THE TWO TABLETS - VA’ESCHANAN

Parshas Va’eschanan contains a repetition of the Ten Commandments, with a few minor changes. The Mabit makes a remarkable observation about the two luchos on which the Commandments were inscribed. Chazal explain that the two luchos were focusing on different areas of the Mitzvos: The first luach consisted of Mitzvos that relate to the realm of bein adam leMakom (between man and G-d), such as belief in G-d, and observing Shabbos. The second luach consisted of Mitvos that relate to bein adam lechaveiro (between man and his fellow), such as the prohibitions not to kill, and loh sachmod (not to covet).

The Mabit points out that there were far more words on the first luach than on the second. Accordingly, there was much less space to fit all the words on the first luach than on the second. Therefore, it must be that the words in the first luach were written far smaller than those in the second. This, the Mabit argues, was done deliberately by HaShem so that the side that discussed the bein adam lechaveiro Mitzvos would be more noticeable than the side that focused on bein adam leMakom. The Mabit continues that this is because the yetser hara is strongest in the area of bein adam lechaveiro. HaShem wanted people to focus more on the Mitzvos that relate to bein adam lechaveiro, because extra effort is required to overcome the yetser hara in this area.

It would seem that a Gemara in Bava Basra provides evidence supporting the Mabit’s argument. The Gemara discusses various sins in which people stumble. It tells us that a minority of people stumble in arayos (forbidden relationships), a majority stumble in gezel , and everyone stumbles in avak lashon hara. Forbidden relationships generally fall in the area of bein adam leMakom , whereas stealing and lashon hara both clearly fall within the realm of bein adam lechaveiro. Thus, the Gemara is telling us that people are more prone to sin in certain Mitzvos that pertain to bein adam lechaveiro.

The question remains, what is the reason (or reasons) as to why people are more prone to stumbling in bein adam lechaveiro. It is possible to suggest the following: The Vilna Gaon zt”l writes that every Mitzvo stems from a particular good character trait (midda), and every aveiro stems from a bad trait. Nonetheless, it seems that it is possible for a person to have certain bad middos and yet observe many Mitzvos. For example, a person who has a tendency to lose his temper, will not necessarily be hindered by this bad trait, in his observance of Shabbos, kashrus, and many other Mitzvos in the realm of bein adam LeMakom. However, he will be tremendously hindered in the area of bein adam lechaveiro. Every time he raises his voice in an inappropriate fashion, he will very likely transgress the prohibition of onaas devarim (hurtful words) and if he shouts at someone in front of others, he will transgress the extremely serious sin of embarrassing someone in public. Similarly, a person who has an ayin ra (ie. He looks at the bad in people), will still be able to pray three times a day, and learn Torah, however he will very likely stumble in lashon hara and judging others favorably.

There are obviously certain middos, which also make it very difficult to observe Mitzvos in bein adam Makom, such as laziness. However, it is important to note, that such traits will also greatly harm one’s observance of bein adam lechaveiro related Mitzvos. For example, a lazy person will not be willing to help his/her spouse in the work that needs to be done around the home, causing problems in the relationship. Even the trait of taiva (lust) can be the cause of great failings in bein adam lechaveiro. For example, a person who is overly attached to his/her food, will very likely react in an inappropriate fashion to his/her spouse if they serve food that he does not appreciate, again resulting in a transgression of onaas devarim.
We have seen how the Mabit pointed out that the Ten Commandments were laid out in such a way as to teach that there is more of a yester hara in bein adam lechaveiro than bein adam LeMakom. The following story illustrates this point: Rav Chaim Soloveitchik zt”l was asked to rule on the kashrus of an animal to ascertain whether it was treif. He ruled that it was indeed treif, causing the butcher involved a significant loss. The butcher accepted the ruling with equanimity. A few months later, the same butcher was involved in a monetary dispute with someone else, over a far smaller amount of money. Rav Chaim ruled against him. On this occasion, however, the butcher was furious, and insulted Rav Chaim for his ruling. Rav Simcha Zelig Reeger, zt”l asked Rav Chaim why the butcher was calm when he lost a far larger amount of money and so angry about the smaller sum. Rav Chaim explained that on this occasion, he ‘lost’ to someone else – it was the fact that another person ‘beat’ him that angered him so much.
The obvious lesson to derive from the Mabit is that extra effort is required in bein adam lechaveiro. Moreover based on the explanation that the root cause of the failing in this area is bad middos, it is essential to work on the traits such as anger, jealousy, and ayin ra. Indeed, the Maharsha points out that when the Gemara said that everyone stumbles in avak lashon hara, it was only referring to people who do not make an effort to improve in this area. However, one who makes an effort to improve his speech by learning the laws relating to it and improving his traits, is not destined to speak avak lashon hara. This surely applies to all the Mitzvos bein adam lechaveiro; if one makes a strong and consistent effort to improve then he will overcome the yester hara’s attempts to make his stumble.

STRIPPING AWAY THE ILLUSION - TISHA B'AV

Chazal say that since the destruction of the second Beis HaMikdash, we should really be in a constant state of mourning. But we cannot live that way, so for most of the year we conduct our lives as if everything were normal and as it should be. For three weeks of the year, however, culminating in Tishah b’Av, we face the reality of our situation and adopt the customs of mourners. We recognize that things are not as they should be: There is no Beis HaMikdash, we are in galus, and we live in a time of hester Panim, when Hashem’s involvement in our lives is concealed. On Tishah b’Av in particular, we focus on the events in Jewish history that reflect this hester Panim, so we can internalize the terrible state of affairs.

It seems that in different eras the hester Panim manifests itself in different ways. For generations, its main expression was anti-Semitism. Jews steadfastly preserved the traditions of their ancestors and often gave their lives for them. More recently, with the Holocaust, Jews were murdered merely for being Jews. The untold suffering we have endured is something on which people rightfully focus a great deal on Tishah b’Av. By reading about such events, we feel more aware of the terrible consequences of hester Panim. While this practice is certainly commendable, it seems that the principal manifestation of hester Panim nowadays is not anti-Semitism. Take five seconds, and think what it is…

Most of you probably answered that the main manifestation of hester Panim today is the desperate state of Torah observance. We all have a vague, intellectual awareness that things are not as they should be, but how bad are they?

In 1950, the intermarriage rate in the U.S. was 6%; by 1990, it was 52% and rising. Two million Jews do not identify themselves as such. Two million self-identified Jews have no Jewish connection whatsoever. For every wedding between two Jews, two intermarriages take place. Some 625,000 American Jews practice other religions. Only 11% of Jews in the U.S. go to shul. Every day dozens of intermarriages take place, which means that in the time it took you to read this, some Jews were lost forever. These statistics make the situation a little more real to us, but it is still far from our hearts.

A couple of years ago, my son got a bad cut on his mouth on Tishah b’Av, so I had to take him to a plastic surgeon in the Jerusalem suburb of Mevasseret. The surgeon’s office was in a mall, and there I saw what secular Jews do on Tishah b’Av: They go about their lives. I saw Jews eating in a McDonald’s, as if everything were normal. What’s more, the same scene would have greeted me on Shabbos. We all know some Jews don’t keep Shabbos, but to actually experience it! Baruch Hashem, we have no idea what it means to have no Torah, no Shabbos, no relationship with Hashem, no direction in life… but this is the lot of our brothers and sisters. And what’s the difference between us and them? Simply that we were born into Torah-observant families, and they weren’t.

So this is the time of year in which we strip away the illusion that everything is okay. Everything is not okay. We have to face the truth. What’s more, we have to take responsibility for the way things are. On Tishah B’Av in particular, we must feel the pain, not hide from it. Shabbos desecration is everywhere; intermarriage is everywhere. And the most important thing to remember is how Hashem “feels” about it. Just to make that idea more real: Imagine you had ten children, and you brought them all up to be fully Torah-observant Jews. Nine of them follow the path that you hoped they would, but one is slightly lax in his observance. How would you feel? Ask any person who has experienced such a thing, and he will tell you that it caused him considerable distress. What if that one child were not just slightly lax but abandoned Torah completely? Of course, that would cause the parents untold grief. Imagine if not one but two children went astray; how much additional pain would that cause? And if over half the children abandoned Judaism, and only one was fully observant, you would feel unbearable anguish.

All Jews are children of Hashem, and this is the state of His “family”!

Let us take this one day and face reality: This is what the galus is about today; and to end the galus, this is what must be dealt with. Hashem is hidden; His children don’t see Him, and they barely even know He exists. There is certainly plenty to mourn.

May this be the last Tishah b’Av of sadness, and may it be transformed into a day of rejoicing, when all Jews know what it means to be Hashem’s children.
 

REDEFINING SINAS CHINAM - TISHA B'AV

As we approach Tishah b’Av, we strive to find ways of improving ourselves, so we can ensure that this will be the last year without the Beis HaMikdash. The famous gemara in Gittin about Kamtza and Bar Kamtza teaches us a great deal about the cause of the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash and what we need to rectify in order to bring about its rebuilding.

The gemara tells us that Yerushalayim was destroyed as a result of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza. An unnamed man was a sworn enemy of Bar Kamtza but friendly with Kamtza. He sent his servant to invite Kamtza to a banquet, but the servant mistakenly invited Bar Kamtza. When Bar Kamtza came to the affair, the furious host demanded that he leave. Embarrassed, he offered to pay for his own meal in order to be allowed to stay. After that offer was refused, he volunteered to pay half the cost of the whole banquet, but instead he was thrown out. There were a number of rabbis in attendance, who remained silent throughout this unpleasant incident. Indignant at their passivity, Kamtza proceeded to slander the Jewish people to the Roman authorities, which began the course of events that ended with the destruction.

The Iyun Yaakov, ztz”l, asks why Kamtza is apportioned some of the blame for these events, since he did nothing throughout the whole story. The Ben Ish Chai, ztz”l, answers by suggesting that Kamtza was actually present at the banquet and witnessed how Bar Kamtza was treated. He could have prevented what happened by explaining the misunderstanding with the invitations. There is a principle that if someone can protest a wrongdoing but does not, it is considered as if he himself committed it. The Ben Ish Chai continues that this answer is even more compelling according to the Maharsha, who writes that Bar Kamtza was the son of Kamtza. Accordingly, Kamtza was surely aware of the feud between his son and friend, yet he did nothing to make peace between them. Because of his passivity, Kamtza is held partly responsible for the destruction.

Furthermore, the rabbis also seem to be held partially responsible for the course of events, because they did nothing to prevent Bar Kamtza’s humiliation. Thus, there seems to be a common theme running through this story: Inaction and apathy allowed such terrible consequences to take place. Had any of the people involved strived to prevent the injustices that took place, the Beis HaMikdash may not have been destroyed. Their indifference to the surrounding tragedies resulted in their passivity.

This lesson, that apathy destroyed the second Beis HaMikdash, seems somewhat contradictory to the Gemara in Yoma, which states that sinas chinam (baseless hatred) was the ultimate cause of the destruction. However, on deeper analysis it seems that sinas chinam is not limited to active hatred; it can also include apathy. We see this from the first time the root of the word sinah (hatred) appears in the Torah: In parashas Vayetzei, after Yaakov Avinu marries Rachel and Leah, the Torah tells us, “Hashem saw that Leah was senuah (literally, “hated”).” The commentaries have great difficulty in understanding that Yaakov really hated Leah. Accordingly, the Ramban explains that when one has two wives, the one he loves less is called senuah—he does not hate her, but he loves her less than his favorite. Therefore, says the Ramban, Yaakov did not hate Leah; rather, his love for her was lacking. And therefore we can understand that the word sinah does not necessarily imply an active hatred; rather, it can indicate a lack of sufficient care and love. Thus, the sinas chinam described in Yoma need not have been a virulent hatred; it could also have included apathy and lack of concern for one’s fellow.

In a similar vein, Rav Yehonasan Eibschutz, ztz”l, writes that the sinas chinam described in the Gemara refers not to active hatred, but to disinterest in preventing others from slipping into heretical views. He notes that many heretical sects had grown in that period, because people were not willing to rebuke them. He exclaims, “Do you have a greater hater than this: one who sees his friend drowning in a river [of sin] and does not protest?!” Based on this redefinition of sinah, it is clear that there is no contradiction between the story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza and the gemara in Yoma. The sinas chinam referred to in Yoma involves not only active hatred; it also includes apathy toward the pain of one’s fellow, and a refusal to help him grow spiritually.

The fact that the Beis HaMikdash has not been rebuilt means that these flaws are still very prevalent today, and they apply to many areas of our lives, whether it be in the realm of sharing another’s pain, trying to help those less fortunate than ourselves, or reaching out to the many people who are distant from Torah. This is a time of serious soul searching to assess our performance in these areas and strive to improve in some way.

May this be the last Tishah b’Av or mourning that we endure.
 

HONESTY WITH MONEY - DEVARIM

“Do not be afraid of any man because the judgement is to Hashem. ” The Torah instructs judges that they should not be intimidated by powerful people when they are deciding a Din Torah, the reason being that ‘the judgement is to Hashem’ - what does this mean? Rashi explains that when a person unjustly takes money from his fellow there is an injustice that needs to be fixed. Therefore Hashem must direct the hashgacha in such a way that the money will be returned to its true owner. In this way the judgement has been ‘placed’ in Hashem’s hands, forcing Him to correct the injustice done. Why is this so serious? Hashem deliberately limits Himself from too much obvious intervention in our lives so as not to interfere with our free will. If His presence was so obvious it would be much more difficult to sin and the balance of bechira would be effected. By causing Hashem to intervene to reimburse the victim of an injustice a person is indeed effecting this delicate balance.

There is another interesting point that we can learn out from this Rashi: When a person commits an aveira in diney mamonos he is not only transgressing in the realm of Bein Adam LeChaveiro but also in that of Bein Adam LeMakom. This point is of significance because there seems to be a tendency to approach Bein Adam LeMakom mitzvos with a different attitude from Bein Adam Lechaveiro mitzvos: When an observant Jew is offered a plate of food he would normally inquire as to the hechsher of the food before he eats it. If he is unclear as to the standards of the hechsher he will ask a shilo. In contrast, it is quite common that when a person is faced with a question as to paying taxes, for example, he is more likely to proceed without looking into the halachic validity of his actions. Perhaps the realisation that mamonos issues also involve Bein Adam LeMakom can motivate us to be more careful in them.

The Gemara supports the idea that mamonos is an area of natural human weakness; “Rav Yehuda in the name of Rav says, most people sin in the area of gezel.. ” This Gemara seems hard to understand - do most Jews go around stealing from others?! The Rashbam explains that the Gemara is not referring to outright stealing such as pick-pocketing or shoplifting. Rather it is referring to much more subtle and insidious forms of stealing in which people justify that what they are doing is mutar. The Gemara may also include forms of ‘gezel’ that come as a result of sheer carelessness. For the remainder of this article we will discuss some of those areas of halacha in monetary matters that are often neglected and observe how our Gedolim conducted themselves in these areas.

A classic example of carelessness is not returning borrowed items. It seems to be an all-too-common occurrence that people lend sefarim out and never see them again! Unless the lender intends to forgive failure to return the sefer, this constitutes a form of gezel. Of course people do not purposely intend to steal, but such negligence surely stems from a lack of respect for other people’s property. Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky zt”l was a living example of how to act in this area. On one occasion he was filling in a kesubah and used the chassan’s pen and forgot to return it to him amidst the hectic nature of the wedding. TWO YEARS later he met again with the pen owner and handed him the pen .

Another area in which there is a great yetser hara to be moreh heter is using other people’s items without express permission. There are many instances in which it is forbidden to assume that the owner will be mochel for someone to use his item without asking first. The ease at which one can be nichshal in this area is demonstrated in the following story. Rav Leib Chassid was the famous tzaddik of Kelm. In his later years he went out for a walk on the road between Kelm and Tavrig. One day a teenage boy driving a wagon passed by and offered him a ride. Reb Leib asked him if the wagon was his, and the by replied that it belonged to his father. “Did he give you permission to take passengers?” Reb Leib asked. The boy admitted that he had never discussed it with his father, adding, “Do I really need his permission for that?” “Yes”, said Reb Leib, “since you have not asked permission you would be a thief if you took any passengers into the wagon. ” It is such sensitivity that is required in order to avoid erring in these halachos.

Avoiding paying taxes to non-Jewish governments is something which one can easily find justification for, however, this is often a violation of Dina d’Malchusa dina . A woman once asked Rav Kamenetsky why her family should not lie about their income in order to obtain food stamps when there was widespread cheating among other ethnic and racial groups to establish eligibility. “Simple” said Reb Yaakov, “they did not stand at Har Sinai, you did.” This answer is the first and most important step in beginning to be more zahir in areas of mamonos. A person can find numerous reasons to justify various hanhagos in monetary areas but he must remember that ultimately everything a Jew does should be based on what Hashem taught us on Har Sinai. Rav Yisroel Reisman Shlita devotes an entire shiur to conveying the message that whenever one is faced with an opportunity to make or save money he must first and foremost look to the words of Shulchan Aruch to determine whether or not this form of behaviour is allowed . This often means asking a shilo and not presuming that it is okay to cheat the taxes or go back on a monetery agreement. And even if it is common practise among ‘observant’ Jews to act in a certain questionable manner this is not an iron-clad proof that it is mutar to act in such a way.

A second step to avoid aveiros in mamonos is to be aware of the tremendous yetser hara of chemdas hamamon. The Gemara in Chagiga states that gezel is something that people have great taiva for . Because of this great yetser we must be extra careful and place fences that protect us from faltering. We learn just how far one must go to do this from Rav Yisroel Salanter zt”l. He once visited a wealthy man and was alone with him in a room. The man was called out for a few minutes but when he returned he was shocked to see that Rav Yisroel was not in the room. He looked everywhere for him and, to his great surprise was Rav Yisroel standing outside the house. Rav Yisroel explained that Chazal teach us that a minority of people sin in arayos whilst a majority sin in gezel : We know that it is forbidden to be alone in a room with an erva lest our yester hara overcome us. If the yester hara for gezel is stronger than that for arayos then we must learn out a kal v’chomer that it is assur to be alone with someone elses’ uncounted money ! Rav Yisroel was of course the last person that one would expect would be nichshal in gezel, yet he made fences to protect him from its snares, surely we should emulate him.

We currently find ourselves in the nine days - a time of intense mourning for the Churban and the hester panim that accompanies it. Rav Mattisyahu Salomon Shlita suggests that carelessness in mamonos is a direct cause of hester panim: The Torah commands us to use accurate and honest weights and measures . Directly following this parsha comes the parsha of Amalek ? What is the connection between these seemingly disparate inyanim?
The Netsiv explains that cheating in business undermines the basic tenets of Emuna and Bitachon. One who trusts that Hashem will provide for his parnosa will have no desire to break the Torah laws in order to acquire money. However, a person who is willing to cheat and be moreh heter in order to support himself demonstrates that he is not living with a belief that G-d is looking over him. Mida ceneged mida, Hashem says, ‘if you are acting as if I am not around then I will no longer be in your midst and protect you.’ Without heavenly protection we are open prey to our enemies.

Thus we have seen how negligence in diney mamonos is not just a transgression of our relationships with others, but also shows a severe lacking in one’s relationship with Hashem - one who feels the need to ‘bend the rules’ in order to gain or save money is ignoring the basic tenets of bitachon in Hashem. Let us learn from our Gedolim and try to be more zahir in at least one of the areas discussed here - whether it be, being more careful in returning borrowed items or not using other people’s items without permission, or being honest in business. But the most important aitsa is that which Rav Reisman stressed so much - every area of our lives is decided by Shulchan Aruch and we must always verify that our actions accord with its instructions.

What is the reward for zehirus in mamonos? The Yerushalmi in Makkos states that since the yetser hara to steal is so great, the reward to overcome this desire is proportionally great. “One who separates from [stealing] he and his descendants will benefit for every generation till the end of days. ” May we all be zocheh to end the hester panim and bring Hashem back into our lives.

DEVARIM - GIVING REBUKE

Parshas Devarim consists largely of Moshe Rabbeinu’s tochacha to the Jewish people. The Parsha begins with Moshe mentioning a number of place names that do not appear anywhere else in the Torah . Chazal tell us that these names were in fact allusions to places where the Jews had sinned; Moshe did not explicitly state that the Jews had sinned here, rather he chose to hint to their transgressions. Rashi explains that he did so “because of the honor of Israel ” - even though the Jewish people needed to be rebuked, to explicitly mention their sins would have been too much of a pgam on their kavod. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l derives a vital lesson about tochacha from Rashi’s explanation he writes, “we learn from here how incumbent it is upon the rebuker to worry about and be fearful for, the honor of the person being rebuked. ”

This teaches us that the key factor that determines whether a rebuke will have a positive or negative effect is one’s motivation for rebuking. Moshe maintained his love and concern for the Jewish people in the midst of speaking to them very harshly. Indeed, it seems clear that this love was the very reason that he was rebuking them - it was purely an act of kindness. In doing so he was able to maintain a sensitivity to their honor whilst simultaneously criticizing them. The Gemara tells us that it is exceedingly difficult to rebuke someone in an effective way . Nonetheless, this does not mean that we are exempt from the mitzvo, and there are times when one can do a great kindness by clarifying the correct hanhago to someone who is likely to listen. We learn from Moshe that the rebuker must care about the other person, and empathize with him, trying to understand where he is coming from and how is the best way to influence him for the good. Conversely, rebuke can be extremely damaging when it emanates from anger and a lack of concern for the spiritual well being of the other person. In such instances the rebuker will make no effort to try to understand why the other person is acting in such a way and may therefore have unreasonable expectations of him.

The following story, told over by Rav Dovid Kaplan Shlita, demonstrates this point: “Raised modern Orthodox, Devoras’s parents instilled in her a respect for rabbis but a critical eye toward chareidim. When she got older, she decided to check it out for herself and davened at the Ponevezh Yeshiva during the Yamim Nora’im. She went back for Simchas Torah. Everything was fine until one of the girls present said to her in a loud voice in front of a crowd of girls, “you don’t come to daven here without wearing stockings!” Devora stormed out. If this was how chareidim behaved she was not interested. However, due to her respect for rabbis, she decided to go speak to Rav Shach zt“l. When she arrived at his door, there was a long line of men waiting to go in. When the door opened and the person inside left, they called here in, explaining that women had higher priority. Pleasantly surprised, she related the shocking story to the gadol hador. “They did a big aveirah.” Rav Shach told her. “Maybe it was unintentional, but they are still obligated to ask your forgiveness.” He spoke to her for a long time about how careful we must be to be sensitive to others. She decided during this talk to become more religious. Today she is married to a Rosh Yeshiva and her sons and son-in-laws are talmidei chachamim. ” This story teaches us how much damage one wrong statement can do and how much good can be achieved with caring words. How did the girl who spoke harshly to Devora come to commit such a serious sin when she surely meant to defend shemiras hamitzvos? The answer is that she made no effort to understand Devora’s background and level. Consequently, her rebuke did not only fail to change Devora for the good but it very nearly alienated this girl from chareidi Jewry and prevented her from becoming more observant.

In contrast, tochacha that is motivated out of concern for one’s fellow will lead us to measure our words carefully before correcting someone else’s behavior. Rav Yehonasan Eibeschitz zt”l says that the greatest way of fulfilling the mitzvo of ‘love thy neighbor’ is by caring about the spiritual well being of one‘s fellow Jew - this attitude manifests itself in the right form of tochacha . This lesson is very pertinent to Tisha B’Av; Chazal tell us that the Second Temple was destroyed because of sinas chinam (baseless hatred). Rav Eibetschitz continues that the sinas chinam was the fact that the people refrained from rebuking each other. As a consequence, the numerous groups of apikorsim were allowed to grow and adversely influence the Jewish people. According to this explanation, hatred is not limited to active adversity, it also includes apathy . Such apathy indicated a severe lacking in the bein adam lechaveiro of the people at the time of the Second Beis HaMedrash.

Chazal tell us that any generation in which the Beis HaMikdash is not rebuilt, is considered as if they destroyed it. This means that the present generation is still effected by sinas chinam, defined by Rav Eibetschitz as not caring enough about one’s fellow to want to help him improve his Avodas Hashem. Whilst we have seen that rebuke can be very damaging when done in the wrong way, nonetheless, if it emanates from a true feeling of ahava then it can surely be used to greatly help our fellow Jew.

ACCEPTING REBUKE - MATTOS

When the Sfas Emes was a boy, he was looked after by his grandfather, the great Chiddushei Harim. On one occasion, the Sfas Emes stayed awake for most of the night learning Torah until he fell asleep in the early morning. He awoke after a short time to find himself a few minutes late for the shiur that the Chiddushei Harim taught. When the Chiddushei Harim saw that he arrived late he was unaware that his grandson had been awake for most of the night, and strongly rebuked him, presuming that his tardiness was the result of an element of laziness. Instead of defending himself, the Sfas Emes listened quietly to the scolding he received. His friend later asked him why he did not respond to the Chiddushei Harim’s criticism, and thereby spare himself of the rebuke . The Sfas Emes replied, saying, “would I waste the opportunity of being rebuked by my grandfather!” He based this line of thinking on an incident in Parshas Mattos .

The B’nei Gad and Reuven approached Moshe Rabbeinu, asking that he allow them to remain on Eiver HaYarden where there was sufficient land for them to farm their animals. Moshe replied with a strong rebuke - his main point of criticism was that by not entering Eretz Yisrael they would be abandoning their brethren in the upcoming conquest. In a lengthy passage, Moshe ominously reminds them of the incident of the spies and its terrible consequences. In reply to Moshe’s criticisms, the B’nei Gad and Reuven said that they would join the rest of the nation in conquering the land. The Sfas Emes pointed out that in truth, they had intended to join the conquest right from the beginning but Moshe Rabbeinu did not understand this from their request and consequently rebuked them for being unwilling to join their brethren in conquering the land. If so, why did they not interrupt him right at the beginning of his condemnation instead of having to endure such a strong rebuke? The Sfas Emes explained that they wanted to hear the word of rebuke from a great man, and were therefore happy to listen to his criticisms even though they could easily refute them early on. So too, although he could have stemmed the rebuke of his grandfather by justifying his tardiness, he preferred to hear the rebuke of a tzaddik .

What was the great quality of being rebuked by a great man that caused the B’nei Gad and Reuven to bear such stinging rebuke? The Gemara in Taanis tells us that the curses with which the Prophet, Achiya HaShiloni cursed the Jewish people are greater than the blessings with which Bilaam blessed them . The Gemara bases this idea on a passuk in Mishlei: “The blows of a beloved one are trustworthy, and the kisses of an enemy are damaging. ” The commentaries explain that the ‘blows’ delivered by one’s beloved here refer to words of rebuke. The rebuke of someone who genuinely cares about his friend is of great benefit because it is aimed at helping him improve himself. This is a great kindness because it helps one improve his spiritual standing. When the B’nei Gad and Reuven heard Moshe Rabbeinu rebuke them, they knew that he was doing so from the purest of motives and only had their best interests in mind. Thus, even though they could defend themselves, it was more worthwhile to listen to his words and try to somehow grow from them.

Thus far, we have seen how the rebuke of a tzaddik is of great value, however it seems that even the tochacha of a less righteous person can be of considerable benefit. Moreover, even rebuke that is given in the wrong way, can still nonetheless help someone tremendously. The Sefer HaChinuch writes that the prohibition to take revenge is based on the concept that whatever happens to a person is directed by Hashem. Even if someone acted towards a person in a negative fashion, it is nevertheless fruitless to bear a grudge or take revenge because the pain caused would not have occurred had Hashem so desired . Thus, when a person is rebuked in what he perceives to be a hurtful way, it is highly commendable that he ignore the failings of the rebuker and focus on what he actually said and accept the rebuke. There is often an element of truth in the rebuke proving that this rebuke was sent from Hashem as a means of communicating that he should strive to change his ways.

Shlomo HaMelech makes a similar point in Mishlei: “Hear advice and accept rebuke so that you will become wise in your latter days .” It is interesting to note that with regard to advice, we are told to ’hear’, whereas in relation to rebuke we should ’accept it’. Hearing implies an element of contemplation and thought - when a person is given advice he should think about it before he acts upon it. In contrast when one is rebuked he should accept it without analyzing the validity of the rebuke - rather he should view it as a message from Hashem to improve himself and act accordingly. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l excelled in his reaction towards incorrect rebuke. On one occasion, he answered the phone only to be met with a barrage of criticism from someone who was incensed at one of his halachic rulings. He patiently listened to the tirade until it ended and did not even try to defend himself. A shocked student asked him why he did not respond to such an inappropriate rebuke. He answered that he so rarely receives any rebuke that he was grateful for the opportunity to hear such strong words - and even though in this specific area the rebuke was unfounded, there must be some other area where he could improve himself and he should use the rebuke to improve in that area !

On another occasion Rav Moshe was rebuked for a perceived transgression. He answered the rebuke in a teshuva that is found in Igros Moshe . He begins the teshuva saying: I was very happy that maalas kevodo was so zealous in fulfilling the mitzvo of rebuke according to his understanding, and chas v’shalom that I should be upset at this… bli neder I will no longer travel in a car during the time of candlelighting even though there is absolutely no prohibition in it, and there is not even maaris ayiin .” After completely refuting the arguments of the rebuker he ends, saying, “from his beloved who blesses him with the merit of the mitzvo of rebuke that he did for the honor of HashemYisbarach and for the honor of Shabbos Kodesh..”

It is understandable that most people are not on the level of Rav Feinstein and do not enjoy being rebuked - it is unpleasant be told that one has a character flaw or acted in an improper fashion. However, if a person can move past the feelings of pain he experiences and tries to learn from the rebuke then he can transform it into a tremendous tool for growth and can use it to be a better Eved Hashem.

THE VALUE OF LIFE - MATOS-MASSEI

MATOS-MASSEI - THE VALUE OF LIFE

“And Bilaam the son of Beor they killed with the sword. ” It would seem that the death of Bilaam Harasha was a punishment for his efforts to harm Klal Yisroel in the desert. The Gemara, however, cites a far earlier crime that he committed as the reason for his untimely death. “Three were in that aitsa [of how Pharaoh should treat the Jewish people], Bilaam, Iyov and Yisro: Bilaam advised [to harm them] and was killed; Iyov was silent and was judged with yissurim; Yisro escaped and was zocheh that his descendants should sit in the lishkas hagazis. ” Bilaam was punished with death at the hands of Klal Yisroel because of his evil advice to Pharaoh many years earlier. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l points out that this Gemara poses a great difficulty: It is clear that Bilaam deserved a far greater punishment than Iyov, because Iyov didn’t commit an active crime, rather he remained silent. Yet, it would seem that Iyov’s onesh was far greater than that of Bilaam. Whilst Bilaam suffered a quick death, Iyov had to endure suffering that no other man has ever experienced. How can this be understood?

Rav Shmuelevitz answers that life itself is the greatest gift possible and that any pain, no matter how bad, is infinitely greater than death. Consequently, Bilaam’s onesh was far more severe than Iyov’s - Iyov still had the gift of life, Bilaam lost it forever. Rav Leib Chasman zt”l gives an excellent mashal to help understand this concept; imagine a man wins a huge prize on the lottery, and at that every moment, one of his jugs breaks. Would this minor inconvenience bother him at all at this time of great joy?! The happiness that he experiences due to the lottery prize nullifies any feelings of pain that come in everyday life. So too, a person should have the same attitude in life - his joy at the mere fact of his existence should be so great that it should render any difficulties as meaningless, even sufferings as great as those that Iyov endured. For they are nothing in comparison with the wonderful gift of life .

Why is the gift of life so precious? The Mishna in Pirkei Avos can help answer this question: “One moment of repentance and good deeds in Olam Hazeh is greater than all of Chayei Olam Haba, and one moment of peripheral pleasure in Olam Habah is greater than all of Chayei Olam Hazeh. ” This Mishna seems to contradict itself - it begins by stating that Olam Hazeh is incomparably greater than Olam Haba and ends by saying the opposite! The commentaries explain that the two parts of the Mishna are focussing on different aspects. The second part of the Mishna is comparing the pleasure that one can attain in the two ‘worlds‘. In that sense, Olam Haba is infinitely greater than Olam Hazeh - there is no earthly pleasure that can begin to compare with one moment of pleasure in Olam Haba. The pleasure there is that of connecting to Hashem, the Source of all creation - all other pleasures are meaningless and transitory in comparison. However, the first part of the Mishna is focussing on the ability to create more of a connection to Hashem. In that aspect Olam Hazeh is infinitely greater because it is the place of free will in which we have the ability to choose to become closer to Hashem by performing mitzvos. In Olam Haba there is no more opportunity to increase the connection to Him. We can now understand why life is so precious - each moment is a priceless opportunity to attain more closeness to Hashem, the ultimate pleasure that will accompany us for eternity in Olam Haba. The Gra expressed the value of Olam Hazeh on his deathbed. He held his Tsitsit and cried, saying, “how precious is Olam Hazeh that for a few prutot it is possible to gain merit for the mitzvo of Tsitsit and to see the ‘pney hashechina’, whereas in Olam Haba it is impossible to gain anything.”

This idea is also demonstrated by the Gemara in Avoda Zara . The Gemara tells of Elazar Ben Durdaya, an inveterate sinner. On one occasion, when he was about to commit a terrible sin, he was told that even if he repented his teshuva will never be accepted. This ‘sentence’ effected him so deeply that he did repent and he died in a state of perfect teshuva. As his soul left him, a Bas Kol came out and said that Rabbi Elazar Ben Durdaya is ready to go into Olam Haba. The Gemara then says that when Rebbi Yehuda HaNasi heard this maaseh he cried out, “there are those that earn Olam Haba in many years and there are those that earn it in one moment.” The commentaries wonder why Rebbi was so upset by this maaseh - he, a person who had struggled for many years in Avodas Hashem, was surely destined for a far greater portion in Olam Haba than someone who earned Olam Haba for one moment of inspired teshuva!? Rav Noach Weinberg Shlita answers in the name of his father, that Rebbi was crying because he saw the power of one moment in Olam Hazeh; in one moment a person can earn infinite bliss, therefore he was crying at any failure to utilise each moment in the best possible way. Each moment is an incredible opportunity at creating more Olam Haba.

The Chofetz Chaim applies this concept to halacha . He brings the Sefer Hachinuch who writes that there are six mitzvos that are constantly incumbent upon man and that every second throughout a person’s life a person can fulfil them by merely thinking about them, and consequently there is no limit to the reward for performing these mitvzos. This can also help explain why Jewish law is so against ending a person’s life prematurely, even if he is unable to live a normal life. Rav Zev Leff Shlita points out that even a person in a coma may well be able to perform numerous mitzvos by his thought. He can fulfil the Mitzvos that only require thought and moreover, Chazal tell us that if a person has a desire to perform a mitzvo but is prevented from doing so, he nevertheless receives reward as if he did indeed fulfil the mitzvo. Therefore, every second more of life is a great opportunity to create more Olam Haba.

We have seen how every second of life is infinitely precious. Yet we often think that little can be achieved in a few minutes here or there. However, experience has proven differently. The Chasam Sofer was once asked how he became a Gadol, he answered that he became a Gadol in five minutes. He meant that by utilising every available moment he was able to learn so much more. Rav Moshe Feinstein once had a very large smile on his face - he explained that he had just completed Shas. This was not a novel achievement for him, he was known to have finished Shas dozens of times, but this siyum was different. It comprised of his learning in the gaps at Chasunas; by consistently learning small amounts he eventually learnt all of Shas this way. We too can use small amounts of time to attain surprisingly great achievements in learning. There are people who learn one Mishna a day, this seems a somewhat trivial amount, but after years of consistently doing this they have completed whole Sedarim of Mishnayos. Another important benefit of small sedarim is that one can use them to learn areas of Torah that are not normally given sufficient attention. One Talmid Chacham in Eretz Yisroel is well-known for his expertise in all areas of Torah, including Navi, Hashkafa, and Mussar, as well as his all encompassing grasp of Shas and poskim. When asked how he managed to learn such a wide array of subjects he explained that he had many small sedarim - by learning Maharal or Navi for ten minutes a day, he gradually attained a wide knowledge in them. Similarly, Rav Yisroel Reisman Shlita often emphasises that in order to know Navi, one need not devote hours each day to it. He attained his expertise in it by learning it for a few minutes each night. Nowadays there are many ways in which one can utilise small sedarim - there are books such as ’A Lesson a Day’ and ’Praying with Fire’ which enable people to learn small but significant amounts of highly important subjects each day.

We have seen how precious the gift of life is and the great value of every moment of life. Life is full of challenges and there are times when a person can feel despondent - but if he remembers that life itself is cause for joy then he can overcome any negative feelings: When the Alter of Novardok first started to build yeshivas, he was unsuccessful. He built yeshivas and they collapsed, he organised groups and they disintegrated. In addition, he and his approach were attacked by opponents. At that time he came to Kelm and his Rebbi, The Alter of Kelm noticed he looked sad and understood why. That Motsei Shabbos when a group had gathered to hear his shmuese, he stood at the podium and remained silent for a very, very long time. Then he banged his hand on the shtender and thundered, “It is enough for a living being that he is alive.” Over and over he repeated his words until finally he told the group to doven Maariv. “That session” said the Alter of Novardok “dispelled my gloom and cleared my thoughts. ” The Alter of Kelm taught the Alter of Novardok a priceless lesson - as long as one is alive, there is nothing to complain about. May we all be zocheh to appreciate the gift of life and use it to its fullest.