hurtful way, it is highly commendable that he ignore the failings of the rebuker and focus on what he actually said and accept the rebuke. There is often an element of truth in the rebuke proving that this rebuke was sent from Hashem as a means of communicating that he should strive to change his ways.

Shlomo HaMelech makes a similar point in Mishlei: “Hear advice and accept rebuke so that you will become wise in your latter days .” It is interesting to note that with regard to advice, we are told to ’hear’, whereas in relation to rebuke we should ’accept it’. Hearing implies an element of contemplation and thought - when a person is given advice he should think about it before he acts upon it. In contrast when one is rebuked he should accept it without analyzing the validity of the rebuke - rather he should view it as a message from Hashem to improve himself and act accordingly. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l excelled in his reaction towards incorrect rebuke. On one occasion, he answered the phone only to be met with a barrage of criticism from someone who was incensed at one of his halachic rulings. He patiently listened to the tirade until it ended and did not even try to defend himself. A shocked student asked him why he did not respond to such an inappropriate rebuke. He answered that he so rarely receives any rebuke that he was grateful for the opportunity to hear such strong words - and even though in this specific area the rebuke was unfounded, there must be some other area where he could improve himself and he should use the rebuke to improve in that area !

On another occasion Rav Moshe was rebuked for a perceived transgression. He answered the rebuke in a teshuva that is found in Igros Moshe . He begins the teshuva saying: I was very happy that maalas kevodo was so zealous in fulfilling the mitzvo of rebuke according to his understanding, and chas v’shalom that I should be upset at this… bli neder I will no longer travel in a car during the time of candlelighting even though there is absolutely no prohibition in it, and there is not even maaris ayiin .” After completely refuting the arguments of the rebuker he ends, saying, “from his beloved who blesses him with the merit of the mitzvo of rebuke that he did for the honor of HashemYisbarach and for the honor of Shabbos Kodesh..”

It is understandable that most people are not on the level of Rav Feinstein and do not enjoy being rebuked - it is unpleasant be told that one has a character flaw or acted in an improper fashion. However, if a person can move past the feelings of pain he experiences and tries to learn from the rebuke then he can transform it into a tremendous tool for growth and can use it to be a better Eved Hashem.

THE VALUE OF LIFE - MATTOS

“And Bilaam the son of Beor they killed with the sword. ” It would seem that the death of Bilaam Harasha was a punishment for his efforts to harm Klal Yisroel in the desert. The Gemara, however, cites a far earlier crime that he committed as the reason for his untimely death. “Three were in that aitsa [of how Pharaoh should treat the Jewish people], Bilaam, Iyov and Yisro: Bilaam advised [to harm them] and was killed; Iyov was silent and was judged with yissurim; Yisro escaped and was zocheh that his descendants should sit in the lishkas hagazis. ” Bilaam was punished with death at the hands of Klal Yisroel because of his evil advice to Pharaoh many years earlier. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l points out that this Gemara poses a great difficulty: It is clear that Bilaam deserved a far greater punishment than Iyov, because Iyov didn’t commit an active crime, rather he remained silent. Yet, it would seem that Iyov’s onesh was far greater than that of Bilaam. Whilst Bilaam suffered a quick death, Iyov had to endure suffering that no other man has ever experienced. How can this be understood?

Rav Shmuelevitz answers that life itself is the greatest gift possible and that any pain, no matter how bad, is infinitely greater than death. Consequently, Bilaam’s onesh was far more severe than Iyov’s - Iyov still had the gift of life, Bilaam lost it forever. Rav Leib Chasman zt”l offers an excellent mashal to help understand this concept; imagine a man wins a huge prize on the lottery, and at that every moment, one of his jugs breaks. Would this minor inconvenience bother him at all at this time of great joy?! The happiness that he experiences due to the lottery prize nullifies any feelings of pain that come in everyday life. So too, a person should have the same attitude in life - his joy at the mere fact of his existence should be so great that it should render any difficulties as meaningless, even sufferings as great as those that Iyov endured. For they are nothing in comparison with the wonderful gift of life .

Why is the gift of life so precious? The Mishna in Pirkei Avos can help answer this question: “One moment of repentance and good deeds in Olam Hazeh is greater than all of Chayei Olam Haba, and one moment of peripheral pleasure in Olam Habah is greater than all of Chayei Olam Hazeh. ” This Mishna seems to contradict itself - it begins by stating that Olam Hazeh is incomparably greater than Olam Haba and ends by saying the opposite! The commentaries explain that the two parts of the Mishna are focussing on different aspects. The second part of the Mishna is comparing the pleasure that one can attain in the two ‘worlds‘. In that sense, Olam Haba is infinitely greater than Olam Hazeh - there is no earthly pleasure that can begin to compare with one moment of pleasure in Olam Haba. The pleasure there is that of connecting to Hashem, the Source of all creation - all other pleasures are meaningless and transitory in comparison. However, the first part of the Mishna is focussing on the ability to create more of a connection to HaShem. In that aspect Olam Hazeh is infinitely greater because it is the place of free will in which we have the ability to choose to become closer to HaShem by performing mitzvos. In Olam Haba there is no more opportunity to increase the connection to Him. We can now understand why life is so precious - each moment is a priceless opportunity to attain more closeness to HaShem, the ultimate pleasure that will accompany us for eternity in Olam Haba. The Gra expressed the value of Olam Hazeh on his deathbed. He held his Tsitsit and cried, saying, “how precious is Olam Hazeh that for a few prutot it is possible to gain merit for the mitzvo of Tsitsit and to see the ‘pney hashechina’, whereas in Olam Haba it is impossible to gain anything.”

This idea is also demonstrated by the Gemara in Avoda Zara . The Gemara tells of Elazar Ben Durdaya, an inveterate sinner. On one occasion, when he was about to commit a terrible sin, he was told that even if he repented his teshuva will never be accepted. This ‘sentence’ effected him so deeply that he did repent and he died in a state of perfect teshuva. As his soul left him, a Bas Kol came out and said that Rabbi Elazar Ben Durdaya is ready to go into Olam Haba. The Gemara then says that when Rebbi Yehuda HaNasi heard this maaseh he cried out, “there are those that earn Olam Haba in many years and there are those that earn it in one moment.” The commentaries wonder why Rebbi was so upset by this maaseh - he, a person who had struggled for many years in Avodas Hashem, was surely destined for a far greater portion in Olam Haba than someone who earned Olam Haba for one moment of inspired teshuva!? Rav Noach Weinberg zt”l answers in the name of his father, that Rebbi was crying because he saw the power of one moment in Olam Hazeh; in one moment a person can earn infinite bliss, therefore he was crying at any failure to utilise each moment in the best possible way. Each moment is an incredible opportunity at creating more Olam Haba.

The Chofetz Chaim applies this concept to halacha . He brings the Sefer Hachinuch who writes that there are six mitzvos that are constantly incumbent upon man and that every second throughout a person’s life a person can fulfil them by merely thinking about them. Consequently, there is no limit to the reward for performing these mitvzos. This can also help explain why Jewish law is so against ending a person’s life prematurely, even if he is unable to live a normal life. Rav Zev Leff Shlita points out that even a person in a coma may well be able to perform numerous mitzvos by his thought. He can fulfil the Mitzvos that only require thought and moreover, Chazal tell us that if a person has a desire to perform a mitzvo but is prevented from doing so, he nevertheless receives reward as if he did indeed fulfil the mitzvo. Therefore, every second more of life is a great opportunity to create more Olam Haba.

We have seen how every second of life is infinitely precious. Yet we often think that little can be achieved in a few minutes here or there. However, experience has proven differently. The Chasam Sofer was once asked how he became a Gadol, he answered that he became a Gadol in five minutes. He meant that by utilising every available moment he was able to learn so much more. Rav Moshe Feinstein once had a very large smile on his face - he explained that he had just completed Shas. This was not a novel achievement for him, he was known to have finished Shas dozens of times, but this siyum was different. It comprised of his learning in the gaps at Chasunas; by consistently learning small amounts he eventually learnt all of Shas this way. We too can use small amounts of time to attain surprisingly great achievements in learning. There are people who learn one Mishna a day, this seems a somewhat trivial amount, but after years of consistently doing this they have completed whole Sedarim of Mishnayos. Another important benefit of small sedarim is that one can use them to learn areas of Torah that are not normally given sufficient attention. One Talmid Chacham in Eretz Yisroel is well-known for his expertise in all areas of Torah, including Navi, Hashkafa, and Mussar, as well as his all encompassing grasp of Shas and poskim. When asked how he managed to learn such a wide array of subjects he explained that he had many small sedarim - by learning Maharal or Navi for ten minutes a day, he gradually attained a wide knowledge in them. Similarly, Rav Yisroel Reisman Shlita often emphasizes that in order to know Navi, one need not devote hours each day to it. He attained his expertise in it by learning it for a few minutes each night. Nowadays there are many ways in which one can utilise small sedarim - there are books such as ’A Lesson a Day’ and ’Praying with Fire’ which enable people to learn small but significant amounts of highly important subjects each day.

We have seen how precious the gift of life is and the great value of every moment of life. Life is full of challenges and there are times when a person can feel despondent - but if he remembers that life itself is cause for joy then he can overcome any negative feelings: When the Alter of Novardok first started to build yeshivas, he was unsuccessful. He built yeshivas and they collapsed, he organised groups and they disintegrated. In addition, he and his approach were attacked by opponents. At that time he came to Kelm and his Rebbi, The Alter of Kelm noticed he looked sad and understood why. That Motsei Shabbos when a group had gathered to hear his shmuese, he stood at the podium and remained silent for a very, very long time. Then he banged his hand on the shtender and thundered, “It is enough for a living being that he is alive.” Over and over he repeated his words until finally he told the group to doven Maariv. “That session” said the Alter of Novardok “dispelled my gloom and cleared my thoughts. ” The Alter of Kelm taught the Alter of Novardok a priceless lesson - as long as one is alive, there is nothing to complain about. May we all be zocheh to appreciate the gift of life and use it to its fullest.

ACCEPTING REBUKE - MATTOS

When the Sfas Emes was a boy, he was looked after by his grandfather, the great Chiddushei Harim. On one occasion, the Sfas Emes stayed awake for most of the night learning Torah until he fell asleep in the early morning. He awoke after a short time to find himself a few minutes late for the shiur that the Chiddushei Harim taught. When the Chiddushei Harim saw that he arrived late he was unaware that his grandson had been awake for most of the night, and strongly rebuked him, presuming that his tardiness was the result of an element of laziness. Instead of defending himself, the Sfas Emes listened quietly to the scolding he received. His friend later asked him why he did not respond to the Chiddushei Harim’s criticism, and thereby spare himself of the rebuke . The Sfas Emes replied, saying, “would I waste the opportunity of being rebuked by my grandfather!” He based this line of thinking on an incident in Parshas Mattos .

The B’nei Gad and Reuven approached Moshe Rabbeinu, asking that he allow them to remain on Eiver HaYarden where there was sufficient land for them to farm their animals. Moshe replied with a strong rebuke - his main point of criticism was that by not entering Eretz Yisrael they would be abandoning their brethren in the upcoming conquest. In a lengthy passage, Moshe ominously reminds them of the incident of the spies and its terrible consequences. In reply to Moshe’s criticisms, the B’nei Gad and Reuven said that they would join the rest of the nation in conquering the land. The Sfas Emes pointed out that in truth, they had intended to join the conquest right from the beginning but Moshe Rabbeinu did not understand this from their request and consequently rebuked them for being unwilling to join their brethren in conquering the land. If so, why did they not interrupt him right at the beginning of his condemnation instead of having to endure such a strong rebuke? The Sfas Emes explained that they wanted to hear the word of rebuke from a great man, and were therefore happy to listen to his criticisms even though they could easily refute them early on. So too, although he could have stemmed the rebuke of his grandfather by justifying his tardiness, he preferred to hear the rebuke of a tzaddik .

What was the great quality of being rebuked by a great man that caused the B’nei Gad and Reuven to bear such stinging rebuke? The Gemara in Taanis tells us that the curses with which the Prophet, Achiya HaShiloni cursed the Jewish people are greater than the blessings with which Bilaam blessed them . The Gemara bases this idea on a passuk in Mishlei: “The blows of a beloved one are trustworthy, and the kisses of an enemy are damaging. ” The commentaries explain that the ‘blows’ delivered by one’s beloved here refer to words of rebuke. The rebuke of someone who genuinely cares about his friend is of great benefit because it is aimed at helping him improve himself. This is a great kindness because it helps one improve his spiritual standing. When the B’nei Gad and Reuven heard Moshe Rabbeinu rebuke them, they knew that he was doing so from the purest of motives and only had their best interests in mind. Thus, even though they could defend themselves, it was more worthwhile to listen to his words and try to somehow grow from them.

Thus far, we have seen how the rebuke of a tzaddik is of great value, however it seems that even the tochacha of a less righteous person can be of considerable benefit. Moreover, even rebuke that is given in the wrong way, can still nonetheless help someone tremendously. The Sefer HaChinuch writes that the prohibition to take revenge is based on the concept that whatever happens to a person is directed by Hashem. Even if someone acted towards a person in a negative fashion, it is nevertheless fruitless to bear a grudge or take revenge because the pain caused would not have occurred had Hashem so desired . Thus, when a person is rebuked in what he perceives to be a hurtful way, it is highly commendable that he ignore the failings of the rebuker and focus on what he actually said and accept the rebuke. There is often an element of truth in the rebuke proving that this rebuke was sent from Hashem as a means of communicating that he should strive to change his ways.

Shlomo HaMelech makes a similar point in Mishlei: “Hear advice and accept rebuke so that you will become wise in your latter days .” It is interesting to note that with regard to advice, we are told to ’hear’, whereas in relation to rebuke we should ’accept it’. Hearing implies an element of contemplation and thought - when a person is given advice he should think about it before he acts upon it. In contrast when one is rebuked he should accept it without analyzing the validity of the rebuke - rather he should view it as a message from Hashem to improve himself and act accordingly. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l excelled in his reaction towards incorrect rebuke. On one occasion, he answered the phone only to be met with a barrage of criticism from someone who was incensed at one of his halachic rulings. He patiently listened to the tirade until it ended and did not even try to defend himself. A shocked student asked him why he did not respond to such an inappropriate rebuke. He answered that he so rarely receives any rebuke that he was grateful for the opportunity to hear such strong words - and even though in this specific area the rebuke was unfounded, there must be some other area where he could improve himself and he should use the rebuke to improve in that area !

On another occasion Rav Moshe was rebuked for a perceived transgression. He answered the rebuke in a teshuva that is found in Igros Moshe . He begins the teshuva saying: I was very happy that maalas kevodo was so zealous in fulfilling the mitzvo of rebuke according to his understanding, and chas v’shalom that I should be upset at this… bli neder I will no longer travel in a car during the time of candlelighting even though there is absolutely no prohibition in it, and there is not even maaris ayiin .” After completely refuting the arguments of the rebuker he ends, saying, “from his beloved who blesses him with the merit of the mitzvo of rebuke that he did for the honor of HashemYisbarach and for the honor of Shabbos Kodesh..”

It is understandable that most people are not on the level of Rav Feinstein and do not enjoy being rebuked - it is unpleasant be told that one has a character flaw or acted in an improper fashion. However, if a person can move past the feelings of pain he experiences and tries to learn from the rebuke then he can transform it into a tremendous tool for growth and can use it to be a better Eved Hashem.

ACCEPTING REBUKE - MATTOS

When the Sfas Emes was a boy, he was looked after by his grandfather, the great Chiddushei Harim. On one occasion, the Sfas Emes stayed awake for most of the night learning Torah until he fell asleep in the early morning. He awoke after a short time to find himself a few minutes late for the shiur that the Chiddushei Harim taught. When the Chiddushei Harim saw that he arrived late he was unaware that his grandson had been awake for most of the night, and strongly rebuked him, presuming that his tardiness was the result of an element of laziness. Instead of defending himself, the Sfas Emes listened quietly to the scolding he received. His friend later asked him why he did not respond to the Chiddushei Harim’s criticism, and thereby spare himself of the rebuke. The Sfas Emes replied, saying, “would I waste the opportunity of being rebuked by my grandfather!” He based this line of thinking on an incident in Parshas Mattos.

The B’nei Gad and Reuven approached Moshe Rabbeinu, asking that he allow them to remain on Eiver HaYarden where there was sufficient land for them to farm their animals. Moshe replied with a strong rebuke - his main point of criticism was that by not entering Eretz Yisrael they would be abandoning their brethren in the upcoming conquest. In a lengthy passage, Moshe ominously reminds them of the incident of the spies and its terrible consequences. In reply to Moshe’s criticisms, the B’nei Gad and Reuven said that they would join the rest of the nation in conquering the land. The Sfas Emes pointed out that in truth, they had intended to join the conquest right from the beginning but Moshe Rabbeinu did not understand this from their request and consequently rebuked them for being unwilling to join their brethren in conquering the land. If so, why did they not interrupt him right at the beginning of his condemnation instead of having to endure such a strong rebuke? The Sfas Emes explained that they wanted to hear the word of rebuke from a great man, and were therefore happy to listen to his criticisms even though they could easily refute them early on. So too, although he could have stemmed the rebuke of his grandfather by justifying his tardiness, he preferred to hear the rebuke of a tzaddik.

What was the great quality of being rebuked by a great man that caused the B’nei Gad and Reuven to bear such stinging rebuke? The Gemara in Taanis tells us that the curses with which the Propeht, Achiya HaShiloni cursed the Jewish people are greater than the blessings with which Bilaam blessed them. The Gemara bases this idea on a passuk in Mishlei: “The blows of a beloved one are trustworthy, and the kisses of an enemy are damaging.” The commentaries explain that the ‘blows’ delivered by one’s beloved here refer to words of rebuke. The rebuke of someone who genuinely cares about his friend is of great benefit because it is aimed at helping him improve himself. This is a great kindness because it helps one improve his spiritual standing. When the B’nei Gad and Reuven heard Moshe Rabbeinu rebuke them, they knew that he was doing so from the purest of motives and only had their best interests in mind. Thus, even though they could defend themselves, it was more worthwhile to listen to his words and try to somehow grow from them.

Thus far, we have seen how the rebuke of a tzaddik is of great value, however it seems that even the tochacha of a less righteous person can be of considerable benefit. Moreover, even rebuke that is given in the wrong way, can still nonetheless help someone tremendously. The Sefer HaChinuch writes that the prohibition to take revenge is based on the concept that whatever happens to a person is directed by Hashem. Even if someone acted towards a person in a negative fashion, it is nevertheless fruitless to bear a grudge or take revenge because the pain caused would not have occurred had Hashem so desired. Thus, when a person is rebuked in what he perceives to be a hurtful way, it is highly commendable that he ignore the failings of the rebuker and focus on what he actually said and accept the rebuke. There is often an element of truth in the rebuke proving that this rebuke was sent from Hashem as a means to communicating that he should strive to change his ways.

Shlomo HaMelech makes a similar point in Mishlei: “Hear advice and accept rebuke so that you will become wise in your latter days.” It is interesting to note that with regard to advice, we are told to ’hear’, whereas in relation to rebuke we should ’accept it’. Hearing implies an element of contemplation and thought - when a person is given advice he should think about it before he acts upon it. In contrast when one is rebuked he should accept it without analyzing the validity of the rebuke - rather he should view it as a message from Hashem to improve himself and act accordingly. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l excelled in his reaction towards incorrect rebuke. On one occasion, he answered the phone only to be met with a barrage of criticism from someone who was incensed at one of his halachic rulings. He patiently listened to the tirade until it ended and did not even try to defend himself. A shocked student asked him why he did not respond to such an inappropriate rebuke. He answered that he so rarely receives any rebuke that he was grateful for the opportunity to hear such strong words - and even though in this specific area the rebuke was unfounded, there must be some other area where he could improve himself and he should use the rebuke to improve in that area!

On another occasion Rav Moshe was rebuked for a perceived transgression. He answered the rebuke in a teshuva that is found in Igros Moshe. He begins the teshuva saying: I was very happy that maalas kevodo was so zealous in fulfilling the mitzvo of rebuke according to his understanding, and chas v’shalom that I should be upset at this… bli neder I will no longer travel in a car during the time of candlelighting even though there is absolutely no prohibition in it, and there is not even maaris ayiin.” After completely refuting the arguments of the rebuker he ends, saying, “from his beloved who blesses him with the merit of the mitzvo of rebuke that he did for the honor of HashemYisbarach and for the honor of Shabbos Kodesh..”

It is understandable that most people are not on the level of Rav Feinstein and do not enjoy being rebuked - it is unpleasant be told that one has a character flaw or acted in an improper fashion. However, if a person can move past the feelings of pain he experiences and tries to learn from the rebuke then he can transform it into a tremendous tool for growth and can use it to be a better Eved Hashem.