– BEING HONEST WITH OURSELVES - YOM KIPPUR

One of the most well-known aspects of Yom Kippur is the moving service 'Kol Nidrei', with which we begin the Holy day. The commentaries point out that, in truth, 'Kol Nidrei' is not a prayer at all, rather it is an annulment of vows. This annulment could have been enacted at any point in time. What is the reason that we annul our vows davke at the beginning of Yom Kippur?

It seems that Chazal are alluding to us a very significant lesson. Yom Kippur is the day when one is supposed to undergo an intense process of self-analysis. He admits his mistakes, and undertakes to rectify them in the future. In order to do this effectively, a person must strive to be brutally honest with himself, and avoid the standard self-deceit that often cause people to stray from what they know to be the truth. In Kol Nidrei, a person stresses his concern with avoiding dishonesty through careless vows. In doing so, he implicitly acknowledges the importance of honesty and the detrimental nature of self-deceit. Accordingly, it is very appropriate to begin the day of teshuva by reminding oneself of the importance of being honest with Hashem and with oneself.

There are numerous sources in Chazal that demonstrate that being dishonest with oneself is the cause of aveiros and terrible life decisions. A striking example of this phenomena is that of Lot. He made a decision to leave Avraham Avinu to live in the evil city of Sodom. Why did he decide to go there? The Torah states that it was based on financial factors - he saw that the land of Sodom was a fitting place for his crops. However, Rashi brings Chazal who say that the real reason why he went was because Sodom was an immoral place, and he wanted to satisfy his desire for znus (immorality) there. The question arises that if Chazal say that his real reason was znus, then why did the Torah say that he came for financial reasons?! The answer is that, on the surface, Lot went for the sake of his livelihood, however, the deeper, and decisive reason was znus. The Torah gives us the external reason, therefore it is revealed in the Torah. Chazal reveal the hidden reason, which is accordingly hidden in Torah shebaal peh (the oral Torah). My Rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits shlita points out that even Lot himself believed that he was going to Sodom for the money. He even tricked himself as to the ultimate cause in this disastrous move. This is a prime example of how the yetser hara can deceive a person as to his motivations, thereby causing him to sin.

Another example of this is that of Shaul HaMelech. Shmuel Hanavi informs Shaul that Hashem wants him to wipe out the whole nation of Amalek. After defeating them in battle, Shaul inexplicably leaves the Amaleki King Agag and some animals alive. This seems to be an obvious deviation from the word of Hashem, and yet when Shaul meets Shmuel he proudly tells him that he has fulfilled the word of Hashem. He did not even realize that he had clearly transgressed the word of Hashem and committed a terrible sin. He tricked himself into believing that he had in fact done what Hashem asked of him.

These incidents demonstrate the power of the yetser hara to cause us to lie to ourselves. Indeed, it seems that all the major sins recorded in the Torah came about as a result of people deceiving themselves as to the true reason for their motivations . This is the case with regard the very first sin, that of Adam HaRishon. The sefarim write that he reasoned that he would attain a higher level of free will by eating from the fruit. However, deep down, his motivation was to gain some independence from Hashem.

Self-deceit can cause us to think that we don't need to do teshuva in certain areas. There was a man who lived in the time of the Rambam. He told the Rambam that he was certain that he never committed these sins, and therefore saying the vidui constituted a lie. The Rambam answered him that there are many levels of transgression of each sin and that on a certain level he in fact committed all the sins in the vidui. Moreover, the Rambam told him that his very claim that he had not transgressed anything in the vidui was a sin in and of itself. It seems ironic that this man had worried that he was lying by saying the vidui, whereas, in truth he was deceiving himself by believing that he did not need to say it!
It is quite conceivable that a person live his life oblivious of his shortcomings. He may blame all his problems on other people or circumstances, anything but his own flaws. The experience of Yom Kippur forces him to face the truth. May we all merit to genuinely return to Hashem.

OUR APPROACH TO LEARNING TORAH - HAAZINU

“When I call out the Name of Hashem, ascribe greatness to our G-d. ”

Chazal learn out from this passuk the obligation of Birchas HaTorah . The Gemara in Nedarim makes a startling point about the severity of being lax in this mitzvo: It tells us that after the destruction of the first Beis HaMikdosh and the galus that followed, the Chachamim and Neviim did not know what was the cause of such a terrible punishment, until Hashem himself told them that it was because “they left My Torah. ” Rav explains that this does not mean that they were not learning Torah, rather that they did not make Birchas HaTorah before they would start learning . The commentaries find a number of difficulties with this Gemara . How can the Gemara attribute such severe punishments to the relatively minor sin of not saying Birchas HaTorah? Moreover, this Gemara seems to contradict the Gemara in Yoma, which states that the first Beis HaMikdosh was destroyed because of murder, idol worship, and immorality .

The Maharal answers these problems in his explanation of this Gemara . He writes that it is impossible to understand the Gemara literally that they were not saying Birchas HaTorah, rather the Gemara means that they did not say the bracha with the proper intentions. He explains that when a person says Birchas HaTorah, he should focus on his great love and gratitude towards Hashem for giving him the tremendous gift of the Torah. The chachamim of the generation did say the bracha and moreover, did not merely say it out of rote, however they did not focus sufficiently on their love of Hashem when saying the bracha. He continues to explain how this subtle failing was the root cause of the terrible sins that led to the destruction of the Beis HaMikdosh. If a person focuses sufficiently on Hashem in the process of his learning then he merits to have tremendous siyata dishmaya that makes it much easier for him to avoid sin and even if he does falter, it enables him to do teshuva without great difficulty. Rav Hutner zt”l writes that this is what Chazal mean when they say that ‘the light of Torah returns a person to good’. However, if he does not connect to Hashem through his learning then he loses that special siyata dishmaya and if he falters he is far more likely to become trapped in a downward spiral of sin .

Based on this explanation we can resolve the contradiction between the Gemaras in Nedarim and Yoma. The Beis HaMikdosh was destroyed because of the terrible sins enumerated in Yoma .However the failure to say Birchas HaTorah with the proper attitude was the root cause that enabled the deterioration of the Jewish people to the point where they were sinning so greatly. Because they did not connect to Hashem properly they lost siyata dishmaya and consequently fell prey to the powerful temptations of the yetser hara. The Maharal offers a fascinating and somewhat surprising explanation of the reasons why a person may fail to show the proper love of Hashem in his Birchas HaTorah. He argues that it is impossible to love two entities at the same time, and consequently focusing on love of one thing will reduce the focus of the love for something else. Based on this, he writes that there are two possible ‘loves’ that one can express when saying Birchas HaTorah, love of Hashem or love of the Torah, and that it is not possible to feel love for both at the same time! When a person says this bracha he is more likely to express his love for the Torah more than his love for Hashem! He warns that, “one must be very careful that he make the blessing on the Torah with all his heart and soul. ”

This explanation of the Maharal may seem to contradict the approach of Rav Chaim Volovzhin zt”l in Nefesh HaChaim. He emphasized that when one learns Torah they should not be thinking lofty thoughts about Hashem, rather they should delve as deeply as possible into the Torah that they are learning. He argued that this approach is the optimal way through which a person can become close to G-d. The Maharal’s distinction between love of Hashem and love of Torah seems to clash with the Nefesh HaChaim’s emphasis on Torah as opposed to thoughts of Hashem. However, on deeper analysis it seems that there is no disagreement; the Maharal did not say that a person should focus on his love of G-d during his learning. Rather before he begins to learn and says Birchas HaTorah, then he should be careful not to lose focus of G-d. The Nefesh HaChaim himself makes a very similar point with regard to one’s attitude before learning. He writes, “whenever one prepared himself to learn, it is proper for him to spend, at least, a small amount of time, contemplating a pure fear of G-d with a pure heart .” He even argues that at times one should take a small break during his learning in order to rekindle his yiras Hashem .

Thus, it seems that there is agreement amongst these two Gedolim that before a person learns, he must be very careful not to lose sight of whose Torah he is learning. Whist with regard to the actual time of learning, there is no reason to say that the Maharal will not agree with the Nefesh HaChaim’s approach that one should not be thinking lofty thoughts about Hashem. Perhaps, this lesson, that one should not lose focus of Hashem as he begins to learn, is also alluded to in the course of the Chagim that we are presently in. Soon after spending the month of Elul, Rosh HaShana, and Yom Kippur, on intense self-growth, aimed largely at reconnecting to Hashem, we complete the cycle of the Torah and celebrate the beauty and wonder of Torah on Simchas HaTorah. The preparation leading up to Simchas HaTorah can help us adapt the correct focus in our learning - to increase our love and fear of Hashem.

WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO US? - ROSH HASHANA

We all know that the main Avoda of Rosh Hashana is to mamlich Hashem - to accept Him as King over us. But what does this mean? On one level it means to recognise that He is all-powerful and has total control over the world. But there is another very important aspect to being Mamlich Hashem. The Gra notes that with reference to non-Jews Hashem is called a Moshel, whereas with regard to Jews He is called a Melech. A Moshel is a dictator who has complete power but is not loved by his subjects because they perceive that he is not the source of good for them. The goyim see Hashem as a ruler who may be powerful but they would prefer that He not interfere with their lives.

In contrast, a Melech is a ruler who we accept with love over us because we recognise that He is the source of all goodness - the Jewish people are supposed to have this attitude to Hashem’s kingship. In order to properly mamlich Hashem we must recognise that He and He alone is the ONLY source of meaning and happiness. The antithesis of this is the negative mitzvo of not following after other gods. This is not limited to not worshipping idols, it also requires that we acknowledge that there is no other source of our well-being other than Hashem. If a person believes that there is any other factor in his life that is independently significant to his happiness then he transgresses the mitzvo of not following other gods. There are numerous possible ‘alternative’ sources to attributing our well-being, including money, physical pleasure, material attainment, honour, or even ourselves . A person can say he believes in G-d but if he acts as though any of these factors provide him with any happiness to the exclusion of Hashem, then he cannot properly make Hashem King .

The extent to which we recognise that doing ratson Hashem is the only key to success has a great effect on our shemiras hamitzvos, both avoidance of lavim and performance of positive mitzvos. With regards to lavim, my Rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits Shlita suggests that the shoresh of many aveiros is a belief that there are other ways of succeeding in life apart from keeping the Torah. For example, a person may be faced with the opportunity to gain financially by doing something which is halachically highly questionable; The outcome of his decision whether to do the issur or not may well be based on his emuna - if he really believes that Hashem is the only key to goodness then he will refrain from doing something that Hashem tells him not to do. But, if, deep down, he feels that there is another way, apart from shemiras hamitzvos, in which a person can succeed, such as cheating in financial areas, then he will likely succumb to the temptation. Another example is when a person is put in a situation where he could speak lashon hara, if he has a clear realisation that doing so, will, ultimately cause him only pain, then he will not do so. But if, b’shaas maaseh he feels that telling over this piece of gossip will give him pleasure, then he will do so. Of course, a person may not be consciously making such cheshbonos, but deep down they are probably the shoresh of the rationalisations that a person makes when he sins. The more a person can mamlich Hashem, that is, to recognise that He is the ONLY source of happiness, then he will be more successful in his avoidance of doing aveiros because he will recognise that doing them would ultimately not provide him with any real happiness.

The same concept applies for performance of positive mitzvos: it is discussed by Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l . He asks; the Gemara states that there is no reward for mitzvos in Olam Hazeh - this means that a spiritual act such as a mitzvo cannot be sufficiently rewarded by anything in Olam Hazeh. Yet, Chazal also teach us that reshaim receive the reward for their mitzvos in Olam Hazeh - how can they be satisfactorily rewarded by this-worldly pleasures? He answers that the reward a person receives for a mitzvo is no more than the value he himself attributes to that mitzvo. Therefore, a rasha, who sees physical pleasures as the source of his fulfillment will be rewarded with just that for his mitzvos. When the Gemara says that there is no reward in this world, it means that a mitzvo done by a person who has an appreciation of the spiritual pleasures cannot be rewarded with the transitory pleasures of this world.

Based on this, we can gain a greater understanding of the importance on Rosh Hashana of recognising that Hashem is the only source of true happiness: We are judged on this day according to how many mitzvos we have fulfilled against the number of aveiros that we have committed. However, the Rambam in Hilchos Teshuva writes that each mitzvo has a different potency based on a number of factors, one of the most important being the intentions behind the mitzvo. If a person’s sheifos are largely for this-worldly pleasures then this will surely effect his shemiras hamitzvos; There will be occassions where he will refrain from performing a mitzvo in order to satisfy his desires. Rav Shmuelevitz gives the example of a ben Torah stopping learning in order to earn some money. He is demonstrating that the mitzvo of Talmud Torah is worth less than the amount of money he could gain. Thus, even when he does perform the mitzvo, it is tainted by his underlying attitude that it is worth less than other forms of pleasure such as gaining money. The alarming consequence of this is that the reward he will receive for his mitzvos will only be equal to the value that he himself ascribed to the mitzvo. Thus, it is also apparent in our performance of positive mitzvos, that the extent to which we acknowledge that only Hashem is the source of goodness and that doing His ratson is the only way to succeed in life, bears a great effect on how we emerge from the din of Rosh Hashana.

Rav Yissochor Frand Shlita tells a frightening story that adds another dimension to the idea that a the reward a person receives is directly related to what is important to him. The Chiddushei Harim zt”l once travelled with a man on his carriage that was pulled by two horses. After a few miles, one of the horses died, causing great distress to its owner. A few miles later, the other horse also died. The owner was so distressed at the loss of his horses that meant so much to him that he sat crying for a long time until he cried so much that he died. That night, the Chiddushei Harim had a dream; in that dream he saw that the man who had died, received Olam Haba. But what was his Olam Haba? A lovely carriage with two beautiful horses. This story teaches us that our Olam Haba is created by what we value in Olam Hazeh - for this man, the most important thing in his life was his horses and carriage, so that was what he got for eternity.

One may ask, it does not seem to be so bad for a person to receive in Olam Haba that which a person cherishes so much in Olam Hazeh. Rav Frand answers this question. He says that when he was a young child he always wanted a slingshot with which to play with but his parents refused. Imagine if, at the time of his wedding, his parents would come to him and say, “here is the slingshot that you always wanted!” As a child, the slingshot was valuable to him, but now he has grown out of it. So too, we may strive to acquire various pleasures in Olam hazeh, such as money or kavod, believing that they will provide us with contentment. But when we arrive in Olam Haba we will see the truth of the words of Mesillas Yesharim: “everything else [apart from closeness to Hashem] that people believe are good is nothing but emptiness. ” In the Olam Haemes, we will see with perfect clarity, how meaningless are those things that we put so much energy into acquiring in this world.

We spend much of Rosh Hashana in tefilla - those tefillas repeatedly emphasise how Hashem is our King. When we say these words again and again on the day, let us remember what they mean: that Hashem is a loving King who is the source of all good, if we can internalise that then we can emerge from Rosh Hashana triumphant.
Kesiva v’chasima tova.

THE DAY OF OPPORTUNITY - ROSH HASHANA

As we approach Rosh Hashana, it is important to understand why Rosh Hashana is such an important time. Furthermore, on a more practical level, it is essential that we are aware of our avoda during this time period. It is a great shame to experience Rosh Hashana without becoming a changed person.

Rav Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler zt"l provides us with some vital insights into Rosh Hashana. He begins by explaining that there are two different ways in which a person can change his spiritual standing. He describes them as bechira klalis and bechira pratis . Bechira pratis describes minor life changes, whereas bechira klalis refers to major shifts in one's level. Bechira pratis is the more common of the two. People generally change in small stages, gradually improving or deteriorating. However, there are times in a person's life when he faces a major decision and the results of that decision will have dramatic effects on the rest of his life. For example, a person beginning his studies of Yiddishkeit may face a decision as to whether he should continue his studies or look for a job without having strong foundations in his Judaism. This is a single decision, however, it will have great ramifications for his future spiritual standing. In a similar vein, there are certain time periods which are mesugal for bechira klalis - Rosh Hashana is one of these times .

Rav Dessler brings the Gemara that states that the g'zar din for a person's year is made on Rosh Hashana and that it is almost impossible for an individual to undo the judgment he received on Rosh Hashana . He asks why this is the case - if a person improves his actions later in the year, why is it so difficult for him to alter what was decreed on Rosh Hashana? He explains that there is a special power on Rosh Hashana. He writes: "The whole matter of the judgment of Rosh Hashana is that Hakadosh Baruch Hu created a unique time period in which a person is aroused to a form of teshuva more powerful than on the rest of the year. And since the arousing power of Rosh Hashana is so great, so too the change that a person can make in himself is very great." Accordingly, if a person reaches a high level on Rosh Hashana then he effects a deep and permanent change in himself. Even if he declines later in the year, his basic standing does not change. His change of level later in the year only represents a superficial deterioration, rather than a fundamental shift on his level. In this way, Rosh Hashana is a time of tremendous opportunity to make long-lasting changes.

The Shem Mishmuel gives us a further insight into the power of Rosh Hashana. He writes that the events of the first Rosh Hashana have an eternal effect on that day through all of history. On the first Rosh Hashana, man was given a whole new level of existence through the soul that he was given. The soul is the driving force behind man's desire to constantly grow in stature and closeness to Hashem. Accordingly, on this day, there is an extra power for man to make a conscious decision to make huge leaps forward in his spiritual standing. With this understanding, he explains the gemara that tells us that Yosef HaTzaddik was released from the Egyptian prison on Rosh Hashana. The name of a person represents his essence. In that vein, Yosef's essence, based on his name, is to have a constant desire to grow in spirituality. Rachel Imanu gave him this name to represent her desire for more children, asking, "Hashem should add for me another son". This reaction seems somewhat difficult to understand - it appears analogous to when a parent gives a child a gift, the child asks for another one instead of thanking the parent ! However, in truth, it seems that Rachel’s desire for more children was not merely a desire for more in the realm of gashmius (physicality), rather it was a result of her great sheifa (aspiration) to strive in ruchnius (spirituality). For Rachel, having children meant playing a key role in the building of Klal Yisroel. Her request to have more children was a reflection of her own desire to merit to play a greater role in building Klal Yisroel. Thus it was not comparable to a child asking for another gift, rather it was more akin to one who has just completed a piece of learning asking Hashem to help him complete another one. That is not a sign of ingratitude, rather it is an expression of the person’s desire to grow more in ruchnius. In this way, the name Yosef represented the desire to constantly increase one's spirituality. The Shem Mishmuel writes that the essence of Yosef is identical to that of Rosh Hashana, in that both epitomize a burning ratson (will) to constantly strive in ruchnius. Therefore it was fitting that the pivotal event in enabling Yosef to achieve greatness, Yosef's release from prison, occurred on the day that is mesugal for greatness, Rosh Hashana.

These sources teach us the immense opportunity that is present on Rosh Hashana. The level that we attain on Rosh Hashana will have a tremendous effect on how the year to come will pan out. Accordingly, it is essential that a person strive to attain a high level on the days of Rosh Hashana. This concept is discussed in halacha. The Mishna Berurah writes that one should be particularly careful not to express any anger on these days. He explains that expressing positive character traits are a simun for a good year. Of course, it is not sufficient to merely act like a tzaddik on Rosh Hashana and return to one's old self the next day. Rather, a person must strive to make a permanent change in his outlook and attitudes on Rosh Hashana. Doing this will provide the foundation for a genuine improvement in one's Mitzvo observance. In this vein, the sefarim write that one is not merely judged on the number of mitzvos and aveiros that he has committed. His life aspirations and attitudes also come under scrutiny.

This perhaps helps understand why there is so much emphasis on tefilla on Rosh Hashana. For much of the day we sit in shul repeating the concept that Hashem is our King. Doing this is intended to help us internalize the recognition that closeness to Hashem is the only true source of meaning. The yetser hara can make a person have a somewhat negative attitude to the long prayers of Rosh Hashana. It can make him think more about going home, having lunch and sleeping, than making Hashem King. It is essential to recognize this nisayon and try to internalize the purpose and opportunity of the day. We have seen that Rosh Hashana is a time of unparalleled opportunity. The Shem MiShmuel points out that from the time that Yosef's release from prison on Rosh Hashana infused an extra power into that day of freeing oneself from his own personal prison - that is, whatever prevents him from being free to achieve his potential. May we all merit to achieve a great and long-lasting aliya on Rosh Hashana.

THE CHOICE OF LIFE OVER DEATH - NITZAVIM

See I have placed before you life and good, and death and evil ...I have placed life and death before you, blessing and curse; and you shall choose life so that you and your offspring will live .”

The Torah tells us that Hashem has given us a clear choice, the ability to choose life and good, or death and evil, and it is this choice that is the foundation of our capacity to serve Hashem effectively. However, there seems to be a difficulty with the choice outlined in the passuk; the Torah says that there are two pairs of choices, one between good and evil, and one between life and death. In giving us these options, it is evident that we have the ability and inclination to choose either direction. With regard to good and evil this dichotomy is easily understood; a person will find himself in many situations in life where there will be a strong temptation for him to choose what the Torah defines as ‘evil’, because at times the wrong choice seems to be the one that will provide happiness and satisfaction. Thus, the Torah tells us that we are constantly faced with a free will battle to choose good or evil. What is far more difficult to understand is that the Torah sees that there is a difficult ‘choice’ to be made between life and death, implying that a person has a realistic inclination to choose death over life. Surely, no-one will ever find it difficult to choose life over death, there is no temptation to choose death! Accordingly, why is the choice between life and death such a difficult one to make?

Rav Noach Weinberg zt”l explains that when the Torah talks about ‘death’ it does not simply mean the state of not being alive. The Torah is warning us against what death represents. In order to understand what death means we need to develop our understanding of it’s opposite, ‘life’. When the Torah talks about life it does not merely mean breathing, rather life is the process of growing in one’s Avodas Hashem and Avodas HaMidos. Being alive means directly facing the challenges that life presents and using them to become a bigger person. Accordingly, choosing ‘death’ can mean avoiding dealing with those challenges and opting to escape the difficult opportunities that one faces throughout his life. Death is the choice of comfort over effort, of an easy life over a life full of challenge and growth. With this understanding it is easy to comprehend how choosing ‘life’ over ‘death’ constitutes a very difficult choice.

It is important to note that choosing death is not limited to failure to observe the mitzvos. A person can observe the Torah and simultaneously choose ‘death’; if he is not striving to improve himself, and not fighting his yetser hara, then he is choosing the comfortable option that is akin to a form of ‘death‘. What is frightening is that a person may not be completely aware that he is making this choice and can live his life on ‘cruise control’. If he never really pushes himself to further develop his relationship with Hashem, to daven with more kavanna, to be a better husband or father and so on, then he is choosing the comfortable option.

On a slightly deeper level, the choice between comfort and challenge is, in fact the choice between associating with one’s body or soul. Life is a constant struggle between these two contradictory forces that pull us in opposite directions. The body wants to return to the Adama, from where it came; this manifests itself in a desire to lie down, rest, and experience enjoyable and ‘comfortable’ pleasures. In contrast, the soul wants to return to the Shamayim from where it originated. This pull is represented by a desire to expand and grow. Thus, each person is constantly faced with these conflicting forces pulling him in opposite directions. The Torah in this week’s parsha tells him that in order to succeed in his tafkid (life purpose) he must choose life.

On Rosh HaShana we are not judged for our performance of specific mitzvos, rather we face a Din on who we are as a whole - what are our sheifos, what is important to us, what are our goals? The choice between living an essentially comfortable life (even if it is done in a ‘frum’ way) and striving to reach one’s potential is an essential element of the Avoda of Rosh HaShana - it defines a great deal about what is important to us.

May we all be zocheh to attain the Torah’s understanding of Chaim.

TAKING ACHRAYUS FOR OURSELVES - NITZAVIM -

“This mitzvo that I command you today - it is not hidden from you and it is not distant. It is not in heaven, [for you] to say, ‘who can ascend to the heaven for us and take it for us, so that we can listen to it and perform it?’” What is the mitzvo that the Torah refers to in this passuk? The Ramban writes that it is the mitzvo of teshuva; the Torah is telling us that teshuva is not something that is out of our grasp, rather it is easily attainable if only we make the effort. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l asks, if the mitzvo of teshuva is so easy to fulfil, then why are there so few people who do teshuva properly, everyone knows that they make mistakes so why do they not admit their error and repent?!

The following Medrash about the story of Kayin and Hevel can help us answer this question: After Kayin killed Hevel, Hashem did not punish him instantly, rather He said “where is Hevel your brother?” Kayin famously answered, “am I my brother’s keeper?” (ibid. 4:9) The Medrash gives more details of Kayin‘s reply: “You are the protector of all life, and You are asking me?!.. I killed him but You gave me the evil inclination, You are supposed to protect everyone and You let me kill him, You are the one that killed him… had You accepted my offering like his, I would not have been jealous of him.” Why didn’t Kayin do teshuva for his heinous act? Because he refused to accept culpability for his role in the murder - he even blamed it on Hashem! We can now answer our initial question as to why so few people do teshuva properly. We are generally aware that we commit aveiros but there is one factor that prevents us from repenting properly, the ability to accept that the ultimate responsibility for our actions lies with us and us alone. There are many factors to which we can easily attribute our flaws; whether it be our upbringing, our natural inclinations, or our society, we find it extremely hard to accept ultimate responsibility for our failings. The prerequisite for teshuva is a recognition that ’I could have done better, I could have overcome my yetser hara and not sinned.’ Without the ability to make this difficult admission we can not begin to repent properly but with it teshuva is easily attainable.

This inability to admit our guilt lies at the core of the first and most decisive sin in human history which plagues us to this very day - that of Adam HaRishon. We traditionally attribute Adam’s sin to his disobeying Hashem’s instructions not to eat from the fruit, and it was this that caused Adam and Chava to be expelled from Gan Eden with all the accompanying negative consequences. Rav Motty Berger shlita points out that on closer analysis it is clear that they were not punished immediately after the sin. Rather, Hashem engaged Adam in conversation, giving him the opportunity to admit his mistake. However, Adam did not accept this reprieve, instead he said, “the woman whom You gave to be with me - she gave me of the tree and I ate.” Adam avoided responsibility for his sin, shifting it onto Chava and even Hashem himself for giving her to him initially. Then Hashem turned to Chava, also giving her a chance to repent - she too declined the offer, saying, “the serpent deceived me and I ate.” Only then did Hashem punish them for the sin. it is clear that had they taken responsibility for their actions when Hashem confronted them, then surely the punishment would have been far lighter. Who knows how different the course of history could have been!

We see from the stories of Adam and Kayin that the ability to admit one’s mistakes is perhaps even more important than not sinning! Indeed we all err at some point, it is whether we can stand up and admit the truth for our actions that is the true judge of our spiritual level. It was only several hundred years after the sad beginning of history that a man arose who would shoulder the responsibility for his actions and metaken the mistake of Adam HaRishon. The Tosefta says “why did Yehuda merit the Kingship? Because he admitted [to his actions] in the incident of Tamar.” Tamar was about to be burned at the stake for her alleged act of adultery, when she gave Yehuda the chance to admit to his part in the events. He could easily have remained quiet, thereby sentencing three souls to death - Tamar and the twins inside her. However, in a defining moment in history, he bravely accepted accountability, saying, “she is right, it is from me.” It is no co-incidence that this was the key moment in producing the seed of Moshiach. We know that Moshiach is the person who will bring mankind back to its pristine state of before the sin, rectifying the mistake of Adam and Chava. The way in which to repair the damage done by a sin is by correcting the negative midda displayed in that sin. As we have seen, the main flaw present in Adam’s sin was an inability to accept responsibility for mistakes, therefore Yehuda’s success in taking responsibility for his actions was an ideal rectification.

The intrinsic connection between Moshiach and taking responsibility continued strongly amongst Yehuda’s most distinguished descendant, David Hamelech. The Gemara tells us that Shaul sinned once and subsequently lost his kingdom, whereas David sinned twice and remained king. Why was Shaul treated so much more harshly than David? Shmuel confronted Shaul after he had not destroyed all of Amalek as he was commanded. But instead of admitting his mistake, Shaul justified his actions, denying he even sinned. Then he blamed it on the people for pressuring him to leave over some of Amalek’s animals to be offerings. After a lengthy back and forth, Shaul finally did repent but it was too late and Shmuel informed him that he had lost his right to the kingship. In contrast, after David’s sin in the incident of Batsheva, The prophet Natan sternly rebuked him for his actions, and David immediately replied, “I have sinned to Hashem.” David showed his willingness to take responsibility for his mistakes by immediately admitting his guilt unlike Shaul. Therefore he was forgiven and given another chance to continue as King. Moreover, the kabbalistic sources write that David Hamelech is a gilgul (reincarnation)l of Adam HaRishon and that his purpose was to metaken Adam’s sin. It seems very apparent that one of the main ways in which David HaMelech was metaken the chet was by taking responsibility for his error so quickly.

We live in a society today that shuns the concept of responsibility - many educated people claim that no-one can be held liable for his behaviour. They argue that essentially we do not have any free will, the person that we become is predestined based on our background, upbringing, genetics and society. Consequently, criminals can be excused of their crimes on the basis that they really had no choice in the matter, and people can tolerate the failings in their relationships and middos as being unavoidable. The Torah outlook strongly rejects this view. If a person is brave enough to admit that he can do better then Hashem will surely help him do so.

We see this from the Gemara about a man called Elazar ben Durdaya. He was a man who was steeped in immorality, however, he suddenly came to a realisation of the error of his ways. The Gemara then proceeds to tell us how he tried to gain forgiveness for his sins. He sat between a mountain and a hill and asked them to request rachamim for him but they refused. He then asked the heavens and earth to request rachamim for him but they also refused. He finally turned to the sun and the moon but they also refused to help him.

Rav Yissochor Frand Shlita brings a drash explanation of this Gemara. The different things whom he asked to pray for him represent different influences on his life; he was trying to shift responsibility for his behaviour onto them. The mountain and hill represent his parents. He argued that his upbringing was responsible for his dire situation, but they refused to acknowledge their guilt. He then turned to the heavens and earth, who represent his environment and tried to blame that for his actions, but they also would not accept responsibility for his sins. He finally turned to the sun and the moon who represent his mazal, his natural inclinations, and claimed that it was impossible to avoid sinning because of his teva. But again, they would not accept culpability for his behaviour. Then the Gemara states that he said “this thing is only dependent on myself.” He finally acknowledged that there was only one source responsible for his aveiros - himself. He could not blame his parents, society or teva, he realised that he had the power to change his ways and he did so. He then did teshuva sheleima and his soul returned to heaven and a Bas Kol came out, proclaiming that Rebbi Elazar ben Durdaya has a place in Olam Haba. The commentaries note that the Bas Kol called him ‘Rebbi’ because he is our Rebbi in teshuva - he teaches us that the only way to do proper teshuva is to admit that the ultimate responsibility for our behaviour lies only with ourselves. If we can do this, then we can hope to do teshuva sheleima.
　

GOING UP TO THE HEAVENS - NITZAVIM

After a lengthy admonition regarding the consequences of not following the Torah, Moshe Rabbeinu famously assures the people that despite the seeming difficulty in learning and keeping the Torah, it is actually easily attainable.
“For this commandment that I command you today, it is not hidden from you and it is not distant. It is not in the heavens, [for you] to say, ‘Who can ascend to the heavens for us and take it for us and let us hear it, so that we can perform it?’ Nor is it across the sea, [for you] to say, ‘Who can cross to the other side of the sea for us and take it for us, and let us hear it, so that we can perform it?’ Rather the matter is very near to you, in your mouth and in your heart, to perform it.”

Rashi explains that these verses are referring to the whole Torah as opposed to any specific Mitzvo. On the words, “it is not in the Heavens”, the Gemara observes, that if it was in the Heavens, then we would somehow have to go up there to learn it. And on the words, “nor is it across the sea”, the Gemara points out that if it were across the sea, we would have to cross the sea to learn it.

The following story involving the great tzaddik, Rav Zalman of Volozhin zt”l demonstrates the lesson we should take from this Gemara. On one occasion, Rav Zalman was learning in a small village. On the other side of the river was the great town of Vilna. In the middle of the night, Rav Zalman felt a great desire to study a particular sefer (book) that was in the main Beis Hamidrash (study hall) in Vilna. He didn’t hesitate for one moment, rather he went out in the middle of the night in the freezing cold weather to Vilna until he found the book that he desired. The onlookers were shocked at how he could go to such extremes in such cold weather to get a book. He explained with the verses in Nitzavim that say that the Torah is not in the Heavens and is not across the sea. He then quoted the aforementioned Gemara stating that if the Torah was in the Heavens or across the sea, one would have to go there to study it. The short journey across the river to get to Vilna was nearer than the Heavens and even closer than across the sea. Accordingly, he felt that he had to make the required effort to attain the book that he needed for his Torah learning. We learn from Rav Zalman’s actions that whilst HaShem does not make impossible demands on us with regard to learning Torah, He does expect us to make considerable effort to learn to the best of our abilities.

We further learn from a Gemara in Yoma that any obstacles blocking our ability to learn Torah are not insurmountable. The Gemara says that when a man comes to the next world he will be asked about his Torah learning. The Gemara anticipates a number of excuses that one may use to justify his failure to learn. He may claim that he was too poor, and because of his poverty he had to spend all his time trying to earn a livelihood. Alternatively, he may argue that he was too rich, and that he was too distracted by his business to learn. Moreover, he may maintain that since he supported Torah with his money, he was exempt from learning Torah himself. Thirdly, he may contend that he was too beautiful to be able to avoid the yetser hara of immorality. The Gemara proceeds to provide examples of people who faced the most difficult tests in these areas, and despite this, succeeded in learning and observing the Torah. Hillel was an extremely poor man and he could not even afford to pay the entrance fee to the Beis Hamidrash, yet he went to extreme ends to try to learn. Rebbe Elazar was extremely rich and faced tremendous pressure to focus on his businesses, but he preferred to focus on his learning. Yosef HaTzadik was exceptionally beautiful and faced great tests in immorality, yet he withstood the temptation. This Gemara teaches us that no-one can claim that it was impossible for him to learn or observe Torah because of his circumstances. Of course, there are challenges that must be overcome, but with the requisite effort, everyone can learn and observe the Torah.

What is the key factor that determines whether a person to overcome the many obstacles preventing him from Torah learning? It seems that this can be answered with Rav Yisroel Salanter zt”l’s response to a question he was asked by a businessman. The man told him that he was so busy that he only had a very short amount of time available to learn each day. He asked Rav Yisroel what he should learn in that short time. Rav Yisroel answered him that he should learn Mussar . Once he does that, he would soon realize that he could find considerably more time to learn! Rav Yisroel was communicating to him that the reason that he could not find more time to learn was that learning did not have a high enough priority in his life. By learning Mussar he would develop his appreciation of the importance of learning Torah to his life and as a result he would find more time. We learn from here that if a person appreciates the true value of Torah learning, then he will place it far higher up in his list of priorities. As a result, he will find it far easier to overcome all the barriers and distractions that prevent him from learning.
A person may intellectually realize that Torah learning is very important to their lives, but it still remains very difficult to internalize this and apply it to one’s life. Rav Noach Weinberg zt”l gives a very insightful suggestion in this area. When a person is very tired, it is difficult for him to motivate himself to do anything that involves much effort or thought, including learning Torah. Similarly, if someone were very busy, he would find it very difficult to find any time to learn. However, if one were to offer him a large sum of money to learn Torah for half an hour extra, then he would suddenly find the time and energy! This teaches us that if something is valuable enough then a person will conjure up the time and energy to do it, despite the difficulty. Chazal teach us that one moment of learning Torah is infinitely rewarded, more than any other Mitzvo, needless to say it is of infinitely more value than all the money in the world. Accordingly, when a person is busy or tired, if he would think that of the reward that he could accrue by taking a few minutes to learn Torah, then he could surely overcome the challenges and do so.

As the Yamim Noraim (High Holy Days) approach, it is essential to assess one’s life priorities and ask oneself if he truly devotes as much time to learning Torah as possible. Chazal’s assertion that he must go up to the Heavens and across the sea to learn Torah, teach him he must certainly try to overcome the smaller challenges that he faces.

THE TRUE SOURCE OF SIMCHA - KI SAVO

A great deal of Parshas Ki Savo outlines the devastating punishments that would befall the Jewish people if they do not follow the Torah. In the midst of the tochacha the Torah gives us a deeper insight into the cause of all the terrible punishments enumerated here; “Since you did not serve Hashem, your G-d, with joy and goodness of heart, from rov kol (the abundance of everything). ” The simple understanding of this passuk is that the Jewish people did not perform mitzvos with happiness despite the fact that they were blessed with the abundance of everything .

The Arizal explains the passuk according to the Kabbala in a slightly different way. He says that the Torah is saying that we may have performed mitzvos with a certain degree of happiness, however our ikar joy did not derive from shemiras hamitzvos, rather from the simcha of ‘rov kol’ which refers to all other sources of happiness . Thus, Hashem is telling the Jewish people that the simcha of Avodas Hashem must be far greater than the pleasure derived from other endeavors, and that this is an essential part of one’s Avoda. This is a lesson that is of great relevance to Rosh Hashana: The main avoda of Rosh Hashana is to make Hashem King. A significant aspect of this is to recognize that Hashem is the only source of meaning, all other ‘sources’ of pleasure are meaningless. This is also a prerequisite to the teshuva process leading up to Yom Kippur. because if a person’s sheifus (desires) are not purely towards Avodas Hashem, then he will find it almost impossible to avoid sin. There will be times when his desires clash with Ratson Hashem and his shemiras hamitzvos will inevitably suffer. Thus, any teshuva he does on Yom Kippur will be tainted by his outlook on life - that Hashem is not the only source of meaning and joy.

It is important to note that even if a person somehow avoids sinning whilst pursuing his other desires he will still face unpleasant consequences. Rav Yissochor Frand Shlita tells a frightening story that illustrates this point. The Chiddushei Harim zt”l once travelled with a man on his carriage that was pulled by two horses. After a few miles, one of the horses died, causing great distress to its owner. A few miles later, the other horse also died. The owner was so distressed at the loss of his horses that meant so much to him that he sat crying for a long time until he cried so much that he died. That night, the Chiddushei Harim had a dream; in that dream he saw that the man who had died, received Olam Haba. But what was his Olam Haba? A lovely carriage with two beautiful horses. This story teaches us that our Olam Haba is created by what we value in Olam Hazeh - for this man, the most important thing in his life was his horses and carriage, therefore, that was what he got for eternity.

One may ask, it does not seem to be so bad for a person to receive in Olam Haba that which he cherishes so much in Olam Hazeh. Rav Frand answers this question. He says that when he was a young child he always wanted a slingshot with which to play with but his parents refused. Imagine if, at the time of his wedding, his parents would come to him and say, “here is the slingshot that you always wanted!” As a child, the slingshot was valuable to him, but now he has grown out of it. So too, we may strive to acquire various pleasures in Olam Hazeh, such as money or kavod, believing that they will provide us with contentment. But when we arrive in Olam Haba we will see the truth of the words of Mesillas Yesharim: “everything else [apart from closeness to Hashem] that people believe are good is nothing but emptiness. ” In the Olam Haemes, we will see with perfect clarity, how meaningless are those things that we put so much energy into acquiring in this world.

The tochacha of Ki Savo is a stark reminder that it is not enough to merely observe the mitzvos, but that it must be the sole driving force in our lives. Kavod, power, money, food and any other ‘pleasure’ are all illusionary sources of meaning - making Hashem King means realizing that He is the only source of true simcha.

ALEI LEHAKIM - KI SAVO

When the Jewish people entered the land, they were to assemble at two mountains for a new acceptance of the Torah, but the command to do so is found already in this week’s parsha. Twelve commandments were to be enumerated, and the people would acknowledge publicly that blessings await those who observe them and curses will befall those who spurn them. Each command discusses a specific act with the exception of the final one. It states: “cursed is the one who will not uphold the words of this Torah, to perform them; and all the people shall say, ‘Amen’ .” The commentators ask, what does this seemingly vague command involve? The Ramban brings a Yerushalmi that answers this question. “Rav Assi says in the name of Rebbi Tanchum Bar Chiya, one who learnt, taught, guarded and performed, but, who had the power to strengthen the Torah and did not, is considered ‘accursed.’… Even someone who was a complete tzaddik in his actions but did not strengthen the Torah in the face of those who do not keep it - he is considered ‘cursed’ .

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l wrote an entire Sefer, ’Chomas Hadas’, which was dedicated to urging people to do more to strengthen the Torah against the increasing tide away from Torah that threatened the very future of Torah observance. In his hakdama, ‘Chizuk Hadas’ he enumerates four separate chiyuvim that every Jew is obligated by the Torah to strive to increase observance amongst our fellow Jews . The fourth is based on this Yerushalmi; the Chofetz Chaim argues strongly that this obligation applies to any Jew who has the power to influence others. If a person does so, then he receives the blessings that were said on Har Gerizim and if he does not, chas v’shalom, then he will suffer the curses of Har Eival. He points out how awesome this idea is: The Leviim turned to six hundred thousand people who stood on the two mountains and blessed the people who would keep these commands and everyone present answered ‘amen’. Consequently, anyone who tries to uphold the Torah is blessed by the Kohanim, Leviim and six hundred thousand people, Hashem’s haskamah. And the opposite is true for anyone who does not try to keep this command. He writes that when a person does not try to save the Torah, “that the [heavenly] hashpaa to the whole world is reduced.”

My Rebbi, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits Shlita notes that by looking at some of the other sins enumerated in the curses we can begin to get a clearer idea of the seriousness of the failure to uphold the Torah. Amongst the other curses are; one who makes a graven image, one who degrades his parents, one who commits grave immorality, and one who strikes his fellow in private. There would be an inclination to think that failure to uphold the Torah is not such a terrible sin but we see from here that one who fails to uphold the Torah is placed in the same category as one who commits such terrible aveiros as the other sins mentioned in the curses at Har Eival. And the opposite is also true; a person who even tries to influence others to increase their observance is greatly praised by the Torah.

The Yerushalmi brings an example from Tanach of a person who epitomised the desire to mekayem the command of this passuk. Yoshiyahu Hamelech was brought up in a generation that had no knowledge of Torah to the extent that he had never seen a Sefer Torah. When he was a mere child one of the Kohanim, Chilkiah, found a Sefer Torah in the Temple courtyard, it was rolled to the passuk, “cursed is the one who will not uphold the words of this Torah..” When Yoshiyahu heard this he rent his clothes and said, “alei lehakim”, ‘it is my responsibility to uphold the Torah’ . He proceeded to do so and successfully reintroduced Torah learning and observance to the forlorn people. The Netsiv zt“l discusses the actions of Yoshiyahu in the context of his own time. There was already a great flow of people leaving Torah for other ideologies and there seems to have been a difference of opinion as to how the remaining Torah true Jews should react to this. Some people believed that the best course of action was to hide away and focus on their own personal avodas Hashem. The Netsiv wrote a teshuva in which he strongly disagreed with this approach. He believed that this was not the time to focus on one’s own ruchnius whilst the rest of the world was being spiritually destroyed . One of his proofs for his attitude is the story of Yoshiyahu. The passuk says that after Yoshiyahu found the Sefer Torah, he said to the Kohanim and Leviim, “… now go and serve Hashem your G-d and his people, Israel. ’ In what way did he mean for them to serve Hashem and his people? The Netsiv explains, that up till that time, the only people who had maintained their spiritual level were the Kohanim and Leviim and that they had retreated into their own world to avoid the perils of their surroundings. They had devoted themselves to their own spiritual development and relationship with Hashem but had neglected the rest of the people. Yoshiyahu now urged them to change their behaviour and to spread Torah to those who had lost their connection to it. He said that by serving the people in bringing them closer to Torah they would be simultaneously serving Hashem because that was his ratson at this time.

The Netsiv argues that just as in Yoshiyahu’s time there was a great need for the observant Jews to uphold the Torah, the same was true in his time, where people were leaving Torah in droves. If the Netsiv’s era could be compared to that of Yoshiyahu, then, all the more so the case is true in our time. There has never been a situation where so many Jews are so distant from any form of Torah than now. A survey was taken in 1990 of the state of observance in USA; here are some of its results . In 1950 the intermarriage rate in USA was 6%, by 1990 it was 52% and rising. 2 million Jews do not identify themselves as Jews. 2 million self-identified Jews have no Jewish connection whatsoever. For every wedding between two Jews, two intermarriages take place. 625,000 US Jews are now practising other religions. 11% of US Jews go to shul! Every day, dozens of intermarriages take place, which means that in the time that it takes to read this article, some Jews were lost forever! What would the Netsiv say if he were alive today? In Elul we all try to do a cheshbon hanefesh of our shemiras hamitzvos. We learn from this week’s parsha that an essential part of that cheshbon is that each person should ask himself, ‘am I doing enough to uphold the Torah?’ We all may have good excuses as to why we have not done a great deal in this area, but, the Chofetz Chaim asks, would these reasons stand up in court? He says, “at the end of one’s life, when his soul comes in front of Hashem’s throne of glory, and he asks to be honoured [for his mitzvos] in the heavenly Assembly, what will he say if they ask him, ‘why didn’t you care about My honour; in front of your very eyes, people desecrated My honour and that of My Torah.?! ”

The Chofetz Chaim, in his own life, demonstrated his fear of being judged for not doing enough to strengthen Torah observance on many occasions. When a community had weakened in its observance he would stand on the bimah in their shul and describe how he would be summoned to judgement after his death and he would be asked, “Yisroel Meir! You were there at the time. Why didn’t you rebuke the people? At times he would ask the congregation to sign their names to a document saying that he had fulfilled his obligation and rebuked them . On another occasion, during a three week stay in Riga he convinced 300 shopkeepers to close their stores on Shabbos . Another time, upon hearing from Jewish soldiers that on Pesach they had eaten chometz, he immediately set out to write Machane Yisroel which quickly spread among the Jewish soldiers. He founded and raised money for a Kosher Kitchen Fund, and he personally tried to come in contact with soldiers to influence them. A group of soldiers used to pass through Radun every summer. The Chofetz Chaim invited them to a banquet in his home, received them with fatherly love, and gave them a drasho to encourage their Torah observance .

The Chofetz Chaim constantly emphasised that there are many ways in which a person can strive to uphold the Torah, whether it be by giving drashos in front of large audiences, establishing places of learning, or befriending those that are distant from Torah. Each person is blessed with unique abilities to help bring others closer to Torah. At present, there are kiruv organisations that are providing many avenue through which people can increase their involvement in kiruv, even on a part-time basis. They offer classes in kiruv training, opportunities to learn one-on-one with a secular chavrusa, and many other options. With the yom hadin fast approaching may we all be able to learn from Yoshiyahu and say that we genuinely tried to uphold the Torah.

(If you would like to hear more specific details of what you can do to uphold the Torah and whom to contact, then you can contact me on email: Gefen123@smile.net.il Or call me on: 992 4050; 052 761 9935.)
Kol tuv

MITZVOS AND MINHAGIM - KI SAVO

Before the lengthy rebuke that characterizes much of Parshas Ki Savo, the Torah promises great rewards for the Jewish people if they follow HaShem’s instructions. This section ends with a warning how the people should not act: “And you shall not turn away from the words that I command you today, to the left or to the right, to go after other gods, to serve them.”

The simple understanding of these words is that they are an exhortation against idol worship. However, the Seforno offers a different explanation. He writes that the Torah was telling the people that they should not confuse Minhagim (customs) that they perform out of habit, with genuine Torah Mitzvos. Rav Moshe Sternbuch Shlita, explains that the Seforno is including Minhagim that have a genuine basis in Jewish law. The Seforno is saying that Minhagim should be viewed as ways of protecting or facilitating the Mitzvos of the Torah and they should not be viewed as the ikar Mitzvo (an end in and of itself). When this pitfall occurs, a person will fail to differentiate between Torah Mitzvos, and Minhagim or stringencies and this can have dire consequences.

Indeed, probably the most damaging sin in history came about as a result of confusion between stringencies and HaShem’s command. In Parshas Bereishis, HaShem commanded Adam HaRishon not to eat from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. However, when the snake asked Chava about the tree, Chava answered that they were commanded not to eat from the tree and to not even touch it and were they to do either, they would die. Why did she add the prohibition to touch the tree when HaShem had said nothing about touching it? Chazal tell us that HaShem instructed Adam not to eat the tree and when he transmitted HaShem’s instructions to Chava, he added the prohibition not to touch the tree. His intentions were noble, in that he wanted to make an extra boundary protecting Chava from eating from the tree. However, his mistake was that he did not tell Chava that the prohibition to touch the tree was not from HaShem, rather it was of his own initiative. Accordingly, when the snake pushed Chava into the tree and nothing happened, the snake proved to her that just as nothing negative happened when she touched the tree, so too nothing would happen if she would eat from the tree. There was nothing necessarily wrong with Adam’s additional instruction in and of itself. However, the fact that he did not inform Chava that it was his own added stringency and not from HaShem led to confusion that had grave consequences.
In addition to not confusing Minhagim with Torah Mitzvos, the Seforno, as explained by Rav Sternbuch, pointed out that one should not forget that Minhagim are not ends in themselves, rather they are supposed to serve the purpose of enabling us to keep Mitzvos. In a similar vein, some Minhagim also serve the purpose of teaching us character traits that are essential to our Avodas HaShem, and again one must be careful not to strictly adhere to the Minhag whilst forgetting its lesson. The following stories demonstrate how easily one can make this mistake.

The story is told of a Gadol who visited a home for the Friday night meal. As he and his host entered the house, they saw that the challah had not been covered as is the Minhag. The host, upset at this failing in front of his honored guest, proceeded to berate his hapless wife in front of the Gadol. After this outburst, the Gadol gently took him aside and asked him if he knew why we cover the challah? The reason is so as not to embarrass it when we bless on the wine before it. By embarrassing his wife the host demonstrated that he had clearly not internalized the message of this Minhag!

On another Friday night, one yeshiva bachur was invited to the home of someone for the first time. Before the meal began, the host proceeded to chat with his guests for 45 minutes, leaving the bachur to suffer in his own hunger as he waited for the meal to begin. As they got to the table, the host announced that he was skipping Shalom Aleichem and Eishes Chayil because that was the custom of the Chofetz Chaim zt”l . The host may have forgotten that the reason the Chofetz Chaim would do this was because he did not want to make the hungry guests wait a few extra minutes before they could eat. By ignoring the hunger of his guests for 45 minutes, the host demonstrated that he had not internalized the sensitivity to others that this Minhag was supposed to help instill. He remembered the Minhag but ignored its purpose.

The yetser hara has many ways in which it can lead us astray. We have seen that one of them is to make us observe Minhagim at the expense of keeping Mitzvos properly. This lesson has many applications; a person may have a tendency to focus on Kabbalistic matters, whilst forgetting the most fundamental Mitzvos. Rav Yaakov Hillel Shlita, once met a man who proudly told him that it is forbidden to place the fingers of one’s hand between those of his other hand. In the course of their conversation, it became evident that his man did not keep Shabbos! The yetser hara may make a person overly focus on externalities involved in his or her dress code that do not involve actual Jewish law. Such an overemphasis in one area can often cause an under emphasis in Torah Mitzvos. But, as we have seen, the most basic lesson is that one should remember when something is a Minhag and not a Torah Mitzvo, and that this Minhag is intended to teach him some kind of lesson or help him observe the Torah in a better way. May we all merit to understand the purpose of the Mitzvos and Minhagim.

MAKING THE MOST OF OUR STRENGTHS - KI SEITZEI -

“An Ammonite and Moabite shall not enter the congregation of Hashem, even their tenth generation shall not enter the congregation of Hashem, to eternity. Because of the fact that they did not greet you with bread and water on the road when you were leaving Egypt, and because he hired against you Bilaam Ben Beor, of Pethor, Aram Naharaim, to curse you. ”

The Torah tells us that Ammon and Moav are the only nations who are prohibited to ever marry into the Jewish people and gives two reasons to explain this severe treatment; the first is that they did not show hospitality to the Jewish people in the desert and the second is that they hired Bilaam to curse them. The commentaries ask how the Torah seems to equate the lack of hospitality with the hiring of Bilaam to curse the Jewish people; surely attempting to curse is a far more serious misdemeanor than a lacking in chesed!

The Be’eros Yitzchak explains that the Torah sees Ammon and Moav’s failure to offer bread and water as a heinous sin because they inherited a natural tendency to hospitality from their ancestor, Lot. Lot, despite his failings, is portrayed as a highly hospitable person in the account of his efforts at hachnasas orchim in Sodom. He was willing to risk his life in order to serve the needs of travelers. As his descendants, Ammon and Moav inherited this self same mida and yet they deliberately acted against their teva and refused to offer bread and water to the Jewish people who were traveling through the desert and surely in need of the basic necessities. Even though hiring Bilaam to curse the Jews was objectively a far more damaging act, nonetheless, on their level of bechira, the refusal to help the Jews is judged on the same level and is deserving of such a strong punishment.

There are a number of lessons we can learn from Ammon and Moav’s failure to utilize their natural strengths. Firstly, we see that a person is judged according to his own nekduas habechira (free will point) and therefore is judged more stringently in his areas of strengths. Accordingly, an essential part of one’s self-growth should be improving one’s strong points. In this vein, the example of Ammon and Moav is particularly instructive; why indeed did they fail in an area where they naturally excelled? The answer is that their good mida of hachnasas orchim did not derive from significant effort at self-growth, rather it was an inborn trait that they inherited from their ancestor. Because their hachnasas orchim was not directed by the Torah’s guidelines, it was almost inevitable that it would be misused or not used at all in certain circumstances. When Ammon and Moav saw the Jewish people coming, their natural inclination was surely to offer them bread and water, however their hatred and fear of Klal Yisroel overcame their mida of chesed and caused them to refrain from offering such vitally needed assistance.

We see from here that if a person does not work on his natural strengths and align them with the requirements of the Torah then he will come to misuse them or not utilize them in the most effective way. For example, a person may be naturally friendly, but there may be occasions where he is tired and is unwilling to make the effort to befriend a stranger. In this case his natural mida is not strong enough to direct him in the right way because it is faced with something else, in this case tiredness, that makes it hard to be friendly. If, however he would strive to be friendly because it is a great mitzvo to make people feel important then he is far more likely to overcome his tiredness and make the effort to approach the other person.

Another very important lesson derived from Ammon and Moav is how much they could have achieved had they maximized their mida of chesed to its fullest potential; had they in fact come out and offered bread and water to the Jewish people it is very likely that the Torah would record this great act of kindness for eternity and of course they would be allowed to marry into the Jewish people . Instead, because they did not make the correct use of their strengths, they are treated with the greatest disdain. We see from here that a person can achieve great things by maximizing his strengths to their fullest and failure to do so is treated severely.

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l stressed this point in his Sefer, Chomas Hadas, which was an exhortation to people to help save Klal Yisroel from the many secular influences that surrounded it. He wrote at length of the need for each person to use his strengths to the fullest - for example, a person blessed with the ability to speak in public should give drashos in public. This also applies to midos; it is very likely that a person’s tafkid (purpose in life) would involve utilizing his good midos to their fullest.

We learn from Ammon and Moav how NOT to use one’s strengths - may we all use this lesson for the good and make the most use of those gifts that Hashem has granted us.

THE POWER OF HABIT - KI SEITZEI

“An Ammonite and Moabite shall not enter the congregation of Hashem …. Because of the fact that they did not greet you with bread and water on the road when you were leaving Egypt. ” The men of Ammon and Moav displayed a great failing in the mida of chesed when they refused to give the Jewish people bread and water. This is one of the reasons that they can never marry into the Jewish people. The Maylitz Yosher notes that their failure to be gracious hosts is all the more difficult to understand when we bear in mind their patriarch - Lot. Lot excelled in hachnasas orchim (hosting people) to the extent that he risked his life to look after the angels who came to Sodom. In light of this, how is it possible that in a few generations this mida completely disappeared and his descendants displayed such indifference? He answers that if a person does chesed because of an internal recognition of its importance and a genuine desire to help others, then it will become ingrained in his descendants for many generations. However, if the chesed comes from habit then it will not be internalized by future generations. Lot did indeed excel in chesed, however this was only because he was brought up in the home of Avraham Avinu. He did not attain an internal recognition of the importance of chesed, it was merely a course of habit for him. Consequently actions such as those of Lot that are not internalized into a person’s soul do not last .

There are two important lessons that can derived from the explanation of the Maylitz Yosher: Firstly, it reveals one of the reasons for the all too common occurrences of youngsters brought up in observant homes leaving the path of Torah. If their parents keep the mitzvos, but their observance comes not out of internalization of what it means to be an Eved Hashem, but out of habit, then the children will surely pick up their parents attitude to mitzvos. At best, they will keep the mitzvos out of rote (which of course is highly undesirable) but at worst, the mitzvos will provide no meaning to their lives and consequently they will turn to other sources to find happiness and meaning.

Secondly, the Maylitz Yosher emphasises that even though Lot performed chesed out of habit he nevertheless did so to the degree that he was willing to give up his life for it! Thus a person may feel that since he is willing to spend much effort, money and time into the performance of mitzvos then this is a proof that he is not doing them out of habit. However, we see from Lot that the force of habit is so powerful that it can even drive a person to risk his life for it!

The Alter of Slobodka brings out another point with regards to Lot’s chesed. In the parsha about the rescue of Lot from Sodom, the Torah says that Hashem remembered Avraham and therefore freed Lot . The Medrash explains that Lot was saved because of a particular chesed that he performed for Avraham. When Avraham and Sarah were in Mitzrayim and Avraham said that Sarah was his sister, Lot could have easily revealed the truth to the Mitzrim and probably earn a great deal of money in return. The Alter asks, Lot was saved from destruction in Sodom for not committing the terrible act of informing on his own uncle to the Mitzrim; but surely his great mesiras nefesh to do hachnasas orchim in Sodom should be the source of his merit. He answers that because Lot’s hachnasas orchim was a result of his upbringing and not something he had internalized himself, it did not reflect in any high level and therefore deserves no reward. In contrast, he had a great natural love for money and this was so great that he felt a great temptation to at least hint to the Mitzrim that Sarah was Avraham’s wife and not his sister. In this area, he did not have the benefit of habit to help him, he had to turn to his own self-control and on this occasion he succeeded through his own efforts to do the right thing. In this instance, his ability to refrain from being an informer is considered greater than his tremendous chesed in Sodom .

We learn from here an example of Rav Dessler zt”l’s principle known as ’Nekudas habechira’ (the free will point). Rav Dessler argues that each person is not judged purely according to his mitzvos and maasim tovim, but to the degree to which he improves himself through his own efforts. Consequently he is judged according to his own standard, which takes into account his upbringing, surrounding influences and natural inclinations. This explains why we can never judge our friend until we stand in his place - we can never understand the nature of the tests that our friend faces because we can never know all the factors in his life.

It is true that there is reward for every mitzvo that is performed, however the main reward is for fighting the battle with the yetser hara and using one’s free will to become a better person. Thus, a person who is brought up in an atmosphere of shemiras hamitzvos and good midos does not receive his main reward for doing what he was naturally brought up to do . As we approach Elul, this is a frightening concept; we presume that all the mitzvos that we perform will be put on the scales against our aveiros, however the power of each mitzvo is judged according to the degree of free will that was exercised in its performance. Consequently, the mitzvos of a person who performs them simply because he was brought up that way, lose a great deal of their potency.

How can we begin to counter the power of habit? Rav Dessler writes that “the Gedolei hamussar and chassidus in the recent generations revealed to us the absolute necessity of limmudim of avodas halev that bring a person to an internalization [of mitzvos]. ” These include learning mussar, studying the meaning of tefilla, and a deepening of avodas Hashem. Of course it is difficult for a person to take on too much at the same time but Elul is an apt time to focus on one area of Avodas Hashem in which habit has taken over and to try to increase the inner meaning in our performance in this area. The rewards for such avoda are great - we can ensure that our external actions will become internalized in ourselves and consequently our descendants will be far more likely to follow in the path of Torah.

YOUR BROTHER AND YOUR ENEMY - KI SEITSEI

In Parashas Ki Seitzei, there are a number of Mitzvos instructing us how to react to a fellow Jew who is in some kind of predicament. One of them is the Mitzvo to help unload one’s fellow’s animal when it is suffering under a heavy burden. The Torah tells us: “You shall not see the donkey of your brother or his ox falling on the road and hide yourself from them, you shall surely stand them up, with him.” The commentaries note that this Mitzvo was already mentioned in another place in the Torah, however with a significant difference: In Parashas Mishpatim, the Torah states: “If you see the donkey of your enemy crouching under its burden, would you refrain from helping him? – you shall repeatedly help him.” The obvious question is why, in Parashas Mishpatim, the Torah instructed us to help one’s enemy, whereas in Parashas Ki Seitzei, the Torah discussed helping his brother.

The Meshech Chachmah offers a fascinating answer. He begins by bringing the Gemara in Pesachim that says it is permissible to ‘hate’ a person whom one knows has committed a despicable action. The ‘enemy’ that the Torah refers to in Parashas Mishpatim is someone about whom one knows he has committed such an action. The Meshech Chacmah writes that the passuk in Parashas Mishpatim was written before the sin of the Golden Calf, when the people were on an incredibly high spiritual level. At that time, because of their high level, it was acceptable for one to harbor negative feelings towards people who acted incorrectly. However, after the people sinned with the Golden Calf and on many other occasions, it would no longer be valid to feel negatively towards someone who sinned. This is because after a realistic self-assessment, each person would realize that they were really no better than the person whom they saw sin. Accordingly, it would be wrong to harbor feelings of hatred towards someone who acted inappropriately. With this explanation, he continues that by the time Moshe instructed the people in Parashas Ki Seitzei, they had already long fallen from their exalted level that they attained before the Golden Calf. Therefore, in this Parashah, the Torah says to help the donkey of “your brother” because even one who acts inappropriately is no worse than anyone else.

We have now explained the difference between the two passukim that deal with helping unload a donkey. However, it is still necessary to analyze why exactly it is so wrong for a person who sins himself, to feel negatively about someone else who sins. The simple understanding would be that it is hypocritical. However, it seems that there is a deeper principle underlying this issue. There are a number of reasons why one may feel negatively towards someone else. It may come from a genuine feeling of disgust at his reprehensible behavior. However, there is also the possibility that the negativity originates from a less pure place. A person may dislike someone else because of jealousy or because that person expresses a dislike to himself. Such forms of aversion are unacceptable according to the Torah viewpoint because they are not coming from a feeling of concern for the person, rather from a personal hatred. The only acceptable type of ‘dislike’ is one that is focused on a dislike of the displeasing actions of the person. However, this should in no way take away from the feelings of love that one must feel for every fellow Jew.

Based on this understanding, it seems that the Meshech Chachmah is saying that if one acts inappropriately himself, he may not feel negatively towards his fellow man who also acts improperly. This is because the fact that he himself sins, means that he does not feel a genuine disdain for sin, for if he did, then he would not sin himself. Therefore, his feelings of negativity are inevitably stemming, not from a pure distaste for sin, but for personal motives. Dislike that comes from such motives are unacceptable.

We have seen how it is unacceptable to look down on others for their mistakes, when we commit similar mistakes ourselves. Whilst it is essential to care about the spiritual level of others, one must be careful that his concern his genuine and not coming from his own personal flaws. Moreover, as the Meshech Chachmah pointed out, if we were to make our own personal accounting, we would recognize many areas where there could be improvement. Elul, in particular, is a time that is very conducive to focus on one’s own faults as opposed to those of other people.