MAKING THE MOST OF OUR STRENGTHS - KI SEITZEI

KI SEITZEI - MAKING THE MOST OF OUR STRENGTHS By Yehonasan Gefen “An Ammonite and Moabite shall not enter the congregation of Hashem, even their tenth generation shall not enter the congregation of Hashem, to eternity. Because of the fact that they did not greet you with bread and water on the road when you were leaving Egypt, and because he hired against you Bilaam Ben Beor, of Pethor, Aram Naharaim, to curse you. ” The Torah tells us that Ammon and Moav are the only nations who are prohibited to ever marry into the Jewish people and gives two reasons to explain this severe treatment; the first is that they did not show hospitality to the Jewish people in the desert and the second is that they hired Bilaam to curse them. The commentaries ask how the Torah seems to equate the lack of hospitality with the hiring of Bilaam to curse the Jewish people; surely attempting to curse is a far more serious misdemeanor than a lacking in chesed! The Be’eros Yitzchak explains that the Torah sees Ammon and Moav’s failure to offer bread and water as a heinous sin because they inherited a natural tendency to hospitality from their ancestor, Lot. Lot, despite his failings, is portrayed as a highly hospitable person in the account of his efforts at hachnasas orchim in Sodom. He was willing to risk his life in order to serve the needs of travelers. As his descendants, Ammon and Moav inherited this self same mida and yet they deliberately acted against their teva and refused to offer bread and water to the Jewish people who were traveling through the desert and surely in need of the basic necessities. Even though hiring Bilaam to curse the Jews was objectively a far more damaging act, nonetheless, on their level of bechira, the refusal to help the Jews is judged on the same level and is deserving of such a strong punishment. There are a number of lessons we can learn from Ammon and Moav’s failure to utilize their natural strengths. Firstly, we see that a person is judged according to his own nekduas habechira (free will point) and therefore is judged more stringently in his areas of strengths. Accordingly, an essential part of one’s self-growth should be improving one’s strong points. In this vein, the example of Ammon and Moav is particularly instructive; why indeed did they fail in an area where they naturally excelled? The answer is that their good mida of hachnasas orchim did not derive from significant effort at self-growth, rather it was an inborn trait that they inherited from their ancestor. Because their hachnasas orchim was not directed by the Torah’s guidelines, it was almost inevitable that it would be misused or not used at all in certain circumstances. When Ammon and Moav saw the Jewish people coming, their natural inclination was surely to offer them bread and water, however their hatred and fear of Klal Yisroel overcame their mida of chesed and caused them to refrain from offering such vitally needed assistance. We see from here that if a person does not work on his natural strengths and align them with the requirements of the Torah then he will come to misuse them or not utilize them in the most effective way. For example, a person may be naturally friendly, but there may be occasions where he is tired and is unwilling to make the effort to befriend a stranger. In this case his natural mida is not strong enough to direct him in the right way because it is faced with something else, in this case tiredness, that makes it hard to be friendly. If, however he would strive to be friendly because it is a great mitzvo to make people feel important then he is far more likely to overcome his tiredness and make the effort to approach the other person. Another very important lesson derived from Ammon and Moav is how much they could have achieved had they maximized their mida of chesed to its fullest potential; had they in fact come out and offered bread and water to the Jewish people it is very likely that the Torah would record this great act of kindness for eternity and of course they would be allowed to marry into the Jewish people . Instead, because they did not make the correct use of their strengths, they are treated with the greatest disdain. We see from here that a person can achieve great things by maximizing his strengths to their fullest and failure to do so is treated severely. The Chofetz Chaim zt”l stressed this point in his Sefer, Chomas Hadas, which was an exhortation to people to help save Klal Yisroel from the many secular influences that surrounded it. He wrote at length of the need for each person to use his strengths to the fullest - for example, a person blessed with the ability to speak in public should give drashos in public. This also applies to midos; it is very likely that a person’s tafkid (purpose in life) would involve utilizing his good midos to their fullest. We learn from Ammon and Moav how NOT to use one’s strengths - may we all use this lesson for the good and make the most use of those gifts that Hashem has granted us.

YOUR BROTHER AND YOUR ENEMY - KI SEITZEI

KI SEITSEI – YOUR BROTHER AND YOUR ENEMY By Yehonasan Gefen In Parashas Ki Seitzei, there are a number of Mitzvos instructing us how to react to a fellow Jew who is in some kind of predicament. One of them is the Mitzvo to help unload one’s fellow’s animal when it is suffering under a heavy burden. The Torah tells us: “You shall not see the donkey of your brother or his ox falling on the road and hide yourself from them, you shall surely stand them up, with him.” The commentaries note that this Mitzvo was already mentioned in another place in the Torah, however with a significant difference: In Parashas Mishpatim, the Torah states: “If you see the donkey of your enemy crouching under its burden, would you refrain from helping him? – you shall repeatedly help him.” The obvious question is why, in Parashas Mishpatim, the Torah instructed us to help one’s enemy, whereas in Parashas Ki Seitzei, the Torah discussed helping his brother. The Meshech Chachmah offers a fascinating answer. He begins by bringing the Gemara in Pesachim that says it is permissible to ‘hate’ a person whom one knows has committed a despicable action. The ‘enemy’ that the Torah refers to in Parashas Mishpatim is someone about whom one knows he has committed such an action. The Meshech Chacmah writes that the passuk in Parashas Mishpatim was written before the sin of the Golden Calf, when the people were on an incredibly high spiritual level. At that time, because of their high level, it was acceptable for one to harbor negative feelings towards people who acted incorrectly. However, after the people sinned with the Golden Calf and on many other occasions, it would no longer be valid to feel negatively towards someone who sinned. This is because after a realistic self-assessment, each person would realize that they were really no better than the person whom they saw sin. Accordingly, it would be wrong to harbor feelings of hatred towards someone who acted inappropriately. With this explanation, he continues that by the time Moshe instructed the people in Parashas Ki Seitzei, they had already long fallen from their exalted level that they attained before the Golden Calf. Therefore, in this Parashah, the Torah says to help the donkey of “your brother” because even one who acts inappropriately is no worse than anyone else. We have now explained the difference between the two passukim that deal with helping unload a donkey. However, it is still necessary to analyze why exactly it is so wrong for a person who sins himself, to feel negatively about someone else who sins. The simple understanding would be that it is hypocritical. However, it seems that there is a deeper principle underlying this issue. There are a number of reasons why one may feel negatively towards someone else. It may come from a genuine feeling of disgust at his reprehensible behavior. However, there is also the possibility that the negativity originates from a less pure place. A person may dislike someone else because of jealousy or because that person expresses a dislike to himself. Such forms of aversion are unacceptable according to the Torah viewpoint because they are not coming from a feeling of concern for the person, rather from a personal hatred. The only acceptable type of ‘dislike’ is one that is focused on a dislike of the displeasing actions of the person. However, this should in no way take away from the feelings of love that one must feel for every fellow Jew. Based on this understanding, it seems that the Meshech Chachmah is saying that if one acts inappropriately himself, he may not feel negatively towards his fellow man who also acts improperly. This is because the fact that he himself sins, means that he does not feel a genuine disdain for sin, for if he did, then he would not sin himself. Therefore, his feelings of negativity are inevitably stemming, not from a pure distaste for sin, but for personal motives. Dislike that comes from such motives are unacceptable. We have seen how it is unacceptable to look down on others for their mistakes, when we commit similar mistakes ourselves. Whilst it is essential to care about the spiritual level of others, one must be careful that his concern his genuine and not coming from his own personal flaws. Moreover, as the Meshech Chachmah pointed out, if we were to make our own personal accounting, we would recognize many areas where there could be improvement. Elul, in particular, is a time that is very conducive to focus on one’s own faults as opposed to those of other people.

THE POWER OF HABIT - KI SEITZEI

KI SEITZEI - THE POWER OF HABIT By Yehonasan Gefen “An Ammonite and Moabite shall not enter the congregation of Hashem …. Because of the fact that they did not greet you with bread and water on the road when you were leaving Egypt. ” The men of Ammon and Moav displayed a great failing in the mida of chesed when they refused to give the Jewish people bread and water. This is one of the reasons that they can never marry into the Jewish people. The Maylitz Yosher notes that their failure to be gracious hosts is all the more difficult to understand when we bear in mind their patriarch - Lot. Lot excelled in hachnasas orchim (hosting people) to the extent that he risked his life to look after the angels who came to Sodom. In light of this, how is it possible that in a few generations this mida completely disappeared and his descendants displayed such indifference? He answers that if a person does chesed because of an internal recognition of its importance and a genuine desire to help others, then it will become ingrained in his descendants for many generations. However, if the chesed comes from habit then it will not be internalized by future generations. Lot did indeed excel in chesed, however this was only because he was brought up in the home of Avraham Avinu. He did not attain an internal recognition of the importance of chesed, it was merely a course of habit for him. Consequently actions such as those of Lot that are not internalized into a person’s soul do not last . There are two important lessons that can derived from the explanation of the Maylitz Yosher: Firstly, it reveals one of the reasons for the all too common occurrences of youngsters brought up in observant homes leaving the path of Torah. If their parents keep the mitzvos, but their observance comes not out of internalization of what it means to be an Eved Hashem, but out of habit, then the children will surely pick up their parents attitude to mitzvos. At best, they will keep the mitzvos out of rote (which of course is highly undesirable) but at worst, the mitzvos will provide no meaning to their lives and consequently they will turn to other sources to find happiness and meaning. Secondly, the Maylitz Yosher emphasises that even though Lot performed chesed out of habit he nevertheless did so to the degree that he was willing to give up his life for it! Thus a person may feel that since he is willing to spend much effort, money and time into the performance of mitzvos then this is a proof that he is not doing them out of habit. However, we see from Lot that the force of habit is so powerful that it can even drive a person to risk his life for it! The Alter of Slobodka brings out another point with regards to Lot’s chesed. In the parsha about the rescue of Lot from Sodom, the Torah says that Hashem remembered Avraham and therefore freed Lot . The Medrash explains that Lot was saved because of a particular chesed that he performed for Avraham. When Avraham and Sarah were in Mitzrayim and Avraham said that Sarah was his sister, Lot could have easily revealed the truth to the Mitzrim and probably earn a great deal of money in return. The Alter asks, Lot was saved from destruction in Sodom for not committing the terrible act of informing on his own uncle to the Mitzrim; but surely his great mesiras nefesh to do hachnasas orchim in Sodom should be the source of his merit. He answers that because Lot’s hachnasas orchim was a result of his upbringing and not something he had internalized himself, it did not reflect in any high level and therefore deserves no reward. In contrast, he had a great natural love for money and this was so great that he felt a great temptation to at least hint to the Mitzrim that Sarah was Avraham’s wife and not his sister. In this area, he did not have the benefit of habit to help him, he had to turn to his own self-control and on this occasion he succeeded through his own efforts to do the right thing. In this instance, his ability to refrain from being an informer is considered greater than his tremendous chesed in Sodom . We learn from here an example of Rav Dessler zt”l’s principle known as ’Nekudas habechira’ (the free will point). Rav Dessler argues that each person is not judged purely according to his mitzvos and maasim tovim, but to the degree to which he improves himself through his own efforts. Consequently he is judged according to his own standard, which takes into account his upbringing, surrounding influences and natural inclinations. This explains why we can never judge our friend until we stand in his place - we can never understand the nature of the tests that our friend faces because we can never know all the factors in his life. It is true that there is reward for every mitzvo that is performed, however the main reward is for fighting the battle with the yetser hara and using one’s free will to become a better person. Thus, a person who is brought up in an atmosphere of shemiras hamitzvos and good midos does not receive his main reward for doing what he was naturally brought up to do . As we approach Elul, this is a frightening concept; we presume that all the mitzvos that we perform will be put on the scales against our aveiros, however the power of each mitzvo is judged according to the degree of free will that was exercised in its performance. Consequently, the mitzvos of a person who performs them simply because he was brought up that way, lose a great deal of their potency. How can we begin to counter the power of habit? Rav Dessler writes that “the Gedolei hamussar and chassidus in the recent generations revealed to us the absolute necessity of limmudim of avodas halev that bring a person to an internalization [of mitzvos]. ” These include learning mussar, studying the meaning of tefilla, and a deepening of avodas Hashem. Of course it is difficult for a person to take on too much at the same time but Elul is an apt time to focus on one area of Avodas Hashem in which habit has taken over and to try to increase the inner meaning in our performance in this area. The rewards for such avoda are great - we can ensure that our external actions will become internalized in ourselves and consequently our descendants will be far more likely to follow in the path of Torah.

השפעתנו על הסובבים אותנו - שופטים

בס"ד שופטים – השפעתנו על הסובבים אותנו יהונתן גפן "מי האיש הירא ורך הלבב ילך וישוב לביתו, ולא ימס לבב אחיו כלבבו" התורה מצווה על כל אותם אלה שפוחדים לצאת למלחמה לעזוב את שדה הקרב בשל ההשפעה השלילית של התנהגותם על שאר הלוחמים – הפחד עלול להוליד פחד גם אצל אחיהם הלוחמים– והתוצאות עלולות להזיק ביותר. הרמב"ן מביא את דעתו של הבה"ג שמצווה זו היא אחת מתרי"ג המצוות . ר' חיים שמואלביץ זצ"ל אומר ששורש מצווה זו אינו שייך דווקא למלחמה אלא אסור לאדם לנהוג בין אנשים באופן שישפיע עליהם לרעה בכל שטח שהוא. הדברים נכונים גם במקרה בו קיימת סיבה מוצדקת לחלוטין לצורת התנהגות מסוימת אולם ייתכן שהסביבה תפרש זאת באופן שלילי – בכך הוא מעורר על האחריות המוטלת על כל בן ישיבה שלא להחסיר בסדרים, גם כשיש סיבה מוצדקת, כיוון שחבריו אינם יודעים על קיומה והם עלולים ללמוד ממנו קלות דעת בשמירת סדרי הישיבה . הרב שלמה זלמן אוירבך זצ"ל הביא רעיון זה לידי ביטוי בהוראת הלכה למעשה – אדם אחד שאלו פעם באיזה מנין של שחרית לבחור; מניין אחד איטי הרבה יותר מהשני, מה שמאפשר תפילה ביתר כוונה, אבל אם יתפלל בו יאלץ לצאת מעט לפני סיום התפילה. הרב שלמה זלמן ענה שיתפלל במניין האיטי יותר למרות שיצטרך לצאת מוקדם. אבל הוא חייב להודיע לשאר המתפללים את הסיבה לכך שהוא עוזב מוקדם כדי למנוע חילול ה' . למרות שבעוזבו את בית הכנסת ינהג השואל על פי ההלכה, בכל אופן היה עליו להתייחס להשפעה שעלולה להיות למעשהו על הסובבים אותו . וכאן יכול אדם לשאול, מדוע הוא נידון על הדרך בה השפיע מעשהו על אחרים – אף אם אין בו שמץ של פגם. אנו מצווים בתרי"ג מצוות; אם אדם מקיימם כהלכה – מדוע עליו לסבול רק בגלל אחרים ששוגים ולומדים ממעשיו באופן שלילי? הרב חיים מוולוז'ין זצ"ל כותב שאנו אומרים בתפילת עמידה של ראש השנה שהקב"ה דן אותנו על "מעשה איש ופקודתו" מעשה איש – הם המעשים שעשה האדם, אך מהי כוונת המילה "ופקודתו"? הוא מסביר שלכל אחד ישנו תחום השפעה סביבו הכולל את משפחתו, תלמידיו וכל אדם אחר שבא במגע עימו. הצורה בה משפיעים מעשיו עליהם היא "פקודתו" וכל אדם נידון בראש השנה גם על שטח זה של מעשיו. אם הם ראו את מעשיו ולמדו מהם להתעלות ולהשתפר בעבודת ה' שלהם הוא יזכה בשכר גדול על כך, אולם אם קרה ההיפך, אזי ידונו אותו על חלקו בחטאיהם בדיוק כשם שדנים אותו על מעשיו הוא . מעשי האדם אינם נעשים בחלל ריק – תמיד יהיו אנשים מהצד שיבחנו ויראו. לכן, אנו חייבים להיות מודעים לכך שייתכן מאד שתהיה השפעה זו או אחרת על אחרים כתוצאה ממעשינו, אפילו ללא שנוצר כל מגע וקשר עם השני. הסיפור הבא, אותו מספר ר' דוד קפלן משקף באופן יפה רעיון זה: "פסח הסנדלר הלך לעולמו ועמד לפני בית דין של מעלה. הוא ראה למולו זוג מאזניים כבדות, וקול עמוק נשמע בחלל: "הביאו את המצוות!" מלאכים עטויי לבן הופיעו ובידם כמה שקיות גדולות מלאות במצוות. הם העמיסו אותם על כף אחת של המאזניים, וצד הזכויות ירד מטה. פניו של ר' פסח זרחו. ואז נשמע שוב קול אחר: "הביאו את העבירות!" שני משאיות מלאות מלאכים שחורים, בעלי מראה מבעית נכנסו והחלו להעמיס חבילות של עבירות על הכף השנית. מיד נעלם החיוך מפניו של ר' פסח. תוך כדי עבודתם הוא לפתע שם לב למשהו מוזר. 'רגע, רגע', הוא צעק, 'חלק מכל העבירות האלה בכלל לא שלי! מעולם, מעולם לא עשיתי את זה, ואת זה, וגם את זה לא' 'לא', הגיעו התשובה מבית דין של מעלה. 'באמת לא עברת עליהם. אלה הן עבירות של אנשים אחרים, שראו את מעשיך ולמדו מהם. אתה אחראי לכשלונם. כאשר דיברת בבית המדרש, ראה אותך וֶעלוֶל, והבין מכך שמותר לדבר – העבירה הזאת שייכת לך. כאשר עזבת מוקדם מידי את בית הכנסת, ראה אותך חיים ה'שטריימל מאכער', וחשב שגם הוא יכול לנהוג כך – אתה אחראי גם לזה. כן, וגם כאשר דיברת לשון הרע, והסובבים אותך חשבו שמותר להם להאזין כיון שאתה הוא הדובר – עליך מוטלת כל האחריות על חטאם...' מצד שני, ניתן לשמוח מהידיעה שאפשר גם להנות מדין כזה כיוון שבאותה מידה ניתן להשפיעה השפעה חיובית על הזולת: אחת הדרכים בהן ניתן לעשות זאת הינה להוות דוגמא חיובית בהנהגתנו, על ידי כך יתעוררו הסובבים אותנו וירצו ללכת בעקבותינו . ר' אהרון קוטלר זצ"ל כותב שבימינו קשה עד מאד להוכיח אדם בלי לביישו, הוא מציע דרך אחרת כיצד לסייע לאחרים בהתפתחותם הרוחנית ללא חשש של גרימת צער, והיא על ידי דוגמא אישית; לנהוג באופן שיעורר אחרים ללכת בעקבותיו . לדוגמא, בחור ישיבה שמתמיד להגיע לתפילה בזמן, ודאי יכול להשפיע בכך על חברי החדר שלו שינהגו כמוהו; אדם שעמל לפרנסתו אך גם מקפיד מאד על קביעת עיתים לתורה, מהווה סמל ודוגמא לאחרים שעדיין לא מצאו את הזמן הקבוע בו יכולים לשבת וללמוד. או אדם שנזהר מאד מלשון הרע – קשה מאד לסובבים אותו לעשות זאת כאשר הוא נוכח במקום. הרב קוטלר מחדש שאם אדם פועל באופן מיוחד בנושא כלשהו השיך לעבודת ה', והוא עושה זאת מתוך כוונה להשפיע על אנשים שרואים אותו ובוחנים את מעשיו, הוא מקיים בכך את מצות תוכחה. וככל שהאדם גדול יותר- כוחו גדול יותר בהשפעה על אחרים בדרך זו. בלבו של אחד מגדולי בעלי המוסר – ר' נפתלי אמסטרדם שכנה החלטה נחרצת – להביא את כל בני דורו לחיות חיי תורה אמיתיים. כאשר שאלו אותו פעם כיצד הוא מתכנן להוציא זאת לפועל, הוא ענה "החלטתי לקיים את כל ההלכות שבשולחן ערוך בהקפדה מלאה. בדרך זו אהפוך לשולחן ערוך חי, וכל מי שירצה לשמור את התורה הקדושה יוכל לראות בי דוגמא חיה ליהודי מושלם, וללמוד ממני כיצד לשוב בתשובה לחיי תורה" . ר' חיים שמואלביץ ממשיך בשיחתו ומביא הוכחות לכך שכאשר אדם גורם לזולתו לקיים מצווה – נחשב הדבר למעשה גדול יותר מעשיית המצווה בעצמו. אחת ההוכחות לכך היא הגמרא במסכת סוטה: "כל אותן שנים שהיו ישראל במדבר היו עצמותיו של יהודא מגולגלין בארון, עד שעמד משה וביקש עליו רחמים, אמר לפניו רבונו של עולם, מי גרם לראובן שהודה [בחטאו – שהעביר את מיטת אביו] יהודה [כאשר הודה במעשה תמר]" הרב שמואלביץ מציין שהזכות היחידה אותה הזכיר משה בתפילתו היא שיהודה גרם לראובן להודות. מדוע לא הזכיר את הזכות של המעשה עצמו - הודאתו של יהודה בחטאו הוא? היה זה הרי מעשה גדלות שבזכותו ניצלו שלש נפשות?! אם כך, על כרחנו עלינו לומר שכאשר מזכים אדם אחר זוהי זכות גדולה יותר מעשיית המעשה בעצמו – ואשר על כן, ההשפעה שהייתה למעשהו של יהודה על ראובן הייתה חשובה יותר מהמעשה עצמו . אדם לעולם אינו יכול לדעת אלו ממעשיו ישפיעו על אחרים ומתי, אפילו המעשה הקטן ביותר יכול לגרום השפעה עצומה על השני, כפי שניתן לראות בשני הסיפורים האמיתיים הבאים: הצדיק ר' אליהו דושניצר זצ"ל התכונן לקהל מתפללים רב שיגיע לתפילת יום הכיפורים בבית הכנסת הגדול של פתח תקווה. לכן, הוא ישב לפני היום הגדול וחתך ניירות טואלט עבור המתפללים. יהודי חילוני נעצר להביט במחזה המוזר שנגלה לנגד עיניו. "מדוע אתה עושה כך?" הוא שאל. "מחר אמור להגיע לבית הכנסת קהל גדול אינני רוצה שאפילו אדם אחד יחוש אי נעימות". לאחר ששב אותו יהודי בתשובה הוא הסביר מה הניע אותו לשנות את אורח חייו. "היה זה אותו רבי. כל קריעה וקריעה של נייר יצרה קרע עמוק בתוך ליבי" . משה היה בחור צעיר שהתלבט האם להיכנס לישיבה למשך יום שלם או לבנות לעצמו קריירה כלשהי. הוא החליט ללכת לישיבה ולראות כיצד נראים הבחורים שם. בעת שנכנס לחדר האוכל נתקל בו בחור וגרם לו לשפוך את כוס הקפה שהייתה בידו על בחור אחר שישב ליד השולחן. לא עברה שניה אחת של היסוס והבחור מיד קרא בקול: "שמעון, הבא מהר כוס אחרת של קפה למשה!" משה החליט שאם זו הצורה בה נראה בחור ישיבה - הוא נשאר כאן. הוא גדל והיה לר' משה שוואב , המשגיח בישיבת גיטסהד . אותם אלה שגרמו לאחרים בשני הסיפורים לעשות שינוי משמעותי בחייהם לא יקבלו שכר רק על עצם המעשה הטוב שעשו, אלא הרבה מעבר לכך. המשנה באבות אומרת שאדם המזכה את הרבים – שכרו לאין שיעור - בתחילה כתוב ש'אין חטא בא על ידו' – רבים מהמפרשים כותבים שהכוונה היא שהוא יזכה לסיעתא דשמיא מיוחדת להימנע מחטא. לאחר מכן מביאה המשנה את משה רבינו כדוגמא למזכה הרבים, וכותבת ש"זכות הרבים תלוי בו" כלומר, שהוא זכה לשכר עבור כל המצוות שעשו ישראל בזכותו כאילו הוא עשה אותם בעצמו. ר' אהרון קוטלר כותב שאדם שמזכה אחרים במצוות זוכה לשכר עצום על מעשיו, אדם לא יכול לדמיין עד כמה רבות הזכויות בהן זוכה אדם בדרך זו; הוא זוכה לשמירה מיוחדת משמים שלא להיכשל בחטא, נוסף לכך נזקפות לו זכויות רבות עד מאד, מספר עצום אליו לא היה יכול להגיע רק על ידי מעשיו שלו . בהמשך הוא כותב שעניין זה יכול אף לסייע לנו בדין; הגמרא כותבת שספרי חיים וספרים מתים פתוחים בראש השנה. תוספות מסבירים שגם המתים באים למשפט ביום זה . על מה דנים את המתים? הרב קוטלר מסביר שגם לאחר מותו של אדם, קיימת עדיין השפעה ממעשיו שעשה בזה העולם, והם יכולים להשפיע על אחרים לטוב ולמוטב. וכך, אם אדם מסיע לאחרים בעבודת ה' בכזו דרך – התוצאות הטובות הינן לטווח ארוך מאד, שכרו יכול להכפיל את עצמו ואף יותר, גם לאחר מותו . ייתן ה' וכולנו נזכה לדין המיוחד של מזכה הרבים.

OUR INFLUENCE ON OTHERS - SHOFTIM

SHOFTIM - OUR INFLUENCE ON OTHERS By Yehonasan Gefen “Who is the man who is fearful and faint-hearted? Let him go and return to his house, and let him not melt the heart of his fellows to be like his heart. ” The Torah commands anyone who is afraid of going to war to leave the battlefield because of the negative influence his behaviour will have on his fellow soldiers. They will be effected by his fear and consequently become more fearful themselves which will have a detrimental session . The Ramban brings the opinion of the Behag that this is one of the 613 mitzvos . Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l says that the shoresh of this mitzvo is that it is forbidden to act in such a way in any area of life that will negatively influence onlookers. This applies even if the action is justified but can still be interpreted in a negative way - thus he warns of the care a ben yeshiva must take in not missing seder, even when he has a valid reason, because everyone else may not know of this reason and will come to learn to be less makpid in keeping to their own seder . Rav Shlomo-Zalman Auerbach zt”l applied this principle in halacho. He was asked by someone who had a choice of two Shacharis minyanim; one was far slower than the other, allowing for more kavanna, but if he would daven in it he would have to leave before the end. Rav Auerbach answered that he should daven in the slower minyan even though he would have to leave early. However, he told the person that he should make known the reason for his early departure so as to avoid a possible chillul Hashem . Even though the shoel was following the halacho by leaving early, nevertheless he had to be aware of the possible consequences that this could have on others . One may ask, why should a person be judged by how his actions influence others if there is nothing intrinsically wrong with them - we are commanded to keep the 613 mitzvos; if a person does that then why should he suffer from others imitating him in a negative way? Rav Chaim of Volozhin zt”l writes that in the Shemoneh Esrei of Rosh Hashana we say that Hashem judges the “maaseh ish upekudaso”. Maaseh ish means a person’s own actions, but what does ‘pekudaso’ refer to? He explains that each person has a sphere of influence beyond himself, which includes his family, his students, and any people that come into contact with him. The way he influences these people through his own actions is ‘pekudaso’ and he is judged in that area as well. If, by observing his behaviour, they learn to improve their avodas Hashem then he will receive much reward but if the opposite occurs then he will be judged for his part in their aveiros just as he is judged for his own . A person’s actions do not take place in a vacuum, we are always being noticed by others, consequently we must constantly be aware of the possible effect we can have on others without even directly communicating with them. This idea is demonstrated in the following story told by Rav Dovid Kaplan Shlita: “Pesach the shoemaker died and went before the beis din shel maalah. He saw a massive pair of scales in front of him and a deep voice called out, ‘Bring in the mitzvos!” Angels dressed in white brought in several big bags stuffed with mitzvos. They poured them onto the scale, and the side of zechus went down, bringing a big smile to Pesach’s face. A voice then said, ‘bring in the aveiros!’ A couple of trucks full of black, gruesome-looking angels came in and began pouring the aveiros on the other side of the scale. The smile quickly faded from Pesach’s face. In the middle of the procedure he noticed something odd. ‘Wait, wait,’ he cried, ‘some of those aveiros are not mine. I never did that, that or that.’ ‘No,’ responded the beis din shel maalah, ’indeed you did not. Those are the aveiros of people who watched what you did and learned from your actions. You are responsible for their deeds. When you spoke in shul, Velvel saw you speaking and therefore thought it was okay to speak - you get his aveiro. When you left shul early and Chaim the shtreimel maker thought he could leave early as well, you are responsible for that misdeed, too. When you spoke lashon hara and those around you thought it okay to listen because it was you who was talking, you carry the responsibility as well… ” Thankfully, we can also benefit from this form of din through the positive effect we can have on our fellow: One way in which to do this is by being a positive example in our own behaviour and thereby inspire those around us to emulate us . Rav Aron Kotler zt”l notes that b’zman hazeh it is very difficult to rebuke someone effectively without embarrassing him. He suggests that one way to help him grow without fear of causing pain is rebuke by example; acting in such a way that inspires others to emulate his behaviour . A yeshiva bachur who, for example consistently arrives on time for Shacharis can influence his roommates to want to do the same; a baal habayis who is makpid to be kovaya itim letorah is an example to those who can’t find the time to learn regularly. Or a person who is careful not to speak lashon hara makes it difficult for those around him to do so by his mere presence. Rav Kotler is mechadesh that if a person deliberately excels in a certain area of avodas Hashem in order to effect onlookers, then he has fulfilled the mitzvo of tochacha. And the greater a person is, the more he can influence others in this way. A resolution to bring all of Jewry back to the Torah was found in the satchel of the great baal mussar, Rav Naftali Amsterdam zt”l. When asked how he planned to carry out this resolution, he replied, “I have resolved to keep all the laws of the Shulchan Aruch strictly. In this way I will serve as a living Shulchan Aruch and anyone who wants to keep the Torah will be able to see in me a living example of a complete Jew and learn from me how to return to the Torah .” Rav Shmuelevitz goes so far as to argue that causing others to fulfil a mitzvo is considered greater than doing the mitzvo oneself. One of his proofs is a Gemara in Sotah : The Gemara says that Yehuda’s body did not find rest until Moshe Rabbeinu prayed for him and mentioned one of his merits; Moshe said to Hashem, “who caused Reuven to confess to his sin [of moving his father’s bed]? Yehuda [when he confessed about the maaseh Tamar].” Rav Shmuelevitz points out that the only zechus that Moshe mentioned in his tefilla is that Yehuda caused Reuven to confess. Why didn’t he mention the great merit of Yehuda’s own confession, an act of great courage that saved the lives of three souls?! We are forced to answer that being mezakeh our fellow is greater than our own deed in and of itself and therefore the effect his deed had on Reuven was greater than the deed itself ! A person can never know when his deeds can influence others, even the smallest actions can have great effect as is demonstrated in the following true stories: Expecting a large crowd in shul on Yom Kippur, the tzaddik, Rav Elya Dushnitzer occupied himself by tearing pieces of toilet paper for public use in the large Petach Tikva shul’s bathroom. A secular Israeli stopped to watch what appeared to him as somewhat peculiar. “Why are you doing that,” he asked. “Tomorrow there is going to be a big crowd, and I don’t want anyone to be inconvenienced.” After becoming a baal teshuva, the Israeli explained what moved him to make a life change. “It was that rabbi. Every rip of paper made a tear deep in my heart. ” Unsure of whether to attend yeshiva full-time or to pursue a regular career, young Moshe decided to go to a yeshiva and see what the guys were like. As he was walking through the lunchroom, a bachur bumped into him, causing Moshe to spill his coffee on another boy seated at a table. Without a moment’s hesitation, the boy jumped up and called out, “Hey, Shimon, quickly bring another cup of coffee for Moshe!” Moshe decided that if this is what yeshiva bachurim are like, then he’s going to stay. He went on to become Rav Moshe Shwab, the mashgiach of Gateshead Yeshiva . The people in these stories who were the catalyst for the great changes people made in their lives, do not merely gain reward for their single action. The Mishna in Avos writes that a person who is mezakeh others receives incredible benefits ; It begins by saying that ‘sin will not come to his hand,’ - many commentators explain this to mean that he will receive great siyata dishmaya to avoid sin . The Mishna then describes Moshe Rabbeinu as an example of a mezakeh d’rabim and says that he receives reward for all the mitzvos that he caused to be done as if he fulfilled them himself. Thus, Rav Aaron Kotler notes that one who is mezakeh others with mitzvos receives incredible reward for his deeds. “one can not imagine the great gain a person receives through this; he is zocheh to extra heavenly protection to not stumble in sin and also to a great number of merits, something which would have been impossible for him to achieve through his own bechira . He writes further that this can help us in din; The Gemara says that the Sifrey Chaim and Sifsey Meisim are opened on Rosh Hashana. Tosefos explains that the dead are also judged . For what are they judged? Rav Kotler answers that even after a person’s death, the actions he committed in the world can still effect others , both positively or negatively. Thus, if a person helps others in such a way that the benefits are long-lasting, he can continue to reap the reward for this even after his own death . May we all be zocheh to the favourable din of the mezakeh harabim.

TAMIM TEHIYEH - SHOFTIM

SHOFTIM - TAMIM TEHIYEH By Yehonasan Gefen The Torah tells us “You should go with innocence before Hashem, your G-d .” Rashi explains that a person should accept the lot that Hashem gives him without trying to discern the future, rather he should accept everything with love and innocence. The Chofetz Chaim zt”l would make an inference from the passuk; it says that one should act with innocence with Hashem, but not with other people. During a person’s dealings with others he should use great wisdom and thought and not let himself be duped by untrustworthy people. The example he would bring was that of Yaako Avinu, who was called an ‘ish tam’ and yet acted with great cunning in his dealings with Lavan. On one occasion a number of B’nei Torah complained to the Chofetz Chaim about how they had been tricked out of a large amount of money by dishonest merchants. He told them this passuk and noted that since they had spent so much time in Yeshiva they had become used to going in temimus with Hashem. Their error, however, was that they had thought that it is also possible to go in temimus with their fellow man as well . This lesson of the Chofetz Chaim zt”l seems very logical, however it needs to be reconciled with the mitzvo of “b’tzedek tishpot es amisecha:” This mitzvo teaches us that we must strive to judge our fellow man favorably, even when it seems that he is acting in a negative way. How is it possible to judge people favorably whilst simultaneously being suspicious of their righteousness? One could answer simply that we must, in our minds, judge our fellow favorably, but at the same time, be careful to take practical precautions to avoid being harmed in the eventuality that the other person is not trustworthy . There are two problems with this approach: Firstly, it seems almost impossible to adopt such a seeming contradictory attitude to the same person - how can a person be expected to genuinely judge his fellow favorably and simultaneously treat him in a suspicious manner ? Secondly, it seems difficult to say that the Torah should command us to give the benefit of the doubt to people of whom there is genuine reason to treat with distrust. In order to reconcile these concepts it is necessary to analyze the mitzvo of “b’tzedek tishpot es amisecha” on a deeper level. There are many stories in which a person seemed to be acting in a clearly negative way and yet in truth there was some wild explanation for their behavior. Such stories imply that the mitzvo to judge favorably requires that we always strive to find the benefit of the doubt even when doing so seems to defy logic. In truth, this does not seem to be an accurate understanding of what this mitzvo involves. The Rishonim write that there are different categories of people for whom there are different requirements of judging favorably . There is the ‘tzadik’, the ‘beinoni’, the ‘rasha’ and the ‘eino makiro’, (stranger): The tzadik is someone who hardly ever commits a sin - with regards to him we must judge him favorably even if his actions lean very strongly to a negative interpretation: The beinoni is a person who generally avoids sin but on occasion does falter - we must judge him favorably in situations that could be perceived equally in a positive and negative way, however when his actions seem negative we are not commanded to judge him favorably . The rasha regularly sins and as a consequence we need not judge him favorably even when his actions seem positive. Indeed, Rabbeinu Yonah says that we should judge him unfavorably ! An eino makiro is someone that we do not know - there is no obligation with regards to judging him . What is difficult about all the above gedarim is that there is no allusion to them in the Torah or Chazal - the Torah makes no differentiation between different people, it simply tells us to judge our fellow favorably, implying that this applies equally to every Jew. Where did the Rishonim see such chilukim between different kinds of people?! My Rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits Shlita explains that the mitzvo of judging favorably does not mean that we should irrationally judge every act in a positive way, rather it is telling us that we should judge people in a logical, reasonable and fair manner; a person may have a tendency to judge others in a harsh manner and not give them a fair judgement, the Torah comes and tells us that this is wrong, however it does not instruct us to judge people in an illogical fashion. Based on this understanding it becomes clear why the Rishonim gave different gedarim to different people: With regard to a tzaddik, even if he does something that seems like an aveiro is logical to assume that he did not do anything wrong. For example, if one sees a person who is known to be very strict on eating kosher, going into a non-kosher restaurant, it is logical to assume that he is not going in, in order to eat non-kosher food. Furthermore, even if we see him putting the food into his mouth it is more logical to say that he needs to eat in order to save his life and therefore it is permitted for him to eat this non-kosher food at this time. In contrast, when a rasha does something that seems positive, it is nevertheless logical that there is a negative way of interpreting his behavior. The same logic applies to the other categories - when it is logical to judge someone favorably the Torah requires that we do so, but when it is not, then there is no Torah obligation to judge favorably and there are even times when one should judge his fellow unfavorably. With this understanding we can now reconcile the mtizvo of judging favorably with the Chofetz Chaim’s teaching that people should not be naïve. The mitzvo does not tell us to be naïve, in contrast it instructs us to be realistic and at times tells us that we should judge people in an unfavorable manner. Thus, when we are dealing with people in business, for example, ‘b’tzedek tishpot’ teaches us that we should not be naïve, rather we should judge people fairly and accurately. As we noted before, it is important to remember that this in and of itself is no easy task - a person’s natural leaning may be to judge people in a unfair fashion. This, the Torah tells us, is wrong, rather we should strive to see people in a fair light.

ELUL - A TIME OF OPPORTUNITY

ELUL - A TIME OF OPPORTUNITY By Yehonasan Gefen Elul marks the beginning of the countdown toward the Yamim Noraim (High Holy Days). What is the significance of this month? The Ramchal writes that time is a forward-moving spiral. Every year the same spiritual forces are available on that day as in history. For example, just as on Rosh Hashanah Adam HaRishon was created, so too, every year on this day we have the potential for being re-created. What does the month of Elul correspond to in history? The Bnei Yissachar writes that it corresponds to the period before creation. What existed before creation? Only Hashem's will to do good to another, to give of Himself and thus to create the world. Accordingly, today, the month of Elul corresponds to the period before creation, when G-d is ready to give to those who want to receive . Thus these days are called 'yemai ratzon', days when Hashem's desire for us to come close to Him is manifest more than at any other time of the year. Accordingly, Elul is the time that is most mesugal for genuine growth. In what way can a person strive to make real changes during this period? In order to answer this, it is first necessary to discuss the incorrect ways of approaching teshuva. One common occurrence is that a person does little real contemplation about what is holding him back, before Yom Kippur. When that holy day arrives, he suffices with apologizing for all this sins, without having any concrete plan of how to avoid committing them in the future. Inevitably, the day after Yom Kippur, he returns to normal, and nothing has really changed. A more positive approach is to at least take on a small kabbala (undertaking) such as praying from a siddur. Nonetheless, my Rebbe, Rav Berkovits Shlita argues that such undertakings can distract us from the real changes that will enable us to remove the obstacles that prevent us from coming closer to Hashem. It is also praiseworthy to learn sefarim that discuss teshuva. However it is not sufficient to merely learn about teshuva, rather one must actively go about doing it in an effective manner. Rav Berkovits explains that this time offers a great opportunity for a person to really analyze and understand himself, and to identify those factors that are preventing him from reaching his true potential. In order to properly do teshuva on the Aseres Yemai Teshuva, it is essential that one begin this cheshbon hanefesh early in Elul, and not wait until Rosh HaShana to start thinking about how he can change. It is not sufficient to merely identify the sins that one commits. The Vilna Gaon writes that midos (character traits) lie at the root of every aveiro and mitzvo . Accordingly, the key is for each person to understand and identify the underlying midos (character traits) that cause him to stray from the ideal path. Often, one particular trait can be the cause of a large variety of sins. For example, a person may note that he is weak in getting up in the morning for Shacharis, wastes too much time, and gets easily frustrated with those around him, causing him to speak to them in an overly harsh manner . It is conceivable that all these sins arise from laziness, or a desire for comfort. This understandably causes a person to find it hard to arise in the morning and wasting time. But it can also be the cause of frustration. This feeling comes about as a result of things not being the way one wanted them to be. This is often the way that is most comfortable, and therefore when other people cause a person to do things that he does not want to do, he feels that they are causing him a lack of comfort. Consequently, he becomes frustrated with them . Elul is a time of great opportunity, and simultaneously, great fear. The Pirkei DeRebbe Eliezer tells us that we blow the shofar on Elul to demonstrate the fear that we feel as we approach the Yamim Noraim . What is the reason for the fear of Elul? Rav Avraham Grodzinski zt"l, explains that the fear of Elul is the fear of missing the great opportunity that is present . This is the time that is most mesugal to bring oneself back to Hashem. May we all merit to not waste this golden opportunity and make real, lasting changes.

ראה – נתינה בחיוך יהונתן גפן

בס"ד ראה – נתינה בחיוך יהונתן גפן בפרשתנו מדובר על מצות הצדקה, ומובטחת ברכה מיוחדת לאדם שיקיים מצווה זו בשמחה: "נתון תתן לו [לעני] ולא ירע לבבך בתתך לו כי בגלל הדבר הזה יברכך ה' אלקיך בכל מעשיך ובכל משלח ידך" הגמרא מונה את מספר הברכות להן זוכה אדם שנותן צדקה: "אמר ר' יצחק כל הנותן פרוטה לעני מתברך בשש ברכות והמפייסו בדברים [בעת שנותן את הצדקה] מתברך [בנוסף] בי"א ברכות" . הגר"א מסביר שהפסוק מרמז שבע עשרה הברכות במילים "בגלל הדבר הזה" – המילה "הזה" עולה בגימטרייה ל- 17, כרמז למספר הגבוה ביותר של ברכות בהן יכול אדם לזכות כאשר הוא נותן צדקה באופן המשובח ביותר . גמרא זו נראית לכאורה מוקשית. יוצא מדבריה שכאשר אדם מדבר אל חבירו בפיוס ובידידות הוא זוכה לכמעט פי שתיים ברכות מאדם אחר שרק נותן כסף. אין ספק שלפייס את חבירו בדברים זוהי הנהגה טובה מאד, אולם מדוע רואה הגמרא בהנהגה זו עניין כה חשוב, הרבה יותר מהענקת כסף לאדם עני שכה נזקק לכך?! באבות דרבי נתן מצינו רעיון דומה אשר בעזרתו נוכל לענות על שאלה זו: "והוי מקבל כל האדם בסבר פנים יפות, כיצד, מלמד שאם נתן אדם לחבירו כל מתנות טובות שבעולם ופניו כבושים בארץ מעלה עליו הכתוב כאילו לא נתן לו כלום אבל המקבל את חבירו בסבר פנים יפות אפילו לא נתן לו כלום מעלה עליו הכתוב כאילו נתן לו כל מתנות טובות שבעולם" בעל ה"שפתי חיים" מסביר שאדם זקוק יותר מכל להתעניינותו של הזולת ודאגתו לשלומו ולטובתו. כאשר אדם נותן מתנה לחבירו הוא רק מסמל לו בכך שהוא חשב עליו, על צרכיו ורצונותיו וחיפש מה יגרום לו שמחה וטוב לבב. באין תחושת חמימות נלוית למתנה - המטרה העיקרית חסרה, כיוון שהמתנה לא מעניקה למקבל תחושה טובה שאכן דאגו לו וחשבו עליו. לעומת זאת כאשר אדם מתייחס בחביבות ובידידות לזולתו, אף אם לא ייתן לו שום חפץ ממשי, הוא מספק לו צורך בסיסי ביותר הקיים אצלו ואצל כל אדם בעולם – התחושה שיש מי שדואג לו ומעריך אותו . על פי הסבר זה אנו יכולים לענות גם על שאלתנו הקודמת. אדם הנותן צדקה ומפייס את חבירו ומעודדו, בכך הוא מעניק לו הרבה יותר מאשר כסף - הוא מעניק לו תחושה חמה ונעימה של חשיבות, בכך שהוא מוכיח דאגה כנה לשלומו. אנו למדים מכך שהתעניינות ודאגה כנה לזולת היא ממעשי החסד החשובים והגדולים ביותר שבידינו לקיים, אפילו יותר מנתינת צדקה גרידא. ישנם מאמרי חז"ל רבים המדגישים את החשיבות הגדולה שיש ליחס חביב ונחמד לזולת. הגמרא אומרת על רבן יוחנן בן זכאי שהיה מקדים בשלום כל אדם – עוד לפני שהספיקו להקדים אותו, ואפילו לגוי שבשוק היה מקדים שלום . הרב דן רוט שליט"א מסביר מה אנו יכולים ללמוד מדברי חז"ל אלה. רבן יוחנן בן זכאי היה גדול תלמידי החכמים בזמנו, והיה נשיאם של ישראל, המעמד הגבוה ביותר בעם היהודי באותה תקופה. ובכל זאת, למרות מעמדו הנכבד, הוא תמיד הצליח להקדים ולומר שלום לפני שהספיקו האחרים, הוא ידע והבין אל נכון את הכוח והחשיבות של ברכת שלום לכל אדם. כאשר מקדמים אדם ב'בוקר טוב' מוכיחים בכך הערכה וכבוד לאישיותו. בעולם בו רבים חשים שהם אינם מוערכים מספיק, בעזרת ברכת שלום חמה אפשר להוכיח לאדם שאנו חושבים עליו, ורואים בו משהו בעל ערך, שווה התיחסות. אמורים הדברים גם כלפי גויים, ובמיוחד לאותם אנשים שאנו נוטים לא להבחין במציאותם כגון נהגי מוניות, מנקי רחובות, שומרים ומאבטחים . המעשה הבא הינו סיפור אמיתי המוכיח עד כמה חשוב לכל אחד ואחד ללמוד מהנהגתו של רבן יוחנן בן זכאי: יהודי אחד היה עובד בבית חרושת לבשר בנורבגיה. לקראת סוף יום העבודה הוא נכנס לתוך אחד המקפיאים לצורך פיקוח ובדיקה. מפתח הבטיחות של דלת המקפיא החליק, הדלת נסגרה ואותו אדם נכלא בתוך המקפיא ללא יכולת יציאה. הוא ניסה לדפוק בחזקה על הדלת ולצרוח בכל כוחו – אך ללא הועיל. רוב העובדים יצאו זה מכבר לבתיהם, ובכל מקרה קולו בקושי נשמע מבעד לדלתות המקפיא הכבדות. הוא היה בתוך החדר במשך חמש שעות ועמד על סף מות מהכפור העז ששרר שם. לפתע נפתחה הדלת, שומר בית החרושת נכנס לחדר והציל את חייו. מאוחר יותר נשאל השומר מדוע עלה בדעתו לפתוח את דלת המקפיא, והוא הסביר "אני עובד במפעל מזה שלושים וחמש שנה, מאות עובדים מגיעים לכאן מידי יום. היהודי הזה הוא היחיד שמברכני בשלום בוקר וערב. כל שאר העובדים אינם מתייחסים אלי כלל, כאילו אינני קיים. הבוקר הוא ברכני בשלום בבוקר – אך לא בערב. מידי יום אני ממתין ומצפה לברכת השלום שלו, וכיוון שהייתי בטוח שהוא לא אמר לי שלום כשיצא – ידעתי שהוא חייב להיות היכן-שהוא בפנים, בתוך המפעל – לכן נכנסתי וחיפשתי אותו שם". ברכת שלום פשוטה הייתה כה חשובה לאותו שומר, הוא ציפה לה מידי יום ביומו. עלינו להשתדל להיות כמו אותו יהודי שקידם בשלום בתמידות מידי יום, ולא כאותם אחרים שהתייחסו אליו כאילו הוא כלל אינו קיים. חשוב לציין שהתנהגות ידידותית וחביבה אינה נחשבת אך ורק למעשה ראוי לשבח, אלא זוהי חובה המוטלת על כל יהודי ויהודי. הרב דסלר זצ"ל מציין את העובדה שהמשנה באבות המורה לכל יהודי להקדים בשלום כל אדם נאמרה בשמו של שמאי. היה לכאורה נשמע מתאים יותר לו הייתה נאמרת משנה זו בשם הלל, המשתייך יותר למידת החסד מאשר שמאי הידוע כבעל הנהגה של מידת הדין . הרב דסלר מסביר שמכך לומדים שאין זו מידת חסידות בעלמא אלא זהו חיוב גמור . ומעבר לכך, הגמרא כותבת: "כל שיודע בחבירו שהוא רגיל ליתן לו שלום יקדים לו שלום... ואם נתן לו ולא החזיר נקרא גזלן" , הרב דסלר מסביר שכאשר אדם נמנע מהחזרת שלום לברכת חברו, הוא גוזל ממנו את כבודו העצמי – וזהו חטא חמור. אכן, כאשר אדם חוזר בתשובה על עוון הגזל על צורותיו השונות – עליו לכלול בוידויו את חטא "גזילת שלום", ולקבל על עצמו שבעתיד יתייחס בכבוד יתר לזולת. ראינו שזהו חיוב גמור להתייחס לזולת בידידות ובחום, בכך אנו מעניקים לו תחושה אמיתית של כבוד וערך עצמי. מהי הדרך להתעלות ולהתקדם בשטח חיוני וחשוב זה של עבודת ה'? כדאי לנסות למצוא בסביבתנו בני אדם שאין להם הרבה מכרים וידידים ולהשתדל להתידד איתם, בעיקר אמורים הדברים לגבי דיירים חדשים אשר חשים באופן טבעי זרות וחוסר חשיבות בסביבה החדשה. אולם גם לכל אחד אחר בסביבתנו, גם המוכרים לנו ביותר - אלה שלא נדרש ממנו מאמץ גדול להקדימם בשלום בצורה יפה ונעימה - חשוב עד מאד לעשות זאת. יתן ה' ונזכה כולנו להתייחס לזולת בצורה נכונה, ולהעניק לו את מה שאכן הוא זקוק לו באמת.

MOURNING: THE BODY AND THE SOUL - RE'EH

RE’EH – MOURNING: THE BODY AND THE SOUL By Yehonasan Gefen In Parshas Re’eh, the Torah outlines certain acts of mourning that were practiced by the non-Jews in those times. Some would make cuts in their body, whilst others would tear out hair between their eyes. The Torah forbids such actions, saying: “You are children of G-d, do not cut yourselves, nor tear out hair between your eyes over a death.” Similarly, in Parshas Kedoshim, the Torah tells us: "You should not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you; I am Hashem." These mitzvos teach that it is wrong to make a cut in one's body as a sign of mourning. In contrast, there is a positive commandment to tear one's clothing on the occasion of the death of a close relative (this is known as kriah). The Shulchan Aruch states: "Someone whose relative has died, (if it is a relative that one is required to mourn over), must tear [their garment] for them." It is striking how very similar actions of tearing are regarded so differently in Jewish law, to the extent that cutting one's flesh is forbidden and yet, tearing one's clothing is obligatory? In order to understand the difference between cutting one's body and cutting one's clothing, it is necessary to analyze the first event in the Torah in which clothing plays a role - that of the chet (sin) of Adam Harishon. The Torah tells us that before the chet, Adam and Chava did not wear any clothes, yet they felt no shame. However, after they ate from the fruit, they then realized that they were naked and they wore clothes to cover their shame. What change took place as a result of the sin? We know that man is comprised of two, contrasting features; a body and a soul. It seems that it was always understood that it was inappropriate for one's essence to be exposed, and therefore there was the necessity of some kind of 'covering', or clothing. Before the sin, Adam primarily identified himself as a soul, and his body took on the role of a kind of 'clothing' for the soul. Accordingly, there was no need for garments to act as clothing for the body, because the body was a kind of clothing in and of itself. However, after the sin, man's primary identity shifted to being that of a body. Once he viewed his body as being the ikar , he felt embarrassed when it was uncovered. Accordingly he needed clothing to cover himself. With this insight into the relationship between body and soul, we can now gain a deeper understanding of the significance of tearing one's clothing or cutting one's body. Since the chet of Adam Harishon, man lives his life primarily focusing on himself as a body. Thus, when a person dies, one could mistakenly think that his whole being is gone forever. However, this is a serious mistake - he has only lost his body, but his soul remains extant. Accordingly, he is commanded to tear his clothing to remind him in his time of grief, that his loved one's essence has not disappeared. Only his body, which was the clothing for his soul, has been lost, however his soul is intact. This explains why it is forbidden to make a cut in one's flesh. To do so indicates a belief that this person ceases to exist in all forms. The Torah's directives about mourning teaches not only about the correct attitude to death but also to how one should approach his life as well. With regard to death, we learn that death is not the end of a person's existence. We recognize that a person’s loved one has moved on to a higher plain of existence. Making cuts in one's body symbolizes a belief that the deceased ceases to exist in any form. Accordingly, it is a totally inappropriate action. With regard to life, these lessons remind a person that he should not lose sight of the fact that his soul is the primary source of his identity and his body is a temporary vessel whose job is to facilitate the well-being of the soul. Accordingly, whilst one must provide for the basic physical needs of the body, he should not do so as an end in itself, rather to strengthen himself to be in a healthy physical state to embark on his spiritual endeavors. This is very difficult, given the state of man after the sin of Adam Harishon, however, the more one strengthens his recognition of the primacy of the soul, the more he will be able to put this lesson into practice. May we all merit to understand the Torah approach to life and death.

THE VALUE OF FRIENDLINESS - RE'EH

RE’EH - THE VALUE OF FRIENDLINESS The parsha discusses the mitzvo of tzedaka and promises a special bracha to one who fulfils this mitzvo b’simcha: “You will surely give to him [the poor man] and you should not feel bad in your heart when giving him; because of this thing (davar hazeh) Hashem, your G-d will bless you in all your deeds and your every undertaking. ” The Gemara discusses the amount of brachos one receives when he gives tzedaka: “Rebbi Yitzchak says, ‘one who gives a prutah to a poor person is blessed with six brachos and one who speaks kindly to him [whilst giving the prutah] is blessed with [an additional] eleven brachos .” The Gra explains that these 17 brachos are alluded to in the passuk - the Torah says that a person will receive the blessing, “because of davar hazeh” - the word hazeh is gematria of 17, thus alluding to the maximum amount of brachos one can receive if he gives tzedaka in the optimum manner . However, this Gemara seems difficult to understand: It says that a person receives nearly double as many brachos for speaking in a friendly manner as for giving money - of course being friendly is a good hanhaga but why does the Gemara consider it so much greater than providing a poor person with the money he so desperately needs?! There is an Avos d’Rebbi Nosson which discusses a similar inyan that can help us answer this question. It says, “one should greet every man with a friendly countenance… if a person gives to his friend all the gifts in the world, but his face is sullen, it is considered as if he gave nothing. But one who greets his fellow with a friendly countenance, even if he gave him no gifts, it is considered as if he gave him all the best gifts in the world. ” The Sifsei Chaim explains that what people want more than anything is for others to show an interest in and care about them. A gift is merely an indication that the giver thought about the needs of his fellow and how he could give him joy. However, without an accompanying show of warmth the ikar tachlis of the gift is lost because the person does not feel as if he is being genuinely cared about. In contrast when a person is friendly to his fellow even without giving any gifts, then he is providing him with his ikar need, the desire to feel cared about . This explanation can also be used to answer our question. A person who gives tzedaka with a friendly attitude is giving much more than money, he is nourishing the poor man with a sense of importance by showing that he is cared about. We learn from here how showing an interest in our fellow is one of the greatest possible chasadim we can do, even greater than giving tzedaka. There are a number of places where Chazal stress the importance of being friendly. The Gemara tells us that Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai greeted everyone before they could greet him, even the non-Jew in the market-place . Rav Dan Roth Shlita explains what we can learn from this Chazal: Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai was the greatest Sage in his time and was the nasi, the highest ranking position amongst the Jewish people. And yet, despite his high rank and prestige, he never failed to greet other people first. He recognised the power of a friendly greeting - wishing someone ‘good morning’ shows that you acknowledge who he or she is. In a world where people are often not appreciated enough, by greeting someone we show that we see him as something of worth. This applies to non-Jews and especially to those people that we tend not to notice or acknowledge such as taxi drivers, street cleaners and security guards . The following true stories demonstrate how important it is to learn from Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai. A Jew was working in a meat-packing plant in Norway. Towards the end of the day he went into one of the freezers to do an inspection. The freezer door slipped off its safety latch and closed, trapping the man in the freezer. He tried banging on the door and yelling but no avail. Most of the workers had already gone home and the sound was muffled anyway by the heavy freezer door. He was in the room for five hours and on the verge of death. Suddenly the door opened. The security guard put his head in and came to his rescue and saved his life. The security guard was later asked why he thought to open that freezer door. He explained, “I have been working here for thirty-five years. Hundreds of workers come to this plant every day. This Jew is the only one who says hello to me in the morning and good-bye in the evening. All the other workers treat me as invisible. Today he said hello, but I never heard the good-bye. I wait for that hello and good-bye every day. Knowing I never heard it, I realised that he must be somewhere in the building so I searched for him. ’’ A simple ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ were so important to this security guard that he waited for them every day. We should strive to be like the Jew who greeted him so regularly and NOT like everyone else who treated him as if he didn’t exist. Rav Wolbe zt”l tells over the following story in Alei Shor . There was a baal teshuva in a yeshiva and his friends asked him who influenced him to be chozer b’teshuva. He answered, “I grew up in a mainly secular neighbourhood, but there was one religious Jew there. The residents of my area did not extend greetings to each other, the only exception being this one religious man. Every morning on my way to school I passed by this man he greeted me with a warm ’shalom’. I began to think to myself, ‘why is it that of all my neighbours only the religious man greets me - there must be something to his Torah!’ This was the start of how I came to complete teshuva.” It is clear from these stories that a friendly greeting can often have wonderful consequences. Moreover, it is a very great Kiddush Hashem when an observant Jew demonstrates that the Torah teaches us to show great warmth to our fellow man. It should be noted that these inyanim are not merely middos chassidus, rather they are obligations that are incumbent upon every Jew. Rav Dessler zt”l points out that the Mishna in Avos which tells us to greet people in a friendly manner is said in the name of Shammai. It would have seemed more appropriate for Hillel, who is associated with chesed to say this maamer than Shammai who is known for his midos hadin. Rav Dessler explains that this comes to teach us that greeting our fellow in a friendly way is a chiyuv gamoor . Moreover, the Gemara states that anyone who knows that his friend regularly greets him should strive to be the one to initiate the greeting and that if his friend greets him first and he does not return the greeting then he is called a thief . Rav Dessler explains that when one refrains from returning his friend’s greeting, he is stealing his self-worth and this is a terrible sin. When we are doing teshuva for the various forms of stealing he should include the aveiro of ’gezeilas shalom’ and commit to being more friendly in the future. There is another way of expressing an interest in others - smiling. The Gemara says that one who smiles to his friend is better than one who feeds him . This teaches that showing simcha at seeing someone gives him more joy than providing gashmius . The Gedolim spoke very strongly about the importance of smiling. The Alter of Slobodka said that someone who walks in public with a gloomy face is like a ’bor bereshus harabim’ (a hole in a public area) - when he is in public he has no right to force others to see his gloomy face . Moreover, he saw an inability to smile a negative mida; a senior talmid from a famous yeshiva in Poland stopped by in Slobodka on his way back from Lithuania. The Alter told him several times to smile. The talmid, who had been trained all his life to be serious and tense, could not change his habit, and did not smile. The Alter regarded this as a serious character flaw and refused to allow his grandson to cross the border n the company of that talmid . In a similar vein, the Sefer Yireim writes that just as there is an issur of onaas devarim, causing pain with hurtful words, so too there is a form of ‘onaah’ in showing an unhappy face . One may argue that there is a requirement of yiras shamayim that seems to contradict the requirement to be constantly smiling. The Gedolim also dealt with this issue at length . In short their maskana is that a person should internally feel an element of seriousness about life, but externally they must show happiness. Rav Yitzchak Blazer zt”l brings a story from his Rebbe, Rav Yisroel Salanter zt”l to show just how important it is to avoid letting one’s own coved rosh effect other people. One Erev Yom Kippur, Rav Salanter was walking to shul for Kol Nidrei. Whilst walking he turned to speak to someone he knew, but the person was in the midst of aimas hadin and did not reply. Rav Salanter commented, “why should I suffer because of his aimas hadin?!” We have seen how there is a clear obligation to show warmth in our interactions with our fellow man and that by doing so we can give him a true sense of self-worth. How can a person strive to improve in this vital area of avodas Hashem? Sifsei Chaim suggests that in the area of smiling, we should utilise the principle that our external actions effect our internal being. Therefore a person should try to smile even if he doesn’t feel in the state of mind to do so. By showing an expression of simcha, he should begin to feel genuine simcha in his heart. In the area of greeting one’s fellow, it is recommended to notice anyone in our neighbourhood who doesn’t seem to know many people and to try to befriend them. This applies especially to new members of the Kehilla who naturally feel unknown and unimportant in their new neighbourhood. But it is even worthwhile to say a friendly word to anyone in the community with whom we have thus far not made any effort to do so. May we all be zocheh to treat our fellow in the way that he deserves.

HOW TO GIVE TO OTHERS - RE'EH

RE’EH - HOW TO GIVE TO OTHERS By Yehonasan Gefen This week’s Parsha is the source of the mitzvo to give tzedaka. The Torah tells us that we should give a person “enough for his lack which is lacking to him. ” Chazal learn out from the words, “to him” at the end of the passuk that we must give according to each individual’s specific needs. For example, if a person who was wealthy and used to an extravagant lifestyle then became poor, we must try to give him to the extent that he can live according to his previous standing . In this vein, Chazal tell us of a man who had been accustomed to traveling on a carriage with servants running in front of him. When he lost his money, Hillel HaZaken ensured that he have a carriage to ride and even ran in front of the carriage himself ! This concept teaches us a fundamental principle in chesed - that we must give according to the specific needs of the other person. A significant part of the avoda of chesed is to discern each person’s unique requirements and strive to fulfill them. This is not an easy task because each person views the world through his own eyes and one can easily project his own desires and needs onto others and consequently provide them with what it would be important to the giver but is not so important to the receiver. For example, if a person likes apples he may presume that others also do and therefore he will feel he is doing a great chesed by giving them apples. However, the recipient of his ‘chesed’ may prefer oranges, thus the giver did not truly satisfy his friend’s needs because he presumed that he had the same tastes as himself. This concept, however, seems to contradict the most fundamental mitzvo in bein adam lechaveiro; that of ‘love your neighbor like yourself’. Hillel interpreted this mitzvo to primarily mean that ‘‘that which is hateful to you do not do to your friend”. This teaches us that the mitzvo is to treat one’s friend in the same way that one would like to be treated himself, which implies that one does not have to try to understand his fellow’s specific needs, rather the mitzvo is limited to treating the receiver according to the giver’s own personal preferences. This would indicate that if a person likes apples then he should give apples to his friend because he would like his friend to do the same to him, and the fact that his friend actually prefers oranges is irrelevant. The Chofetz Chaim zt”l raises this question in the context of hilchos lashon hara : He writes that some statements are not objectively lashon hara, rather they depend on the subject of discussion. For example, to say that Ploni learns 4 hours a day could be a positive statement or a transgression of lashon hara - it depends about who is being spoken about. If one would say that a working man learns 4 hours a day, then that would be a praiseworthy statement, however to say the same thing about an avreich would be lashon hara. The Chofetz Chaim then says that one may ask the aforementioned kasha; a person who works himself may argue that he would like people to say about him that he learns 4 hours a day, therefore it should be permissible to say the same thing about someone who is supposed to learn the whole day. The proof of this argument is Hillel’s statement that it is only forbidden to do to someone what we would not like him to do to us, but in this case we would very much like to be spoken about in such a way. The Chofetz Chaim answers that when Hillel said, “that which is hateful to you do not do to your friend”, he meant that if you were on his level or in his situation, then this would be hateful to you, even if it is not actually hateful to you at your present standing. This teaches us that the mitzvo of ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ does not in fact contradict the concept of doing chesed according to the other person’s needs. Rather it means that, just like we would like our fellow to do what is beneficial in our eyes, and avoid what it hateful in our eyes, so too, we must treat him in a way that is beneficial in his eyes. Rav Yisroel Salanter zt”l taught and demonstrated the importance of understanding other people’s needs and situations throughout his life. On one occasion, a talmid saw Rav Salanter conversing with someone about mundane matters, which was very out of character for him, because he would generally only speak words of Torah. Later, during a discussion on idle speech, the talmid asked Rav Salanter why he was speaking about such mundane matters. He explained that the man with whom he was speaking was depressed and it was great chesed to cheer him up now. Said Rav Salanter, “how could I cheer him up? With talk of Mussar and fear of G-d? The only way was with light, pleasant conversation about worldly matters. ” He understood the needs of this man and acted accordingly. We have seen how the foundation of true chesed is understanding our fellow’s needs and trying to fulfill them, rather than presuming that that which is important to us is also important to them. This avoda occurs constantly in every kind of relationship. In marriage, it is very common that husband and wife have different interests; for example, when the wife talks about something that is important to her, the husband may not feel a great deal of enthusiasm in this particular topic. However, he or she should recognize that this is important to the other one and therefore express interest in that which is important to her. Similarly, children have very different interests than their parents and their parents may not be so fascinated by the childish pursuits of their children. Nonetheless it is essential that they do not dismiss their children’s enthusiastic discussion because to do so shows a severe lack of empathy and concern with their children’s needs. There are countless likewise situations throughout our lives and it is vital to work on this area in order to become genuine baalei chesed.

עקב – תועלתם של ייסורים

עקב – תועלתם של ייסורים יהונתן גפן "וידעת עם לבבך כי כאשר ייסר איש את בנו ה' אלוקיך מיסרך" בפסוק קצר זה מלמדת אותנו התורה מידה יסודית ביותר – מידת הביטחון. בדיוק כשם שאב מעניש את בנו אך ורק בשל אהבתו הגדולה אליו ומתוך מטרה אחת ויחידה, טובת עתידו של בנו, כך גם עונשים מאת ה' עלינו נובעים מאהבתו העצומה של הקב"ה אלינו וכל כוונתם היא אך ורק לטובתנו. כאשר אדם מגיע למצב של קושי, ניסיון כלשהו, צער או כאב עליו להבין שבסופו של דבר רק טוב יצא ממצבו. ישנו לימוד נוסף הנלמד מהשוואה זו של הקב"ה לאב. אב רחום מעניש את בנו בצורה כזו המכוונת את הבן ללמוד מטעותו ולשפר את התנהגותו בעתיד. אם הבן ממשיך ושוגה גם לאחר העונש, אות היא שהוא לא קיבל את העונש בצורה נכונה ולא הפיק ממנו את התועלת הרצויה. באותה מידה כאשר הקב"ה מעניש אותנו הוא על פי רוב מנסה לאותת לנו בכך שעלינו לשנות את הנהגתנו בנושא מסוים בחיים . רעיון זה אינו מהווה חידוש לרובינו, אולם על פי רוב משוחחים על כך באופן מעורפל מאד – שכאשר קורה ל"ע מקרה עצוב סימן הוא שעלינו לשוב בתשובה. אמנם התעוררות זו רבת חשיבות וראויה לציון ולשבח, אולם בדרך כלל היא אינה מגיעה לכלל מעשה, בשל היותה כוללנית ומעורפלת. מאמר זה ידון בתפקידם של היסורים בחיינו, מתוך תקווה לספק תמונה ברורה יותר על הדרך הטובה ביותר בה עלינו להוציא את מירב התועלת מן היסורים. הרב אברהם גרודזינסקי זצ"ל, המשגיח של ישיבת סלבודקה, דן בעניין הייסורים באריכות רבה בספרו תורת אברהם . הוא כותב שמטרתה העיקרית של הנבואה הייתה להוכיח את העם ולהודיע להם מהם המעשים שעליהם לתקן. גם במקרה בו נראה היה לכאורה שהם נוהגים כראוי ולא חוטאים כלל, הנביא היה יורד לעומק פנימיותם, ומאתר שטחים שהיו לוקים מעט בחסר. ר' אברהם ממשיך ושואל - בתקופתנו, בה אין חזון ואין נבואה כיצד מעביר אלינו הקב"ה את מסריו, כיצד הוא מודיע לנו מה פגום במעשינו? הוא משיב שהייסורים הם התחליף לנבואה בימינו. כאשר אדם נתון בצרה, קטנה ככל שתהא, עליו לדעת שה' מדבר אליו ומסמן לו שעליו לשנות את התנהגותו בנושא מסוים. הייסורים אם כך, הינם מתנה עצומה – הם מספקים לנו את ההזדמנות לשנות את דרכינו לטוב. הגמרא אומרת שייסורים אינם אך ורק צרות גדולות וקשות, אלא הם כל קושי שהוא, אפילו הקטן ביותר, לדוגמא – אדם שרצה להוציא שלוש מטבעות מכיסו, אבל יצאו לו רק שתיים. כך הקב"ה מתקשר איתנו בכל רגע, על ידי הייסורים. הגמרא כותבת עוד יותר מכך, שאדם שעברו עליו ארבעים יום ללא ייסורים – סופו בגיהנם . כיוון שהקב"ה כביכול התייאש ממנו, הוא לא נותן לו עוד הזדמנות להשתנות, ולא שולח אליו סימנים ורמזים על מה שנדרש ממנו . השאלה המתבקשת היא כיצד יכול אדם לדעת מהו רצון ה', ומהו המסר אותו עליו ללמוד מהייסורים אותם קיבל? ודאי שאין אפשרות לדעת תשובה מוחלטת לכך, אבל בעל התורת אברהם מביא את היסוד של חז"ל שה' מעניש את האדם מידה כנגד מידה על חטאיו. לדוגמא המשנה בסוטה כותבת ששמשון חטא בשתי עיניו, לכן הוא נענש שהפלישתים ניקרו את עיניו, אבשלום התגאה בשיערו היפה, לכן נענש ושיערו הוא היה זה שגרם למותו כאשר נתפס בין ענפיו של עץ . אם כך ראוי לאדם לחפש אחר חטא שקשור באופן כלשהו לייסורים אותם קיבל, ולחשוש שמא זו היא הסיבה לייסורים. לדוגמא, אדם שסובל מכאב מסוים בפיו, ייתכן ועליו לבדוק ראשית האם הוא חטא בנושא הקשור לדיבור. ישנה דוגמא מצוינת לרעיון זה הקשורה בחייו של הרב גרודזינסקי זצ"ל. הוא סבל מצליעה קשה ובולטת. כאשר הוצע השידוך לראשונה לביתו של ר' בער הירש הלר, חסיה, היא סירבה לשידוך בשל כך. זמן קצר מאד לאחר מכן היא נפלה ממדרגות המרתף ושברה את רגלה. היא הסיקה מכך שזהו סימן עבורה לא לסרב לשידוך בשל רגלו הפגועה של הרב גרודזינסקי, ובזכות אותה פציעה היא נישאה לו . בכל אופן, אם נמצא את החטא ה"נכון" אליו כוונו הייסורים, ואף אם לא, החשוב ביותר הוא שנחפש אחריו. אם אותו כאב בפה ממנו סבל אותו אדם בדוגמא הקודמת הגיע בגלל שהוא דיבר שקר, והוא הסיק מכך שעליו לעבוד על עצמו בעניין לשון הרע – הרי שהשיג את מטרתם העיקרית של הייסורים – גדילה והשתנות לטובה. נקודה זו חשובה עד מאד, כיוון שישנה נטייה בימינו כאשר אדם סובל ממשהו, לחפש אחר סגולות שונות על מנת להשתחרר מסבלו. מורי ורבי, הרב יצחק ברקוביץ שליט"א אומר שבכך מפסידים את המטרה העיקרית. הקב"ה לא שולח לנו ייסורים כדי שנחפש ונמצא סגולה כלשהי (אף אם היא אכן מועילה והסבל נפסק), הוא רוצה ממנו משהו, הוא מצפה שנגדל ונתקדם. אין הכוונה לומר שהסגולות הן בהכרח שליליות, אולם אל לאדם לשכוח את התכלית האמיתית של הייסורים – כך הקב"ה מדבר אלינו, כך הוא דורש ממנו לגדול ולהשתנות . ישנה נקודה נוספת הקשורה לדרך בה עלינו להתייחס לייסורים. כאשר אדם נתון בקושי וצרה, קיימת נטייה אנושית 'לקבור ראשו בחול', להתעלם וכמעט 'לברוח מהעולם' עד שיעבור הכאב והקושי, ואז לשוב לחיים תקינים. אנו מנחמים את עצמנו בכך שאנו יודעים ומאמינים שהכול מאת ה', אבל עדיין אנו מחכים שהצרה תעבור ורק אז נוכל לשוב ולחיות כרגיל. זוהי התנהגות מובנת, אולם בדיוק כשם שאב אינו רוצה לראות את בנו מדוכא, מדוכדך וחסר מעש בשל העונש אותו קיבל, כך גם הקב"ה אינו רוצה לראותנו ממתינים שיעברו הייסורים. אנו יכולים להמשיך להתקדם בעבודת ה'. התקופה הקשה ביותר בחייו של הרב פאם זצ"ל הייתה בשנות העשרים המוקדמות של חייו, כאשר לא היה לו כל מקור פרנסה, ולא היה לו מושג מה צופן לו עתידו. האם באותה תקופה הייתה לו נסיגה בלימוד? ההיפך – ר' ישראל רייזמן שליט"א שאל אותו פעם מתי הוא למד סדר קדושים. הוא השיב שהיה זה באותה תקופה, בדיוק כאשר חייו נכנסו למערבולת קשה, הוא קיבל על עצמו ללמוד את החלק המסובך ביותר בתורה. אכן, תקופות של ייסורים הן זמנים בהם יש הזדמנות להתקדם ולגדול הרבה יותר מזמנים רגועים ושקטים. לדוגמא תפילותיו של האדם בזמנים כאלה בדרך כלל חזקות הרבה יותר, הוא מרגיש בכל רמ"ח איבריו את התלות בהקב"ה, ודאי יותר מבעת שהחיים זורמים על מי מנוחות. יתירה מזאת, ההיסטוריה מוכיחה שרבים מספריהם של רבותינו נכתבו דווקא בזמנים של ייסורים גדולים. ולא בכדי; כאשר תנאיו הגשמיים של האדם מצטמצמים, הוא מוצא לו מפלט בחיים הרוחניים, וכך כאשר סבלו גדולי ישראל בדורות עבָרו וחיו חיי עוני וצער, מתוך כך הם הגיעו לדרגות גבוהות ברוחניות בלימוד. הקב"ה אוהב כל אחד מאיתנו עוד יותר מאב את בנו; הוא מעניש ומכאיב כאשר הוא רואה שיש בכך צורך. אנחנו בדרך כלל לא מבינים מדוע מגיע לנו כזה כאב. בעולם הזה ייתכן ולעולם לא נדע, אולם דבר אחד בטוח, שזו הדרך בה הקב"ה מדבר אלינו, רצונו שנשמע את קולו דרך הייסורים, שנסיק מכך את המסקנות הנכונות, ושנגדל ונתקרב אליו עוד ועוד.

THE BENEFITS OF YISSURIM - EIKEV

EKEV - THE BENEFITS OF YISSURIM By Yehonasan Gefen “And you should know in your heart that just as a father punishes his son, Hashem punishes you. In this short sentence the Torah is teaching us the most basic tenet of bitachon. Just as a father only punishes a son because of his love for him and for his ultimate benefit, so too any punishments that Hashem sends to us also emanates from His great love for us and is only for our good. When a person finds himself in a painful or challenging situation he should realize that it is ultimately for the good. However, there is another life lesson that we learn from this comparison of Hashem to a father. A good father punishes his son in such a way that the son is intended to learn from his mistake and improve his behaviour. If the son continues to err even after the punishment then he has not enabled the onesh (punishment) to reach its desired purpose. So too, when Hashem punishes us He is, in most instances, trying to show us that we need to improve in some aspect of our behaviour . This idea is not a chiddush to most people, however it is usually discussed in a very vague way - that when bad things happen we need to ‘do teshuva’. This approach, whilst commendable, often seems to be unproductive because of its vagueness. In this article, the role of ‘yissurim ’ in our lives will be discussed, and hopefully will provide a clearer picture of how we can best utilise them. The Mashgiach of Slobodka, Rav Avraham Grodzinski zt”l discusses the inyan of yissurim at length in his sefer, Toras Avraham . He writes that the main purpose of prophecy was to communicate to the people how they were erring. Even when, ostensibly they were doing nothing wrong, the prophet would delve deep into their hearts and pinpoint an area in which they were lacking. He asks, in the post-prophecy era how does Hashem communicate to us to tell us what we are doing wrong? He answers that ‘yissurim’ are the replacement for prophecy. When a person is in pain, no matter how small, Hashem is communicating to him in some way that he needs to grow. Thus, yissurim are a tremendous gift - they provide us with an opportunity to mend our ways. The Gemara says that suffering does not merely refer to great afflictions, rather even minor difficulties. It gives the example of when a person tries to take out three coins from his pocket and he only picks up two. In this way Hashem is constantly communicating with us through yissurim. And the Gemara states further that if a person feels absolutely no suffering for forty days then he is destined for Gehinnom . This is because Hashem has given up hope for him to improve his ways, and therefore refrains from even trying to communicate with him . The obvious question that we are faced with is, ‘how can a person know what message Hashem is trying to tell him through the yissurim?' Of course it is impossible to be certain but The Toras Avraham cites a principle from Chazal that Hashem punishes a person measure for measure for his aveiros. For example, The Mishna in Sotah tells us that Shimshon sinned with his eyes, therefore he was punished that the Plishtim took out his eyes, and Avshalom was arrogant about his beautiful hair, therefore his hair was the cause of his death when it got tangled up amongst the branches of a tree . Therefore, it is recommended that a person look for a cause that is somehow connected to the form of suffering. For example, if someone experiences pain in his mouth then perhaps he should first assess whether he transgressed in an area connected with speech. There is, ironically a very good example of this idea in relation to Rav Grodszinski’s life himself. He suffered from a noticeable limp and when a shidduch was first proposed to Rav Ber Hirsch Heller’s daughter Chasya, she rejected it because of his limp. Shortly thereafter she fell down the stairs to the cellar, breaking her leg. She concluded that this was a sign not reject the match because of Rav Grodzinski’s bad leg and they did indeed marry . However, more important than whether we find the ‘correct’ aveiro or not is that we search for it at all. In the previous example, if the person’s pain in his mouth is connected to false speech but he works on lashon hara then he has achieved the main purpose of the yissurim - trying to grow. This is an extremely important point because there is a common trend that when a person experiences suffering he looks for different segulos in order to end the pain. My Rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits Shlita points out that this is somewhat missing the point. Hashem does not send us yissurim merely so that we can perform some kind of segulo (even if it is effective in ending the pain), rather he wants us to grow. This does not necessarily mean that all segulos are negative but one should not forget the purpose of the yissurim - that Hashem is telling us to grow . There is a second point with regards to how we react to yissurim. When a person is in the midst of suffering there is a tendency to ‘put his head in the sand’ until the pain goes away and then resume his life. We reconcile ourselves with the fact that we realise this is from Hashem but we still wait for it to end so that we can ‘resume’ our lives. This is understandable but, just like a father doesn’t want his son to react to punishment by moping, so too Hashem doesn’t want us to simply wait for the yissurim to end. We can continue to grow in our Avodas Hashem. Rav Pam zt”l experienced the most difficult period in his life in his early twenties when he had no source of parnasa and had no idea what the future had in store for him. Did he regress in his learning in this time? On the contrary - Rav Yisroel Reisman Shlita once asked him when he learnt Seder Kodshim. He answered that it was in this very period when his life was in such turmoil tat he undertook to learn on of the most difficult sections of the Torah. Indeed, times of yissurim are often opportunities to grow more than in more comfortable times. For example, a person’s tefillos are often far more effective when he feels in need than when everything seems fine. Moreover, history has proven that many of the greatest works of our Rabbis were written at times of great suffering. This does not seem to be a co-incidence; when a person is deprived of physical comforts his only refuge is in ruchnius, thus when our great ancestors were suffering from great poverty and oppression their learning reached new heights. Hashem loves us more than a father loves his son; When He deems it necessary to cause us suffering we often do not understand why we deserve such pain. In Olam Hazeh we may never know the answer but the one thing we can be sure of, is that Hashem is communicating with us, He wants us to hear His ‘voice’ through the yissurim and use them to grow closer to Him.

EIKEV - YIRAS HASHEM By Yehonasan Gefen

EIKEV - YIRAS HASHEM By Yehonasan Gefen “You shall fear Hashem, Your G-d. ” The mitzvo to fear G-d is one of the most fundamental mitzvos in the Torah and is one of the ‘shesh mitzvos temidius’, the six constant mitzvos that one must fulfill at any moment . This mitzvo would seem to contradict another of the ‘mitzvos temidius’, Ahavas Hashem. The mitzvo of Ahavas Hashem teaches us that G-d is all giving and loving. If that is the case then how can we be expected to fear Him; people generally fear things or beings who do not have their best interests at heart. The commentaries explain that the fear required in the mitzvo of yiras Hashem cannot be equated to fear of something that is trying to cause us harm, rather, at it’s most basic level, it consists of fear of the consequences of our actions. Yiras Hashem teaches us that Hashem is not a vatran , He has placed a system in the world whereby if a person commits a spiritually negative action then, as a consequence he will be spiritually damaged. Chazal take this point further by explaining what exactly we should and should not be afraid of: The Gemara in Brachos notes a seeming contradiction about fear between passukim in Tanach . Shlomo HaMelech writes in Mishlei; “fortunate is the man who is constantly afraid. ” In contrast, Yeshaya HaNavi says; “those from Zion who are afraid are sinners. ” The Gemara explains that the passuk in Mishlei is referring to ‘divrei Torah’. My Rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits Shlita explains that ‘divrei Torah’ can be understood to refer to spiritual matters. We only have control over our free will in spiritual pursuits - thus, The Gemara is telling us that it is correct to fear one’s own failure in the spiritual realm because we have control over it and have the ability to falter. However, in all other areas we know that Hashem is in total control and since He is all-giving and all-powerful, it is foolish and wrong to be afraid that ‘bad things’ will happen to us - when Hashem is in control nothing genuinely ‘bad’ can happen, it may seem that way at the time, but we know that ultimately there is nothing to be afraid of when Hashem is directing matters . The only thing we need to be afraid of is ourselves and the damage we can do to ourselves. Another Gemara shows further how important it is to fear the consequences of our actions: The Gemara in Gittin recounts the famous story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza and how the sinas chinam in that story caused the chain of events that ended with the tragic destruction of the Beis HaMikdash. As an introduction to this tragic episode the Gemara quotes the aforementioned passuk in Mishlei that extols the virtues of fear . How is the inyan of fear connected to the events of the Kamtza and Bar Kamtza episode? Tosefos explain that the people who sinned in the story should have been more fearful of the consequences of their actions such as allowing Bar Kamtza to be embarrassed in public without interceding. Had they been more vigilant about the results of their actions they would have realized that they should act differently. We see from here the significance of fearing ourselves - it was their lack of such fear that enabled the tragic mistakes to unfold. These Gemaras teach us that whenever we have free will in a situation we must be fearful to not stumble but when there is nothing that can be done then it is wrong to have fear, and we should place our trust in Hashem. The Brisker Rav zt”l was famous for his fear of not performing mitzvos properly but at the same time, he remained remarkably calm when there was nothing he could do. Rav Shlomo Lorincz Shlita tells over that during the siege of the Yerushalayim in Israel’s War of Independence the Brisker Rav would stay very calm even whilst the city was being bombarded with shells. Yet, when the shelling ceased, he would immediately become very agitated with concern for those far away. Asked to explain the contrast in his behavior, he responded that when the shells were falling nearby, he was in a position of an ones and thus freed from any obligation to assist others. Since he had not responsibility, he had no tension. But when his neighborhood was not being shelled, he could not stop thinking about what he might be able to do for those in danger, and the matter gave him no rest . The Brisker Rav was in tune with the appropriate times to be fearful and to be calm, when there was nothing he could do then he was very calm, but whilst a responsibility lay upon him he would not relax. This lesson is very pertinent as we approach Elul. Throughout the year a person may develop a sense of security about his spiritual standing, feeling that Hashem will ’overlook’ his transgressions and failings. However with Yom HaDin approaching, we are reminded that Hashem is not a vatran and that there are serious consequences to our actions. The Mitzvo of Yiras Hashem teaches us that we cannot sit back and have a false trust in G-d that everything will be alright. We have the great gift of free will but that is accompanied by the fact that we cannot rely on G-d to force us to make the correct decisions. Our control over our actions is cause of great fear - it means that we can ignore the opportunities that Hashem gives us, misuse our talents and generally fail to fulfill our potential in life - that is worthy of fear.

CLINGING TO THE WISE MAN - EIKEV

EIKEV – CLINGING TO THE WISE MAN By Yehonasan Gefen In Parshas Eikev, the Torah commands the people to go in the ways of HaShem, and to”cling to Him”. The Sifri , quoted by Rashi, asks how it is possible to cling to HaShem, given that He is described in another place in the Torah as an “all-consuming fire” ? The Sifri answers that the Torah is instructing us to cling to Talmidei Chachamim and their students; by doing that it is considered as if we cling to HaShem himself. The Rishonim derive from here an obligatory Mitzvo to learn from Talmidei Chachamim and try to develop a connection with them, in order to learn Torah with the correct understanding. A person might understand that it is a good hanhago (mode of behavior) to cling to Chachamim, however it is essential to recognize that it is a Torah obligation. Moreover, the Sefer HaChinuch writes very strongly about the importance of keeping this Mitzvo. He says; ”One who transgresses this and does not cling to them [Chachamim]…transgresses this positive Mitzvo, and his punishment is very great, because they are the [basis of] the existence of Torah, and a strong foundation for the salvation of souls, and anyone who is with them a great deal, will not come to sin..” The Mesillas Yesharim also discusses the importance of learning from Talmidei Chachamim, particularly with regards to personal growth. He writes that one of the main strategies of the yetser hara is to confuse people so that they do not recognize the difference between good and evil. Accordingly, they believe they are acting correctly, when in truth they are being tricked by their yetser hara. How can a person avoid this trap? He answers with an analogy. A person finds himself in a very complicated maze, and there is only one path that leads to the exit, however, most paths do not lead anywhere, and in fact take him away from his destination. The person has no way himself of finding the correct path because the possible paths look identical to each other. The only way to escape such a maze is to take advice from someone who has already been through the maze and arrived safely at the other side. He can advise the person stuck inside which is the correct path to take. So too, a person who has not yet mastered his yetser hara will find it impossible to overcome it without the guidance of Talmidei Chachamim who have spent many years refining their characters. We have seen how essential it is for one’s spiritual well-being to learn from Chachamim. However, a person may argue that this is an overly difficult Mitzvo because a significant amount of effort and persistence is required to attach oneself to Chachamim due to their busy schedules and the fact that already many people flock to them. The answer to this point is found in the words of the greatest Chacham, Moshe Rabbeinu. In Parshas Devarim, he recounts the episode when Yisro suggested that Moshe refrain from ruling on every matter of law, rather, other wise men should be appointed to guide the people in certain questions. The practical reason for this was in order to lessen the burden for Moshe and for the people who had to wait a long time for Moshe to be available. Moshe agreed to the suggestion and instructed the people to appoint Chachamim. The people gladly agreed to this request. Rashi points out that in his recollection of this incident, Moshe rebuked the people for their enthusiasm for Yisro’s idea. Moshe was telling them, “you should have answered, Rabbeinu Moshe, from who is it better to learn, from you or from your students, is it not [better to learn] from you, who suffered over it [the Torah]?!” Moshe rebuked them for not wanting to learn from the greatest Chacham, despite the fact that they would have to endure significant hardships in order to do so. We see from here how important it is to be willing to be moser nefesh to learn from Chachamim. This lesson is borne out by a teaching of Chazal, that a person who learns a great deal of Torah but does not cling to Talmidei Chachamim is considered an am ha’aretz (ignorant person). Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l explains that one who learns alone only relies on his own understanding and does not turn to wise people for guidance. Because he does not verifiy his understanding with Chachamim, it is inevitable that he will come to make serious mistakes in his learning. In contrast, one who clings to Chachamim can achieve great levels in his wisdom. The Alter of Novardok zt”l expressed this point when extolling the greatness of Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzensky zt”l. “His wisdom and genius is so great and of so much depth and breadth, because when he was young he was always to be found in the presence of the Gedolei Hador (greatest Rabbis). He never said to them, ‘accept my opinion’, rather he made himself into a ‘vessel’ who would listen and absorb all the opinions and explanations of all the Gedolim there. He absorbed into his very being all the wisdom that he heard and his wisdom became purified and elevated by the greatness of many generations that became embedded in his mind. ” When we discuss the greatness of Rav Chaim Ozer we generally focus on his incredible natural genius and ability to think of many things at the same time. We see from the words of the Alter that the key to his greatness was his willingness to learn from Talmidei Chachamim. We have seen how essential it is for one to learn from Chachamim. The Sefer HaChinuch points out that this Mitzvo is also incumbent upon women. He writes, “This Mitzvo is in place in every place, at all times, for men, and it is also a Mitzvo for women to hear the words of Chachamim so that they will learn how to know HaShem.” It is interesting to note that the Sefer HaChinuch also writes that women are not obligated in the Mitzvo of Talmud Torah (learning Torah) Nevertheless, they are obligated to seek out Chachamim to guide them in their Avodas HaShem. It is clear from the sources discussing this Mitzvo that both men and women must strive to learn from Chachamim. This is a particularly relevant lesson to people who grew up in more secular environments. In the secular world, the concept of ‘asking the wise man’ for guidance in life issues is almost unheard of. This is partly because intelligence and life wisdom have no necessary correlation. As a result of this, a baal teshuva may find it unnatural to ask life questions to Rabbis. Rav Noach Weinberg zt”l addressed this issue – he pointed out that in the secular world, people spend many years on studying in order to attain a certain qualification. However, with regard to basic life issues, such as marriage, child rearing, and life satisfaction, people spend almost no time studying how to succeed. The results of this failing are clear to see, with the divorce rate skyrocketing, family relationships consistently failing, and general life dissatisfaction commonplace. The Torah teaches that in all such issues it is essential that we learn from Chachamim, people who understand the Torah approach to life challenges. May we merit to keep the Mitzvo of ‘clinging to the