VAYECHI - ACHIEVING SHLEIMUS

VAYECHI - ACHIEVING SHLEIMUS By Yehonasan Gefen Sefer Bereishis culminates with the eternal brachos that Yaakov Avinu bestowed on his sons. Each son received a unique bracho which catered exactly to his talents and needs. At the end of the brachos the Torah states that Yaakov blessed them again. What was this new bracho? Rashi explains that with this final bracho Yaakov included every son in each other’s bracho so that, for example Yehuda was blessed with the strength of a lion, but with this final bracho, all the brothers also received this mida of gevura . Rashi’s pshat, however, raises a new problem - if every brother was blessed with what every other brother received in his own personal blessing, then what was the significance of blessing them individually at all?! The Maharal answers that Yaakov’s final bracho did not make them equal in every area - each one was strongest in the area that he was blessed in - this final bracho gave all of them an aspect of each other’s brachos. Yehuda, for example, was blessed with a higher level of gevura than his brothers however this final bracho gave each of other brothers a certain element of that mida of gevura . Why did each brother need a certain degree of each bracho? My Rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits Shlita explains that a person can specialize in a certain area, however, he must also have some propensity in the other areas. This concept applies in numerous areas, including one’s role in life, midos, and limud haTorah: With regard to one’s role in life there are many roles that each of us must play in our lives - we must be fathers or mothers, husbands or wives, friends, children, teachers, colleagues and so on. A person may wish to pay particular attention on one area such as chinuch - this is a great thing - however he must not overly focus on that area to the exclusion of everything else. It is vital that a person spend time devoting himself to being a good father, however if this is all he does all day then his other roles in life will invariably suffer. We must know how to make a balance between working, spending time with our wives and children, learning Torah, doing chesed and all the other functions that an observant Jew must fulfill. A good indication that one is over-emphasizing one area is that the other areas are suffering, so for example, a person may be spending plenty of time with his family but if he is not able to be kovaya itim in Torah then something is amiss. This necessity for shleimus also applies in the sphere of midos. For example, most of us have a natural tendency towards chesed or din and we tend to focus the majority of our time and energy on that mida. For example, a natural baal chesed is more likely to emphasize helping others over working on self-discipline. It is natural and correct for a person to focus on his strengths however it seems that a great deal of one’s reward for growth comes in areas that do not come naturally to him. Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky Zt”l notes that the Avos faced their greatest tests in areas that were the opposite of their natural midos. Avraham Avinu, the consummate baal chesed, faced the incredible nisayon in the Akeida, where he had to be covesh his great sense of rachamim and be prepared to kill his son. Yaakov Avinu’s greatest challenges required him to trick reshaim using the mida of sheker, the antithesis of his mida of emes . The necessity of developing a balance in one’s life is very apparent in the area of limud haTorah. Firstly, the Mishna in Avos says, “If there is no Torah, then there can be no derech eretz, and if there is no derech eretz, then there can be no Torah. ” The Rambam comments that both aspects mashlim the other - one cannot overly focus on learning Torah without any emphasis on tikun hamidos and likewise, one cannot develop one’s midos without learning Torah. Rav Yisroel Salanter zt”l was once asked why he encouraged his talmidim to spend so much time on mussar, consequently sacrificing a higher level of greatness in Torah. He answered by discussing a question in hilchos brachos - if a person has in front of him a shalem piece of food and a larger piece of the same food which is not shalem then it is a question of Gadol versus Shalem - which should a person bless on? The halacho is that one must bless on the shalem even thought it is smaller than the gadol. So too, a person who learns Torah but also works on their midos (a ‘Shalem‘) is on a higher level than someone who is more learned but has a less refined character (a ‘Gadol‘). This concept also applies within learning Torah with regard to how much emphasis and time we spend in the different areas of Torah learning. It is normal that a person has a preference for one specific type of learning and wants to spend the majority of his time on that area, such as Gemara. However, if he does not devote any time to halacho, for example, then he will not be able to observe the mitzvos properly. Similarly, my Rebbe notes that a person may learn Chumash when he is a young child and never again give it any significant time beyond speeding through Shtayim Mikra v’echad targum. The consequence of this is that a ben Torah who learns Gemara in great depth may have little more than a child’s understanding of the maasim in Chumash! Rav Kamenetsy was once in a forum encouraging avreichim to spend some time teaching unaffiliated Jews. To one avreich who was concerned about the bitul Torah involved in teaching, he answered, “And if you have to learn a little Chumash and Nachi it won’t be such a terrible thing. ” We learn many lessons from the specific blessings that Yaakov Avinu bestowed on his sons. They also teach us that whilst a person may specialize in a particular sphere, he nevertheless has an obligation to be shalem in all the areas. This is a demanding task, but Yaakov blessed all of Klal Yisroel with the potential to achieve it. May we all reach true shleimus.

ויחי - אל פסגת השלמות

בס"ד ויחי - אל פסגת השלמות יהונתן גפן ספר בראשית מסתיים עם הברכות אותן העניק יעקב אבינו לבניו ולצאצאיו לדורות. כל אחד קיבל ברכה מיוחדת המיועדת בדיוק אליו ומותאמת לכוחותיו ולצרכיו האישיים. לאחר הברכות אומרת התורה שיעקב אבינו בירך את בניו שוב. מה הייתה ברכה נוספת זו? רש"י מסביר שבה כלל יעקב כל שבט ושבט בברכות אחיו, לדוגמא, יהודה התברך בגבורה של אריה, ובברכה האחרונה – קיבלו כל האחים כולם את מידת גבורה . אולם, פירושו של רש"י מעלה קושיה - אם כולם קיבלו כל ברכה שהתברך כל אחד באופן פרטי – איזה משמעות הייתה אם כן לברכתו האישית של כל אחד ואחד?! המהר"ל עונה על כך שברכתו האחרונה של יעקב לא גרמה לכך שיהיו כל האחים שווים בכל תחום ותחום – לכל אחד מהשבטים היה את התחום בו הוא החזק ביותר, ובו נתברך. הברכה האחרונה הוסיפה לכל אחד מעט מכוחותיהם וממידותיהם של אחיו. יהודה התברך בגבורה מיוחדת – ואחיו בברכה האחרונה קיבלו אף הם מידה מסוימת של גבורה. מדוע היה זקוק כל אחד ואחד למעט מכוחותיהם של כל אחיו? מסביר על כך מורי ורבי ר' יצחק ברקוביץ שליט"א, שאדם יכול להתייחד בנושא מסוים, אולם למרות זאת הוא חייב לקנות לעצמו גם חלק בנושאים אחרים ובשטחים השונים מייחודו. רעיון זה מתבטא בתחומים רבים כגון תפקידיו השונים של האדם בחיים, עבודת המידות ולימוד התורה: ביחס לתפקידי האדם - ישנן משימות רבות ותפקידים רבים אותם עלינו למלא במשך החיים – כל אדם נדרש לתפקד כאב, או כאם, בעל או אישה, ידיד, בן להוריו, מורה לתלמידיו, חבר צוות לעמיתיו ועד ועוד. אדם עלול לשאוף להשקיע יחס מיוחד בנושא מסוים, כמו לדוגמא בחינוך – נושא חשוב ביותר – אולם אסור לו להתמקד בנושא זה יתר על המידה, באופן שיבוא על חשבון כל דבר אחר. חיוני ביותר שאדם יקדיש מזמנו ומכוחו על מנת להיות אב טוב יותר לילדיו, אולם אם זה כל מה שהוא עושה במשך היום, הרי ששאר המשימות אותן עליו למלא – לבטח יפסידו באופן קבוע. עלינו ללמוד כיצד לחיות באופן מאוזן, ולשלב עבודה, זמן לִשהות עם האישה והילדים, לימוד תורה, עשיית חסד וכל שאר התפקידים אשר כיהודים שומרי תורה ומצוות עלינו למלא. לשם בדיקה האם האדם משקיע יתר על המידה בנושא מסויים ניתן לבחון אם ישנם תחומים אחרים בהם הוא אינו מתפקד כשורה, לדוגמא אדם המשקיע זמן רב בשהות בצוותא עם משפחתו, אולם בשל כך הוא אינו יכול לקבוע עיתים לתורה – הרי לו סימן שמשהו אינו כשורה. חיוב זה לשלמות ומאזן נכון, מתבטא אף בנושא עבודת המידות. לדוגמא, לרובנו ישנה נטייה בטבעו לחסד או לדין, ואנו נוטים להשקיע את רוב זמננו ומרצנו במידה זו. אדם שבטבעו הוא בעל חסד בקלות רבה יותר יסייע לזולתו ויגיש עזרה לכל נצרך ואך בקושי רב יעבוד על עצמו לשליטה על רצונותיו ולפיתוח משמעת עצמית. טבעי ואף נכון לכל אדם להתמקד בנקודות החוזק שלו, אולם ניתן לראות שדווקא התחומים שאינם טבעיים, ואינם מגיעים לאדם בקלות, דווקא הם אלה אשר משפיעים על צמיחתו ונותנים דחיפה עצומה לגדילתו הרוחנית של האדם. ר' יעקב קמינצקי זצ"ל כותב שהניסיונות הגדולים ביותר בהם עמדו האבות היו דווקא בשטחים ההפוכים ממידותיהם הטבעיות. אברהם אבינו, שהיה בעל חסד מובהק, עמד בניסיון העצום של עקידת יצחק, בו היה עליו לכבוש את רחמיו הגדולים ולהסכים להרוג את בנו. לעומת זאת ניסיונותיו הגדולים של יעקב אבינו דרשו ממנו לפעול נגד הרשעים בערמה, ולהשתמש במידה מסוימת של שקר – ההיפך הגמור ממידתו - מידת האמת. החובה לנהוג באופן שקול ומאוזן מתבטאת מאד בנושא לימוד התורה. ראשית כל, אומרת המשנה באבות, "אם אין תורה אין דרך ארץ, ואם אין דרך ארץ, אין תורה" הרמב"ם מפרש שכל אחד מהם משלים את השני – אדם לא יכול להתמקד אך ורק בלימוד התורה, ולא להתייחס כלל לנושאים כגון תיקון המידות. ולהיפך – אסור לאדם לגדול ולהתפתח בתיקון המידות ללא לימוד התורה. ר' ישראל סלנטר זצ"ל נשאל פעם מדוע הוא מעודד את תלמידיו להשקיע זמן כה רב בעיסוק במוסר, הרי כתוצאה מכך הם מפסידים זמן יקר בו יכלו לגדול יותר בתורה. הוא ענה בשאלה בנושא הלכות ברכות – אם יש לאדם לפניו מאכל שלם ומאותו מין מאכל גדול יותר, אבל לא שלם, מי קודם – הגדול או השלם? קובעת ההלכה – שהשלם קודם, ועל האדם לברך עליו אף אם הוא קטן יותר. כך גם אדם שלומד תורה, וגם משקיע מזמנו לעבודת על מידותיו (כמוהו כמאכל שלם), הוא ברמה גבוהה יותר מאדם שלומד יותר תורה אולם אישיותו פחות מעודנת (כמוהו מאכל הגדול). רעיון זה מתבטא אף בתוך לימוד התורה, בשאלה כמה זמן ודגש עלינו להשקיע בתחומים השונים של לימוד התורה. באופן רגיל לכל אדם ישנה העדפה מסוימת לסוג כלשהו של לימוד ובסוג זה היה רוצה להשקיע את רוב זמנו, כגון בגמרא. אולם, אם אדם זה לא מקדיש כל זמן ללימוד הלכה לדוגמא, הרי לא יוכל לקיים את המצוות בצורה נכונה. בדומה לכך, כותב מורי ורבי שעלול להיות מצב בו אדם למד חומש בעת היותו ילד, ומעולם לאחר מכן הוא לא הקדיש לכך כל זמן שהוא, מעבר לגריסה מהירה של שניים מקרא ואחד תרגום. מה שיוצא ממצב כזה הוא בן תורה, אשר צולל לעומקה של סוגיה בגמרא, ואין לו הבנה גדולה הרבה יותר מילד קטן בפרשיות החומש! ר' יעקב קמינצקי השתתף פעם באסיפה לעידוד אברכים להשקיע מזמנם ללמד יהודים המנותקים לגמרי מהתורה ומצוותיה. אחד האברכים ניסה לטעון כי כרוך בכך ביטול תורה, ענה לו ר' יעקב "גם אם אתה תאלץ ללמוד מעט חומש ונ"ך – לא יהיה זה אסון גדול כל כך " . אנו לומדים רבות מהברכות שייחד יעקב לכל אחד מבניו. הן אף מלמדות אותנו שאמנם יכול אדם להתייחד בשטח מסוים מעבר לשאר הנושאים, אולם לעולם יישאר מחויב להיות שלם גם בנושאים אחרים. זוהי משימה קשה, אולם יעקב אבינו בירך את כל כלל ישראל והעניק לכל אחד ואחד את הכוח להגיע לכך. והלוואי ונזכה כולנו להגיע לשלמות אמיתית.

ויחי – מעל ומעבר לפוטנציאל

בס"ד ויחי – מעל ומעבר לפוטנציאל יהונתן גפן בפרשת ויחי רומם יעקב אבינו את דרגתם של אפריים ומנשה לדרגת שבטי קה. בזמן שעשה זאת הוא בירך אותם בברכה שהפכה להיות ברכת כל אב לבנו עד עצם היום הזה: "ויברכם ביום ההוא לאמר בך יברך ישראל לאמר: ישימך אלקים כאפרים וכמנשה" . המפרשים שואלים על כך, מדוע יעקב הורה לעם ישראל כולו לברך את בניהם שידמו דווקא לאפרים ומנשה – ולא בחר בכל אחד אחר. שאלה זו מתחזקת בהתחשב בברכה המקבילה אותה מברכים את בנות ישראל": "ישימך אלוקים כשרה רבקה רחל ולאה" – לפי זה היה הגיוני יותר לכאורה לברך את הבנים שכמו אברהם יצחק ויעקב. אחת התשובות שמובאות על כך היא שאפרים ומנשה, בשונה משאר השבטים הגיעו למעלה גבוהה יותר מהמצופה מהם. עד אליהם רק בניו של יעקב זכו להיכלל בתוך שנים עשר השבטים. אפרים ומנשה לא היו בני יעקב אבינו ולא היו אמורים להיות שבטים, אולם בשל גדולתם יעקב רומם אותם לדרגת שבטים. כך הם זכו להגיע להישגים ודרגות מעבר לפוטנציאל הבסיסי שלהם. אנו מברכים את בנינו שגם הם יהיו כאפרים וכמנשה, כיוון שאנו שואפים ומקווים גם עבורם שיצליחו לממש את עצמם ולהגיע אף מעבר לפוטנציאל שלהם. התרגום יונתן כותב שכוונת דברי יעקב היא שאדם יברך את בנו שיהיה כאפרים וכמנשה דווקא בברית המילה שלו . הסבר זה מתאים לרעיון שאנו רוצים שבנינו ידמו לאפרים ומנשה בגדלות המיוחדת שהיתה בהם. ניתן לראות זאת מהתפילה הנאמרת בברית: "זה הקטן גדול יהיה". מובן שאין הכוונה בתפילה זו שהתינוק יהפוך לאדם בוגר אלא מדובר בגדלות רוחנית. אנו מתפללים בזמן ברית המילה על גדלותו ודרגתו הרוחנית של הרך הנולד, ומברכים שגדלות זו תהיה גדלות אמיתית כפי שהיתה באפרים ובמנשה. הסבר זה מלמד את האדם קודם כל שעליו לשאוף להגיע לגדלות אמיתית אפילו מעבר למה שהיה מצופה בהתאם לפוטנציאל הבסיסי שלו, נוסף לכך, לפי הסבר זה ניתן ללמוד כיצד אמורות להראות השאיפות והתפילות שלנו לגבי ילדינו. לא מספיק לחנך ילד מתוך שאיפה שיגדל ליהודי פשוט, אלא כל המגמה בחינוך צריכה להיות מתוך שאיפה ורצון להגיע לגדלות. ומעבר לכך, לא מספיק שהורה רק ישאף וירצה שבנו יהיה גדול, אלא עליו להתאמץ ולסלול בפניו את הדרך לגדלות המצופה. ר' יעקב קמינצקי זצ"ל ביסס רעיון זה על נושא בפרשת שמות. כאשר בתיה בת פרעה מצאה את משה רבינו ביאור היא ניסה להביא אותו לנשים מצריות שתתנה לו לאכול, אולם משה לא רצה לינוק מאותן נשים. רש"י מסביר שהסיבה לכך היתה שבעתיד "לפי שהיה עתיד לדבר עם השכינה" . להסברו של רש"י יש ביטוי הלכתי: הרמ"א כותב שאסור להאכיל תינוק מחלב של אשה לא יהודיה – אם שייך אחרת . הגאון מוילנא מציין שמקור דברי הרמ"א הוא משה רבנו שלא ינק מחלב אשה מצריה . הר' קמינצקי שואל על כך, כיצד ניתן להקיש מהמקרה של משה רבינו לכל שאר תינוקות. ביחס למשה היתה סיבה מיוחדת שלא יינק מאשה נוצריה - כי בעתיד הוא ידבר עם השכינה, אולם סיבה זו לא שייכת לכל אחד אחר. תשובתו היא, שמכאן לומדים שעלינו לגדל ולחנך כל ילד כאילו בכוחו ובאפשרותו להגיע לדרגת נבואה, וכאילו הוא בעצמו אכן ידבר עם השכינה. ובהתאם לכך, אופן החינוך על כל שלביו צריך להתאים לגדלות אמיתית בהמשך הדרך. ר' יעקב קמינצקי לומד מרעיון זה עד כמה עלינו להיות זהירים בחינוך הילדים, ועד כמה יש לשמור על סביבה קדושה וטהורה ביותר, נקיה מכל השפעה שלילית. לימוד זה הוא חשוב ורלוונטי ביותר בעולם בו אנו חיים כיום. אדם עלול להרגיש שלא יהיה מזיק ביותר אם יחשוף את ילדיו לפלאי העולם הטכנולגי על כל צורותיו, עולם שחדר לכל תחום בחיי היום יום שלנו. האמת היא שחשיפה כזו בכוחה לסחוף את הילד בקלות להשפעות ומראות שודאי לא יובילו אותו לגדלות רוחנית. וגם, לו יצוייר, ולא ייגרם הרס רוחני ממש (כפי שהרבה פעמים כן קורה), ללא ספק מימוש הפוטנציאל שהיה בו – ימנע, וודאי שלא יצליח ולהתעלות מעבר לפוטנציאל שלו כאפרים ומנשה. אנו לומדים מברכת יעקב לנכדיו על השאיפה שצריכה להיות בכל אדם ביחס לילדיו – שיצליחו להגיע אף מעבר לפוטנציאל שלהם. שאיפה זו אמורה להתבטא למעשה בכל פעולה חינוכית, ובכל נקיטת עמדה בנושא. מי ייתן וכולנו נזכה להגיע מעבר לפוטנציאל שלנו, ולהצליח בחינוך ילדינו – מעבר לכל הציפיות.

VAYECHI - THE ROOT OF SIN

VAYECHI - THE ROOT OF SIN By Yehonasan Gefen “Reuven, you are my first-born, my strength and my initial vigor, foremost in rank and foremost in power. Water-like impetuosity - you cannot be foremost, because you mounted your father’s bed; then you desecrated Him who ascended my couch. ” Sefer Bereishis ends with Yaakov Avinu’s blessings to his sons, however some of these ‘blessings’ consist of harsh rebuke. This is the case with Yaakov’s first-born, Reuven - Yaakov reproves him for his mida of impetuosity that led to his disturbing Yaakov’s bed . The commentaries explain that as the eldest son, Reuven should have received the special privileges of the Kingship, Priesthood and the double portion of the first-born. However, because of his impulsive behavior Yaakov stripped him of all three privileges. Reuven’s severe punishment seems difficult to understand; Chazal greatly praise Reuven for doing teshuva for his aveiro . Indeed, Rashi in Parshas Vayeishev notes that Reuven was not present during the actual seeling of Yosef because he was in isolation wearing sackcloth and fasting for disturbing his father’s bed - this was several years after the incident took place and Reuven was continually repenting for what he had done. Given Reuven’s sincere teshuva, why did Yaakov not accept that he regretted what he had done and that the effects of the sin were wiped away ?! It seems that the key to answering this question is a Rambam in Hilchos Teshuva. After discussing in great depth how one must repent for his aveiros, the Rambam adds that there is another essential aspect of teshuva. He writes: “And do not say that there is only teshuva for sins that have an action such as immorality, stealing, and theft. Just as one must repent from these, so too he must search for his bad character traits and repent from them; from anger, from hatred, from jealousy… And these sins are harder than those that have an action to them, because when a person is engulfed in them it is hard for him to refrain [from them]. ” We learn from this Rambam that in addition to repenting for one’s destructive actions, one has to do teshuva for his negative middos (character trait). Moreover, he points out that it is more difficult to repent from bad middos than bad actions. The Vilna Gaon points out that every sin comes about as a result of a bad midda , thus when a person sins, he simultaneously displays a bad character trait. Accordingly, every sin requires two levels of teshuva - one for the action, and one for the midda that was at the root of the sin. It seems that Reuven had effectively repented for the maaseh aveiro (the action of the sin) however he was unable to completely erase the negative character trait that caused him to sin. This answer is supported by Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz’ explanation of Yaakov’s rebuke of Reuven. Based on Rashi’s commentary he points out that Yaakov was specifically criticizing on the midda of rashness that caused Reuven to disturb Yaakov’s bed rather than the sin itself. It was this rashness that rendered Reuven unfit for the Kingship and Priesthood . Rav Shmuelevitz gives a further example of a great person repenting for his actual sin but not the midda embodied by the action: Shaul HaMelech lost the Kingship because he failed to observe Hashem’s command to wipe out all of Amalek. Shmuel HaNavi criticized him for being influenced by the people’s entreaties to have mercy on Amalek - it showed that he possessed a misplaced humility which meant that he was not strong enough to follow his own convictions. However, after Shmuel’s lengthy rebuke of Shaul, the King did admit his mistake and repent. Why, then was he stripped of his Kingship? Rav Shmuelevitz explains that he only did teshuva for his actual sin, but he did not eradicate the midda of misplaced humility from his character. This midda prevented him from being an effective King. The examples of Reuven and Shaul are highly relevant to our lives. It is highly praiseworthy for a person to genuinely strive to repent from his aveiros, nonetheless if he does not locate the midda that lies at the source of these aveiros then he will be unable to prevent himself from stumbling in the future. The rebuke of Reuven teaches us further that failure to improve one’s middos has another very serious consequence for his spiritual success. Reuven was destined for greatness - he was supposed to represent the Kingship and Priesthood in Klal Yisroel, however his midda of impetuosity prevented him from fulfilling his true potential in these areas. We learn from here that negative middos do not only cause us to sin, but they prevent us from attaining greatness. Undertaking the difficult task of fixing one’s character traits requires much thought and discussion but the first phase for each person is to gain a recognition of which midda is holding him back. There may be more than one negative trait that harms him, but very often there is one ikar midda which is at the root of much of his negative behavior and is the key factor that holds him back from fulfilling his true potential. Possible ways to help locate and understand this destructive midda include speaking with one’s Rabbi or friends and learning Mussar Sefarim that discuss the various middos. Once a person develops a deeper understanding of himself he can now begin the daunting task of genuinely improving himself. m gg Elul is normally the time when discussion of teshuva and tikun hamiddos is most prevalent, however if one only works on himself for one month a year then he will never truly improve himself. The only way of avoiding sin and removing the obstacles that hold one back is to constantly work on improving himself in a genuine, deep way. May we all merit to be truly better people.

SURPASSING OUR POTENTIAL - VAYECHI

In Parshas Vayechi, Yaakov Avinu elevates his two grandsons, Ephraim and Menashe, to the status of Shevatim (tribes). In the course of the process he bestowed on them a blessing that has become the standard blessing by which we bless our sons to this very day. “So he blessed them that day, saying, “By you shall Israel bless, saying; ‘May G-d make you like Ephraim and like Menashe.” The commentaries ask, why did Yaakov instruct the Jewish people to bless our sons to be like Ephraim and Menashe more than anyone else. This question is strengthened by the fact that we bless our daughters to be like the Imahos (Matriarchs). That being the case, it would seem most logical to bless our sons to be like the Avos (Patriarchs). One of the answers given is that Ephraim and Menashe achieved more than their potential; up to this point, only the sons of Yaakov Avinu merited to be considered among the twelve Tribes. Ephraim and Menashe were not sons of Yaakov, and therefore were not destined to be one of the Tribes. However, because of their greatness , Yaakov elevated them to the status of Shevatim. In this way, they achieved the incredible accomplishment of reaching beyond their potential. Accordingly, we bless our children to emulate Ephraim and Menashe, in that we aspire for them to reach beyond their potential. The Targum Yonasan writes that Yaakov was saying that one should bless their son to be like Ephraim and Menashe, at the bris mila in particular. It seems that this interpretation fits with the idea that we want our son to emulate Ephraim and Menashe in the area of becoming great. We see this in the prayer that we say at the bris; ‘may this kattan become a gadol’. This doesn’t mean that we want this small boy to grow up into a large man. Rather, ‘gadlus’ in this context refers to spiritual greatness. We bless our child to become truly great, as did Ephraim and Menashe. This idea teaches a person that he should aspire to surpass his own potential, but it also educates a parent as to his aspirations for his children. He should not suffice in bringing up his child to be an ‘ordinary’ Jew, rather he should aim to facilitate that his child become ‘great’. Moreover, it is insufficient that a parent merely ‘want’ that his child become great, rather he should try to actively facilitate his child’s path to greatness in how he raises him. Rav Yaakov Kamentsky zt”l expresses this idea based on a lesson in Parshas Shemos. When Moshe Rabbeinu as a baby was picked out of the water by Basya, the daughter of Pharaoh, she tried to have the Egyptian women nurse him, but he refused to drink their milk. Rashi explains that this was because, in the future, Moshe “would speak with the shechina”. Rashi’s explanation has an application in Jewish law. The Rema states that one should not feed a baby with milk from a non-Jewish woman, if possible. The Vilna Gaon comments that the source of the Rema is the fact that Moshe Rabbeinu would not drink from the milk of the Egyptian women. Rav Kamenetsky asks how we can apply Moshe’s case to that of every child. In the case of Moshe, the reason why he wouldn’t drink from their milk was because he would, in the future speak with the Divine Presence, however, that reason is inapplicable to everyone else. He answers, that we learn from here that we must bring up our children as if they could possibly reach the level where they will speak to the Divine Presence. Accordingly, we must raise them in such a way that is congruent with them becoming great people. Rav Kamenetsky applies this explanation to how careful we should be to bring up our children in the most holy and pure fashion, free from negative influences. This is a most pertinent lesson in today’s environment. A parent may feel that there is little harm in exposing his child to all types of modern technology that infiltrates into every part of daily living. However, such exposure can very easily involve his child being exposed to influences and visions that are not conducive to a person achieving spiritual greatness. Thus, even if they don’t spiritually destroy a child (which they often do), then they will surely hinder him from achieving his true potential, and certainly from overtaking his potential as did Ephraim and Menashe. We learn from Yaakov’s blessing to his grandsons, that every parent should aspire for his children to reach and even surpass their potential. This aspiration should manifest itself in actions as well as attitude. May we all merit to surpass our own potential and bring up children to exceed all our expectations.

VAYIGASH – REUNIONS

VAYIGASH – REUNIONS By Yehonasan Gefen Parshas Vayigash is characterized by a number of dramatic reunions between Yosef and his family. It is instructive to analyze the actions and attitudes of the great people who were involved in these emotional occasions. The most powerful of all the reunions was clearly that of Yosef with his father Yaakov. Yaakov surely felt indescribable joy at seeing his beloved son after twenty two years of separation, having believed that Yosef was no longer alive. What did Yaakov do when he finally saw Yosef? Rashi tells us that he said the Shema. Some commentaries understand that he was fulfilling one of the two daily obligatory recitations of the Shema; they discuss why he chose this point to fulfill his obligation of Shema. However, the Maharal writes that Yaakov was not fulfilling the daily obligation of Shema. Rather he was saying Shema as an expression of his great connection to HaShem at this joyous time. Instead of focusing purely on the joy of seeing his son, he tried to direct all his happiness to love of HaShem. He chose Shema in particular, because this represents an acknowledgement of how everything HaShem does is ultimately for the good. Moreover, it involves kabbalas ol Malchus Shamayim, which means that as a result of one’s recognition of HaShem one totally subjugates himself to HaShem’s will. The most striking fact about Yaakov’s actions is that, even on an occasion of such great natural emotion, he strove to connect all his natural joy to HaShem and emphasize his subjugation to HaShem. The Torah writes further that Yosef acted very differently in this same reunion. The Torah states: “Yosef harnessed his chariot and went up to meet his father, to Goshen; and he appeared to him, fell on his neck, and he wept on him excessively.” Rashi explains the clause, “and he appeared to him,” to mean that Yosef appeared to Yaakov. The Ramban asks, that these words seem superfluous – once we know that Yosef fell on Yaakov’s neck it is obvious that Yosef appeared to his father. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l explains the significance of the fact that Yosef appeared to Yaakov: He notes that it is evident that Yosef himself felt great joy at the prospect of being reunited with his beloved father after so many years. However, Yosef approached this reunion with only one intent – to provide his father with as much joy as possible in being reunited with his son. Therefore, Yosef made a conscious effort to ‘appear’ or ‘make himself seen’ by his father when they met . He disregarded his own desire to see his father at that moment of reunion, and his single goal was to provide his father with as much joy as possible . We see from this explanation that Yosef had a very different intent from his father in this joyful reunion. Yaakov focused purely on his connection with HaShem at this time, whereas Yosef concentrated on the Mitzvo of kibud av v’eim (honoring one’s parents) to the greatest degree possible. The common denominator between the two was that the intent of both was purely to do what they perceived to be HaShem’s will at this time. This shows a tremendous level of constant awareness of HaShem, and a permanent desire to do his will, even at the height of one’s own natural emotions. We learn similar lessons in this vein from the earlier reunion in the Parsha between Yosef and Binyomin. The Torah tells us: “Then he [Yosef] fell upon his brother, Binyomin’s neck and wept; and Binyomin wept upon his neck.” Chazal tell us that the two brothers saw through ruach hakodesh future calamaties that would take place in their portions of land in Eretz Yisroel: Yosef cried over the destruction of the two Temples that would be in Binyomin’s portion whilst Binyomin mourned the destruction of the Mishkan of Shiloh that would be in Yosef’s portion. Maran Harav Aharon Yehuda Leib Shteinman shlita, discusses why they had such a vision at this time in particular. He explains that their thoughts and emotions were constantly directed to spirituality. Thus, despite the great emotion they felt at this time, their concerns were only spiritual. Had they only been focusing on their personal feelings, they would not have merited to receive ruach hakodesh. The fact that they did receive it at this time, demonstrates their lofty thoughts even at the heights of this powerful reunion. This is another example of how tzaddikim approach moments of great joy. There is a further lesson in how the two brothers reacted to their sad vision. It is noteworthy that they did not cry over the future destructions that would take place in their own portions, rather over the loss in the other brother’s portion. This shows, that, even in the midst of receiving ruach hakodesh, the brothers maintained a very high level of selflessness and sensitivity for others. We have seen the great righteousness of Yaakov, Yosef and Binyomin, in how they conducted themselves at the height of their emotions. This demonstrates their constant sense of connecting to HaShem and doing His will. Whilst their level seems unattainable for us, there are a number of ways in which we can strive to emulate them in our daily lives. Indeed, halacha (Jewish law) dictates that even at times of great joy, we direct our happiness to HaShem. For example, on the occasion of the birth of a child we say the bracha (blessing) of shehechiyanu or hatov vehametiv. Likewise, we say one of these blessings when we acquire a new item that gives us great joy. We can also emulate the heightened sense of bein adam lechaveiro that Yosef and Binyomin demonstrated at their reunion. Even at a time of great joy, they thought about other people more than themselves. A common example where this can be emulated is when a person is celebrating some kind of happy occasion. At such a time, one can easily become totally absorbed in his own joy and not notice other people. Yet this is an apt time to make the guests and well-wishers feel good by showing them that we are really happy to see them. This gives them a sense of importance and being appreciated. May we all merit to emulate the great personalities in the Torah, by serving HaShem even at times of great emotion.

ויגש – יוסף בתפקיד המשנה יהונתן גפן

בס"ד ויגש – יוסף בתפקיד המשנה יהונתן גפן בתחילתה של הפרשה מתוודע יוסף לאחיו; הוא אומר להם שאל להם לחוש אשמה על מעשיהם, באשר משמים רצו שכך ישתלשלו המאורעות, ובדרך פלאית זו יגיעו בסופו של דבר האחים אל יוסף למצרים. וכך אומר להם: "וישלחני אלוקים לפניכם לשום לכם שארית בארץ ולהחיות לכם לפליטה גדלה" , תפקידו של יוסף היה להבטיח את קיומם הפיזי של בני ישראל במשך השנים בהם היו במצרים. מהמשך הפרשה ניתן ללמוד על אחריותו של יהודה להבטיח את קיומם הרוחני של בני ישראל במצרים; יהודה הקדים להגיע למצרים לפני אחיו על מנת שיוכל לפתוח במקום ישיבות ובתי הוראה . חלוקה זו של תפקידים בין יהודה ליוסף מהווה יסוד החוזר על עצמו שוב ושוב לאורך ההיסטוריה היהודית; יוסף אחראי ליישר לפני אחיו את הדרך מבחינה גשמית, ויהודה אשר בידו המלכות לעתיד לבוא, מוביל את כלל ישראל מבחינה רוחנית. מערכת יחסים זו באה לידי ביטוי ברור מאד בתפקידיהם של משיח בן יוסף ומשיח בן דוד. משיח בן יוסף יילחם וישמיד את כל אויבינו, ובכך יכין את הקרקע לקראת בואו של משיח בן דוד אשר יבנה את בית המקדש השלישי. מאפיין חשוב בתפקידו של יוסף הוא העובדה שבמהותו הוא משני – הוא מסייע ביד יהודה לממש את תפקידו כמלך. אכן, אם נעמיק מעט בתקופת היותו של יוסף במצריים, נוכל לראות שיוסף לאורך כל הזמן היה בעל תפקיד משני: בתחילה הופקד על ביתו של פוטיפר - והיה שני לפוטיפר; לאחר מכן בבית האסורים הגיע למעמד דומה, והיה משנה לסוהר. ובסופו של דבר הפך להיות המשנה למלך מצרים – שני לפרעה. דגם זה מציין את תפקידו של יוסף כמשנה – כטפל ומסייע ביד בעל התפקיד העיקרי. רוב בני האדם יתקשו להיות מרוצים מסוג זה של תפקיד – נשיאת כליו של אדם אחר הינו תפקיד המציב בפני מידותיו של האדם משימה כלל לא פשוטה. חלק עיקרי בגדלותו של יוסף הוא נכונותו לקבל בשמחה את תפקידו כמשנה. שניים מצאצאיו הידועים ביותר של יוסף נתקלו במשימה דומה בה קיבלו תפקיד משני, והם הגיבו כל אחד בדרך הפוכה לגמרי מהשני: יעקב אבינו מרמז בדבריו בפרשת ויחי לשני צאצאים אלה: הוא מציין את גדלותו של אפריים בזכות האדם הגדול שעתיד לצאת ממנו – יהושע בן נון. אולם הוא גם רואה בנבואתו שאחד המלכים הרשעים ביותר שהיו בעם ישראל – ירבעם בן נבט עתיד לצאת מיוסף. לשני אישים אלה ניתנה ההזדמנות ללכת בדרך אותה התווה יוסף הצדיק, אולם רק אחד מהם הצליח והשני נכשל כישלון מוחץ. מדוע בחרו בדרכים שונות כל כך? יהושע בן נון ידוע כתלמידו המובהק של משה רבנו. ישנן דוגמאות רבות ביותר המוכיחות את כניעתו והתבטלותו של יהושע בפני רבו. התורה מכנה את יהושע "משרת משה" , וחז"ל מסבירים שהוא היה מביא מגבת לבית המרחץ בעבורו, וקם מוקדם מידי בוקר על מנת להביא לו את מנת המן הגדולה ביותר. בלימוד התורה הוא הקדיש את כל כולו להבין את רבו ולהלך בעקבותיו, עד כדי כך שמובא בתלמוד ירושלמי שגם כאשר היה מקרה בו לא שמע יהושע ממשה, מסקנותיו של יהושע התאימו במדויק למה שנאמר למשה מסיני . יהושע היה מרוצה לגמרי מתפקידו כנושא כליו של משה רבנו, הוא לא חש שזה ממעיט במשהו מערכו או ממעמדו, אלא להיפך – תפקידו רומם אותו לפסגות רוחניות גבוהות ביותר. המדרש אכן אומר, שזכות כניעתו והתבטלותו הגמורה של יהושע בפני משה היא זו שעמדה לו וזיכתה אותו בתפקיד הנהגת כלל ישראל: " אמר לו הקב"ה [למשה] ... יהושע הרבה שרתך והרבה חלק לך כבוד והוא היה משכים ומעריב בבית הועד שלך הוא היה מסדר את הספסלים והוא פורס את המחצלאות הואיל והוא שרתך בכל כחו כדאי הוא שישמש את ישראל" יהושע קיבל בשמחה את תפקידו כמשנה, וכתוצאה מכך זכה להגיע בסופו של דבר להנהיג את ישראל. השני מצאצאיו של יוסף אליו רמז יעקב בפרשת ויחי הינו ירבעם בן נבט, גם לידיו הגיעה הזדמנות ללכת בעקבות יוסף ולקבל מעמד של משנה, אולם הוא, נכשל בניסיון זה. מדברי הנביא ניתן לראות שבתחילת דרכו הוא היה צדיק גדול ותלמיד חכם . הקב"ה החליט שמלכות ישראל תתפצל לשניים כעונש למלכות בית דוד, אחיה הנביא נשלח להעניק לירבעם את מלכות עשרת השבטים – רוב רובם של כלל ישראל. אחיה אף הבטיח לירבעם שאם ילך בדרך התורה הקב"ה יצליח מאד את דרכו. אחיה אמנם ציין גם את העובדה שהמלכות הניתנת לו הינה רק כתוצאה מחטאי מלכות בית דוד, ובסופו של דבר תשוב המלכות לצאצאיו של דוד המלך. תפקידו של ירבעם היה להיות מנהיג – אולם באופן זמני, מטרתו הייתה להיות מקל החובלים של מלכות בית דוד. לו היה מקבל תפקיד זה בצורה נכונה, הוא היה יכול בעקבות יוסף ויהושע להטביע את חותמו בהיסטוריה היהודית כאחד המנהיגים, וכאחד מהצדיקים הגדולים בעם ישראל. אולם, ירבעם לא אבה לקבל מעמד כזה, מעמד משני, מעמד של מסייע ביד העיקר. הוא רצה להיות מלך בזכות עצמו, ולא הסכים להכניע את עצמו ואת מלכותו כלפי מישהו. הוא היה מודאג מהעובדה שכאשר יקיימו היהודים מצות "הקהל" בבית המקדש, רק למלך יהודה תינתן הרשות לשבת, והוא יאלץ לעמוד. כאשר יראה זאת הקהל, הוא עלול למרוד נגדו ולחזור למלכות יהודה. על מנת למנוע איום זה על כוחו ועל מלכותו הוא הציב שני עגלי זהב – אחד בדן והשני בבית א-ל, ואסר על העם ללכת לבית המקדש. מעשה זה גרם לשבטים אשר תחת מלכות ישראל להיגרר לחטא העבודה זרה, בה חטאו במשך שנים רבות לאחר מכן, ושמו של ירבעם ידוע כמחטיא הרבים מאין כמוהו. גם לאחר שירבעם בעצמו החל לחטוא, העניק לו הקב"ה הזדמנות אחרונה לחזור בתשובה. הגמרא מספרת שהקב"ה תפס את ירבעם בבגדו ואמר לו: "חזור בך, ואני ואתה ובן ישי נטייל בגן עדן" לשמע הצעה גדולה זו לכפר על עצמו ועל חטאיו החמורים, שאל ירבעם: "מי בראש", הקב"ה ענה: ,"בן ישי בראש", מששמע זאת ירבעם סירב לעשות תשובה . ירבעם לא היה מסוגל לקבל מצב בו הוא בתפקיד משני, ולפניו יש מישהו חשוב יותר, למרות שהובטח לו שכר עצום בגן עדן. גאוותו ויהירותו הרסו את נשמתו, הוא רצה להגיע לעמדה של כוח, למלכות אמיתית, אולם חלף זאת סופו היה שהוא אחד המלכים שאין להם חלק לעולם הבא . יוסף הצדיק קיבל במצרים תפקיד גדול מבורא עולם – להיות המסייע, להכשיר את הקרקע למען תפקידו של יהודה. הוא קיבל את תפקידו בשמחה וכך הגיע לגדלות אמיתית. כמוהו יהושע, מימש את הפוטנציאל הגלום בו על ידי נכונותו להתמסר כליל למשה רבנו ולהכניע את עצמו לפניו. ירבעם בן נבט לא נהג כך, ואיבד את ההזדמנות להגיע לגדולה. מונח כאן לימוד גדול; עלינו לשאוף לגדלות עד כמה שאפשר, אולם פעמים, ויד ההשגחה מראה לנו בבירור כי יעדים מסוימים אותם היינו רוצים להשיג – אינם מתאימים לנו ולא טובים בשבילנו. לדוגמא, אדם יכול להשקיע עמל רב בלימוד התורה, שעות על גבי שעות ללמוד עוד ועוד, ובכל זאת לא להגיע להוראה כפי ששאף - עלינו לדעת אל נכון שכל מה שאינו בתחום הבחירה של האדם – הינו תחת ההשגחה העליונה. אנו יכולים לשאוף ליותר ויותר, אולם אין שום תועלת בניסיון להילחם במה שקבע לנו הקב"ה. כל תפקיד בחיינו, הוא הדרך היחידה בה עלינו לעבור על מנת לממש את תכליתנו בעולם.

VAYIGASH: YOSEF - SECOND IN COMMAND

VAYIGASH: YOSEF - SECOND IN COMMAND By Yehonasan Gefen The parsha begins with Yosef revealing himself to his brothers; he informs them that they need not feel guilty for what they had done because Hashem was guiding the course of events that brought them to this incredible situation. “G-d has sent me ahead of you to insure your survival in the land and to sustain you for a great deliverance. “ Yosef’s role was to ensure the physical well-being of the Bnay Yisroel during their stay in Mitzrayim. Later in the parsha the Torah alludes that Yehuda was responsible for ensuring the spiritual well-being of the Bnay Yisroel in Mitzrayim, it was he who preceded his brothers in coming there so that he could set up yeshivas : This division of roles between Yosef and Yehuda established a pattern for Jewish history; Yosef is the facilitator by paving the way in gashmius and Yehuda is the ultimate Melech, leading Klal Yisroel in ruchnius. This relationship is most plainly borne out by the respective roles of Mashiach ben Yosef and Mashiach ben David. Mashiach ben Yosef will fight the wars, destroying our enemies and paving the way for Mashiach ben David to build the 3rd Beis HaMikdash. One important aspect of Yosef’s role is that it is essentially a secondary one - his job is to facilitate Yehuda’s position of Melech. Indeed, a brief analysis of Yosef’s time in Mitzrayim shows the Yosef was mesugal to a role of ’number two’: He first becomes the head of Potiphar’s household - second to Potiphar; then he rises to a similar position in prison, second to the prison warden. And finally he assumes the role of Viceroy in Mitzrayim, second to Pharaoh. This pattern indicates Yosef’s role as the number two, the facilitator. A person could easily find this role unsatisfactory - playing ’second fiddle’ to someone else could pose a considerable challenge to a person’s midos. A key aspect of Yosef’s greatness is his willingness to accept his role as the facilitator with joy. Two of Yosef’s most famous descendants were faced with a similar challenge to accept a secondary role but responded to it in drastically contrasting ways: In Parshas Vayechi, Yaakov alludes to these two people; he notes Ephraim’s greatness because of his future descendant, Yehoshua bin Nun. However, he also prophetically sees that one of the most evil Kings of Israel, Yeravam ben Navat, would emerge from Yosef. Both these men had the potential to follow Yosef’s example of being a prime facilitator but only one succeeded whilst the other failed dismally. Why did they take such divergent paths? Yehoshua is most famous for being the devoted talmid of Moshe Rabbeinu. There are numerous instances of Yehoshua showing his submission to his Rebbe. The Torah describes him as Moshe’s attendant , and Chazal explain that he would take towels to the bathhouse for him and would rise early every morning and select the largest of the manna and give it to Moshe . In Torah learning he dedicated himself to understanding and emulating his Rebbe to the extent that the Talmud Yerushalmi says that even in matters that he had not heard from Moshe, his own reasoning corresponded with what had been told to Moshe at Sinai . Yehoshua was completely content with his role as second to Moshe, he did not feel as though it belittled his own standing, rather it elevated him to incredible heights. Indeed the Medrash tells us that it was the merit of Yehoshua’s submission to Moshe that caused him to become the leader of Klal Yisroel: “Hashem told Moshe, Yehoshua constantly served you and accorded you much honor. He came early to your house of assembly to arrange the benches and spread the mats. Since he served you with all his might, he is worthy of serving Israel. ” Yehoshua happily accepted his role as ‘number two’ and consequently attained the ultimate position of leader of Klal Yisroel. Yosef’s other relative alluded to in Vayechi, Yeravam Ben Navat, also had the opportunity to emulate Yosef and accept a position of facilitator but failed dismally. In Tanach we see that he was initially a great tzaddik and talmid chochom . Hashem decided that the kingdom of Yisroel should be split into two as a punishment for Malchus Beis David, and he sent Achiya HaNavi to grant Yeravam the Northern Kingdom which would consist of the vast majority Klal Yisroel. Moreover Achiya promised him that if he would follow in the ways of the Torah then he would meet with great success. He did however point out that Yeravam’s kingship was only a result of the sins of Malchus Beis David and that ultimately it would return to the descendants of David HaMelech. Yeravam’s role was to be a leader but a temporary one, whose purpose was to be the instrument of punishment for Malchus Beis David. Had he accepted this role then he could have emulated Yosef and Yehoshua and been recorded as one of the great leaders and tzaddikim in Jewish history. Yeravam, however, was unwilling to accept the position of facilitator or ‘number two’. He desired to be the King in his own right and was not prepared to subjugate himself to anyone. He worried that when the nation would perform the mitzvo of Hakhel in the Beis Hamikdash only the Melech Yisroel would be allowed to sit down but he would have to stand up. When the people would see this they would rebel against him and return to the kingdom of Yehuda . In order to prevent this threat to his power he set up two golden calves in the North and banned anyone from going down to the Beis HaMikdash. Yeravam’s action was the catalyst for the constant Avoda Zara that plagued the Northen Kingdom and he is known as the ultimate machti es harabim . Even after he began to sin Hashem gave him one last opportunity to do teshuva. The Gemara says that Hashem grabbed Yeravam by his garment and said to him, “’Repent and I, you and the son of Yishi will stroll together in Gan Eden“ Given this incredible opportunity to redeem himself Yeravam asked, ‘Who will be at the head?’ Hashem answered that Ben Yishi would be at the head - when he heard this he refused to do teshuva . Yeravam could not accept being second to anyone, even though he was offered the greatest reward of Gan Eden. His arrogance was the cause of his destruction, he wanted power but instead he is one of the Kings that receives no Olam HaBa . Yosef Hatzadik was invested with the role of facilitator in Mitzrayim , preparing the way for Yehuda, he accepted his role with joy and was able to reach true greatness. Yehoshua, too, achieved his potential through his willingness to subjugate himself to Moshe Yeravam could not do so and lost his opportunity for distinction. This is a powerful lesson; we should all strive to be as great as possible., however there are times when hashgacha clearly tells us that certain attainments are not best for us. For example, a person may work hard in learning Torah and learn a great deal and yet not attain the teaching position that he would like - what we must realize is that anything beyond the realm of our bechira is in the category of hashgacha - we can strive to be greater but there is not toeles in fighting the hashgacha. Whatever role in life we attain, that is the position through which we can fulfill our potential..

INSIGHTS INTO RASHI: YOSEF’S REUNION WITH BINYAMIN - VAYIGASH

Bereishis, 45:14: “Then he fell upon his brother Binyamin’s neck and wept; and Binyamin wept upon his neck.” Rashi, 45:14: sv. Then he fell upon his brother Binyamin’s neck and wept: Over the two Temples that were destined to be in the portion of Binyamin, and whose end was to be destroyed. Upon the momentous reunion of Yosef with his brother Binyamin, Yosef sees through ruach hakodesh that in the future, the two Temples which will be located in Binyamin’s portion will be destroyed, and this brings him to tears. The obvious question is why Yosef received this vision at this point in particular? In order to answer this question it is necessary to delve more deeply into the saga of mechiras Yosef. It seems clear that there is an underlying connection between the whole episode and the future tragedies that would befall the Jewish people with regards to the destruction of the Temples. The Megaleh Amukos provides the first key to discerning this connection. He writes that all the exiles were caused by the sale of Yosef. In particular, it seems that the sinas chinam (baseless hatred) that was generated in this tragic story was the cause of all the future hatred that caused such damage to the Jewish people throughout history. It seems that Yosef understood the long-term significance of the damage caused by his sale, and this can help us understand his actions when the brothers came to Mitzrayim. The commentaries are very bothered as to why Yosef acted so harshly towards the brothers, thereby causing intense pain to the brothers and to his father, Yaakov Avinu. The Kli Yakar explains in great detail that everything Yosef did to them before revealing himself was carefully planned to bring them to recognize the gravity of their sin in selling him and to rectify it. He did this by inflicting on them, measure for measure, the suffering that they caused him twenty two years earlier. For example, he threw them into a prison to correspond to the fact that they threw him into a pit; and he kept Shimon as prisoner in Mitzrayim because he was the main instigator of the plot to harm him; most significantly he placed them in a situation as similar as possible to the one they were in so many years earlier; where the other son of Rachel stood to be lost – would they now rectify their earlier hatred of Yosef by willing to give up everything to save Binyamin? Indeed it is apparent from the Torah’s account that his goal was being fulfilled as we see that they increasingly recognized that the tribulations they were undergoing now were teaching them of the severity of their sin in selling Yosef, until the point where Yehuda showed how dedicated they were to saving Binyamin. Yet it is clear that he did not succeed in completing his goal of bringing them to complete teshuva; after Yehuda’s passionate plea for mercy, the Torah tells us that Yosef could no longer continue his pretense. The clear implication is that ideally he planned to continue even further. The reason for this is that he realized that he had not yet fully rectified the hatred and distrust sowed so many years earlier. And the ramifications of this failure were enormous – it meant as we said in the beginning, that the remaining remnants of hatred would emerge to plague the descendants of the Shevatim in future generation. We can now approach why Yosef cried at this point in particular about the destruction of the Temples. The second Temple is easier to understand. As is well known, the cause of its destruction was sinas chinam (baseless hatred); accordingly Yosef cried at this moment for its destruction because he now recognized that his failure to continue the rectification process, indirectly facilitated the sinas chinam that resulted in the Second Temple’s destruction. The connection between the first Temple and mechiras Yosef is a little more complicated. The basic explanation is that there was one particular event that began the sequence of events that culminated in the Temple’s destruction; this was the split of the two Kingdoms. This created a situation where the Northern Kingdom quickly deteriorated into idol worship which in the long-term filtered into the Southern Kingdom, culminating in the Temple’s destruction. The person who caused this split to take place in such a destructive way was Yeravam Ben Navat, a descendant of Yosef. This split was essentially an extension of the momentous clash in this week’s Parsha between Yehuda and Yosef. Had that clash been fully resolved then the future split could never have taken place with the disastrous ramifications that ended with the first Temple’s destruction. This was why Yosef was crying at this momentous occasion about events that would take place hundreds of years later. We have developed a deeper understanding of the long-term ramifications of mechiras Yosef – by learning from what transpired we can strive to continue the rectification process that Yosef nearly completed.

- YITZCHAK AVINU - TOLDOS

The Torah devotes three parshios to Avraham Avinu and Yaakov Avinu. In contrast, only parshas Toldos focuses on Yitzchak Avinu. And even in this parsha, there is only one story which involves Yitzchak and no other Av; the story of his time living in Gerar, the land of the Phlishtim. Yitchak is forced by a famine to move to Gerar where he says that his wife, Rivka, is his sister, like his father had done many years earlier. Then the Torah goes to considerable length describing how the Plishtim sealed wells that Avraham had dug, and how Yitzchak re-dug them. He endures considerable hostility from the native Plishtim and finally makes a treaty with their King, Avimelech. On superficial analysis it is very difficult to derive any significant lessons from this story, but in truth, it provides the key to understanding Yitzchak Avinu. The most striking aspect of Yitzchak’s actions is that they very closely followed those of his father. When there was a famine in Avraham’s time he headed for Mitzrayim; Yitzchak planned to do the same thing until Hashem told him not to leave Eretz Yisroel. Then he returned to the wells that his father had dug but were now sealed and he dug them again, and called them the same names that his father had called them . Rabbeinu Bachya statest that from Yitzchak’s actions here, we derive the concept of mesoras avos, following in the traditions of our fathers for all future generations of the Jewish people. Yitzchak did not want to veer one inch from the path trodden by his father. Rav Mattisyahu Salomon Shlita explains Yitzchak’s role among the Avos: Avraham was the trailblazer; he set the precedents and established the guideposts. Yitzchak’s avoda was to consolidate everything that his father had done, to follow precisely in his father’s footsteps and thereby establish for all future generations the primacy of mesora. Yitzchak’s life work was not to seek new ways and new paths but to follow faithfully on the path trodden by his father. Therefore, when a famine comes to the land, he immediately thinks of going to Mitzrayim because his father did so. And when he comes to Gerar he digs the same wells and gives them the same names that Avraham had given them . However, there is another key aspect to Yizchak Avinu that seems to contradict the idea that he followed his father in every way: Chazal tell us that they possessed very different personalities; Avraham epitomizes midos hachesed, overflowing with kindness to everyone. Yitzchak, in contrast, is characterized by midos hadin and gevura. Indeed, a great part of his greatness is the fact that he was not a mere clone of his father; this is illustrated by Chazal’s explanation of why Yitzchak’s tefillas for children were answered before those of Rivka. The Gemara, quoted by Rashi, tells us that there is no comparison between the tefillos of a tzaddik ben tzaddik to those of a tzaddik ben rasha . This is very difficult to understand, a person who overcomes their negative upbringing to become righteous seems to be deserve greater merit than one who is born into a righteous family. The answer is that a tzadik ben tzadik faces an even more difficult challenge - not to become a carbon copy of his father. Avraham was the greatest role model a person could have, and it would have been natural for Yitzchak to try to emulate his father’s every action. However, Yitzchak did not content himself with that; he forged his own path toward Avodas Hashem. We have seen that on the one hand, Yitzchak represents the mesora, not deviating from the path that his father had set. And, on the other hand, he possessed a totally different character to his father! How can we resolve these two aspects of Yitzchak? In reality there is clearly no contradiction here; All Jews are born into a line of tradition that goes back to Avraham Avinu; we are obligated to faithfully adhere to the instructions and attitudes that we receive from this line of mesora. A person cannot mechadesh his own set of values or hanhagos; there is a mesora that guides him how to live his life. But, at the same time, this does not mean that each person in the chain of mesora is identical in every way - there are many ways in which a person can express himself in the fulfillment of the mesora. The Chofetz Chaim zt”l asks why the Torah emphasizes that the Etz HaHcahim was davke in the middle (‘besoch’) of Gan Eden. He answers that there is one central point of truth but that there are numerous points surrounding it, each one standing at an equal distant from the centre. So too, there are many different approaches to Judaism that emphasize different areas and different character traits. However, as long as they remain within the boundaries of the mesora, then they are all of equal validity . There was one Yeshiva in particular that stressed the idea that each person should not be forced into one specific mold - Slobodka. The Alter of Slobodka placed great stress on the uniqueness of each individual. He was very weary of employing highly charismatic teachers in his yeshiva for fear that they would overwhelm their students with their sheer force of personality . Rav Yerucham Levovitz zt”l, the great Mashgiach of the Mirrer Yeshiva, once visited the Alter. On the first day of his visit, the Alter reproved him so vehemently that the whole Yeshiva could hear the shouts from closed doors. This reproof continued day after day for nearly a week. What had upset the Alter? He felt that Reb Yerucham was so charismatic that he was turning the Mirrer bochrim into his ‘Cossacks’ - each one in Reb Yerucham’s image - rather than allowing each to develop their own unique expression . Reb Yaakov adopted a similar approach in the area of hashkafa - he felt that if a person had a tendency towards a certain valid stream of Torah then he should not be prevented from looking into it even if it contrasted the traditional outlook adopted by his family. A family close to Reb Yaakov was shocked when the youngest of their seven sons informed them that he wanted to be a Skverer Chassid. They went together with the boy to Reb Yaakov expecting him to convince their son that boys from proper German-Jewish families do not become Chassidim. To their surprise, Reb Yaakov spent his time assuring them that it was not a reflection on them that their son wanted to follow a different path of Avodas Hashem. Obviously, their son had certain emotional needs which, he felt, could be filled by becoming a chassid and they should honor those feelings. Reb Yaakov even recommended a step more radical than even the parents were willing to consider - sending the boy to a Skverer Yeshiva ! The idea that there are many different valid ways for an observant Jews to express himself is relevant to many areas of our lives, including development of character traits, limud haTorah and hashkafa: There is a tendency in many societies for certain character traits to gain more praise than others. For example, being outgoing and confident is often seen as very positive, whilst being shy and retiring is often viewed in a negative light. An extroverted parent who has a more introverted child may be inclined to see his child’s quiet nature as a character flaw and try to pressure him to change his ways. However, the likelihood is that this will only succeed in making him feel inadequate. It is the parent’s avoda to accept that his child may be different from him, accept him for who he is and work with his strengths. Similarly a child may find it difficult to sit for long periods of time and focus on learning. If a parent or teacher places too great a pressure on the child to learn constantly, then it is likely that when he grows up he will rebel . Even within the curriculum of learning a person may feel unsatisfied if he only learns Gemara all day long. Many people enjoy exploring other areas of Torah such as Navi, hashkafa and mussar. It may be advisable (with Rabbinic guidance) to encourage one’s children or talmidim with such leanings to learn these areas instead of making them feel inadequate for not learning Gemara to the exclusion of everything else . And as we have seen from the story with Reb Yaakov, there is no need to be afraid if one’s child or talmid chooses to express his Yiddishkeit in a different way from his parents. It should be noted that whilst chinch habanim is the area most effected by this message, it also applies greatly to our own Avodas Hashem. We too may experience feelings of inadequacy in some area of our lives because we do not ‘fit in’ with the consensus of the society that we live in. However, sometimes, we may be able to find more satisfaction in our Avodas Hashem, midos or learning, if we allow ourselves to express our strengths. Of course this should be done with guidance and strict adherence to the mesora. How important is it that a person be encouraged to express his individuality in Torah? We said earlier that the Yeshiva that most stressed this idea was Slobodka. If one were to look at the products of all the great Yeshivas he will see that Slobodka produced a great number of Gedolim . And what is striking about these great people is how different they were from each other. By stressing the uniqueness of each individual the Alter was able to bring the best out of each of his talmidim. If we can emulate him then we have a far greater chance of giving ourselves, our children and our students happier and more successful lives.

USING STRENGTH IN THE RIGHT WAY - TOLDOS

"And Yitzchak loved Esav for game was in his mouth, but Rivka loved Yaakov.” One of the most difficult aspects of Parshas Toldos is Yitzchak Avinu’s preference for Esav over Yaakov Avinu. How could such a great man as Yitzchak believe that Esav was virtuous and more fitting to receive the blessings than his righteous brother? The Be’er Yosef offers an interesting approach to these issues. He explains that there are two types of righteous people. One is a person whose natural character traits are very refined and pure. The other, is one whose natural tendencies are negative, and therefore has to work hard to overcome his yetser hara (evil inclination). He quotes the Yaavetz, who states that the person whose natural inclination is negative is greater. He explains further that Yitzchak believed both his sons were tzaddikim (righteous), however, he saw that Yaakov was the kind of tzaddik who is born with a natural leaning to good character traits, whereas, Esav was an example of a tzaddik who had to overcome his yetser hara. Yitzchak’s mistake was that he believed Esav had successfully overcome his natural tendencies, where in truth, they had overcome him, driving him on a course of destruction. How could Yitzchak be blind to Esav’s true character? The Be’er Yosef continues that Yitzchak recognized that Esav was born with the sign of redness, which the gemara tells us is an indication of a bloodthirsty nature. The gemara says that one who is born with this mazal will direct his energies to some form of activity related to spilling blood. If he applies it in a negative way, he will be a thief, however if he directs it positively he will be a shochet or a mohel . Esav became a hunter which the Be’er Yosef equates with a shochet. Yitzchak viewed this as being Esav’s way of channeling his violent tendencies to a positive use. Moreover, he used his hunting to fulfill the Mitzvo of honoring one’s father, by providing Yitzchak with food. In this way, Yitzchak believed that Esav had reached a level of righteousness that was greater than that of Yaakov. He saw that Yaakov’s natural leanings were towards righteousness, therefore Yaakov was less meritorious than Esav, whom, Yitzchak believed, had overcome his yetser hara to become a tzaddik. It is possible to further develop this idea that Yitzchak preferred to Esav’s perceived form of righteousness. It is well-known that each of the Avos (Forefathers) excelled in one particular character trait. Avraham’s trait was chessed, Yitzchak’s was gevura (strength) , and that of Yaakov was emes (truth). The sefarim hakedoshim explain that both Avraham and Yitzchak bore sons who also had a leaning to the same trait as them, however, they misused that trait, and therefore it became expressed in a negative way. Yishmael epitomized misuse of the trait of chessed , whereas Esav personified the misapplication of gevura. It is instructive to analyze more deeply, the positive aspect of gevura embodied by Yitzchak, and contrast it to its negative application by Esav. Yitzchak exercised great internal strength throughout his life. His strength was in his ability to conquer any negative inclinations that he may have had, and to nullify his own selfish desires and needs. This resulted in a great level of self-discipline and pure Avodas HaShem whereby Yitzchak’s whole being was fulfilled solely to fulfilling HaShem’s will. Yitzchak saw in Esav the potential to also excel in this trait, and perhaps even to develop it further than Yitzchak could. As the Be’er Yosef explained, Yitzchak saw that Esav had powerful inclinations driving him towards evil, however he felt that if Esav used his natural gevura in the correct way, he could excel greatly in that trait. However, Yitzchak did not realize that Esav directed his gevura for selfish purposes. Instead of utilizing it in the correct way, by controlling himself, Esav used it to control others. Rather than expressing his power through self-discipline, he did it through dominating and overpowering other people. This is most obviously apparent in his profession of hunting, which involved overcoming mighty animals. Moreover, Rashi tells us that Esav was a murderer. Needless to say, Esav paid no heed to strengthening himself internally to control himself, rather Chazal tell us that he was extremely immoral. Esav’s descendants, in particular, the Romans, emulated Esav in their misuse of the trait of gevura. They were a nation bent on conquering the world for the sake of having immense power. Moreover, like Esav, they had absolutely no interest in the internal strength that involved self-control, rather they were extremely immoral in their lifestyle. It seems that Western, society which is described as being the spiritual descendant of Esav, also attributes great importance to external power, such as the ability to influence other people through one’s wealth. Moreover there is almost no emphasis on self-control; instead, many people’s goals in life involve attaining as much power and personal pleasure as possible. We have seen how Yitzchak Avinu excelled in the trait of gevura, and that he believed that his son Esav could also exercise this trait to overcome his natural inclinations. However, Esav chose to use his gevura to further his own desires and dominate others. The Torah outlook clearly emphasizes the value of self-control, and deemphasizes the importance of external power. This is most clearly demonstrated in the Mishna in Avos. “Who is strong? He who subdues his inclination, as it says, ‘He who is slow to anger is better than the strong man, and a master of passions is better than a conqueror of a city.” We learn from here that the strength that the Torah acclaims is that which Yitzchak excelled in – overcoming one’s natural inclinations in order to do HaShem’s will. This form of power, the Mishna tells us, is what we should aspire to. It is true that just as the Avos made particular emphasis on one particular trait, so too each person naturally leans to one such trait. Nevertheless, it is also clear that no matter what one’s natural inclination is, each person needs to express all these traits at some points. Thus, each person must apply the lessons with regard to gevura to his own life. We see from the contrast between Esav and Yitzchak, that one must be very careful to express the trait of gevura in the correct way. It is far easier to apply it in the wrong fashion, using it to dominate or control other people. It is far more difficult, but ultimately far more rewarding, to control oneself. A person who dominates others will still feel himself a slave to his passions, and satisfying these passions will never provide him with true contentment. Whereas, one who has true self-control of himself, can be free to express himself in the optimum fashion. May we all merit to achieve true gevura..

תולדות – מקורה של ברכה יהונתן גפן

בס"ד תולדות – מקורה של ברכה יהונתן גפן כאשר משתלט הרעב על ארץ ישראל, מתכנן יצחק אבינו לרדת למצרים. אולם הקב"ה מצווה עליו להישאר בארץ ישראל וללכת אל הפלישתים, הקב"ה מברך אותו בברכה גדולה: "והרביתי את-זרעך ככוכבי השמים ונתתי לזרעך את כל-הארצת האל והתברכו בזרעך כל גויי הארץ. עקב אשר-שמע אברהם בקלי וישמר משמרתי מצו‍תי חקותי ותורתי" דעות המפרשים חלוקות בפירוש המילה "משמרתי" בה משתמשת התורה לתאר את צדקותו של אברהם אבינו. ה"ספורנו" מפרש מילה זו בצורה מחודשת; הוא כותב שהכוונה היא שאברהם 'עשה תמיד המשמרת המיוחדת לי, שהיא לגמל חסד' בכך משבח הקב"ה את אברהם על היותו דבק כל כך במידתו של הקב"ה – מידת החסד. כל היסוד של בריאת העולם על ידי הקב"ה הינו חסד, אברהם התחקה אחר מידה יקרה זו של הקב"ה ופעל בעשיית חסד באופן הנעלה ביותר – הוא העניק לבני דורו את ההזדמנות להתקרב אל בוראם. ה"ספורנו" ממשיך באותו קטע לבאר קושיה חזקה הקיימת בפסוק זה: בשני מקומות בפרשה ה' מברך את יצחק, אולם – אך ורק בזכותו של אברהם. הפעם הראשונה היא בפסוק שהבאנו, והשניה היא לאחר סיום המעשה עם אבימלך בפלישתים; "" - כל זאת בניגוד לברכותיהם של אברהם ויעקב שתמיד התברכו בזכות עצמם ולא בזכות אבותיהם. הספורנו מסביר כי גם אברהם וגם יעקב היו מלמדים אחרים החל משלב מוקדם מאד בחייהם. מעשיו של אברהם ידועים הם, הספורנו כותב כי יעקב לימד אנשים שבאו לישיבת שם ועבר . ולכן ברכותיהם של אברהם ויעקב היו בזכות מעשיהם בימי חייהם. לעומתם יצחק לא פרסם בעולם את שם ה' עד כה, וכתוצאה מכך לא זכה להתברך בזכות מעשיו הוא. יצחק קיבל ברכה בזכות עצמו אך ורק לאחר שלמד ממעשי אביו וכן קרא בשם ה': "" , ומיד לאחר מכן, מופיע אבימלך על מנת לכרות עמו ברית שלום, והוא מסיים את דבריו בקראו ליצחק "" , זוהי הנקודה, כותב הספורנו, בה יצחק מתברך בזכות עצמו. הרב אלישיב שליט"א מעיר ומדגיש את המשתמע מפירוש זה של הספורנו. יצחק אבינו היה אחד משלושת האבות, הוא היה מוכן למסור את נפשו למען ציווי ה' בעקידה, קדושתו מגיעה עד כדי כך שאין הוא רשאי לצאת מארץ ישראל. למרות כל זאת, נראה מהפסוקים אודותיו כאילו אין לו כל זכות עד אשר יקרא בשם ה'! וכך כותב הר' אלישיב: " מכאן רואים את הזכות העצומה והשכר הגדול שמגיע לאדם המפרסם את שם ה' בעולם". עדיין יש צורך להבין כיצד צדקותו העצומה של יצחק לא הספיקה לו כדי שיתברך בזכות עצמו, עד אשר הוא פרסם את שם ה' בעולם. ר' חיים וולוז'ין זצ"ל מסביר ש"ברכה" משמעותה ריבוי – ומטרתה של הברכה היא להשפיע גדילה, ריבוי או המשך טוב במתברך. על פי זה, מסביר מורי ורבי ר' יצחק ברקוביץ שליט"א שאדם ראוי לקבלת ברכה של ריבוי אך ורק אם אף הוא תורם לריבוי והמשכת טוב בעולם בכך שגורם לאחרים ללכת בדרך התורה. בהתאם לכך, על אף כל מעשיו הגדולים, יצחק קיבל ברכה בזכות עצמו – רק כאשר הוא בעצמו תרם לעלייתם של אחרים וגרם שילכו בדרך התורה. השאלה שנותרה היא מדוע לא קרא יצחק בשם ה' עד לאותו שלב של בניית המזבח. הר' אליישיב מסביר שכיוון שאביו של יצחק כבר פרסם את שם ה' בעולם, לא היה צורך שגם יצחק יעשה זאת. אולם, כותב הר' אלישיב, ניתן לראות מכך עד כמה גדול הוא השכר שקיבל יצחק ממעשה זה למרות שאביו כבר עשה זאת. לומדים מכאן לימוד גדול ומשמעותי ביותר לימינו אנו - העובדה שישנם אנשים המקדישים את זמנם ומרצם להגדיל תורה ולהאדירה אינה פוטרת אף אדם אחר מלתת את תרומתו הוא בנושא זה – בכל דרך שהיא. אדם עלול לטעון שאנשים רבים כבר עוסקים במלאכת קודש זו והוא אינו צריך לעשות זאת. הבעיה בטענה זו היא כפולה: ראשית ראינו מהספורנו שאדם מחויב להיות קשור ומעורב בקירוב אנשים לבורא – למען טובתו האישית וכדי שיהיה ראוי לברכה. ושנית – מספר האנשים העוסקים בקירוב רחוקים (כולל העוסקים בקירוב בחלק מזמנם כגון הקדשת מספר שעות לימוד בשבוע עם אדם המתקרב ליהדות, או אירוח יהודים רחוקים לשבתות) הוא זעום ביותר ביחס למספרם של היהודים שאינם שומרים תורה ומצוות, אשר מליונים מתוכם אובדים לעם היהודי . הדרך היחידה לעצור נחשול גאה וכואב זה היא אם כל יהודי יקבל על עצמו להקדיש מזמנו לקירוב רחוקים. ואכן, עובדה ידועה היא שהגדולים הורו לכל בן תורה לתרום מזמנו היקר על מנת לקרב יהודים רחוקים: הרב משה פיינשטיין זצ"ל הוציא "קול קורא" לבני ישיבה בשנת 1973 שם הוא מתאר כיצד משה רבנו לא רצה בתחילה להנהיג את עם ישראל. אולם, כאשר היה ברור לו שאין עוד אף אחד מלבדו שמתאים לתפקיד זה, הוא לקח על עצמו את התפקיד ביתר שאת. וכך כתב: "כשם שנענה משה רבנו לבקשתו של ה', כשאמר לו שהוא מחויב, כיון שאין מישהו אחר, כך בדיוק מחויבים תלמידי הישיבה... אין אף אחד אחר שמתאים ומוכשר לתפקיד זה... בתנאים ונסיבות כאלה, חייבים להמעיט מלימוד התורה הפרטי"(תרגום חפשי) הוא קובע כי "כמו במצות הצדקה, בה מחויב אדם לתת מעשר מהכנסותיו לעניים, כך חייב אדם לתת מעשר מזמנו, על מנת לקרב אחרים לתורה. כל אדם נהנה מגדולים ממנו, המאצילים עליו ותורמים לו, וכך בדיוק עליו לתת ולתרום מזמנו לאחרים הזקוקים לכך" עוד גדולים אחרים קראו לאברכים בקריאה דומה. הרב וולבה זצ"ל, בארץ ישראל, המליץ ושכנע אברכים להקדיש לילה אחד בשבוע לבקר משפחות חילוניות, ולהאיר בביתם את אור התורה והיהדות. תלמידי חכמים גדולים בכל הדורות ניצלו תמיד כל הזדמנות ללכת בדרכו של אברהם אבינו, ולהשקיע כל מאמץ על מנת לקרב יהודים לבוראם. המגיד שיעור הידוע ר' מנדל קפלן זצ"ל השקיע רבות בהתידדות עם אנשים שאינם שומרי תורה ומצוות ובכל עת שפגש אי מי מהם היה מלמדם. כולל גם ילדים קטנים. פעם אחת הביאה מזכירה חילוניה בישיבה את בנה בן התשע איתה לעבודה. כאשר ר' מנדל ראה את הילד הקטן משחק במסדרונות הישיבה, הוא קרא לו, הצביע על חומש ושאלו: "היודע אתה מה זה?" "ודאי" ענה הילד, "זהו חומש", לקח ר' מנדל שתי כיסאות ישב עם הילד למשך שעה ולימד אותו חומש ברמה שהתאימה להבנתו. מאוחר יותר שאל אותו מישהו מדוע הוא הקדיש כל כך הרבה מזמנו היקר למען ילד בן תשע. ענה ר' מנדל: "אני מקווה שנטעתי גרעין אשר יגדל ויפרח בעוד שנים" אנו עלולים לחשוב כי לא יכולה להיות לנו השפעה על יהודים אלה, אולם אף אחד אינו יכול לדעת איזה גרעין הוא נטע, שמא יפרח הוא ויצמח בעוד שנים רבות וקשה יהיה לקשר בין הנטיעה לצמיחה. הר' קפלן היה תלמיד חכם עצום, הוא הגיע לרמות גבוהות ביותר בלימוד התורה ובצדקותו, אולם, הוא הבין שכל זה לא פוטר אותו מהאחריות לחפש אחר הזדמנויות "לקרא בשם ה'". לומדים מהספורנו שגם אדם צדיק אינו ראוי לברכה בזכות עצמו עד אשר יפרסם את שמו של ה' בעולם. מוסיף הר' אליישיב ומלמד כי טענה בנוסח – אנשים אחרים כבר פועלים ועושים – אינה תקפה ואינה מתקבלת. ייתן ה' ונזכה לממש את תפקידנו ולקרא בשם ה'.

תולדות – יצחק אבינו יהונתן גפן

בס"ד תולדות – יצחק אבינו יהונתן גפן התורה מקדישה שלוש פרשיות לתיאור מעשי אברהם אבינו, ושלוש פרשיות לחייו של יעקב אבינו. לעומת זאת, רק פרשת תולדות מתמקדת ביצחק אבינו. ואף בפרשה זו מתוארת רק פרשיה אחת בה היה מעורב רק יצחק אבינו ולא אחר מהאבות; והיא תיאור התקופה בה היה יצחק בגרר – ארץ פלישתים. בעקבות הרעב שפקד את ארץ ישראל נאלץ יצחק לעבור לגרר. בהגיעו לשם הוא מודיע שרבקה אשתו – היא אחותו, כפי שעשה אביו אברהם שנים קודם לכן. לאחר מכן מתארת התורה באריכות כיצד סתמו הפלישתים את הבארות שחפר אברהם, וכיצד פתח אותם יצחק שנית. יצחק סבל מעוינות קשה מצד אנשי המקום הפלישתים, ובסופו של דבר הוא כורת ברית עם אבימלך מלכם. במבט שטחי קשה מאד לשאוב כל לימוד משמעותי מסיפור זה, אולם האמת היא שמכאן ניתן לקחת את המפתח להבנת מהותו של יצחק אבינו. המאפיין הבולט ביותר במעשי יצחק הוא שהם דומים מאד למעשי אביו. כאשר היה רעב בימי אברהם הוא פנה לארץ מצרים; יצחק רצה לעשות כן גם כעת, אולם הקב"ה מורה לו לא לעזוב את ארץ ישראל. ואז הוא שב אל הבארות שאביו חפר – ופותח אותם מחדש, הוא קורא להם את אותם שמות שקרא להם אביו . רבינו בחיי כותב שממעשי יצחק כאן נלמד עניין המסורה. עד עולם, בכל עתיד עם ישראל – בן ילך אחר אביו . יצחק לא רצה לסטות אף בפסיעה אחת מהדרך שהתווה לו אביו. ר' מתתיהו סלמון שליט"א מבאר את תפקידו של יצחק מבין האבות: אברהם היה הראשון – ה"חלוץ"; הוא הניח את היסודות ושרטט את הקווים המנחים את עם ישראל לדורותיו. עבודתו של יצחק הייתה לקבל ולגבש את כל מעשי אביו, לצעוד במדויק בדרך שהתווה, ובכך להנחיל לדורות הבאים את עניין המסורה. עבודת חייו של יצחק לא הייתה לסלול שבילים חדשים אלא לצעד באמונה בעקבות אביו. ולכן כאשר פוקד רעב את הארץ הוא מיד מתכנן לרדת למצרים, כיוון שכך עשה אביו. וכאשר הוא מגיע לגרר – הוא חופר בדיוק את אותן בארות שחפר אביו, וקורא להם בדיוק בשמות שנתן להן אביו . מצד שני, ישנו מאפיין בולט נוסף בחיי יצחק אבינו שנראה לכאורה סותר את העיקרון של הצעידה העקבית אך ורק בדרכי אביו. חז"ל אומרים שאברהם ויצחק היו בעלי מבנה אישיות שונה לחלוטין; אברהם מיצג את מידת החסד – נתינה ללא גבול ומידה לכל אחד ואחד. יצחק, לעומת זאת מאופיין במידת הדין והגבורה. האמת היא שחלק עיקרי בגדולתו של יצחק הוא העובדה שהוא לא היווה העתק מושלם של אביו; ניתן לראות זאת בהסבר חז"ל מדוע תפילתו של יצחק להיפקד בילד נענתה קודם שנענתה תפילת רבקה. רש"י מביא את דברי הגמרא שאומרת ש"אינה דומה תפילת צדיק בן צדיק לתפילת צדיק בן רשע" . לכאורה קשה מאד להבין זאת, אדם שהתגבר על השפעה שלילית שהיתה עליו בצעירותו והפך לצדיק, אמור לכאורה להחשב בעל זכויות גדולות יותר מאדם אחר שנולד להורים צדיקים. התשובה היא שצדיק בן צדיק מתמודד עם ניסיון קשה עוד יותר – שלא להיות העתק בלבד של אביו. אברהם אבינו היה המודל לחיקוי הגדול ביותר שיכול אדם לראות מולו, הטבעי והפשוט ביותר עבור יצחק היה לנסות לחקות כל מעשה ומעשה של אביו. אולם יצחק לא הסתפק בכך; הוא סלל את דרכו שלו בדרך העולה בית קל. ראינו שמצד אחד יצחק מיצג את עניין המסורה, שלא לסור ימין ושמאל מדרך אבותינו. ומצד שני, אישיותו של יצחק הייתה שונה לחלוטין מזו של אביו! כיצד ניתן להבין שני מאפיינים סותרים אלה של יצחק? האמת הברורה היא שאין כאן כל סתירה; כל יהודי ויהודי נולד כחוליה בשלשלת הדורות המתחילה באברהם אבינו; אנו מחוייבים לדבוק באמונה בכל עיקרי ההשקפה, ההוראות והנחיות שמנחילה לנו שלשלת המסורה. אדם לא יכול לחדש לעצמו השקפות או הנהגות; ישנה מסורת המדריכה אותו כיצד לחיות את חייו. אולם עם זאת, אין הכוונה שכל החוליות בשרשרת תהיינה בהכרח זהות לחלוטין – ישנן דרכים רבות בהן יכול אדם לבטא את עצמו ואת אישיותו המיוחדת בתוך דרך המסורה. ה"חפץ חיים" זצ"ל שואל מדוע מדגישה התורה ש"עץ החיים" עמד דווקא ב"תוך" הגן – באמצע גן עדן. הוא משיב שישנו גרעין אחד של אמת מרכזית, וסביבו מתאספות המוני נקודות של אמת ומרחק כל נקודה מהמרכז שווה. כך, ישנן גישות ודעות רבות לאין מספר בתוך היהדות, כל אחת מהן מתאימה לשטחים אחרים ולתכונות אופי שונות. אולם כל עוד דרכים אלה עומדות בתוך גבולות המסורה – כולן שייכות וקשורות לאמת המרכזית . בישיבה אחת היה מודגש במיוחד הרעיון שהאדם לא צריך להכניס את עצמו דווקא לתוך תבנית מסוימת, אלא כל אחד יתפתח בהתאם לאישיותו, ישיבת סלבודקה. הסבא מסלבודקה הדגיש מאד את ייחודיותו של כל אחד ואחד. הוא חשש מקבלת מגידי שיעורים ומשגיחים בישיבתו שאישיותם קוסמת וכריזמטית מידי שמא יסחפו אחריהם את התלמידים ויגרמו להם לשאוף להיות חיקוי מושלם של רבותיהם . ר' ירוחם ליבוביץ זצ"ל, המשגיח הגדול של ישיבת מיר ביקר פעם אצל הסבא. ביום הראשון של הביקור הסבא הוכיח אותו בתקיפות רבה עד שכל הישיבה יכולה היתה לשמוע את הקולות מבעד לדלת הסגורה. תוכחה זו נמשכה יום אחרי יום קרוב לשבוע. מה הפריע לסבא? הוא הרגיש שר' ירוחם הוא כל כך אהוב וכריזמטי עד שהוא הופך את בחורי ישיבת מיר ל"כפילים" שלו – כל בחור ובחור הוא כדוגמת ר' ירוחם – במקום להניח להם לפתח ולבטא את אישיותם הייחודית . ר' יעקב קמינצקי אימץ גישה דומה בתחום ההשקפה – גישתו הייתה שאם אדם נוטה לכיוון זרם מסוים ביהדות, אל לו להימנע מלהיכנס ולהתערב בזרם זה, גם אם הוא נוגד את דרך ההשקפה של הוריו ומשפחתו. משפחה מסוימת שהייתה קרובה לר' יעקב הוכתה בהלם כאשר בנם הצעיר הודיע להם שהוא מעוניין להיות חסיד סקווער. הם נכנסו עם בנם לר' יעקב מתוך ציפיה שהוא ישכנע את בנם שבנים למשפחות ליטאיות לא נהפכים לפתע לחסידים. להפתעתם, ר' יעקב הקדיש את זמנו כדי להבהיר להם שאין שום בעיה בכך שבנם מעוניין לצעוד בדרך שונה מהם בעבודת ה'. הוא הסביר שמן הסתם יש לבנם צורך רגשי מסוים, והוא מרגיש שיוכל להגיע על סיפוקו אם יהפוך לחסיד, עליהם לכבד רגשות אלה. ר' יעקב אף המליץ להם על צעד נוסף, קיצוני הרבה יותר ממה שתיארו לעצמם – לשלוח את הבן לישיבת סקווער ! העיקרון שישנן דרכים רבות שונות וכשרות לכל יהודי שומר תורה ומצוות בהן יכול הוא לבטא את עצמו ואישיותו – קשור לשטחים רבים בחיינו, כפיתוח תכונות אופי, לימוד התורה והשקפה: בכל חברה שהיא ישנה נטייה מסוימת לסוג אחר של תכונות אופי וכוחות נפש – שהם הנחשבים יותר מהאחרים. לדוגמא, אדם חברותי ובטוח בעצמו בדרך כלל נחשב חיובי מאד, לעומת זאת הבישן והחששן בדרך כלל פחות נחשב בחברה. הורה חברותי ומוחצן מאד לילד מפנם יותר עלול לראות באופיו השקט של בנו פגם מסוים ולנסות לדחוף אותו לשנות את מזגו. אולם, סביר ביותר שהוא רק יצליח לגרום לו להאמין שמשהו בו לוקה בחסר. זוהי עבודתו של כל הורה ומחנך – לקבל את העובדה שייתכן ובניו יהיו שונים ממנו, לקבלם בדיוק כפי שהם ולכוונם לפי כוחותיהם ואישיותם המיוחדת. בדומה לכך, ייתכן מצב בו ילד מתקשה לשבת זמן ממושך ולהתרכז בלימוד. אם ההורה או המורה לוחץ יותר מידי על הילד שילמד, קיים סיכון שכאשר יגדל הילד – הוא יבעט בכל הקשור ללימוד . אפילו בתוך עולם לימוד התורה אדם עלול לחוש לפעמים לא מסופק ממתכונת של לימוד גמרא במשך כל היום. ישנם רבים הנהנים מהעמקה בשטחים אחרים של התורה כנביא, השקפה ומוסר. היה מומלץ (על פי הדרכת רבנים) לעודד בנים ותלמידים בעלי נטיות כאלה לפנות ללימוד בשטחים אלה במקום לגרום להם להרגיש לא שייכים לעולם התורה רק בשל העובדה שהם מתקשים בלימוד הגמרא, מצב הגורם להם במקרים רבים לעזוב את הכל . וכפי שראינו מסיפורו של ר' יעקב, אין מה לדאוג אם יש ילד או תלמיד אחד הבוחר לפתח את עולם היהדות שלו בדרך שונה מהוריו. יש לציין כי אמנם חינוך הבנים הוא השטח בו רעיון זה משמעותי ביותר, עם זאת גם לגבי עבודת ה' האישית שלנו שייך נושא זה. גם אנו עלולים לחוות לפעמים תחושה של "לא בעניינים". מוסכמות החברה בה אנו חיים לא תמיד תפורים בדיוק על פי מידותינו. במקרים רבים נוכל להגיע לסיפוק בעבודת ה', בעבודת המידות או בלימוד, אם נרשה לעצמנו לבטא את הכוחות האישיים הגלומים בנו. ללא ספק, מעשים אלו חייבים להיעשות על פי הנחיה, ותוך היצמדות מוחלטת למסורת הנתונה לנו. עד כמה חשוב לעודד בני אדם לבטא את ייחודיותם בתוך עולם התורה? אמרנו קודם שהישיבה שהדגישה ביותר רעיון זה הייתה סלבוקה. אם נבחן את פירותיהן של הישיבות הגדולות בדור הקודם – ניווכח לראות באופן ברור שישיבת סלבודקה הוציאה תחת ידה את המספר הגדול מאד של גדולי תורה . ומה שבולט מאד בגדולי עולם אלא הוא עד כמה היו הם שונים זה מזה. על ידי שהתייחס הסבא מסלבודקא באופן מיוחד לייחודיות של כל אחד ואחד עלה בידו להוציא את הטוב ביותר מכל תלמידיו. אם אנו נלך בעקבותיו יגדלו עד מאד סיכויינו להעניק לעצמנו, לילדינו ולתלמידנו הרבה יותר שמחה והצלחה בכל שטח בחיים!

TOLDOT – ISAAC – THE MIDDLE STAGE IN SERVING GOD

TOLDOT – ISAAC – THE MIDDLE STAGE IN SERVING GOD The Torah devotes a great deal of time to discussing the lives of Abraham and Jacob, detailing numerous events pertaining to them. In contrast, Isaac receives relatively little attention to the extent that there is only one Torah portion in which he is the central character; that of Toldot, and even in that portion there is only one story that features Yitzchak without any other Forefather. This is all the more striking given that Yitzchak lived a longer life than both his father and his son. Accordingly, it could seem more difficult to derive lessons from the life of the middle of the patriarch. However, on deeper analysis it seems possible that the paucity of the account of Yitzchak’s life provides us with a vital clue into understanding his role in Avodat HaShem (Divine service) and how that is relevant to our own lives. The Gemara in Pesachim tells us that the Patriarchs described the Temple in different ways. Abraham called it a mountain; Isaac a field; and Jacob a house. The commentaries explain that these different descriptions teach us many lessons about how each Patriarch related to Avodat HaShem. One aspect of these explanations is the contrast in the variety that is found in the three terms. A mountain provides a fascinating view, incorporating numerous variations in the formation of the rocks, and rising up to great heights. This symbolizes the eventful life of Abraham whereby he scaled untold heights in teaching about the existence of one God in the world. A house is the location of many vital events in a person’s life, and particularly represents one’s daily, mundane life. It symbolizes the fact that for much of Jacob’s life he was forced to be involved in very mundane activities such as dealing with tricksters such as Laban and working for many hours in the fields. And yet he succeeded in elevating these seemingly unholy activities and making them holy. In this vein, what is the significance of the symbolism of a field with regard to the Avodat HaShem of Isaac? Unlike a mountain, a field does not offer a fascinating view with great variety, and unlike a house, it is not full of a variety of objects. Rather, a field is a flat, featureless phenomenon. Yet it is simultaneously a place of great significance; it is the subject of intense work aimed at making the field yield as much produce as possible. This description can help us understand how Yitzchak related to Avodat HaShem. Isaac’s Avodat HaShem was characterized by intense self-growth and self-nullification. Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky notes that his character traits were far less conducive to teaching and inspiring large numbers of people than those of Abraham and Jacob. Moreover, we do not see that he was involved in physicality to the same extent as Jacob. Yitzchak’s niche was far more connected to the realm of self-perfection, intense work on nullifying his own physical desires and solely acting according to God’s will. With this explanation we can now delve deeper into the significance of the Torah’s limited account of the events in Yitzchak’s life. The reason seems to be quite simply that such incidents didn’t take place in his life. His role was not to teach hundreds of people, rather his avoda was to work diligently on his own Avodat HaShem and self-nullification. This kind of spiritual work by its very nature is not characterized by excitement rather it involves slow, gradual, and difficult self-development. And yet in a certain way Isaac’s form of Avoda is perhaps the most important of that of all the Patriarchs in that it is the stage in one’s life that defines a person’s spiritual fortitude for his own life. This idea is demonstrated by a concept that is discussed by Rav Akiva Tatz in his book, ‘Living Inspired’. He explains that there are three stages in many aspects of life. The first is the ‘inspiration’ stage, whereby a person begins a certain endeavor or relationship and is given a great surge of inspiration. The second stage takes place when the initial inspiration wears off and is replaced by a realization that this endeavor is not so easy after all. This stage calls for a great deal of persistence and hard work and often without seeing tangible fruits to one’s hard work. The third and final stage takes place after the hard work, where a person finally feels the fruits of all his efforts. This is a far deeper and satisfying feeling than in the first stage because the inspiration of the first stage is not earned, whereas the third stage comes about due to a person’s efforts. A good example of this phenomenon is the relationship of man and wife. At the beginning of a relationship both people feel a great deal of excitement about the relationship and ‘feel’ that they are in love, when in truth they are infatuated. The second stages takes place when that initial excitement wears off and the couple faces the realization that marriage involves a great deal of hard work and self development. If both spouses do exert the necessary effort then they will at some point reach the third stage of a genuine feeling of deep love. The three Patriarchs correspond to the three stages: Abraham represents the exciting beginning and Jacob relates to the final phase of perfection. Isaach embodies the middle stage, where the excitement has faded and now a lot of hard work is required. This pattern is extremely pertinent to all aspects of Avodat HaShem. When a person begins a spiritual journey he feels a great sense of inspiration at the new vistas open to him, yet soon after he comes to the realization that in order to be an Eved HaShem one must work very hard. For example, in order to become a genuine Torah scholar, a person must go through the excruciating process of learning an unfamiliar language, and then approach the numerous difficulties involved in understanding a Gemara. But after all that effort, when he completes a section of learning the person feels a truly satisfying feeling of completion as a result of great effort. This is the relevance of Isaac to our lives: He represents that stage of life which is not necessarily exciting and does not involve dramatic events, rather it involves self-development. When we view great Torah sages we are usually exposed to the great events of their later life but it is clear that they all attained their greatness through years of devoted Torah study and self-growth. One elderly man had learnt in the same Yeshiva as the great Rav Moshe Feinstein when they were young. He was asked to relate stories from Rav Moshe’s time in Yeshiva. He answered that there were no stories – all that Rav Moshe did in yeshiva was learn! It was that consistent, determined learning that created the leading Torah sage whom we know so much about. We have developed a much deeper understanding of the significance of Isaac in our lives. This is relevant to a person regardless of his stage in life. For a younger person, it teaches him that in order to achieve greatness he must first be willing to put in a considerable amount of time and effort into developing his Torah learning, character traits and relationship to God. For people who are in a later phase of life, the lesson is that it is still essential that he find some time in his daily life to focus on his spiritual development, which includes a fixed time for Torah study and a cheshbon hanefesh (accounting of the soul) devoted to self-growth. May we all emulate our father Isaac and make the necessary efforts to achieve the third stage where we can really appreciate the fruits of our hard work.

INSIGHTS IN RASHI: CHAYEI SARAH – ELIEZER’S HIDDEN INTENT

INSIGHTS IN RASHI: CHAYEI SARAH – ELIEZER’S HIDDEN INTENT Yehonasan Gefen Bereishis, 24:39: “And I said to my master, ‘Perhaps ((אלי the woman will not follow me?” Rashi, Bereishis, 24:39, sv. Perhaps: אלי is written [without the ‘vav’]: Eliezer had a daughter and he was searching for a way in which Avraham would turn to him [so that Yitzchak] would marry his daughter. When Avraham instructed his faithful servant, Eliezer to search for a wife for Yitzchak, Eliezer asked what would happen if, perhaps, the woman would not want to come with him. In the initial account of his discussion with Avraham, the hebrew word for perhaps, אולי, is spelled in the normal way (with a vav). However, when he retold the story the Torah spells the wordאלי without the vav. This alludes to a different word meaning “to me” which alludes to us that Eliezer was hoping that he would not find a wife for Yitzchak on his travels and therefore Yitzchak should come “to him” to marry his daughter. The commentaries ask why the Torah only made this allusion the second time that Eliezer said these words; it would have seemed more logical to tell us on the first occasion? The Kotsker Rebbe zt”l explains that the first time Eliezer expressed his reservations he was not consciously aware of his underlying hope that Yitzchak would marry his daughter. Therefore there is no allusion to his selfish motives at that time. The reason for this was that he was unable to view the situation totally objectively and realize that he had ulterior motives. After he had found a wife for Yitzchak he could have a totally unbiased view of what had happened. He then recognized retroactively that the root cause of his objection to Avraham was the hidden hope that his own daughter would marry Yitzchak. The Kotzker Rebbe’s explanation demonstrates how easily one can get caught in the trap of selfish motives without even realizing. A person can only recognize these motives with the benefit of the objectivity that comes after the event, but by then it is often too late. How can a person avoid this problem at the time that it takes place? The Mishna in Avos helps answer this question: It instructs us: “...Acquire for yourself a friend. ” Rabbeinu Yonah writes that one of the benefits of having a friend is that he can help you in observing Mitzvos. “Even when a friend is no more righteous than him and sometimes he even acts improperly, nonetheless he does not want a friend to do the same [action], because he has no benefit from it. ” He then brings as a proof to this idea the principle that “a person does not sin on behalf of someone else.” This means that a generally observant person usually sins because he is blinded by some kind of desire for pleasure, however with regard to someone else we presume that he is not blinded in the same way and therefore we do not suspect him of sinning on behalf of others. This idea is applied in a number of places throughout the Gemara . Rabbeinu Yonah thus teaches us the importance of acquiring at least one friend who can act as an objective onlooker towards our own actions and warn us when ulterior motives are clouding our reasoning. This friend need not necessarily be on a higher level than ourselves – it is his objectivity that makes him more able to discern our true intentions. In this way we can hope to avoid the pitfalls of being clouded by the yester hara and can attain clarity in the underlying motives for our actions.

CHAYEI SARAH - THE BATTLE OF BODY AND SOUL

CHAYEI SARAH - THE BATTLE OF BODY AND SOUL By Yehonasan Gefen After enduring the nisayon of the Akeida and the death of his wife, Avraham Avinu is forced to enter into lengthy negotiations with the wily Efron in order to acquire a burial plot for Sarah Imainu. Finally, he buys it for the extortionate sum of 400 silver pieces. The commentators note that Efron’s name is spelt with a ‘vav’ in every instance except for the passuk in which the transaction finally takes place, in that passuk, his name is lacking the ‘vav’. Rashi explains that Efron spoke a lot but did little, he initially told Avraham that he was willing to give away the land, but in the end, he charged a very high price, as a result his value decreases The Baal HaTurim makes a different observation about the missing ‘vav’. He notes that the gematria of the name Efron without a ‘vav’ is 400, the same as the amount of money that he earned from this transaction ! What is the significance of this? Rav Elchonon Fishman Shlita explains that when Efron acquired this money it gave him a new sense of value - now he saw himself as ‘worth’ 400 sliver pieces. Efron’s self-estimation was dependent upon his financial status. He fell prey to the common yetser hara of emphasizing his material status over his spiritual standing. There is a natural tendency to do this because, since Chet Adam HaRishon, man is far more aware of his body than his soul. Rav Motty Berger Shlita observes that we tend to identify ourselves as our body - for example, when a person is sick, he says, “I am not feeling well,” seeing his body as his main identity. A more accurate statement would be, “my body is not feeling well,” implying that our soul is the ikar part of us. An essential part of our Avodas Hashem is to develop greater awareness of our soul and its needs. We can gain a deeper understanding of the body-soul relationship by making a further observation about the Baal HaTurim’s gematria. When Efron received the money he surely felt that he had increased his importance in the world - now he was a wealthy man. However, he actually lost a letter to his name and we know that a person’s name represents his essence. This indicates that his ‘real value’ as a person went down. Moreover, it is significant that the letter that he lost to his name was the ‘vav’. The ‘vav’ is the letter of connection; it means ‘and’ - it joins concepts and nouns together. It’s shape also signifies it’s connecting ability; it is shaped like a hook with which we can connect two things together. When Efron gained in physicality he went down in spirituality and lost an element of connection with Hashem. When a person gives more importance to his body, then, mimayla, his soul will suffer. The inverse relationship between body and soul is also alluded to in next week’s parsha. The navi tells Rivka that the two babies inside her will develop into two conflicting nations and that when one of these falls, the other will rise. The pshat of this passuk is that the nations of Klal Yisroel and Edom will counter-balance each other, when one ascends the other declines. But there are commentaries who see another battle alluded to in this passuk - they say that Yaakov represents the soul, and Esav the body; there is a continual battle between these two forces. If the soul is in the ascendancy then the body will consequently weaken, and if the soul weakens then the body will correspondingly rise. A striking example of this is a story involving Beis Yosef: He was often visited by a Malach due to his great spiritual level. However, for a few days, the Malach stopped appearing to him. He was told that the reason for this was that on one hot day the Beis Yosef spent a little too much time searching for cold water. This slight focus on his bodily needs effected a decline in his spiritual level to the extent that he was not now on the level to speak to the Malach! We see from these sources that it is impossible for a person to be devoted to both his body and his soul. A person may think that this is not the case - he can be osek in Torah and mitzvos and simultaneously strive to attain physical satisfaction. However, ultimately this kind of person is merely a slave to his body; it may allow him to do mitzvos but if he cannot pull himself away from his desires for food and money then that is a sure sign that the body is in the ascendancy. Rav Shlomo Brevda Shlita demonstrates this point with two stories. He once sent a promising yeshiva bachur to America to learn in a very good yeshiva. When the boy arrived there he was impressed with the hasmada of the bachurim. However, he was equally surprised at the lunch break - those same bachurim who had learnt with such vigor were now filling their stomachs with equally great zest! Rav Brevda says that these bachurim were slaves to their bodies. In another instance, Rav Brevda was speaking to a large number of religious teenage girls. At one point in his lecture, he said that the purpose of life is not to live in the nicest house with the most beautiful furniture. Later that day a teacher came to him, saying that one girl in the audience was experiencing a great deal of confusion. She had been brought up in an observant home in which it was stressed that it is essential to live the high life in terms of materialistic comforts. After hearing Rav Brevda’s words she realized that he was right and that she had been taught an attitude that is alien to the true Torah outlook. Rav Brevda argues that there is supposed to be a milchama between the body and soul. The body is very powerful and often overcomes our drive for spirituality but as long as we at least recognize that there is a battle, then we can begin to strengthen our soul. However, he argues that for many fully observant Jews there is no battle - there is no conflict when a person is, for example, faced with the opportunity to eat a piece of cake when he is not at all hungry - he gulps it down without thinking. But worst of all is that he doesn’t even realize that his body is in total control of his being. What can person do to at least join the battle? David HaMelech tells us that there are two ways of working on oneself - to leave evil and do good . ‘Leaving evil’ refers here to weakening the hold of the body. Rav Brevda offers a suggestion of how we can begin to do this; when we eat a main meal, we should only eat one serving - we are allowed to take as much as we want for that serving but we should at least develop the ability to refrain ourselves from taking more - this way we have at least began the milchama with our body. But we should also focus on the ‘aseh tov’ - by growing in spirituality we will automatically weaken our bond to physicality. Rav Noach Orlowek Shlita was once asked by a bachur that he looked forward to lunch more than mincha - how could he work on this failing? Rav Orlowek answered that he should strive to appreciate tefilla more, by doing so he will thereby inevitably feel less excited about physical enjoyment. Rav Brevda offers a suggestion about how to do this as well - for the first ten minutes of pesukey dezimra a person should do his utmost to only focus on his siddur and not look around. By doing this he can shut out the distractions that prevent him from focusing solely on the tefilla. Rav Brevda says that people have told him that this exercise has drastically improved their Avodas Hashem. The battle between body and soul is long and challenging, however, if we at least join the battle then it is in our hands to succeed. The Maharal makes a vital point on the Rashi about the conflicting fortunes of Yaakov and Esav . He notes that Rashi says that when Yaakov falls, Esav rises but not the other way around. He explains that Yaakov is in control of who is stronger - Esav only ascends as a result of Yaakov’s falings, but if Yaakov succeeds, then Esav is helpless. The same can be said with regards to the battle between body and soul. It is in a person’s control who is on the ascent - if he strives to strengthen his soul then the power of the body will inevitably wither. May we all be able to join the milchama of body and soul.

CHESED WITH CHOCHMA - CHAYEI SARAH

CHAYEI SARAH - CHESED WITH CHOCHMA By Yehonasan Gefen Avraham Avinu sends his faithful eved, Eliezer to find a suitable wife for his righteous son, Yitzchak Avinu. When Eliezer arrives at his destination he prays to Hashem to send him a sign to enable him to determine who should be Yitzchak’s wife He asks; “Let it be that the maiden to whom I shall say, ‘Please tip over your jug so I may drink’ and who replies, ‘Drink, and I will even water your camels;’ she, You will have designated for Your servant, for Yitzchak, and may I know through her that You have done kindness with my master. ” The commentaries explain that he did not merely suggest a random sign, rather he wanted to ascertain that the future Matriarch would have a highly developed sense of kindness. The commentaries see in the exactness of his prayer that it was not sufficient that she merely respond to his request for water; he planned to only ask for water for himself and he hoped that she would react on her own initiative and offer to water the camels as well. The Seforno points out that he wanted her to delve beyond his verbal request for water for himself and perceive that his true needs were far greater, and act accordingly . In a similar vein the Malbim points out that it was not sufficient that Rivka be kindhearted, rather Eliezer also wanted her to demonstrate chachma that would enable her to best serve his needs. He is further medayek Eliezer’s request; he davke asked that she tip the jug for him as opposed to him taking the jug from her and drinking himself. He hoped that rather than being angered by his supposed laziness, she would try to judge him favorably that he must have some kind of pain in his hands. Accordingly, she would realize that if he does not have the strength to hold the jug for himself, then all the more so, he would be unable to draw water for the camels. Consequently, she would perform the arduous task of watering the ten camels herself! When she successfully passed these tests, Eliezer saw that he had found an appropriate match for Yitzchak . The Seforno and Malbim show that it was not sufficient that Rivka be kind, rather she needed to demonstrate chachma that would enable her to perceive Eliezer’s true needs without him even asking her directly. We learn from here that in order to perform chesed in the most optimal way, a person must use chachma. It seems that this does not mean that he needs to have an exceedingly high IQ, rather that he develop an awareness of the people around him so that he can perceive others’ needs and provide for him rather than waiting to be approached. The Beis HaLevi derives a similar point from a passuk in the end of Megillas Esther. In extolling the praises of Mordechai as the leader of the Jewish people, the Megilla tells us that, “he was doresh tov l’amo”, that he seeked out the good for his people . The Beis HaLevi asks, surely all Torah leaders want to do good for the people, what is the uniqueness of Mordechai that he was ‘doresh tov le’amo’? He explains that Mordechai would not wait until people come to him and request from him to help him. Rather, he would preempt them by coming to them and trying to discern their needs and how he could help them . The Beis HaLevi himself exemplified the trait of understanding people's needs through his keen awareness before they even came to him. On one Seder night, he was asked if it was permissible to use milk for the Four Cups. In reply, he sent a messenger to the questioner’s home with a generous amount of wine and meat. He realized that they obviously did not have wine with which to drink the four cups. Moreover, since they were planning to drink milk, they evidently did not have any meat to eat. He acted accordingly and provided for their unasked for needs! Throughout our daily lives we encounter people who may be in need of some kind of assistance. However, very often, they are too embarrassed to explicitly ask for help. Thus, it is necessary to strive to emulate the hanhago of Rivka and work out their needs. For example, one person was found to be living in desperate poverty - how was it discovered? A friend had lent him 25 Shekalim some weeks earlier and casually asked if his friend could repay it. The borrower’s face turned white at the sheer impossibility of having to pay back such a loan. Such a reaction alerted his friend and he made some investigations and discovered that this man did not have enough money to live on the most basic level. Sometimes, the facial expression of a person, or a casual comment will indicate a certain need. It is in our power to develop an awareness to such hints and thereby greatly increase our capacity for doing chesed.