THE TRUE SOURCE OF SIMCHA - KI SAVO

KI SAVO - THE TRUE SOURCE OF SIMCHA - By Yehonasan Gefen A great deal of Parshas Ki Savo outlines the devastating punishments that would befall the Jewish people if they do not follow the Torah. In the midst of the tochacha the Torah gives us a deeper insight into the cause of all the terrible punishments enumerated here; “Since you did not serve Hashem, your G-d, with joy and goodness of heart, from rov kol (the abundance of everything). ” The simple understanding of this passuk is that the Jewish people did not perform mitzvos with happiness despite the fact that they were blessed with the abundance of everything . The Arizal explains the passuk according to the Kabbala in a slightly different way. He says that the Torah is saying that we may have performed mitzvos with a certain degree of happiness, however our ikar joy did not derive from shemiras hamitzvos, rather from the simcha of ‘rov kol’ which refers to all other sources of happiness . Thus, Hashem is telling the Jewish people that the simcha of Avodas Hashem must be far greater than the pleasure derived from other endeavors. This is a lesson that is of great relevance to Rosh Hashana: The main avoda of Rosh Hashana is to make Hashem King. A significant aspect of this is to recognize that Hashem is the only source of meaning, all other ‘sources’ of pleasure are meaningless. This is also a prerequisite to the teshuva process leading up to Yom Kippur. because if a person’s sheifus (desires) are not purely towards Avodas Hashem, then he will find it almost impossible to avoid sin. There will be times when his desires clash with Ratson Hashem and his shemiras hamitzvos will inevitably suffer. Thus, any teshuva he does on Yom Kippur will be tainted by his outlook on life - that Hashem is not the only source of meaning and joy. It is important to note that even if a person somehow avoids sinning whilst pursuing his other desires he will still face unpleasant consequences. Rav Yissochor Frand Shlita tells a frightening story that illustrates this point. The Chiddushei Harim zt”l once travelled with a man on his carriage that was pulled by two horses. After a few miles, one of the horses died, causing great distress to its owner. A few miles later, the other horse also died. The owner was so distressed at the loss of his horses that meant so much to him that he sat crying for a long time until he cried so much that he died. That night, the Chiddushei Harim had a dream; in that dream he saw that the man who had died, received Olam Haba. But what was his Olam Haba? A lovely carriage with two beautiful horses. This story teaches us that our Olam Haba is created by what we value in Olam Hazeh - for this man, the most important thing in his life was his horses and carriage, therefore, that was what he got for eternity. One may ask, it does not seem to be so bad for a person to receive in Olam Haba that which he cherishes so much in Olam Hazeh. Rav Frand answers this question. He says that when he was a young child he always wanted a slingshot with which to play with but his parents refused. Imagine if, at the time of his wedding, his parents would come to him and say, “here is the slingshot that you always wanted!” As a child, the slingshot was valuable to him, but now he has grown out of it. So too, we may strive to acquire various pleasures in Olam Hazeh, such as money or kavod, believing that they will provide us with contentment. But when we arrive in Olam Haba we will see the truth of the words of Mesillas Yesharim: “everything else [apart from closeness to Hashem] that people believe are good is nothing but emptiness. ” In the Olam Haemes, we will see with perfect clarity, how meaningless are those things that we put so much energy into acquiring in this world. The tochacha of Ki Savo is a stark reminder that it is not enough to merely observe the mitzvos, but that it must be the sole driving force in our lives. Kavod, power, money, food and any other ‘pleasure’ are all illusionary sources of meaning - making Hashem King means realizing that He is the only source of true simcha.

MITZVOS AND MINHAGIM - KI SAVO

KI SAVO – MITZVOS AND MINHAGIM By Yehonasan Gefen Before the lengthy rebuke that characterizes much of Parshas Ki Savo, the Torah promises great rewards for the Jewish people if they follow HaShem’s instructions. This section ends with a warning how the people should not act: “And you shall not turn away from the words that I command you today, to the left or to the right, to go after other gods, to serve them.” The simple understanding of these words is that they are an exhortation against idol worship. However, the Seforno offers a different explanation. He writes that the Torah was telling the people that they should not confuse Minhagim (customs) that they perform out of habit, with genuine Torah Mitzvos. Rav Moshe Sternbuch Shlita, explains that the Seforno is including Minhagim that have a genuine basis in Jewish law. The Seforno is saying that Minhagim should be viewed as ways of protecting or facilitating the Mitzvos of the Torah and they should not be viewed as the ikar Mitzvo (an end in and of itself). When this pitfall occurs, a person will fail to differentiate between Torah Mitzvos, and Minhagim or stringencies and this can have dire consequences. Indeed, probably the most damaging sin in history came about as a result of confusion between stringencies and HaShem’s command. In Parshas Bereishis, HaShem commanded Adam HaRishon not to eat from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. However, when the snake asked Chava about the tree, Chava answered that they were commanded not to eat from the tree and to not even touch it and were they to do either, they would die. Why did she add the prohibition to touch the tree when HaShem had said nothing about touching it? Chazal tell us that HaShem instructed Adam not to eat the tree and when he transmitted HaShem’s instructions to Chava, he added the prohibition not to touch the tree. His intentions were noble, in that he wanted to make an extra boundary protecting Chava from eating from the tree. However, his mistake was that he did not tell Chava that the prohibition to touch the tree was not from HaShem, rather it was of his own initiative. Accordingly, when the snake pushed Chava into the tree and nothing happened, the snake proved to her that just as nothing negative happened when she touched the tree, so too nothing would happen if she would eat from the tree. There was nothing necessarily wrong with Adam’s additional instruction in and of itself. However, the fact that he did not inform Chava that it was his own added stringency and not from HaShem led to confusion that had grave consequences. In addition to not confusing Minhagim with Torah Mitzvos, the Seforno, as explained by Rav Sternbuch, pointed out that one should not forget that Minhagim are not ends in themselves, rather they are supposed to serve the purpose of enabling us to keep Mitzvos. In a similar vein, some Minhagim also serve the purpose of teaching us character traits that are essential to our Avodas HaShem, and again one must be careful not to strictly adhere to the Minhag whilst forgetting its lesson. The following stories demonstrate how easily one can make this mistake. The story is told of a Gadol who visited a home for the Friday night meal. As he and his host entered the house, they saw that the challah had not been covered as is the Minhag. The host, upset at this failing in front of his honored guest, proceeded to berate his hapless wife in front of the Gadol. After this outburst, the Gadol gently took him aside and asked him if he knew why we cover the challah? The reason is so as not to embarrass it when we bless on the wine before it. By embarrassing his wife the host demonstrated that he had clearly not internalized the message of this Minhag! On another Friday night, one yeshiva bachur was invited to the home of someone for the first time. Before the meal began, the host proceeded to chat with his guests for 45 minutes, leaving the bachur to suffer in his own hunger as he waited for the meal to begin. As they got to the table, the host announced that he was skipping Shalom Aleichem and Eishes Chayil because that was the custom of the Chofetz Chaim zt”l . The host may have forgotten that the reason the Chofetz Chaim would do this was because he did not want to make the hungry guests wait a few extra minutes before they could eat. By ignoring the hunger of his guests for 45 minutes, the host demonstrated that he had not internalized the sensitivity to others that this Minhag was supposed to help instill. He remembered the Minhag but ignored its purpose. The yetser hara has many ways in which it can lead us astray. We have seen that one of them is to make us observe Minhagim at the expense of keeping Mitzvos properly. This lesson has many applications; a person may have a tendency to focus on Kabbalistic matters, whilst forgetting the most fundamental Mitzvos. Rav Yaakov Hillel Shlita, once met a man who proudly told him that it is forbidden to place the fingers of one’s hand between those of his other hand. In the course of their conversation, it became evident that his man did not keep Shabbos! The yetser hara may make a person focus greatly on externalities involved in his or her dress code that do not involve actual Jewish law. Whilst this may well be commendable in many cases, it is also possible that such a strong emphasis in one area can often cause an under-emphasis in Torah Mitzvos. But, as we have seen, the most basic lesson is that one should remember when something is a Minhag and not a Torah Mitzvo, and that this Minhag is intended to teach him some kind of lesson or help him observe the Torah in a better way. May we all merit to understand the purpose of the Mitzvos and Minhagim.

MAKING THE MOST OF OUR STRENGTHS - KI SEITZEI

KI SEITZEI - MAKING THE MOST OF OUR STRENGTHS By Yehonasan Gefen “An Ammonite and Moabite shall not enter the congregation of Hashem, even their tenth generation shall not enter the congregation of Hashem, to eternity. Because of the fact that they did not greet you with bread and water on the road when you were leaving Egypt, and because he hired against you Bilaam Ben Beor, of Pethor, Aram Naharaim, to curse you. ” The Torah tells us that Ammon and Moav are the only nations who are prohibited to ever marry into the Jewish people and gives two reasons to explain this severe treatment; the first is that they did not show hospitality to the Jewish people in the desert and the second is that they hired Bilaam to curse them. The commentaries ask how the Torah seems to equate the lack of hospitality with the hiring of Bilaam to curse the Jewish people; surely attempting to curse is a far more serious misdemeanor than a lacking in chesed! The Be’eros Yitzchak explains that the Torah sees Ammon and Moav’s failure to offer bread and water as a heinous sin because they inherited a natural tendency to hospitality from their ancestor, Lot. Lot, despite his failings, is portrayed as a highly hospitable person in the account of his efforts at hachnasas orchim in Sodom. He was willing to risk his life in order to serve the needs of travelers. As his descendants, Ammon and Moav inherited this self same mida and yet they deliberately acted against their teva and refused to offer bread and water to the Jewish people who were traveling through the desert and surely in need of the basic necessities. Even though hiring Bilaam to curse the Jews was objectively a far more damaging act, nonetheless, on their level of bechira, the refusal to help the Jews is judged on the same level and is deserving of such a strong punishment. There are a number of lessons we can learn from Ammon and Moav’s failure to utilize their natural strengths. Firstly, we see that a person is judged according to his own nekduas habechira (free will point) and therefore is judged more stringently in his areas of strengths. Accordingly, an essential part of one’s self-growth should be improving one’s strong points. In this vein, the example of Ammon and Moav is particularly instructive; why indeed did they fail in an area where they naturally excelled? The answer is that their good mida of hachnasas orchim did not derive from significant effort at self-growth, rather it was an inborn trait that they inherited from their ancestor. Because their hachnasas orchim was not directed by the Torah’s guidelines, it was almost inevitable that it would be misused or not used at all in certain circumstances. When Ammon and Moav saw the Jewish people coming, their natural inclination was surely to offer them bread and water, however their hatred and fear of Klal Yisroel overcame their mida of chesed and caused them to refrain from offering such vitally needed assistance. We see from here that if a person does not work on his natural strengths and align them with the requirements of the Torah then he will come to misuse them or not utilize them in the most effective way. For example, a person may be naturally friendly, but there may be occasions where he is tired and is unwilling to make the effort to befriend a stranger. In this case his natural mida is not strong enough to direct him in the right way because it is faced with something else, in this case tiredness, that makes it hard to be friendly. If, however he would strive to be friendly because it is a great mitzvo to make people feel important then he is far more likely to overcome his tiredness and make the effort to approach the other person. Another very important lesson derived from Ammon and Moav is how much they could have achieved had they maximized their mida of chesed to its fullest potential; had they in fact come out and offered bread and water to the Jewish people it is very likely that the Torah would record this great act of kindness for eternity and of course they would be allowed to marry into the Jewish people . Instead, because they did not make the correct use of their strengths, they are treated with the greatest disdain. We see from here that a person can achieve great things by maximizing his strengths to their fullest and failure to do so is treated severely. The Chofetz Chaim zt”l stressed this point in his Sefer, Chomas Hadas, which was an exhortation to people to help save Klal Yisroel from the many secular influences that surrounded it. He wrote at length of the need for each person to use his strengths to the fullest - for example, a person blessed with the ability to speak in public should give drashos in public. This also applies to midos; it is very likely that a person’s tafkid (purpose in life) would involve utilizing his good midos to their fullest. We learn from Ammon and Moav how NOT to use one’s strengths - may we all use this lesson for the good and make the most use of those gifts that Hashem has granted us.

YOUR BROTHER AND YOUR ENEMY - KI SEITZEI

KI SEITSEI – YOUR BROTHER AND YOUR ENEMY By Yehonasan Gefen In Parashas Ki Seitzei, there are a number of Mitzvos instructing us how to react to a fellow Jew who is in some kind of predicament. One of them is the Mitzvo to help unload one’s fellow’s animal when it is suffering under a heavy burden. The Torah tells us: “You shall not see the donkey of your brother or his ox falling on the road and hide yourself from them, you shall surely stand them up, with him.” The commentaries note that this Mitzvo was already mentioned in another place in the Torah, however with a significant difference: In Parashas Mishpatim, the Torah states: “If you see the donkey of your enemy crouching under its burden, would you refrain from helping him? – you shall repeatedly help him.” The obvious question is why, in Parashas Mishpatim, the Torah instructed us to help one’s enemy, whereas in Parashas Ki Seitzei, the Torah discussed helping his brother. The Meshech Chachmah offers a fascinating answer. He begins by bringing the Gemara in Pesachim that says it is permissible to ‘hate’ a person whom one knows has committed a despicable action. The ‘enemy’ that the Torah refers to in Parashas Mishpatim is someone about whom one knows he has committed such an action. The Meshech Chacmah writes that the passuk in Parashas Mishpatim was written before the sin of the Golden Calf, when the people were on an incredibly high spiritual level. At that time, because of their high level, it was acceptable for one to harbor negative feelings towards people who acted incorrectly. However, after the people sinned with the Golden Calf and on many other occasions, it would no longer be valid to feel negatively towards someone who sinned. This is because after a realistic self-assessment, each person would realize that they were really no better than the person whom they saw sin. Accordingly, it would be wrong to harbor feelings of hatred towards someone who acted inappropriately. With this explanation, he continues that by the time Moshe instructed the people in Parashas Ki Seitzei, they had already long fallen from their exalted level that they attained before the Golden Calf. Therefore, in this Parashah, the Torah says to help the donkey of “your brother” because even one who acts inappropriately is no worse than anyone else. We have now explained the difference between the two passukim that deal with helping unload a donkey. However, it is still necessary to analyze why exactly it is so wrong for a person who sins himself, to feel negatively about someone else who sins. The simple understanding would be that it is hypocritical. However, it seems that there is a deeper principle underlying this issue. There are a number of reasons why one may feel negatively towards someone else. It may come from a genuine feeling of disgust at his reprehensible behavior. However, there is also the possibility that the negativity originates from a less pure place. A person may dislike someone else because of jealousy or because that person expresses a dislike to himself. Such forms of aversion are unacceptable according to the Torah viewpoint because they are not coming from a feeling of concern for the person, rather from a personal hatred. The only acceptable type of ‘dislike’ is one that is focused on a dislike of the displeasing actions of the person. However, this should in no way take away from the feelings of love that one must feel for every fellow Jew. Based on this understanding, it seems that the Meshech Chachmah is saying that if one acts inappropriately himself, he may not feel negatively towards his fellow man who also acts improperly. This is because the fact that he himself sins, means that he does not feel a genuine disdain for sin, for if he did, then he would not sin himself. Therefore, his feelings of negativity are inevitably stemming, not from a pure distaste for sin, but for personal motives. Dislike that comes from such motives are unacceptable. We have seen how it is unacceptable to look down on others for their mistakes, when we commit similar mistakes ourselves. Whilst it is essential to care about the spiritual level of others, one must be careful that his concern his genuine and not coming from his own personal flaws. Moreover, as the Meshech Chachmah pointed out, if we were to make our own personal accounting, we would recognize many areas where there could be improvement. Elul, in particular, is a time that is very conducive to focus on one’s own faults as opposed to those of other people.

THE POWER OF HABIT - KI SEITZEI

KI SEITZEI - THE POWER OF HABIT By Yehonasan Gefen “An Ammonite and Moabite shall not enter the congregation of Hashem …. Because of the fact that they did not greet you with bread and water on the road when you were leaving Egypt. ” The men of Ammon and Moav displayed a great failing in the mida of chesed when they refused to give the Jewish people bread and water. This is one of the reasons that they can never marry into the Jewish people. The Maylitz Yosher notes that their failure to be gracious hosts is all the more difficult to understand when we bear in mind their patriarch - Lot. Lot excelled in hachnasas orchim (hosting people) to the extent that he risked his life to look after the angels who came to Sodom. In light of this, how is it possible that in a few generations this mida completely disappeared and his descendants displayed such indifference? He answers that if a person does chesed because of an internal recognition of its importance and a genuine desire to help others, then it will become ingrained in his descendants for many generations. However, if the chesed comes from habit then it will not be internalized by future generations. Lot did indeed excel in chesed, however this was only because he was brought up in the home of Avraham Avinu. He did not attain an internal recognition of the importance of chesed, it was merely a course of habit for him. Consequently actions such as those of Lot that are not internalized into a person’s soul do not last . There are two important lessons that can derived from the explanation of the Maylitz Yosher: Firstly, it reveals one of the reasons for the all too common occurrences of youngsters brought up in observant homes leaving the path of Torah. If their parents keep the mitzvos, but their observance comes not out of internalization of what it means to be an Eved Hashem, but out of habit, then the children will surely pick up their parents attitude to mitzvos. At best, they will keep the mitzvos out of rote (which of course is highly undesirable) but at worst, the mitzvos will provide no meaning to their lives and consequently they will turn to other sources to find happiness and meaning. Secondly, the Maylitz Yosher emphasises that even though Lot performed chesed out of habit he nevertheless did so to the degree that he was willing to give up his life for it! Thus a person may feel that since he is willing to spend much effort, money and time into the performance of mitzvos then this is a proof that he is not doing them out of habit. However, we see from Lot that the force of habit is so powerful that it can even drive a person to risk his life for it! The Alter of Slobodka brings out another point with regards to Lot’s chesed. In the parsha about the rescue of Lot from Sodom, the Torah says that Hashem remembered Avraham and therefore freed Lot . The Medrash explains that Lot was saved because of a particular chesed that he performed for Avraham. When Avraham and Sarah were in Mitzrayim and Avraham said that Sarah was his sister, Lot could have easily revealed the truth to the Mitzrim and probably earn a great deal of money in return. The Alter asks, Lot was saved from destruction in Sodom for not committing the terrible act of informing on his own uncle to the Mitzrim; but surely his great mesiras nefesh to do hachnasas orchim in Sodom should be the source of his merit. He answers that because Lot’s hachnasas orchim was a result of his upbringing and not something he had internalized himself, it did not reflect in any high level and therefore deserves no reward. In contrast, he had a great natural love for money and this was so great that he felt a great temptation to at least hint to the Mitzrim that Sarah was Avraham’s wife and not his sister. In this area, he did not have the benefit of habit to help him, he had to turn to his own self-control and on this occasion he succeeded through his own efforts to do the right thing. In this instance, his ability to refrain from being an informer is considered greater than his tremendous chesed in Sodom . We learn from here an example of Rav Dessler zt”l’s principle known as ’Nekudas habechira’ (the free will point). Rav Dessler argues that each person is not judged purely according to his mitzvos and maasim tovim, but to the degree to which he improves himself through his own efforts. Consequently he is judged according to his own standard, which takes into account his upbringing, surrounding influences and natural inclinations. This explains why we can never judge our friend until we stand in his place - we can never understand the nature of the tests that our friend faces because we can never know all the factors in his life. It is true that there is reward for every mitzvo that is performed, however the main reward is for fighting the battle with the yetser hara and using one’s free will to become a better person. Thus, a person who is brought up in an atmosphere of shemiras hamitzvos and good midos does not receive his main reward for doing what he was naturally brought up to do . As we approach Elul, this is a frightening concept; we presume that all the mitzvos that we perform will be put on the scales against our aveiros, however the power of each mitzvo is judged according to the degree of free will that was exercised in its performance. Consequently, the mitzvos of a person who performs them simply because he was brought up that way, lose a great deal of their potency. How can we begin to counter the power of habit? Rav Dessler writes that “the Gedolei hamussar and chassidus in the recent generations revealed to us the absolute necessity of limmudim of avodas halev that bring a person to an internalization [of mitzvos]. ” These include learning mussar, studying the meaning of tefilla, and a deepening of avodas Hashem. Of course it is difficult for a person to take on too much at the same time but Elul is an apt time to focus on one area of Avodas Hashem in which habit has taken over and to try to increase the inner meaning in our performance in this area. The rewards for such avoda are great - we can ensure that our external actions will become internalized in ourselves and consequently our descendants will be far more likely to follow in the path of Torah.

השפעתנו על הסובבים אותנו - שופטים

בס"ד שופטים – השפעתנו על הסובבים אותנו יהונתן גפן "מי האיש הירא ורך הלבב ילך וישוב לביתו, ולא ימס לבב אחיו כלבבו" התורה מצווה על כל אותם אלה שפוחדים לצאת למלחמה לעזוב את שדה הקרב בשל ההשפעה השלילית של התנהגותם על שאר הלוחמים – הפחד עלול להוליד פחד גם אצל אחיהם הלוחמים– והתוצאות עלולות להזיק ביותר. הרמב"ן מביא את דעתו של הבה"ג שמצווה זו היא אחת מתרי"ג המצוות . ר' חיים שמואלביץ זצ"ל אומר ששורש מצווה זו אינו שייך דווקא למלחמה אלא אסור לאדם לנהוג בין אנשים באופן שישפיע עליהם לרעה בכל שטח שהוא. הדברים נכונים גם במקרה בו קיימת סיבה מוצדקת לחלוטין לצורת התנהגות מסוימת אולם ייתכן שהסביבה תפרש זאת באופן שלילי – בכך הוא מעורר על האחריות המוטלת על כל בן ישיבה שלא להחסיר בסדרים, גם כשיש סיבה מוצדקת, כיוון שחבריו אינם יודעים על קיומה והם עלולים ללמוד ממנו קלות דעת בשמירת סדרי הישיבה . הרב שלמה זלמן אוירבך זצ"ל הביא רעיון זה לידי ביטוי בהוראת הלכה למעשה – אדם אחד שאלו פעם באיזה מנין של שחרית לבחור; מניין אחד איטי הרבה יותר מהשני, מה שמאפשר תפילה ביתר כוונה, אבל אם יתפלל בו יאלץ לצאת מעט לפני סיום התפילה. הרב שלמה זלמן ענה שיתפלל במניין האיטי יותר למרות שיצטרך לצאת מוקדם. אבל הוא חייב להודיע לשאר המתפללים את הסיבה לכך שהוא עוזב מוקדם כדי למנוע חילול ה' . למרות שבעוזבו את בית הכנסת ינהג השואל על פי ההלכה, בכל אופן היה עליו להתייחס להשפעה שעלולה להיות למעשהו על הסובבים אותו . וכאן יכול אדם לשאול, מדוע הוא נידון על הדרך בה השפיע מעשהו על אחרים – אף אם אין בו שמץ של פגם. אנו מצווים בתרי"ג מצוות; אם אדם מקיימם כהלכה – מדוע עליו לסבול רק בגלל אחרים ששוגים ולומדים ממעשיו באופן שלילי? הרב חיים מוולוז'ין זצ"ל כותב שאנו אומרים בתפילת עמידה של ראש השנה שהקב"ה דן אותנו על "מעשה איש ופקודתו" מעשה איש – הם המעשים שעשה האדם, אך מהי כוונת המילה "ופקודתו"? הוא מסביר שלכל אחד ישנו תחום השפעה סביבו הכולל את משפחתו, תלמידיו וכל אדם אחר שבא במגע עימו. הצורה בה משפיעים מעשיו עליהם היא "פקודתו" וכל אדם נידון בראש השנה גם על שטח זה של מעשיו. אם הם ראו את מעשיו ולמדו מהם להתעלות ולהשתפר בעבודת ה' שלהם הוא יזכה בשכר גדול על כך, אולם אם קרה ההיפך, אזי ידונו אותו על חלקו בחטאיהם בדיוק כשם שדנים אותו על מעשיו הוא . מעשי האדם אינם נעשים בחלל ריק – תמיד יהיו אנשים מהצד שיבחנו ויראו. לכן, אנו חייבים להיות מודעים לכך שייתכן מאד שתהיה השפעה זו או אחרת על אחרים כתוצאה ממעשינו, אפילו ללא שנוצר כל מגע וקשר עם השני. הסיפור הבא, אותו מספר ר' דוד קפלן משקף באופן יפה רעיון זה: "פסח הסנדלר הלך לעולמו ועמד לפני בית דין של מעלה. הוא ראה למולו זוג מאזניים כבדות, וקול עמוק נשמע בחלל: "הביאו את המצוות!" מלאכים עטויי לבן הופיעו ובידם כמה שקיות גדולות מלאות במצוות. הם העמיסו אותם על כף אחת של המאזניים, וצד הזכויות ירד מטה. פניו של ר' פסח זרחו. ואז נשמע שוב קול אחר: "הביאו את העבירות!" שני משאיות מלאות מלאכים שחורים, בעלי מראה מבעית נכנסו והחלו להעמיס חבילות של עבירות על הכף השנית. מיד נעלם החיוך מפניו של ר' פסח. תוך כדי עבודתם הוא לפתע שם לב למשהו מוזר. 'רגע, רגע', הוא צעק, 'חלק מכל העבירות האלה בכלל לא שלי! מעולם, מעולם לא עשיתי את זה, ואת זה, וגם את זה לא' 'לא', הגיעו התשובה מבית דין של מעלה. 'באמת לא עברת עליהם. אלה הן עבירות של אנשים אחרים, שראו את מעשיך ולמדו מהם. אתה אחראי לכשלונם. כאשר דיברת בבית המדרש, ראה אותך וֶעלוֶל, והבין מכך שמותר לדבר – העבירה הזאת שייכת לך. כאשר עזבת מוקדם מידי את בית הכנסת, ראה אותך חיים ה'שטריימל מאכער', וחשב שגם הוא יכול לנהוג כך – אתה אחראי גם לזה. כן, וגם כאשר דיברת לשון הרע, והסובבים אותך חשבו שמותר להם להאזין כיון שאתה הוא הדובר – עליך מוטלת כל האחריות על חטאם...' מצד שני, ניתן לשמוח מהידיעה שאפשר גם להנות מדין כזה כיוון שבאותה מידה ניתן להשפיעה השפעה חיובית על הזולת: אחת הדרכים בהן ניתן לעשות זאת הינה להוות דוגמא חיובית בהנהגתנו, על ידי כך יתעוררו הסובבים אותנו וירצו ללכת בעקבותינו . ר' אהרון קוטלר זצ"ל כותב שבימינו קשה עד מאד להוכיח אדם בלי לביישו, הוא מציע דרך אחרת כיצד לסייע לאחרים בהתפתחותם הרוחנית ללא חשש של גרימת צער, והיא על ידי דוגמא אישית; לנהוג באופן שיעורר אחרים ללכת בעקבותיו . לדוגמא, בחור ישיבה שמתמיד להגיע לתפילה בזמן, ודאי יכול להשפיע בכך על חברי החדר שלו שינהגו כמוהו; אדם שעמל לפרנסתו אך גם מקפיד מאד על קביעת עיתים לתורה, מהווה סמל ודוגמא לאחרים שעדיין לא מצאו את הזמן הקבוע בו יכולים לשבת וללמוד. או אדם שנזהר מאד מלשון הרע – קשה מאד לסובבים אותו לעשות זאת כאשר הוא נוכח במקום. הרב קוטלר מחדש שאם אדם פועל באופן מיוחד בנושא כלשהו השיך לעבודת ה', והוא עושה זאת מתוך כוונה להשפיע על אנשים שרואים אותו ובוחנים את מעשיו, הוא מקיים בכך את מצות תוכחה. וככל שהאדם גדול יותר- כוחו גדול יותר בהשפעה על אחרים בדרך זו. בלבו של אחד מגדולי בעלי המוסר – ר' נפתלי אמסטרדם שכנה החלטה נחרצת – להביא את כל בני דורו לחיות חיי תורה אמיתיים. כאשר שאלו אותו פעם כיצד הוא מתכנן להוציא זאת לפועל, הוא ענה "החלטתי לקיים את כל ההלכות שבשולחן ערוך בהקפדה מלאה. בדרך זו אהפוך לשולחן ערוך חי, וכל מי שירצה לשמור את התורה הקדושה יוכל לראות בי דוגמא חיה ליהודי מושלם, וללמוד ממני כיצד לשוב בתשובה לחיי תורה" . ר' חיים שמואלביץ ממשיך בשיחתו ומביא הוכחות לכך שכאשר אדם גורם לזולתו לקיים מצווה – נחשב הדבר למעשה גדול יותר מעשיית המצווה בעצמו. אחת ההוכחות לכך היא הגמרא במסכת סוטה: "כל אותן שנים שהיו ישראל במדבר היו עצמותיו של יהודא מגולגלין בארון, עד שעמד משה וביקש עליו רחמים, אמר לפניו רבונו של עולם, מי גרם לראובן שהודה [בחטאו – שהעביר את מיטת אביו] יהודה [כאשר הודה במעשה תמר]" הרב שמואלביץ מציין שהזכות היחידה אותה הזכיר משה בתפילתו היא שיהודה גרם לראובן להודות. מדוע לא הזכיר את הזכות של המעשה עצמו - הודאתו של יהודה בחטאו הוא? היה זה הרי מעשה גדלות שבזכותו ניצלו שלש נפשות?! אם כך, על כרחנו עלינו לומר שכאשר מזכים אדם אחר זוהי זכות גדולה יותר מעשיית המעשה בעצמו – ואשר על כן, ההשפעה שהייתה למעשהו של יהודה על ראובן הייתה חשובה יותר מהמעשה עצמו . אדם לעולם אינו יכול לדעת אלו ממעשיו ישפיעו על אחרים ומתי, אפילו המעשה הקטן ביותר יכול לגרום השפעה עצומה על השני, כפי שניתן לראות בשני הסיפורים האמיתיים הבאים: הצדיק ר' אליהו דושניצר זצ"ל התכונן לקהל מתפללים רב שיגיע לתפילת יום הכיפורים בבית הכנסת הגדול של פתח תקווה. לכן, הוא ישב לפני היום הגדול וחתך ניירות טואלט עבור המתפללים. יהודי חילוני נעצר להביט במחזה המוזר שנגלה לנגד עיניו. "מדוע אתה עושה כך?" הוא שאל. "מחר אמור להגיע לבית הכנסת קהל גדול אינני רוצה שאפילו אדם אחד יחוש אי נעימות". לאחר ששב אותו יהודי בתשובה הוא הסביר מה הניע אותו לשנות את אורח חייו. "היה זה אותו רבי. כל קריעה וקריעה של נייר יצרה קרע עמוק בתוך ליבי" . משה היה בחור צעיר שהתלבט האם להיכנס לישיבה למשך יום שלם או לבנות לעצמו קריירה כלשהי. הוא החליט ללכת לישיבה ולראות כיצד נראים הבחורים שם. בעת שנכנס לחדר האוכל נתקל בו בחור וגרם לו לשפוך את כוס הקפה שהייתה בידו על בחור אחר שישב ליד השולחן. לא עברה שניה אחת של היסוס והבחור מיד קרא בקול: "שמעון, הבא מהר כוס אחרת של קפה למשה!" משה החליט שאם זו הצורה בה נראה בחור ישיבה - הוא נשאר כאן. הוא גדל והיה לר' משה שוואב , המשגיח בישיבת גיטסהד . אותם אלה שגרמו לאחרים בשני הסיפורים לעשות שינוי משמעותי בחייהם לא יקבלו שכר רק על עצם המעשה הטוב שעשו, אלא הרבה מעבר לכך. המשנה באבות אומרת שאדם המזכה את הרבים – שכרו לאין שיעור - בתחילה כתוב ש'אין חטא בא על ידו' – רבים מהמפרשים כותבים שהכוונה היא שהוא יזכה לסיעתא דשמיא מיוחדת להימנע מחטא. לאחר מכן מביאה המשנה את משה רבינו כדוגמא למזכה הרבים, וכותבת ש"זכות הרבים תלוי בו" כלומר, שהוא זכה לשכר עבור כל המצוות שעשו ישראל בזכותו כאילו הוא עשה אותם בעצמו. ר' אהרון קוטלר כותב שאדם שמזכה אחרים במצוות זוכה לשכר עצום על מעשיו, אדם לא יכול לדמיין עד כמה רבות הזכויות בהן זוכה אדם בדרך זו; הוא זוכה לשמירה מיוחדת משמים שלא להיכשל בחטא, נוסף לכך נזקפות לו זכויות רבות עד מאד, מספר עצום אליו לא היה יכול להגיע רק על ידי מעשיו שלו . בהמשך הוא כותב שעניין זה יכול אף לסייע לנו בדין; הגמרא כותבת שספרי חיים וספרים מתים פתוחים בראש השנה. תוספות מסבירים שגם המתים באים למשפט ביום זה . על מה דנים את המתים? הרב קוטלר מסביר שגם לאחר מותו של אדם, קיימת עדיין השפעה ממעשיו שעשה בזה העולם, והם יכולים להשפיע על אחרים לטוב ולמוטב. וכך, אם אדם מסיע לאחרים בעבודת ה' בכזו דרך – התוצאות הטובות הינן לטווח ארוך מאד, שכרו יכול להכפיל את עצמו ואף יותר, גם לאחר מותו . ייתן ה' וכולנו נזכה לדין המיוחד של מזכה הרבים.

OUR INFLUENCE ON OTHERS - SHOFTIM

SHOFTIM - OUR INFLUENCE ON OTHERS By Yehonasan Gefen “Who is the man who is fearful and faint-hearted? Let him go and return to his house, and let him not melt the heart of his fellows to be like his heart. ” The Torah commands anyone who is afraid of going to war to leave the battlefield because of the negative influence his behaviour will have on his fellow soldiers. They will be effected by his fear and consequently become more fearful themselves which will have a detrimental session . The Ramban brings the opinion of the Behag that this is one of the 613 mitzvos . Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l says that the shoresh of this mitzvo is that it is forbidden to act in such a way in any area of life that will negatively influence onlookers. This applies even if the action is justified but can still be interpreted in a negative way - thus he warns of the care a ben yeshiva must take in not missing seder, even when he has a valid reason, because everyone else may not know of this reason and will come to learn to be less makpid in keeping to their own seder . Rav Shlomo-Zalman Auerbach zt”l applied this principle in halacho. He was asked by someone who had a choice of two Shacharis minyanim; one was far slower than the other, allowing for more kavanna, but if he would daven in it he would have to leave before the end. Rav Auerbach answered that he should daven in the slower minyan even though he would have to leave early. However, he told the person that he should make known the reason for his early departure so as to avoid a possible chillul Hashem . Even though the shoel was following the halacho by leaving early, nevertheless he had to be aware of the possible consequences that this could have on others . One may ask, why should a person be judged by how his actions influence others if there is nothing intrinsically wrong with them - we are commanded to keep the 613 mitzvos; if a person does that then why should he suffer from others imitating him in a negative way? Rav Chaim of Volozhin zt”l writes that in the Shemoneh Esrei of Rosh Hashana we say that Hashem judges the “maaseh ish upekudaso”. Maaseh ish means a person’s own actions, but what does ‘pekudaso’ refer to? He explains that each person has a sphere of influence beyond himself, which includes his family, his students, and any people that come into contact with him. The way he influences these people through his own actions is ‘pekudaso’ and he is judged in that area as well. If, by observing his behaviour, they learn to improve their avodas Hashem then he will receive much reward but if the opposite occurs then he will be judged for his part in their aveiros just as he is judged for his own . A person’s actions do not take place in a vacuum, we are always being noticed by others, consequently we must constantly be aware of the possible effect we can have on others without even directly communicating with them. This idea is demonstrated in the following story told by Rav Dovid Kaplan Shlita: “Pesach the shoemaker died and went before the beis din shel maalah. He saw a massive pair of scales in front of him and a deep voice called out, ‘Bring in the mitzvos!” Angels dressed in white brought in several big bags stuffed with mitzvos. They poured them onto the scale, and the side of zechus went down, bringing a big smile to Pesach’s face. A voice then said, ‘bring in the aveiros!’ A couple of trucks full of black, gruesome-looking angels came in and began pouring the aveiros on the other side of the scale. The smile quickly faded from Pesach’s face. In the middle of the procedure he noticed something odd. ‘Wait, wait,’ he cried, ‘some of those aveiros are not mine. I never did that, that or that.’ ‘No,’ responded the beis din shel maalah, ’indeed you did not. Those are the aveiros of people who watched what you did and learned from your actions. You are responsible for their deeds. When you spoke in shul, Velvel saw you speaking and therefore thought it was okay to speak - you get his aveiro. When you left shul early and Chaim the shtreimel maker thought he could leave early as well, you are responsible for that misdeed, too. When you spoke lashon hara and those around you thought it okay to listen because it was you who was talking, you carry the responsibility as well… ” Thankfully, we can also benefit from this form of din through the positive effect we can have on our fellow: One way in which to do this is by being a positive example in our own behaviour and thereby inspire those around us to emulate us . Rav Aron Kotler zt”l notes that b’zman hazeh it is very difficult to rebuke someone effectively without embarrassing him. He suggests that one way to help him grow without fear of causing pain is rebuke by example; acting in such a way that inspires others to emulate his behaviour . A yeshiva bachur who, for example consistently arrives on time for Shacharis can influence his roommates to want to do the same; a baal habayis who is makpid to be kovaya itim letorah is an example to those who can’t find the time to learn regularly. Or a person who is careful not to speak lashon hara makes it difficult for those around him to do so by his mere presence. Rav Kotler is mechadesh that if a person deliberately excels in a certain area of avodas Hashem in order to effect onlookers, then he has fulfilled the mitzvo of tochacha. And the greater a person is, the more he can influence others in this way. A resolution to bring all of Jewry back to the Torah was found in the satchel of the great baal mussar, Rav Naftali Amsterdam zt”l. When asked how he planned to carry out this resolution, he replied, “I have resolved to keep all the laws of the Shulchan Aruch strictly. In this way I will serve as a living Shulchan Aruch and anyone who wants to keep the Torah will be able to see in me a living example of a complete Jew and learn from me how to return to the Torah .” Rav Shmuelevitz goes so far as to argue that causing others to fulfil a mitzvo is considered greater than doing the mitzvo oneself. One of his proofs is a Gemara in Sotah : The Gemara says that Yehuda’s body did not find rest until Moshe Rabbeinu prayed for him and mentioned one of his merits; Moshe said to Hashem, “who caused Reuven to confess to his sin [of moving his father’s bed]? Yehuda [when he confessed about the maaseh Tamar].” Rav Shmuelevitz points out that the only zechus that Moshe mentioned in his tefilla is that Yehuda caused Reuven to confess. Why didn’t he mention the great merit of Yehuda’s own confession, an act of great courage that saved the lives of three souls?! We are forced to answer that being mezakeh our fellow is greater than our own deed in and of itself and therefore the effect his deed had on Reuven was greater than the deed itself ! A person can never know when his deeds can influence others, even the smallest actions can have great effect as is demonstrated in the following true stories: Expecting a large crowd in shul on Yom Kippur, the tzaddik, Rav Elya Dushnitzer occupied himself by tearing pieces of toilet paper for public use in the large Petach Tikva shul’s bathroom. A secular Israeli stopped to watch what appeared to him as somewhat peculiar. “Why are you doing that,” he asked. “Tomorrow there is going to be a big crowd, and I don’t want anyone to be inconvenienced.” After becoming a baal teshuva, the Israeli explained what moved him to make a life change. “It was that rabbi. Every rip of paper made a tear deep in my heart. ” Unsure of whether to attend yeshiva full-time or to pursue a regular career, young Moshe decided to go to a yeshiva and see what the guys were like. As he was walking through the lunchroom, a bachur bumped into him, causing Moshe to spill his coffee on another boy seated at a table. Without a moment’s hesitation, the boy jumped up and called out, “Hey, Shimon, quickly bring another cup of coffee for Moshe!” Moshe decided that if this is what yeshiva bachurim are like, then he’s going to stay. He went on to become Rav Moshe Shwab, the mashgiach of Gateshead Yeshiva . The people in these stories who were the catalyst for the great changes people made in their lives, do not merely gain reward for their single action. The Mishna in Avos writes that a person who is mezakeh others receives incredible benefits ; It begins by saying that ‘sin will not come to his hand,’ - many commentators explain this to mean that he will receive great siyata dishmaya to avoid sin . The Mishna then describes Moshe Rabbeinu as an example of a mezakeh d’rabim and says that he receives reward for all the mitzvos that he caused to be done as if he fulfilled them himself. Thus, Rav Aaron Kotler notes that one who is mezakeh others with mitzvos receives incredible reward for his deeds. “one can not imagine the great gain a person receives through this; he is zocheh to extra heavenly protection to not stumble in sin and also to a great number of merits, something which would have been impossible for him to achieve through his own bechira . He writes further that this can help us in din; The Gemara says that the Sifrey Chaim and Sifsey Meisim are opened on Rosh Hashana. Tosefos explains that the dead are also judged . For what are they judged? Rav Kotler answers that even after a person’s death, the actions he committed in the world can still effect others , both positively or negatively. Thus, if a person helps others in such a way that the benefits are long-lasting, he can continue to reap the reward for this even after his own death . May we all be zocheh to the favourable din of the mezakeh harabim.