THE CHOICE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH

As we approach Rosh HaShana, it is essential for us to gain clarity as to our underlying attitudes in life. These hold the key to improving our Avodas Hashem. In Parshas Nitzavim, the Torah tells us: “See I have placed before you life and good, and death and evil...I have placed life and death before you, blessing and curse; and you shall choose life so that you and your offspring will live.”

The Torah tells us that Hashem has given us a clear choice, the ability to choose life and good, or death and evil, and it is this choice that is the foundation of our capacity to serve Hashem effectively. However, there seems to be a difficulty with the choice outlined in the passuk; the Torah says that there are two pairs of choices, one between good and evil, and one between life and death. In giving us these options, it is evident that we have the ability and inclination to choose either direction. With regard to good and evil this dichotomy is easily understood; a person will find himself in many situations in life where there will be a strong temptation for him to choose what the Torah defines as ‘evil’, because at times the wrong choice seems to be the one that will provide happiness and satisfaction. Thus, the Torah tells us that we are constantly faced with a free will battle to choose good or evil. What is far more difficult to understand is that the Torah sees that there is a difficult ‘choice’ to be made between life and death, implying that a person has a realistic inclination to choose death over life. Surely, no-one will ever find it difficult to choose life over death, there is no temptation to choose death! Accordingly, why is the choice between life and death such a difficult one to make?

Rav Noach Weinberg zt"l explains that when the Torah talks about ‘death’ it does not simply mean the state of not being alive. The Torah is warning us against what death represents. In order to understand what death means we need to develop our understanding of it’s opposite, ‘life’. When the Torah talks about life it does not merely mean breathing, rather life is the process of growing in one’s Avodas Hashem and Avodas HaMidos. Being alive means directly facing the challenges that life presents and using them to become a bigger person. Accordingly, choosing ‘death’ can mean avoiding dealing with those challenges and opting to escape the difficult opportunities that one faces throughout his life. Death is the choice of comfort over effort, of an easy life over a life full of challenge and growth. With this understanding it is easy to comprehend how choosing ‘life’ over ‘death’ constitutes a very difficult choice.

It is important to note that choosing death is not limited to failure to observe the mitzvos. A person can observe the Torah and simultaneously choose ‘death’; if he is not striving to improve himself, and not fighting his yetser hara, then he is choosing the comfortable option that is akin to a form of ‘death‘. What is frightening is that a person may not be completely aware that he is making this choice and can live his life on ‘cruise control’. If he never really pushes himself to further develop his relationship with Hashem, to daven with more kavanna, to improve his character traits, to be a better husband or father and so on, then he is choosing the comfortable option.

On a slightly deeper level, the choice between comfort and challenge is, in fact the choice between associating with one’s body or soul. Life is a constant struggle between these two contradictory forces that pull us in opposite directions. The body wants to return to the Adama (ground), from where it came; this manifests itself in a desire to lie down, rest, and experience enjoyable and ‘comfortable’ pleasures. In contrast, the soul wants to return to the Shamayim (heaven) from where it originated. This pull is represented by a desire to expand and grow. Thus, each person is constantly faced with these conflicting forces pulling him in opposite directions. The Torah in this week’s parsha tells him that in order to succeed in his tafkid (life purpose) he must choose life.

On Rosh HaShana we are not judged for our performance of specific mitzvos, rather we face a Din on who we are as a whole - what are our sheifos, what is important to us, what are our goals? The choice between living an essentially comfortable life (even if it is done in a ‘frum’ way) and striving to reach one’s potential is an essential element of the Avoda of Rosh HaShana - it defines a great deal about what is important to us.

May we all be zocheh to attain the Torah’s understanding of Chaim.
　
　
　

RESPONSIBILTY FOR OTHERS

In the past few months we have discussed the damage to Kavod Shamayim caused by the secularization of the majority of Jews in the world. We saw the need to strive to increase the Kavod Shamayim by bringing unaffiliated Jews back to their roots. There is another aspect of our Avodas Hashem that relates to helping our fellow Jew: That related to taking responsibility for others.

The Mishna in Sanhedrin (37a) says “every person is obligated to say ‘the world was created for me’”. On superficial analysis it would seem that the Mishna is preaching a self-centered approach to life, ‘the world was created for me, therefore I can do whatever I like with it’. Of course this is not the case; it is true that every person should realize that he is of great intrinsic value and that everything in the world is there for his benefit. However, the Mishna is also teaching us that one must tell himself ‘since the world was created for me, I am responsible for that world. The Jewish people in particular have been designated with this awesome task - Hashem calls us a “Kingdom of Priests” and “a Light unto the nations.” It is our job to bring the world to an awareness of Hashem and His Greatness.

It is within the Jewish people itself that the sense of mutual responsibility really comes to the fore. “You are all standing here today” (Devarim 29:9) - all of you are guarantors for each other… when one of you sins, the whole generation is damaged.” (Medrash Tanchuma, Parshas Nitzavim). Chazal tell us that at Mount Gerizim every individual Jew accepted with forty-eight covenants the responsibility for the fulfilment of mitzvos both with regards himself and all of the Jewish people. As a result every single Jew is spiritually bound up with every other Jew, and every action we take, whether positive or negative, directly effects everyone else. This concept is known as Arvus, (translated as mutual responsibility) it is not merely an idea in Aggadah and Mussar, rather it has numerous ramifications in our daily lives.

The Gemara (Rosh Hashana 29b) informs us of a fascinating halacha. When a person is obligated in a mitzvo, for example, kiddush on Shabbos, he must do the mitzvo with the bracho and then he has fulfilled his obligation. To say kiddush again with another bracho would constitute saying Hashem’s name in vain. However, the Gemara tells us, if Reuven needs to fulfil kiddush himself but is unable to, then Shimon is allowed to make kiddush again with the bracho, thereby exempting Reuven from his obligation! How can this be? The Ran explains, “because every Jew is a guarantor for each other in mitzvos, and since his friend has not fulfilled his obligation, it is as if he did not fulfil the mitzvo himself.” (ibid.) It is thus very apparent that Arvus is a halachic reality- my friend’s avodas Hashem is a part of my own. We often discuss responsibility to oneself and responsibility to others as two separate, perhaps even conflicting factors. This seems to be an inaccurate assessment - rather the two are not separate at all, they go hand in hand - the benefit of my friend is my benefit as well, his pain is my pain, and his mistakes are my mistakes. In fact, it would seem that to consider my spiritual well-being as separate from that of others is fundamentally incorrect. This concept of Arvus is the foundation upon which collective responsibility is based - in the coming months we will discuss how vital it is to our Avodas Hashem.
　

THE TRUE SOURCE OF SIMCHA - KI SAVO

A great deal of Parshas Ki Savo outlines the devastating punishments that would befall the Jewish people if they do not follow the Torah. In the midst of the tochacha the Torah gives us a deeper insight into the cause of all the terrible punishments enumerated here; “Since you did not serve Hashem, your G-d, with joy and goodness of heart, from rov kol (the abundance of everything).” The simple understanding of this passuk is that the Jewish people did not perform mitzvos with happiness despite the fact that they were blessed with the abundance of everything.

The Arizal explains the passuk according to the Kabbala in a slightly different way. He says that the Torah is saying that we may have performed mitzvos with a certain degree of happiness, however our ikar joy did not derive from shemiras hamitzvos, rather from the simcha of ‘rov kol’ which refers to all other sources of happiness. Thus, Hashem is telling the Jewish people that the simcha of Avodas Hashem must be far greater than the pleasure derived from other endeavors. This is a lesson that is of great relevance to Rosh Hashana: The main avoda of Rosh Hashana is to make Hashem King. A significant aspect of this is to recognize that Hashem is the only source of meaning, all other ‘sources’ of pleasure are meaningless. This is also a prerequisite to the teshuva process leading up to Yom Kippur. because if a person’s sheifus (desires) are not purely towards Avodas Hashem, then he will find it almost impossible to avoid sin. There will be times when his desires clash with Ratson Hashem and his shemiras hamitzvos will inevitably suffer. Thus, any teshuva he does on Yom Kippur will be tainted by his outlook on life - that Hashem is not the only source of meaning and joy.

It is important to note that even if a person somehow avoids sinning whilst pursuing his other desires he will still face unpleasant consequences. Rav Yissochor Frand Shlita tells a frightening story that illustrates this point. The Chiddushei Harim zt”l once travelled with a man on his carriage that was pulled by two horses. After a few miles, one of the horses died, causing great distress to its owner. A few miles later, the other horse also died. The owner was so distressed at the loss of his horses that meant so much to him that he sat crying for a long time until he cried so much that he died. That night, the Chiddushei Harim had a dream; in that dream he saw that the man who had died, received Olam Haba. But what was his Olam Haba? A lovely carriage with two beautiful horses. This story teaches us that our Olam Haba is created by what we value in Olam Hazeh - for this man, the most important thing in his life was his horses and carriage, therefore, that was what he got for eternity.

One may ask, it does not seem to be so bad for a person to receive in Olam Haba that which he cherishes so much in Olam Hazeh. Rav Frand answers this question. He says that when he was a young child he always wanted a slingshot with which to play with but his parents refused. Imagine if, at the time of his wedding, his parents would come to him and say, “here is the slingshot that you always wanted!” As a child, the slingshot was valuable to him, but now he has grown out of it. So too, we may strive to acquire various pleasures in Olam Hazeh, such as money or kavod, believing that they will provide us with contentment. But when we arrive in Olam Haba we will see the truth of the words of Mesillas Yesharim: “everything else [apart from closeness to Hashem] that people believe are good is nothing but emptiness.” In the Olam Haemes, we will see with perfect clarity, how meaningless are those things that we put so much energy into acquiring in this world.

The tochacha of Ki Savo is a stark reminder that it is not enough to merely observe the mitzvos, but that it must be the sole driving force in our lives. Kavod, power, money, food and any other ‘pleasure’ are all illusionary sources of meaning - making Hashem King means realizing that He is the only source of true simcha.
　
　
　
　

ELUL - A TIME OF OPPORTUNITY

Elul marks the beginning of the countdown toward the Yamim Noraim (High Holy Days). What is the significance of this month? The Ramchal writes that time is a forward-moving spiral. Every year the same spiritual forces are available on that day as in history. For example, just as on Rosh Hashanah Adam HaRishon was created, so too, every year on this day we have the potential for being re-created. What does the month of Elul correspond to in history? The Bnei Yissachar writes that it corresponds to the period before creation. What existed before creation? Only Hashem's will to do good to another, to give of Himself and thus to create the world. Accordingly, today, the month of Elul corresponds to the period before creation, when G-d is ready to give to those who want to receive. Thus these days are called 'yemai ratzon', days when Hashem's desire for us to come close to Him is manifest more than at any other time of the year.

Accordingly, Elul is the time that is most mesugal for genuine growth. In what way can a person strive to make real changes during this period? In order to answer this, it is first necessary to discuss the incorrect ways of approaching teshuva. One common occurrence is that a person does little real contemplation about what is holding him back, before Yom Kippur. When that holy day arrives, he suffices with apologizing for all this sins, without having any concrete plan of how to avoid committing them in the future. Inevitably, the day after Yom Kippur, he returns to normal, and nothing has really changed.

A more positive approach is to at least take on a small kabbala (undertaking) such as praying from a siddur. Nonetheless, my Rebbe, Rav Berkovits Shlita argues that such undertakings can distract us from the real changes that will enable us to remove the obstacles that prevent us from coming closer to Hashem.

It is also praiseworthy to learn sefarim that discuss teshuva. However it is not sufficient to merely learn about teshuva, rather one must actively go about doing it in an effective manner.

Rav Berkovits explains that this time offers a great　opportunity for a person to really analyze and understand himself, and to identify those factors that are preventing him from reaching his true potential. In order to properly do teshuva on the Aseres Yemai Teshuva, it is essential that one begin this cheshbon hanefesh early in Elul, and not wait until Rosh HaShana to start thinking about how he can change.

It is not sufficient to merely identify the sins that one commits. The Vilna Gaon writes that midos (character traits) lie at the root of every aveiro and mitzvo. Accordingly, the key is for each person to understand and identify the underlying midos (character traits) that cause him to stray from the ideal path. Often, one particular trait can be the cause of a large variety of sins.

For example, a person may note that he is weak in getting up in the morning for Shacharis, wastes too much time, and gets easily frustrated with those around him, causing him to speak to them in an overly harsh manner. It is conceivable that all these sins arise from laziness, or a desire for comfort. This understandably causes a person to find it hard to arise in the morning and wasting time. But it can also be the cause of frustration. This feeling comes about as a result of things not being the way one wanted them to be. This is often the way that is most comfortable, and therefore when other people cause a person to do things that he does not want to do, he feels that they are causing him a lack of comfort. Consequently, he becomes frustrated with them.

Elul is a time of great opportunity, and simultaneously, great fear. The Pirkei DeRebbe Eliezer tells us that we blow the shofar on Elul to demonstrate the fear that we feel as we approach the Yamim Noraim. What is the reason for the fear of Elul? Rav Avraham Grodzinski zt"l, explains that the fear of Elul is the fear of missing the great opportunity that is present. This is the time that is most mesugal to bring oneself back to Hashem. May we all merit to not waste this golden opportunity and make real, lasting changes.
　
　
　
　
　

OUR INFLUENCE ON OTHERS - SHOFTIM

“Who is the man who is fearful and faint-hearted? Let him go and return to his house, and let him not melt the heart of his fellows to be like his heart.” The Torah commands anyone who is afraid of going to war to leave the battlefield because of the negative influence his behaviour will have on his fellow soldiers. They will be effected by his fear and consequently become more fearful themselves which will have a detrimental session . The Ramban brings the opinion of the Behag that this is one of the 613 mitzvos. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l says that the shoresh of this mitzvo is that it is forbidden to act in such a way in any area of life that will negatively influence onlookers. This applies even if the action is justified but can still be interpreted in a negative way - thus he warns of the care a ben yeshiva must take in not missing seder, even when he has a valid reason, because everyone else may not know of this reason and will come to learn to be less makpid in keeping to their own seder. Rav Shlomo-Zalman Auerbach zt”l applied this principle in halacho. He was asked by someone who had a choice of two Shacharis minyanim; one was far slower than the other, allowing for more kavanna, but if he would daven in it he would have to leave before the end. Rav Auerbach answered that he should daven in the slower minyan even though he would have to leave early. However, he told the person that he should make known the reason for his early departure so as to avoid a possible chillul Hashem. Even though the shoel was following the halacho by leaving early, nevertheless he had to be aware of the possible consequences that this could have on others.

One may ask, why should a person be judged by how his actions influence others if there is nothing intrinsically wrong with them - we are commanded to keep the 613 mitzvos; if a person does that then why should he suffer from others imitating him in a negative way? Rav Chaim of Volozhin zt”l writes that in the Shemoneh Esrei of Rosh Hashana we say that Hashem judges the “maaseh ish upekudaso”. Maaseh ish means a person’s own actions, but what does ‘pekudaso’ refer to? He explains that each person has a sphere of influence beyond himself, which includes his family, his students, and any people that come into contact with him. The way he influences these people through his own actions is ‘pekudaso’ and he is judged in that area as well. If, by observing his behaviour, they learn to improve their avodas Hashem then he will receive much reward but if the opposite occurs then he will be judged for his part in their aveiros just as he is judged for his own. A person’s actions do not take place in a vacuum, we are always being noticed by others, consequently we must constantly be aware of the possible effect we can have on others without even directly communicating with them.

This idea is demonstrated in the following story told by Rav Dovid Kaplan Shlita: “Pesach the shoemaker died and went before the beis din shel maalah. He saw a massive pair of scales in front of him and a deep voice called out, ‘Bring in the mitzvos!” Angels dressed in white brought in several big bags stuffed with mitzvos. They poured them onto the scale, and the side of zechus went down, bringing a big smile to Pesach’s face. A voice then said, ‘bring in the aveiros!’ A couple of trucks full of black, gruesome-looking angels came in and began pouring the aveiros on the other side of the scale. The smile quickly faded from Pesach’s face. In the middle of the procedure he noticed something odd. ‘Wait, wait,’ he cried, ‘some of those aveiros are not mine. I never did that, that or that.’ ‘No,’ responded the beis din shel maalah, ’indeed you did not. Those are the aveiros of people who watched what you did and learned from your actions. You are responsible for their deeds. When you spoke in shul, Velvel saw you speaking and therefore thought it was okay to speak - you get his aveiro. When you left shul early and Chaim the shtreimel maker thought he could leave early as well, you are responsible for that misdeed, too. When you spoke lashon hara and those around you thought it okay to listen because it was you who was talking, you carry the responsibility as well…”

Thankfully, we can also benefit from this form of din through the positive effect we can have on our fellow: One way in which to do this is by being a positive example in our own behaviour and thereby inspire those around us to emulate us. Rav Aron Kotler zt”l notes that b’zman hazeh it is very difficult to rebuke someone effectively without embarrassing him. He suggests that one way to help him grow without fear of causing pain is rebuke by example; acting in such a way that inspires others to emulate his behaviour. A yeshiva bachur who, for example consistently arrives on time for Shacharis can influence his roommates to want to do the same; a baal habayis who is makpid to be kovaya itim letorah is an example to those who can’t find the time to learn regularly. Or a person who is careful not to speak lashon hara makes it difficult for those around him to do so by his mere presence. Rav Kotler is mechadesh that if a person deliberately excels in a certain area of avodas Hashem in order to effect onlookers, then he has fulfilled the mitzvo of tochacha. And the greater a person is, the more he can influence others in this way. A resolution to bring all of Jewry back to the Torah was found in the satchel of the great baal mussar, Rav Naftali Amsterdam zt”l. When asked how he planned to carry out this resolution, he replied, “I have resolved to keep all the laws of the Shulchan Aruch strictly. In this way I will serve as a living Shulchan Aruch and anyone who wants to keep the Torah will be able to see in me a living example of a complete Jew and learn from me how to return to the Torah.”

Rav Shmuelevitz goes so far as to argue that causing others to fulfil a mitzvo is considered greater than doing the mitzvo oneself. One of his proofs is a Gemara in Sotah: The Gemara says that Yehuda’s body did not find rest until Moshe Rabbeinu prayed for him and mentioned one of his merits; Moshe said to Hashem, “who caused Reuven to confess to his sin [of moving his father’s bed]? Yehuda [when he confessed about the maaseh Tamar].” Rav Shmuelevitz points out that the only zechus that Moshe mentioned in his tefilla is that Yehuda caused Reuven to confess. Why didn’t he mention the great merit of Yehuda’s own confession, an act of great courage that saved the lives of three souls?! We are forced to answer that being mezakeh our fellow is greater than our own deed in and of itself and therefore the effect his deed had on Reuven was greater than the deed itself!

A person can never know when his deeds can influence others, even the smallest actions can have great effect as is demonstrated in the following true stories: Expecting a large crowd in shul on Yom Kippur, the tzaddik, Rav Elya Dushnitzer occupied himself by tearing pieces o toilet paper for public use in the large Petach Tikva shul’s bathroom. A secular Israeli stopped to watch what appeared to him as somewhat peculiar. “Why are you doing that,” he asked. “Tomorrow there is going to be a big crowd, and I don’t want anyone to be inconvenienced.” After becoming a baal teshuva, the Israeli explained what moved him to make a life change. “It was that rabbi. Every rip of paper made a tear deep in my heart.”

Unsure of whether to attend yeshiva full-time or to pursue a regular career, young Moshe decided to go to a yeshiva and see what the guys were like. As he was walking through the lunchroom, a bachur bumped into him, causing Moshe to spill his coffee on another boy seated at a table. Without a moment’s hesitation, the boy jumped up and called out, “Hey, Shimon, quickly bring another cup of coffee for Moshe!” Moshe decided that if this is what yeshiva bachurim are like, then he’s going to stay. He went on to become Rav Moshe Shwab, the mashgiach of Gateshead Yeshiva.

The people in these stories who were the catalyst for the great changes people made in their lives, do not merely gain reward for their single action. The Mishna in Avos writes that a person who is mezakeh others receives incredible benefits; It begins by saying that ‘sin will not come to his hand,’ - many commentators explain this to mean that he will receive great siyata dishmaya to avoid sin. The Mishna then describes Moshe Rabbeinu as an example of a mezakeh d’rabim and says that he receives reward for all the mitzvos that he caused to be done as if he fulfilled them himself. Thus, Rav Aaron Kotler notes that one who is mezakeh others with mitzvos receives incredible reward for his deeds. “one can not imagine the great gain a person receives through this; he is zocheh to extra heavenly protection to not stumble in sin and also to a great number of merits, something which would have been impossible for him to achieve through his own bechira. He writes further that this can help us in din; The Gemara says that the Sifrey Chaim and Sifsey Meisim are opened on Rosh Hashana. Tosefos explains that the dead are also judged. For what are they judged? Rav Kotler answers that even after a person’s death, the actions he committed in the world can still effect others , both positively or negatively. Thus, if a person helps others in such a way that the benefits are long-lasting, he can continue to reap the reward for this even after his own death. May we all be zocheh to the favourable din of the mezakeh harabim.
　
　

TAMIM TEHIYEH-SHOFTIM

The Torah tells us “You should go with innocence before Hashem, your G-d.” Rashi explains that a person should accept the lot that Hashem gives him without trying to discern the future, rather he should accept everything with love and innocence. The Chofetz Chaim zt”l would make an inference from the passuk; it says that one should act with innocence with Hashem, but not with other people. During a person’s dealings with others he should use great wisdom and thought and not let himself be duped by untrustworthy people. The example he would bring was that of Yaako Avinu, who was called an ‘ish tam’ and yet acted with great cunning in his dealings with Lavan. On one occasion a number of B’nei Torah complained to the Chofetz Chaim about how they had been tricked out of a large amount of money by dishonest merchants. He told them this passuk and noted that since they had spent so much time in Yeshiva they had become used to going in temimus with Hashem. Their error, however, was that they had thought that it is also possible to go in temimus with their fellow man as well.

This lesson of the Chofetz Chaim zt”l seems very logical, however it needs to be reconciled with the mitzvo of “b’tzedek tishpot es amisecha:” This mitzvo teaches us that we must strive to judge our fellow man favorably, even when it seems that he is acting in a negative way. How is it possible to judge people favorably whilst simultaneously being suspicious of their righteousness? One could answer simply that we must, in our minds, judge our fellow favorably, but at the same time, be careful to take practical precautions to avoid being harmed in the eventuality that the other person is not trustworthy. There are two problems with this approach: Firstly, it seems almost impossible to adopt such a seeming contradictory attitude to the same person - how can a person be expected to genuinely judge his fellow favorably and simultaneously treat him in a suspicious manner? Secondly, it seems difficult to say that the Torah should command us to give the benefit of the doubt to people of whom there is genuine reason to treat with distrust.

In order to reconcile these concepts it is necessary to analyze the mitzvo of “b’tzedek tishpot es amisecha” on a deeper level. There are many stories in which a person seemed to be acting in a clearly negative way and yet in truth there was some wild explanation for their behavior. Such stories imply that the mitzvo to judge favorably requires that we always strive to find the benefit of the doubt even when doing so seems to defy logic. In truth, this does not seem to be an accurate understanding of what this mitzvo involves.

The Rishonim write that there are different categories of people for whom there are different requirements of judging favorably. There is the ‘tzadik’, the ‘beinoni’, the ‘rasha’ and the ‘eino makiro’, (stranger): The tzadik is someone who hardly ever commits a sin - with regards to him we must judge him favorably even if his actions lean very strongly to a negative interpretation: The beinoni is a person who generally avoids sin but on occasion does falter - we must judge him favorably in situations that could be perceived equally in a positive and negative way, however when his actions seem negative we are not commanded to judge him favorably. The rasha regularly sins and as a consequence we need not judge him favorably even when his actions seem positive. Indeed, Rabbeinu Yonah says that we should judge him unfavorably! An eino makiro is someone that we do not know - there is no obligation with regards to judging him.

What is difficult about all the above gedarim is that there is no allusion to them in the Torah or Chazal - the Torah makes no differentiation between different people, it simply tells us to judge our fellow favorably, implying that this applies equally to every Jew. Where did the Rishonim see such chilukim between different kinds of people?! My Rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits Shlita explains that the mitzvo of judging favorably does not mean that we should irrationally judge every act in a positive way, rather it is telling us that we should judge people in a logical, reasonable and fair manner; a person may have a tendency to judge others in a harsh manner and not give them a fair judgement, the Torah comes and tells us that this is wrong, however it does not instruct us to judge people in an illogical fashion. Based on this understanding it becomes clear why the Rishonim gave different gedarim to different people: With regard to a tzaddik, even if he does something that seems like an aveiro is logical to assume that he did not do anything wrong. For example, if one sees a person who is known to be very strict on eating kosher, going into a non-kosher restaurant, it is logical to assume that he is not going in, in order to eat non-kosher food. Furthermore, even if we see him putting the food into his mouth it is more logical to say that he needs to eat in order to save his life and therefore it is permitted for him to eat this non-kosher food at this time. In contrast, when a rasha does something that seems positive, it is nevertheless logical that there is a negative way of interpreting his behavior. The same logic applies to the other categories - when it is logical to judge someone favorably the Torah requires that we do so, but when it is not, then there is no Torah obligation to judge favorably and there are even times when one should judge his fellow unfavorably.

With this understanding we can now reconcile the mtizvo of judging favorably with the Chofetz Chaim’s teaching that people should not be naïve. The mitzvo does not tell us to be naïve, in contrast it instructs us to be realistic and at times tells us that we should judge people in an unfavorable manner. Thus, when we are dealing with people in business, for example, ‘b’tzedek tishpot’ teaches us that we should not be naïve, rather we should judge people fairly and accurately. As we noted before, it is important to remember that this in and of itself is no easy task - a person’s natural leaning may be to judge people in a unfair fashion. This, the Torah tells us, is wrong, rather we should strive to see people in a fair light.
　

THE POWER OF HABIT - KI SEITSEI

“An Ammonite and Moabite shall not enter the congregation of Hashem …. Because of the fact that they did not greet you with bread and water on the road when you were leaving Egypt.” The men of Ammon and Moav displayed a great failing in the mida of chesed when they refused to give the Jewish people bread and water. This is one of the reasons that they can never marry into the Jewish people. The Maylitz Yosher notes that their failure to be gracious hosts is all the more difficult to understand when we bear in mind their patriarch - Lot. Lot excelled in hachnasas orchim (hosting people) to the extent that he risked his life to look after the angels who came to Sodom. In light of this, how is it possible that in a few generations this mida completely disappeared and his descendants displayed such indifference? He answers that if a person does chesed because of an internal recognition of its importance and a genuine desire to help others, then it will become ingrained in his descendants for many generations. However, if the chesed comes from habit then it will not be internalized by future generations. Lot did indeed excel in chesed, however this was only because he was brought up in the home of Avraham Avinu. He did not attain an internal recognition of the importance of chesed, it was merely a course of habit for him. Consequently actions such as those of Lot that are not internalized into a person’s soul do not last.

There are two important lessons that can derived from the explanation of the Maylitz Yosher: Firstly, it reveals one of the reasons for the all too common occurrences of youngsters brought up in observant homes leaving the path of Torah. If their parents keep the mitzvos, but their observance comes not out of internalization of what it means to be an Eved Hashem, but out of habit, then the children will surely pick up their parents attitude to mitzvos. At best, they will keep the mitzvos out of rote (which of course is highly undesirable) but at worst, the mitzvos will provide no meaning to their lives and consequently they will turn to other sources to find happiness and meaning.

Secondly, the Maylitz Yosher emphasises that even though Lot performed chesed out of habit he nevertheless did so to the degree that he was willing to give up his life for it! Thus a person may feel that since he is willing to spend much effort, money and time into the performance of mitzvos then this is a proof that he is not doing them out of habit. However, we see from Lot that the force of habit is so powerful that it can even drive a person to risk his life for it!

The Alter of Slobodka brings out another point with regards to Lot’s chesed. In the parsha about the rescue of Lot from Sodom, the Torah says that Hashem remembered Avraham and therefore freed Lot. The Medrash explains that Lot was saved because of a particular chesed that he performed for Avraham. When Avraham and Sarah were in Mitzrayim and Avraham said that Sarah was his sister, Lot could have easily revealed the truth to the Mitzrim and probably earn a great deal of money in return. The Alter asks, Lot was saved from destruction in Sodom for not committing the terrible act of informing on his own uncle to the Mitzrim; but surely his great mesiras nefesh to do hachnasas orchim in Sodom should be the source of his merit. He answers that because Lot’s hachnasas orchim was a result of his upbringing and not something he had internalized himself, it did not reflect in any high level and therefore deserves no reward. In contrast, he had a great natural love for money and this was so great that he felt a great temptation to at least hint to the Mitzrim that Sarah was Avraham’s wife and not his sister. In this area, he did not have the benefit of habit to help him, he had to turn to his own self-control and on this occasion he succeeded through his own efforts to do the right thing. In this instance, his ability to refrain from being an informer is considered greater than his tremendous chesed in Sodom.

We learn from here an example of Rav Dessler zt”l’s principle known as ’Nekudas habechira’ (the free will point). Rav Dessler argues that each person is not judged purely according to his mitzvos and maasim tovim, but to the degree to which he improves himself through his own efforts. Consequently he is judged according to his own standard, which takes into account his upbringing, surrounding influences and natural inclinations. This explains why we can never judge our friend until we stand in his place - we can never understand the nature of the tests that our friend faces because we can never know all the factors in his life.

It is true that there is reward for every mitzvo that is performed, however the main reward is for fighting the battle with the yetser hara and using one’s free will to become a better person. Thus, a person who is brought up in an atmosphere of shemiras hamitzvos and good midos does not receive his main reward for doing what he was naturally brought up to do. As we approach Elul, this is a frightening concept; we presume that all the mitzvos that we perform will be put on the scales against our aveiros, however the power of each mitzvo is judged according to the degree of free will that was exercised in its performance. Consequently, the mitzvos of a person who performs them simply because he was brought up that way, lose a great deal of their potency.

How can we begin to counter the power of habit? Rav Dessler writes that “the Gedolei hamussar and chassidus in the recent generations revealed to us the absolute necessity of limmudim of avodas halev that bring a person to an internalization [of mitzvos].” These include learning mussar, studying the meaning of tefilla, and a deepening of avodas Hashem. Of course it is difficult for a person to take on too much at the same time but Elul is an apt time to focus on one area of Avodas Hashem in which habit has taken over and to try to increase the inner meaning in our performance in this area. The rewards for such avoda are great - we can ensure that our external actions will become internalized in ourselves and consequently our descendants will be far more likely to follow in the path of Torah.
　
　

MAKING THE MOST OF OUR STRENGTHS - KI SEITSEI

“An Ammonite and Moabite shall not enter the congregation of Hashem, even their tenth generation shall not enter the congregation of Hashem, to eternity. Because of the fact that they did not greet you with bread and water on the road when you were leaving Egypt, and because he hired against you Bilaam Ben Beor, of Pethor, Aram Naharaim, to curse you.”

The Torah tells us that Ammon and Moav are the only nations who are prohibited to ever marry into the Jewish people and gives two reasons to explain this severe treatment; the first is that they did not show hospitality to the Jewish people in the desert and the second is that they hired Bilaam to curse them. The commentaries ask how the Torah seems to equate the lack of hospitality with the hiring of Bilaam to curse the Jewish people; surely attempting to curse is a far more serious misdemeanor than a lacking in chesed!

The Be’eros Yitzchak explains that the Torah sees Ammon and Moav’s failure to offer bread and water as a heinous sin because they inherited a natural tendency to hospitality from their ancestor, Lot. Lot, despite his failings, is portrayed as a highly hospitable person in the account of his efforts at hachnasas orchim in Sodom. He was willing to risk his life in order to serve the needs of travelers. As his descendants, Ammon and Moav inherited this self same mida and yet they deliberately acted against their teva and refused to offer bread and water to the Jewish people who were traveling through the desert and surely in need of the basic necessities. Even though hiring Bilaam to curse the Jews was objectively a far more damaging act, nonetheless, on their level of bechira (free will), the refusal to help the Jews is judged on the same level and is deserving of such a strong punishment.

There are a number of lessons we can learn from Ammon and Moav’s failure to utilize their natural strengths. Firstly, we see that a person is judged according to his own nekduas habechira (free will point) and therefore is judged more stringently in his areas of strengths. Accordingly, an essential part of one’s self-growth should be improving one’s strong points. In this vein, the example of Ammon and Moav is particularly instructive. Why indeed did they fail in an area where they naturally excelled? The answer is that their good mida of hachnasas orchim did not derive from significant effort at self-growth, rather it was an inborn trait that they inherited from their ancestor. Because their hachnasas orchim was not directed by the Torah’s guidelines, it was almost inevitable that it would be misused or not used at all in certain circumstances. When Ammon and Moav saw the Jewish people coming, their natural inclination was surely to offer them bread and water, however their hatred and fear of Klal Yisroel overcame their mida of chesed and caused them to refrain from offering such vitally needed assistance.

We see from here that if a person does not work on his natural strengths and align them with the requirements of the Torah then he will come to misuse them or not utilize them in the most effective way. For example, a person may be naturally friendly, but there may be occasions where he is tired and is unwilling to make the effort to befriend a stranger. In this case his natural mida is not strong enough to direct him in the right way because it is faced with something else, in this case tiredness, that makes it hard to be friendly. If, however he would strive to be friendly because it is a great mitzvo to make people feel important then he is far more likely to overcome his tiredness and make the effort to approach the other person.

Another very important lesson derived from Ammon and Moav is how much they could have achieved had they maximized their mida of chesed to its fullest potential. Had they in fact come out and offered bread and water to the Jewish people it is very likely that the Torah would record this great act of kindness for eternity and of course they would be allowed to marry into the Jewish people. Instead, because they did not make the correct use of their strengths, they are treated with the greatest disdain. We see from here that a person can achieve great things by maximizing his strengths to their fullest and failure to do so is treated severely.

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l stressed this point in his Sefer, Chomas Hadas, which was an exhortation to people to help save Klal Yisroel from the many secular influences that surrounded it. He wrote at length of the need for each person to use his strengths to the fullest - for example, a person blessed with the ability to speak in public should give drashos in public. This also applies to midos; it is very likely that a person’s tafkid (purpose in life) would involve utilizing his good midos to their fullest.

We learn from Ammon and Moav how NOT to use one’s strengths - may we all use this lesson for the good and make the most use of those gifts that Hashem has granted us.
　

SMILING

The Gemara says that one who smiles to his friend is better than one who feeds him. This teaches that showing simcha at seeing someone gives him more joy than providing gashmius. The Gedolim spoke very strongly about the importance of smiling. The Alter of Slobodka said that someone who walks in public with a gloomy face is like a ’bor bereshus harabim’ (a hole in a public area) - when he is in public he has no right to force others to see his gloomy face. Moreover, he saw an inability to smile a negative mida; a senior talmid from a famous yeshiva in Poland stopped by in Slobodka on his way back from Lithuania. The Alter told him several times to smile. The talmid, who had been trained all his life to be serious and tense, could not change his habit, and did not smile. The Alter regarded this as a serious character flaw and refused to allow his grandson to cross the border in the company of that talmid.

In a similar vein, the Sefer Yireim writes that just as there is an issur of onaas devarim, causing pain with hurtful words, so too there is a form of ‘onaah’ in showing an unhappy face. One may argue that there is a requirement of yiras shamayim that seems to contradict the requirement to be constantly smiling. The Gedolim also dealt with this issue at length. In short their maskana is that a person should internally feel an element of seriousness about life, but externally they must show happiness. Rav Yitzchak Blazer zt”l brings a story from his Rebbe, Rav Yisroel Salanter zt”l to show just how important it is to avoid letting one’s own coved rosh effect other people. One Erev Yom Kippur, Rav Salanter was walking to shul for Kol Nidrei. Whilst walking he turned to speak to someone he knew, but the person was in the midst of aimas hadin and did not reply. Rav Salanter commented, “why should I suffer because of his aimas hadin?!”

We have seen how there is a clear obligation to show warmth in our interactions with our fellow man and that by doing so we can give him a true sense of self-worth. How can a person strive to improve in this vital area of avodas Hashem? Sifsei Chaim suggests that in the area of smiling, we should utilize the principle that our external actions effect our internal being. Therefore a person should try to smile even if he doesn’t feel in the state of mind to do so. By showing an expression of simcha, he should begin to feel genuine simcha in his heart. In the area of greeting one’s fellow, it is recommended to notice anyone in our neighbourhood who doesn’t seem to know many people and to try to befriend them. This applies especially to new members of the Kehilla who naturally feel unknown and unimportant in their new neighbourhood. But it is even worthwhile to say a friendly word to anyone in the community with whom we have thus far not made any effort to do so.
May we all be zocheh to treat our fellow in the way that he deserves.
　
　

SHABBOS - MENUCHA

In order to appreciate Shabbos properly, it is essential to develop an understanding of the idea of 'menucha' that is so central to this holy day. The Torah states: "And on the seventh day, G-d completed the work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all the work that He had done." This passuk poses a difficult problem. It informs us that G-d rested on the seventh day, implying that He did nothing. Yet it also says that on this same day He 'completed' His work of creation, indicating that He did actually create something on Shabbos, and that this final act of creation caused the completion of the world. The Medrash, brought by Rashi, explains that G-d did indeed created something on Shabbos. He created the concept of menucha (rest) through His 'act' of resting. We see from here, that Hashem's menucha did not merely entail an absence of action, rather it involved some kind of active effort. This understanding leads us to ask, what was the active element in Hashem's menucha?

The Beis HaLevi zt"l addresses this question. He begins by explaining the fundamental difference between the first six days and Shabbos. In the first six days, Hashem was actively creating completely new forms of existence from nothing. On Shabbos, He refrained from creating new things, however He did not sit idly, so to speak, and do nothing. What did He do on Shabbos? The Beis HaLevi explains that Hashem is constantly recreating the world. We acknowledge this in birchos krias shema. We say "and in His goodness, He renews the works of creation every day, constantly." This means that Hashem is constantly creating the world anew. If He stopped doing this for one instance then the world would cease to exist. This process began on the first Shabbos of creation, and it is this that is described as Hashem's menucha. It contrasted with the previous six days in that Hashem refrained from creating new things, yesh m'ayin, rather He recreated the world in its previous form. Thus, Hashem's menucha did not constitute a mere refraining of activity, rather it represented a change from creating new things, to recreating them in their previous form. This was the 'creation' of the seventh day.

We are commanded to emulate Hashem's resting on Shabbos by refraining from melacha. However, it is not sufficient to merely do nothing, rather we also must emulate Hashem's menucha. In what way can we do this based upon the Beis HaLevi's explanation of menucha? The Torah tells us that on these six days we must do melacha. This means that we must be involved in creative activity, in this way we emulate Hashem's creation of the first six days. On Shabbos, we must refrain from such activity, however this does not mean that we do nothing. Rather we must emulate the way that Hashem 'rested'. He recreated the world, enabling it to maintain its previous state. In a similar way, on Shabbos, we must actively maintain all the 'creation' of the previous six days, and not let it all go to waste. This means that a significant part of Shabbos menucha is to consolidate one's achievements from the previous six days. In a practical sense, this means that one should go over his previous week, assessing how he grew, and where he faltered. In this way he can prevent the previous week's events from being lost, and he can use them as a springboard for the following week.

Rav Hirsch zt"l points out that this a fundamental aspect of one's avodas Hashem. He learns this out from the Mitzvo of Terumas Hadeshen, the raising up of the ashes, whereby a Kohen must move the ashes from the altar to the ground next to the altar. Rav Hirsch points out that this is the first avoda (service) of the day in the Mishkan, but it is really a continuation of the previous day's avoda. This alludes to us that today's avoda should be a continuation of the previous day's accomplishments. Each day of growth and avodas Hashem should not be contained in a vacuum, isolated from the past. Rather a person must consolidate on this previous accomplishments and build on them in the new day. Shabbos seems to encompass this idea to a greater extent than the other days, because it is the one day when we are free from distractions and are therefore able to step back and assess where we are holding in our avodas Hashem.

Shabbos is the day of rest, however we have seen that the 'rest', involved does not constitute mere inactivity. Rather it require an active effort to contemplate the previous week's accomplishments and failings. May we all merit to attain true Shabbos menucha.

GIVING WITH A SMILE-RE’EH

The parsha discusses the mitzvo of tzedaka and promises a special bracha to one who fulfils this mitzvo b’simcha: “You will surely give to him [the poor man] and you should not feel bad in your heart when giving him, because of this thing (davar hazeh) Hashem, your G-d will bless you in all your deeds and your every undertaking.” The Gemara elaborates on the number of brachos one receives when he gives tzedaka: “Rebbi Yitzchak says, ‘one who gives a prutah to a poor person is blessed with six brachos and one who speaks kindly to him [whilst giving the prutah] is blessed with [an additional] eleven brachos.” The Gra explains that these 17 brachos are alluded to in the passuk - the Torah says that a person will receive the blessing, “because of davar hazeh” - the word hazeh is gematria of 17, thus alluding to the maximum amount of brachos one can receive if he gives tzedaka in the optimum manner.

However, this Gemara seems difficult to understand. It says that a person receives nearly double as many brachos for speaking in a friendly manner as for giving money. Being friendly is a good hanhago (form of behaviour) but why does the Gemara consider it so much greater than providing a poor person with the money he so desperately needs?! There is an Avos d’Rebbi Nosson which discusses a similar issue that can help us answer this question. It says, “one should greet every man with a friendly countenance… if a person gives to his friend all the gifts in the world, but his face is sullen, it is considered as if he gave nothing. But one who greets his fellow with a friendly countenance, even if he gave him no gifts, it is considered as if he gave him all the best gifts in the world.”

The Sifsei Chaim explains that what people want more than anything is for others to show an interest in and care about them. A gift is merely an indication that the giver thought about the needs of his fellow and how he could give him joy. However, without an accompanying show of warmth the main purpose of the gift is lost because the person does not feel as if he is being genuinely cared about. In contrast when a person is friendly to his fellow even without giving any gifts, then he is providing him with his primary need, the desire to feel cared about. This explanation can also be used to answer our question. A person who gives tzedaka with a friendly attitude is giving much more than money, he is nourishing the poor man with a sense of importance by showing that he is cared about.

We learn from here how showing an interest in our fellow is one of the greatest possible acts of kindess that we can perform, even surpassing giving charity. There are numerous sayings of Chazal that stress the importance of being friendly. The Gemara tells us that Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai greeted everyone before they could greet him, even the non-Jew in the market-place. Rav Dan Roth Shlita explains what we can learn from this Chazal. Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai was the greatest Sage in his time and was the Nasi (Prince), the highest ranking position amongst the Jewish people. And yet, despite his high rank and prestige, he never failed to greet other people first. He recognized the power of a friendly greeting. Wishing someone ‘good morning’ shows that you acknowledge who he or she is. In a world where people are often not appreciated enough, by greeting someone we show that we see him as something of worth. This applies to non-Jews and especially to those people that we tend not to notice or acknowledge such as taxi drivers, street cleaners and security guards. The following true stories demonstrate how important it is to learn from Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai.

A Jew was working in a meat-packing plant in Norway. Towards the end of the day he went into one of the freezers to do an inspection. The freezer door slipped off its safety latch and closed, trapping the man in the freezer. He tried banging on the door and yelling but no avail. Most of the workers had already gone home and the sound was muffled anyway by the heavy freezer door. He was in the room for five hours and on the verge of death. Suddenly the door opened. The security guard put his head in and came to his rescue and saved his life. The security guard was later asked why he thought to open that freezer door. He explained, “I have been working here for thirty-five years. Hundreds of workers come to this plant every day. This Jew is the only one who says hello to me in the morning and good-bye in the evening. All the other workers treat me as invisible. Today he said hello, but I never heard the good-bye. I wait for that hello and good-bye every day. Knowing I never heard it, I realised that he must be somewhere in the building so I searched for him.’’ A simple ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ were so important to this security guard that he waited for them every day. We should strive to be like the Jew who greeted him so regularly and NOT like everyone else who treated him as if he didn’t exist.

It should be noted that being friendly does not merely constitute a praiseworthy act, rather it is an obligation that is incumbent upon every Jew. Rav Dessler zt”l points out that the Mishna in Avos which tells us to greet people in a friendly manner is said in the name of Shammai. It would have seemed more appropriate for Hillel, who is associated with chesed to express this idea, than Shammai who is known for his midos hadin. Rav Dessler explains that this comes to teach us that greeting our fellow in a friendly way is a chiyuv gamoor. Moreover, the Gemara states that anyone who knows that his friend regularly greets him should strive to be the one to initiate the greeting. Moreover, if his friend greeted him first and he does not return the greeting then he is called a thief. Rav Dessler explains that when one refrains from returning his friend’s greeting, he is stealing his self-worth and this is a terrible sin. Indeed, when one is doing teshuva for the various forms of stealing he should include the aveiro of ’gezeilas shalom’ and commit to being more friendly in the future.

We have seen how there is a clear obligation to show warmth in our interactions with our fellow man and that by doing so we can give him a true sense of self-worth. How can a person strive to improve in this vital area of avodas Hashem? It is recommended to notice anyone in our neighborhood who does not seem to know many people and to try to befriend them. This applies especially to new members of the community who naturally feel unknown and unimportant in their new neighborhood. But it is even worthwhile to say a friendly word to anyone in the community with whom we have thus far not made any effort to do so.
May we all merit to treat our fellow in the way that he deserves.
　

GIVING WITH A SMILE-RE’EH

The parsha discusses the mitzvo of tzedaka and promises a special bracha to one who fulfils this mitzvo b’simcha: “You will surely give to him [the poor man] and you should not feel bad in your heart when giving him, because of this thing (davar hazeh) Hashem, your G-d will bless you in all your deeds and your every undertaking.” The Gemara elaborates on the number of brachos one receives when he gives tzedaka: “Rebbi Yitzchak says, ‘one who gives a prutah to a poor person is blessed with six brachos and one who speaks kindly to him [whilst giving the prutah] is blessed with [an additional] eleven brachos.” The Gra explains that these 17 brachos are alluded to in the passuk - the Torah says that a person will receive the blessing, “because of davar hazeh” - the word hazeh is gematria of 17, thus alluding to the maximum amount of brachos one can receive if he gives tzedaka in the optimum manner.

However, this Gemara seems difficult to understand. It says that a person receives nearly double as many brachos for speaking in a friendly manner as for giving money. Being friendly is a good hanhago (form of behaviour) but why does the Gemara consider it so much greater than providing a poor person with the money he so desperately needs?! There is an Avos d’Rebbi Nosson which discusses a similar issue that can help us answer this question. It says, “one should greet every man with a friendly countenance… if a person gives to his friend all the gifts in the world, but his face is sullen, it is considered as if he gave nothing. But one who greets his fellow with a friendly countenance, even if he gave him no gifts, it is considered as if he gave him all the best gifts in the world.”

The Sifsei Chaim explains that what people want more than anything is for others to show an interest in and care about them. A gift is merely an indication that the giver thought about the needs of his fellow and how he could give him joy. However, without an accompanying show of warmth the main purpose of the gift is lost because the person does not feel as if he is being genuinely cared about. In contrast when a person is friendly to his fellow even without giving any gifts, then he is providing him with his primary need, the desire to feel cared about. This explanation can also be used to answer our question. A person who gives tzedaka with a friendly attitude is giving much more than money, he is nourishing the poor man with a sense of importance by showing that he is cared about.

We learn from here how showing an interest in our fellow is one of the greatest possible acts of kindess that we can perform, even surpassing giving charity. There are numerous sayings of Chazal that stress the importance of being friendly. The Gemara tells us that Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai greeted everyone before they could greet him, even the non-Jew in the market-place. Rav Dan Roth Shlita explains what we can learn from this Chazal. Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai was the greatest Sage in his time and was the Nasi (Prince), the highest ranking position amongst the Jewish people. And yet, despite his high rank and prestige, he never failed to greet other people first. He recognized the power of a friendly greeting. Wishing someone ‘good morning’ shows that you acknowledge who he or she is. In a world where people are often not appreciated enough, by greeting someone we show that we see him as something of worth. This applies to non-Jews and especially to those people that we tend not to notice or acknowledge such as taxi drivers, street cleaners and security guards. The following true stories demonstrate how important it is to learn from Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai.

A Jew was working in a meat-packing plant in Norway. Towards the end of the day he went into one of the freezers to do an inspection. The freezer door slipped off its safety latch and closed, trapping the man in the freezer. He tried banging on the door and yelling but no avail. Most of the workers had already gone home and the sound was muffled anyway by the heavy freezer door. He was in the room for five hours and on the verge of death. Suddenly the door opened. The security guard put his head in and came to his rescue and saved his life. The security guard was later asked why he thought to open that freezer door. He explained, “I have been working here for thirty-five years. Hundreds of workers come to this plant every day. This Jew is the only one who says hello to me in the morning and good-bye in the evening. All the other workers treat me as invisible. Today he said hello, but I never heard the good-bye. I wait for that hello and good-bye every day. Knowing I never heard it, I realised that he must be somewhere in the building so I searched for him.’’ A simple ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ were so important to this security guard that he waited for them every day. We should strive to be like the Jew who greeted him so regularly and NOT like everyone else who treated him as if he didn’t exist.

It should be noted that being friendly does not merely constitute a praiseworthy act, rather it is an obligation that is incumbent upon every Jew. Rav Dessler zt”l points out that the Mishna in Avos which tells us to greet people in a friendly manner is said in the name of Shammai. It would have seemed more appropriate for Hillel, who is associated with chesed to express this idea, than Shammai who is known for his midos hadin. Rav Dessler explains that this comes to teach us that greeting our fellow in a friendly way is a chiyuv gamoor. Moreover, the Gemara states that anyone who knows that his friend regularly greets him should strive to be the one to initiate the greeting. Moreover, if his friend greeted him first and he does not return the greeting then he is called a thief. Rav Dessler explains that when one refrains from returning his friend’s greeting, he is stealing his self-worth and this is a terrible sin. Indeed, when one is doing teshuva for the various forms of stealing he should include the aveiro of ’gezeilas shalom’ and commit to being more friendly in the future.

We have seen how there is a clear obligation to show warmth in our interactions with our fellow man and that by doing so we can give him a true sense of self-worth. How can a person strive to improve in this vital area of avodas Hashem? It is recommended to notice anyone in our neighborhood who does not seem to know many people and to try to befriend them. This applies especially to new members of the community who naturally feel unknown and unimportant in their new neighborhood. But it is even worthwhile to say a friendly word to anyone in the community with whom we have thus far not made any effort to do so.
May we all merit to treat our fellow in the way that he deserves.
　

HOW TO GIVE TO OTHERS - RE’EH

This week’s Parsha is the source of the mitzvo to give tzedaka. The Torah tells us that we should give a person “enough for his lack which is lacking to him.” Chazal learn out from the words, “to him” at the end of the passuk that we must give according to each individual’s specific needs. For example, if a person who was wealthy and used to an extravagant lifestyle then became poor, we must try to give him to the extent that he can live according to his previous standing. In this vein, Chazal tell us of a man who had been accustomed to traveling on a carriage with servants running in front of him. When he lost his money, Hillel HaZaken ensured that he have a carriage to ride and even ran in front of the carriage himself!

This concept teaches us a fundamental principle in chesed - that we must give according to the specific needs of the other person. A significant part of the avoda of chesed is to discern each person’s unique requirements and strive to fulfill them. This is not an easy task because each person views the world through his own eyes and one can easily project his own desires and needs onto others. Consequently he may provide them with what would be important to the giver but is not so important to the receiver. For example, if a person likes apples he may presume that others also do and therefore he will feel he is doing a great chesed by giving them apples. However, the recipient of his ‘chesed’ may prefer oranges, thus the giver did not truly satisfy his friend’s needs because he presumed that he had the same tastes as himself.

This concept, however, seems to contradict the most fundamental mitzvo in bein adam lechaveiro; that of ‘love your neighbor like yourself’. Hillel interpreted this mitzvo to primarily mean, ‘‘that which is hateful to you do not do to your friend”. This teaches us that the mitzvo is to treat one’s friend in the same way that one would like to be treated himself. This implies that one does not have to try to understand his fellow’s specific needs, rather the mitzvo is limited to treating the receiver according to the giver’s own personal preferences. This would indicate that if a person likes apples then he should give apples to his friend because he would like his friend to do the same to him, and the fact that his friend actually prefers oranges is irrelevant.

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l raises this question in the context of hilchos lashon hara: He writes that some statements are not objectively lashon hara, rather they depend on the subject of discussion. For example, to say that Ploni learns 4 hours a day could be a positive statement or a transgression of lashon hara. It depends about who is being spoken about. If one would say that a working man learns 4 hours a day, then that would be a praiseworthy statement, however to say the same thing about an avreich would be lashon hara. The Chofetz Chaim then says that one may ask the aforementioned kasha; a person who works himself may argue that he would like people to say about him that he learns 4 hours a day, therefore it should be permissible to say the same thing about someone who is supposed to learn the whole day. The proof of this argument is Hillel’s statement that it is only forbidden to do to someone what we would not like him to do to us, but in this case we would very much like to be spoken about in such a way. The Chofetz Chaim answers that when Hillel said, “that which is hateful to you do not do to your friend”, he meant that if you were on his level or in his situation, then this would be hateful to you, even if it is not actually hateful to you at your present standing. This teaches us that the mitzvo of ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ does not in fact contradict the concept of doing chesed according to the other person’s needs. Rather it means that, just like we would like our fellow to do what is beneficial in our eyes, and avoid what it hateful in our eyes, so too, we must treat him in a way that is beneficial in his eyes.

Rav Yisroel Salanter zt”l taught and demonstrated the importance of understanding other people’s needs and situations throughout his life. On one occasion, a talmid saw Rav Salanter conversing with someone about mundane matters, which was very out of character for him, because he would generally only speak words of Torah. Later, during a discussion on idle speech, the talmid asked Rav Salanter why he was speaking about such mundane matters. He explained that the man with whom he was speaking was dpressed and it was a great chesed to cheer him up now. Said Rav Salanter, “how could I cheer him up? With talk of Mussar and fear of G-d? The only way was with light, pleasant conversation about worldly matters.” He understood the needs of this man and acted accordingly.

We have seen how the foundation of true chesed is understanding our fellow’s needs and trying to fulfill them, rather than presuming that that which is important to us is also important to them. This avoda occurs constantly in every kind of relationship. In marriage, it is very common that husband and wife have different interests; for example, when the wife talks about something that is important to her, the husband may not feel a great deal of enthusiasm in this particular topic. However, he or she should recognize that this is important to the other one and therefore express interest in that which is important to her. Similarly, children have very different interests than their parents and their parents may not be so fascinated by the childish pursuits of their children. Nonetheless it is essential that they do not dismiss their children’s enthusiastic discussion because to do so shows a severe lack of empathy and concern with their children’s needs. There are countless likewise situations throughout our lives and it is vital to work on this area in order to become genuine baalei chesed.
　

THE BENEFITS OF YISSURIM-EIKEV

“And you should know in your heart that just as a father punishes his son, Hashem punishes you. In this short sentence the Torah is teaching us the most basic tenet of bitachon. Just as a father only punishes a son because of his love for him and for his ultimate benefit, so too any punishments that Hashem sends to us also emanates from His great love for us and is only for our good. When a person finds himself in a painful or challenging situation he should realize that it is ultimately for the good. However, there is another life lesson that we learn from this comparison of Hashem to a father. A good father punishes his son in such a way that the son is intended to learn from his mistake and improve his behaviour. If the son continues to err even after the punishment then he has not enabled the onesh (punishment) to reach its desired purpose. So too, when Hashem punishes us He is, in most instances, trying to show us that we need to improve in some aspect of our behaviour. This idea is not a chiddush to most people, however it is usually discussed in a very vague way - that when bad things happen we need to ‘do teshuva’. This approach, whilst commendable, often seems to be unproductive because of its vagueness. In this article, the role of ‘yissurim’ in our lives will be discussed, and hopefully will provide a clearer picture of how we can best utilise them.

The Mashgiach of Slobodka, Rav Avraham Grodzinski zt”l discusses the inyan of yissurim at length in his sefer, Toras Avraham. He writes that the main purpose of prophecy was to communicate to the people how they were erring. Even when, ostensibly they were doing nothing wrong, the prophet would delve deep into their hearts and pinpoint an area in which they were lacking. He asks, in the post-prophecy era how does Hashem communicate to us to tell us what we are doing wrong? He answers that ‘yissurim’ are the replacement for prophecy. When a person is in pain, no matter how small, Hashem is communicating to him in some way that he needs to grow. Thus, yissurim are a tremendous gift - they provide us with an opportunity to mend our ways. The Gemara says that suffering does not merely refer to great afflictions, rather even minor difficulties. It gives the example of when a person tries to take out three coins from his pocket and he only picks up two. In this way Hashem is constantly communicating with us through yissurim. And the Gemara states further that if a person feels absolutely no suffering for forty days then he is destined for Gehinnom. This is because Hashem has given up hope for him to improve his ways, and therefore refrains from even trying to communicate with him.

The obvious question that we are faced with is, ‘how can a person know what message Hashem is trying to tell him through the yissurim?' Of course it is impossible to be certain but The Toras Avraham cites a principle from Chazal that Hashem punishes a person measure for measure for his aveiros. For example, The Mishna in Sotah tells us that Shimshon sinned with his eyes, therefore he was punished that the Plishtim took out his eyes, and Avshalom was arrogant about his beautiful hair, therefore his hair was the cause of his death when it got tangled up amongst the branches of a tree. Therefore, it is recommended that a person look for a cause that is somehow connected to the form of suffering. For example, if someone experiences pain in his mouth then perhaps he should first assess whether he transgressed in an area connected with speech. There is, ironically a very good example of this idea in relation to Rav Grodszinski’s life himself. He suffered from a noticeable limp and when a shidduch was first proposed to Rav Ber Hirsch Heller’s daughter Chasya, she rejected it because of his limp. Shortly thereafter she fell down the stairs to the cellar, breaking her leg. She concluded that this was a sign not reject the match because of Rav Grodzinski’s bad leg and they did indeed marry.

However, more important than whether we find the ‘correct’ aveiro or not is that we search for it at all. In the previous example, if the person’s pain in his mouth is connected to false speech but he works on lashon hara then he has achieved the main purpose of the yissurim - trying to grow. This is an extremely important point because there is a common trend that when a person experiences suffering he looks for different segulos in order to end the pain. My Rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits Shlita points out that this is somewhat missing the point. Hashem does not send us yissurim merely so that we can do some kind of segulo (even if it is effective in ending the pain), rather he wants us to grow. This does not necessarily mean that all segulos are negative but one should not forget the tachlis of the yissurim - that Hashem is telling us to grow.
There is a second point with regards to how we react to yissurim. When a person is in the midst of suffering there is a tendency to ‘put his head in the sand’ until the pain goes away and then resume his life. We reconcile ourselves with the fact that we realise this is from Hashem but we still wait for it to end so that we can ‘resume’ our lives. This is understandable but, just like a father doesn’t want his son to react to punishment by moping, so too Hashem doesn’t want us to simply wait for the yissurim to end. We can continue to grow in our Avodas Hashem. Rav Pam zt”l experienced the most difficult period in his life in his early twenties when he had no source of parnasa and had no idea what the future had in store for him. Did he regress in his learning in this time? On the contrary - Rav Yisroel Reisman Shlita once asked him when he learnt Seder Kodshim. He answered that it was in this very period when his life was in such turmoil tat he undertook to learn on of the most difficult sections of the Torah.

Indeed, times of yissurim are often opportunities to grow more than in more comfortable times. For example, a person’s tefillos are often far more effective when he feels in need than when everything seems fine. Moreover, history has proven that many of the greatest works of our Rabbis were written at times of great suffering. This does not seem to be a co-incidence; when a person is deprived of physical comforts his only refuge is in ruchnius, thus when our great ancestors were suffering from great poverty and oppression their learning reached new heights.
Hashem loves us more than a father loves his son; When He deems it necessary to cause us suffering we often do not understand why we deserve such pain. In Olam Hazeh we may never know the answer but the one thing we can be sure of, is that Hashem is communicating with us, He wants us to hear His ‘voice’ through the yissurim and use them to grow closer to Him.

YIRAS HASHEM - EIKEV

“You shall fear Hashem, Your G-d.”
The mitzvo to fear G-d is one of the most fundamental mitzvos in the Torah and is one of the ‘shesh mitzvos temidius’, the six constant mitzvos that one must fulfill at any moment. This mitzvo would seem to contradict another of the ‘mitzvos temidius’, Ahavas Hashem. The mitzvo of Ahavas Hashem teaches us that G-d is all giving and loving. If that is the case, then how can we be expected to fear Him, people generally fear things or beings who do not have their best interests at heart. The commentaries explain that the fear required in the mitzvo of yiras Hashem cannot be equated to fear of something that is trying to cause us harm, rather, at its most basic level, it consists of fear of the consequences of our actions. Yiras Hashem teaches us that Hashem is not a vatran, He has placed a system in the world whereby if a person commits a spiritually negative action then, as a consequence he will be spiritually damaged.

Chazal take this point further by explaining what exactly we should and should not be afraid of: The Gemara in Brachos notes a seeming contradiction about fear between passukim in Tanach. Shlomo HaMelech writes in Mishlei; “fortunate is the man who is constantly afraid.” In contrast, Yeshaya HaNavi says; “those from Zion who are afraid are sinners.” The Gemara explains that the passuk in Mishlei is referring to ‘divrei Torah’. My Rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits Shlita explains that ‘divrei Torah’ can be understood to refer to spiritual matters. We only have control over our free will in spiritual pursuits - thus, The Gemara is telling us that it is correct to fear one’s own failure in the spiritual realm because we have control over it and have the ability to falter. However, in all other areas we know that Hashem is in total control and since He is all-giving and all-powerful, it is foolish and wrong to be afraid that ‘bad things’ will happen to us. When Hashem is in control nothing genuinely ‘bad’ can happen, it may seem that way at the time, but we know that ultimately there is nothing to be afraid of when Hashem is directing matters. The only thing we need to be afraid of is ourselves and the damage we can do to ourselves.

Another Gemara shows further how important it is to fear the consequences of our actions: The Gemara in Gittin recounts the famous story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza and how the sinas chinam in that story caused the chain of events that ended with the tragic destruction of the Beis HaMikdash. As an introduction to this tragic episode the Gemara quotes the aforementioned passuk in Mishlei that extols the virtues of fear. How is the inyan of fear connected to the events of the Kamtza and Bar Kamtza episode? Tosefos explain that the people who sinned in the story should have been more fearful of the consequences of their actions such as allowing Bar Kamtza to be embarrassed in public without interceding. Had they been more vigilant about the results of their actions they would have realized that they should act differently. We see from here the significance of fearing ourselves - it was their lack of such fear that enabled the tragic mistakes to unfold.

These Gemaras teach us that whenever we have free will in a situation we must be fearful not to stumble but when there is nothing that can be done then it is wrong to have fear, and we should place our trust in Hashem. The Brisker Rav zt”l was famous for his fear of not performing mitzvos properly, yut at the same time, he remained remarkably calm when there was nothing he could do. Rav Shlomo Lorincz Shlita tells over that during the siege of Yerushalayim in Israel’s War of Independence the Brisker Rav would stay very calm even whilst the city was being bombarded with shells. Yet, when the shelling ceased, he would immediately become very agitated with concern for those far away. Asked to explain the contrast in his behavior, he responded that when the shells were falling nearby, he was in a position of an ones and thus freed from any obligation to assist others. Since he had not responsibility, he had no tension. But when his neighborhood was not being shelled, he could not stop thinking about what he might be able to do for those in danger, and the matter gave him no rest. The Brisker Rav was in tune with the appropriate times to be fearful and to be calm, when there was nothing he could do then he was very calm, but whilst a responsibility lay upon him he would not relax.

This lesson is very pertinent as we approach Elul. Throughout the year a person may develop a sense of security about his spiritual standing, feeling that Hashem will ’overlook’ his transgressions and failings. However with Yom HaDin approaching, we are reminded that Hashem is not a vatran and that there are serious consequences to our actions. The Mitzvo of Yiras Hashem teaches us that we cannot sit back and have a false trust in G-d that everything will be alright. We have the great gift of free will but that is accompanied by the fact that we cannot rely on G-d to force us to make the correct decisions. Our control over our actions is cause of great fear - it means that we can ignore the opportunities that Hashem gives us, misuse our talents and generally fail to fulfill our potential in life - that is worthy of fear.